Search Results for "childhood emotional neglect"
Hidden Stressors-Part Four
Posted by: | CommentsIn this series on hidden stressors, I’ve mostly focused on the emotional aspects.
For many of us, this is the kind of stress that’s easiest to hide, especially if we’ve grown up with Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), or are high on the sensitivity spectrum.
Another reason I’ve focused on the emotional, is emotional issues can predispose us to being more vulnerable to yet another hidden source of stress: toxins.
All of us are subject to this hidden physical stress.
Toxins lurk in our food, water, air, cosmetics, household cleaners, even fabrics.
They also lurk in the energy around us, in the form of electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) and dirty electricity.
I don’t think I have to go into detail about all this. No doubt you’re aware of it, and may feel a little helpless about what to do about it all.
However, we are not helpless at all. There is one main thing we can do to keep healthy, and that is to focus on the immune and nervous systems.
We can do our best to eliminate the things that tax our immune and nervous systems, and add the things that support it.
We can eat organic, filter our water and air as best we can.
We can work on the emotional stressors that tax our nervous system, which in turn governs the immune system.
We can also use energy to our advantage.
I was listening to an interview with Dr. Gerald Smith on Energy Medicine, as part of the Immune Defense Summit from Health Means that I bought awhile ago.
What struck me is the essential truth that health is all about frequency.
Toxins emit low vibrations, and low vibrations lead to disease and dysfunction. High vibrations (found in real, healthful food, clean air and water, loving relationships, plants without pesticides, etc.) bring health and healing.
I was also fascinated by Mike Adams’s presentation where he captured the sounds of various substances–actually translated the frequencies of the elements of the Periodic Table into audible range. Check out the audio here. (4 minutes long)
This is key: When you replace low vibrations with high vibrations, the high vibrations cancel out the low vibrations.
It is a spiritual principle. “The light [high vibration] shines in the darkness [low vibration], and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5)
High vibration–love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, humility, self-control (nine of the categories of The Healing Codes, based on the biblical fruit of the Spirit), always conquer and cancel out the lower vibrations of hatred, depression, fear, impatience, unkindness etc.
And that is, I believe, why The Healing Codes work so well: you are deliberately replacing fear (low vibration) with love (high vibration), lies with truth.
By doing that, you are raising the overall vibration of your body, as well as changing the frequency of the information energy pattern (i.e. image, belief, or memory) in each cell, from low vibration to higher vibration.
That creates an overall positive effect wherein the body can heal itself.
I thought it was also interesting that Dr. Smith mentioned that praying over your food can actually change it. I wrote about that in my blog post, “Can Intention Change Matter?”
It also made me think about the HALO Light System–how the special frequency of the light, shining through the selected botanicals, picks up the energy and transmits it to the body. These high-vibration, healing botanicals have the ability to “overcome” the lower-vibration toxins (viruses, molds, bad bacteria, pesticides, etc.) on the cellular level, so that the cells can repair themselves.
There is much we can do to stay in a high vibration, which overcomes the lower vibration of hidden stressors like toxins, emotional inflammation, and trauma. (Go here to see my recommended list of products that either help mitigate the effects of toxins, or support the body’s natural healing mechanisms.) Prayer, Healing Codes, Halo, Holos (which scans your body and sends frequencies to balance it with healthy frequencies), and a new device I’ll be telling you about (contact me if you’re curious)–all these and more will support you in staying in higher vibrational frequencies.
And that, according to Einstein, is the key to true healing, true medicine. Einstein said, more than 100 years ago, that “Future medicine will be the medicine of frequencies.”
May it be so!
More on the Medicine of Frequencies
If you want to delve more into the “medicine of frequencies.” Children’s Health Defense published a couple of fascinating articles by Rob Verkerk Ph.D.
In Part One, he examines the intimate relationship between electromagnetism and life, who the pioneers of energy medicine are, why energy medicine did not take off as Einstein predicted, and much more.
In Part Two, Verkerk sifts through the rapidly emerging field of frequency-based medical devices. This gets pretty technical, but if this topic interests you, make time for a little education. I think you’ll be inspired and enriched by it, and also—you’ll feel much more confident that The Healing Codes and the other tools I mention here actually have a valid basis in an emerging area of science.
For a review of recommended products to mitigate the negative effects of toxins or support your body’s ability to handle them, click here.
Hidden Stressors-Part Two
Posted by: | CommentsIn a previous post I wrote about how my symptoms were beginning to flare, and how I prayed and got some insights into why.
The first was that I wasn’t honoring my sensitive nature enough, i.e. that I have the inborn trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity: a nervous system that’s more finely tuned than 80% of the population. That makes me a Highly Sensitive Person.
The second insight was related to the first, but with more of an emphasis on recovery: Your nervous system needs to recover from the traumas you’ve been through.
I have known for a while now that Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) characterized my past, ever since I came across Dr. Jonice Webb’s excellent books, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children. (You can take the CEN questionnaire on my Free Tools page.)
I believed that I had overcome it all by now, between The Healing Codes and some therapy.
However, when my mother died and I had to deal with settling her estate with a co-executor (sister-in-law), I saw just what my family of origin really was like. A plethora of traumas revealed themselves—though a few years ago, I wouldn’t have thought of them as traumas.
That’s the thing—what our nervous system interprets as trauma might not be what our adult minds interpret as trauma.
And what one person’s nervous system interprets as trauma might be different from another person’s. Two people can go through the same event and for one, it’s a trauma, and for the other, it’s not.
It’s a physiological thing. The nervous system becomes dysregulated. It needs to be resolved by some sort of somatic therapy, or it can lead to autoimmune and other chronic illnesses.
Here’s a good video that describes how this works. Irene Lyon explains why there’s no difference, physiologically, between Trauma (the obvious “bad stuff”) and “little-t” trauma. She gives a case study of how this works with fibromyalgia, so if you have this, be sure to watch the video.
Note that CEN is trauma. CEN happens when you don’t get enough of the nurturing you needed. It’s also been called Type A trauma—the Absence of nurturing.
And it probably happens more often than not with Highly Sensitive People. Not only do HSPs need emotional attunement more than less sensitive people, not getting it also affects them more deeply.
There’s a term for this: differential susceptibility. It means the “bad” things affect you more deeply.
It also means, happily, that interventions such as The Healing Codes, somatic experiencing, and probably most any kind of natural therapies and remedies help HSPs more.
(There was even a study of teenage girls for a program helping them ward off depression. Only the HS girls were helped, to the extent that the study suggested they screen people for the HS trait and only work with them!)
Do The Healing Codes help with trauma? I’m sure they do. I’m convinced that without doing THC for so many years, I would not now be at the point where I can really get at the root of my traumas and heal them.
That’s the third part of the insight I was given: You are finally ready. If I hadn’t been doing The Healing Codes and Immanuel Prayer for all these years, I would not have gotten to the point where I can heal my deepest traumas. (The earliest of which happened when I was hospitalized for the first 7 weeks of my life, underwent major surgery, and got pneumonia.)
I had to grow my capacity to even face that I had all these traumas in my life. My body is telling me they’re not healed yet—but they are finally ready to be healed.
If you have unexplained, chronic physical symptoms, I encourage you to take the CEN and the Highly Sensitive assessments on my web page. Unhealed traumas are a huge hidden stress to your nervous system.
Awareness is always the first step in healing. If you’re afraid to become aware (I was; I was a master at avoidance of my feelings), use The Healing Codes to heal that first. Be gentle with yourself. Healing is a process, but remember this: We are wired to heal.
And: Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. They need to be acknowledged, welcomed, felt . . . and then they will heal.
Breaking Negative Generational Patterns
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the most amazing thing about The Healing Codes to me is that you can pass on your healing to other people. This is the beauty of energy healing: you can heal others as well as yourself.
How? Because we are energetically connected to those close to us (whether we like it or not), our issues are in part their issues. As we heal our own issues, and intentionally pass on the healing to those we’re close to, they can heal as well.
That’s why I always suggest, at the end of your own Healing Code session, you say, “I release the healing to _____ [name the people], in love, insofar as this issue affects them or this code can help them.”
You can also, of course, do a Healing Code specifically for other people. On my website, you can see several testimonials of clients who have done custom codes for loved ones, with sometimes miraculous results.
I always release my energy healing to my loved ones (and even my “enemies”), and I’m convinced this is one of the reasons why my children are doing so well. My daughter especially has responded well to the Healing Codes. (Though she would never do them herself.) I recall when she was younger, I’d do a Healing Code for something that had her all in a bother in the morning, and then when I picked her up from school and asked about the matter, she’d say, “Oh that—it went fine.” Now she’s all grown up, and in May 2022 she earned her doctorate in physical therapy and is now practicing in a great job, and dating a wonderful premed student.
I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), and unwittingly passed it on to my children. It’s been gratifying to see, however, that they have managed largely to learn how to deal with their emotions anyway, and I’m doing what I can to help them. I believe releasing my Codes to them, as I’ve been working on healing my own CEN, is making a difference.
Along with lots of prayer, of course!
Here’s to breaking negative energetic patterns!
And if you want some help with breaking generational patterns, and/or getting a Healing Code for someone else (perhaps as a gift?), check out my HealingHeartsCoaching.com page.
Turkey or Brisket? (Why It Matters)
Posted by: | CommentsMy client, M.H., told me a rather funny story about her family’s Thanksgiving (and gave me permission to share it). Yet it had a point that can apply to many of us, in one way or another.
All her life, M.’s mother made a turkey for Thanksgiving. Her mom loved turkey, and it’s the thing to do on Thanksgiving, right?
When mom entered assisted living and could no longer cook and host, M’s sister took over. She made the usual turkey, but also brisket, because they all loved brisket.
That year, no one ate the turkey. They realized mom was the only one that had ever liked turkey! M’s sister was furious, declaring, “I’m never cooking a turkey again!”
And so this family now happily celebrates Thanksgiving with brisket and other favorite foods. No more turkey!
What strikes me is that the mom never asked the others if they like turkey, and no one thought of speaking up. Isn’t this so typical of the way many of us do things? We go along with some tradition, never even taking a moment to tune in to our own desires and making our wishes known. We “eat the turkey” even though we hate it.
That’s OK for one day a year, but what if we’re living our whole lives that way? Those who grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect, in which their emotions were ignored or even denigrated, often grew up “going along,” doing all the right things but feeling empty inside. Growing up with any kind of outright abuse can have the same effect.
If this is you, I’m here to tell you there’s more. And that you can have more, be more. If that nagging emptiness dogs you, that can be healed.
First you have to realize you’ve been living “eating the turkey rather than the brisket” you desire. Then, I invite you to check out my new program, Align with Your Divine DesignTM and fill out a Clarity Questionnaire. We’ll hop on a call to see how you can make sure every year you can happily “eat brisket not turkey” with others who feel the same way.
“That Doesn’t Work for Me . . .”
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever read (or heard) something that sounded like great wisdom, great advice . . .
and you try it and it doesn’t work for you?
Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
Then you think, There must be something wrong with me.
I just read some advice about how to feel better when you’re feeling down. The writer called her sponsor and said she was upset about something. The sponsor told her, ‘Get over yourself and go find someone to help.”
The person took the advice, and felt better, she said.
Maybe this works for some people, like her. But for me, as a Highly Sensitive Person who also grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), it’s all wrong. (If you’re not sure if these apply to you, take the free assessments here.)
How (and Why) to Process Your Feelings
Posted by: | CommentsThis past week dealt me several shocks, so this weekend I’ll be taking time to process the many emotions that came up.
When my therapist asked me what I was feeling about all that had happened, I mentioned a whole range of emotions, from outrage and shock to relief and gratitude, and more in between.
“That’s a lot of different emotions for your body to process,” she observed. “Each of them is producing different chemicals in your body. You need to make sure you take time over the next few days to intentionally process each of them.” She warned that if I don’t, it could affect my health in a big way.
This of course I knew, from personal experience and working with hundreds of clients on their “heart issues.” Emotions must be processed, because emotions are “energy in motion.” If that energy isn’t processed and healed, it will go into the body and cause havoc.
Still, I needed the reminder to actually take time to process it all.
Years ago, in prayer, these words came to me: “You have to heal it so we (God and I) can heal it.”
However, if you’ve grown up with Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), you may have no idea how to process an emotion. I’ve learned that while The Healing Codes are great at healing negative emotions, the processing work must come before you actually can heal any negative effects of uncomfortable feelings.
Providentially, this week in a class I was taking, I got a great refresher on how to process an emotion. So I thought I’d pass it on, in case you too can use a little help in this area. Read More→
The Different “Flavors” of Grief
Posted by: | CommentsI have been writing about grief a lot lately, partly because we are all going through it in one way or another. If it’s not the grief of someone actually dying from COVID or other reasons, it’s the grief of a loss of a way of life that was suddenly ripped away a year ago. And many kinds of losses in between.
Plus, I’m walking through the valley of grief myself, as well as alongside many of my clients.
It strikes me that there are several distinct “flavors” of grief, at least two of which few people even talk about.
The Grief of Losing What You Had
This is the first and most obvious grief. You had something precious–a relationship, a business, a dream, a home—and it was somehow lost.
The “flavor” of this grief is bittersweet.
Sweet, because at one time you did experience something good. The lack of that now is what’s bitter.
The steps of Grief Recovery, along with The Healing Codes, heal this grief over time. Read More→
Grief, Grace, Gratitude, and Grit
Posted by: | CommentsMy mother left this earth on November 19, 2020. Marie Boos Filakovsky was 88.
There is grief. It’s showing up as lethargy, insomnia, fatigue, and sadness. I am always amazed at how strong the mother-daughter bond is.
Mom and I had a complicated relationship. The product of Childhood Emotional Neglect herself, she passed that on. She married a good man, my father, and lived out the 1950s script of a good Catholic girl, wife, and mother.
Mom and me, Aug. 2017
I never knew who she really was.
Until she was 78.
That’s when I started giving her custom Healing Codes. And I watched her change.
The changes in my mother solidified for me the power of The Healing Codes.
I can still remember the day she asked me how I was doing—and meant it. Before that, our weekly calls were mostly about her. It didn’t feel like she really was interested in me. Until that day.
From then on, she opened her heart more and more. I discovered to my astonishment that she had a tender, sensitive heart. For most of her life, she had hidden it under layers of socialization. Once she said to me, “You are giving me what I should have given you,” i.e. emotional support.
Then she had a stroke. And a second one, in 2017. After that, communication was very difficult. In a way, I lost the mother I’d just found.
A few weeks ago she was put on palliative care, and it was really difficult not to go out there. But with COVID-19, I just couldn’t risk flying out, for her sake and mine. I was told that it was too taxing for her to talk on the phone.
It was so hard, being cut off from her in her last days. Read More→
The 3 C’s of Healing
Posted by: | CommentsEver since I embarked on this healing journey, for myself and others, I have been fascinated, perhaps even obsessed, with what makes people heal (and, conversely, what prevents healing).
Since many of my clients are making great progress, I have been studying what they are doing. Are there any key ingredients to their healing that caused major transformation in just a few short weeks?
Turns out there are. I have boiled it down to 3 C’s: Courage, Compassion, and Commitment. Read More→
