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The 3 C’s of Healing

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Ever since I embarked on this healing journey, for myself and others, I have been fascinated, perhaps even obsessed, with what makes people heal (and, conversely, what prevents healing).

Since many of my clients are making great progress, I have been studying what they are doing. Are there any key ingredients to their healing that caused major transformation in just a few short weeks?

Turns out there are. I have boiled it down to 3 C’s: Courage, Compassion, and Commitment.

Courage. It takes courage to heal. It means facing yourself and your feelings, which are often painful. It may mean facing the fact that your parents didn’t really love you, not because they didn’t want to, but because they didn’t have the capacity. It means facing unhealthy patterns and beliefs that you have developed, and taking responsibility to change them.

The clients who have healed the deepest and the fastest are those who are willing to be brutally honest with themselves (and me).

When being brutally honest, it’s important to add the next key component to healing.

Compassion. Facing the truth with that brutal honesty needs to be tempered with compassion, first for yourself. When you take responsibility for the dysfunctional beliefs and behaviors, you can tell yourself this truth: “I did the best I could at the time, because I was in survival mode (or, I didn’t know then what I do now, or I had no one to support me”).

Adding compassion to your truth-telling is the catalyst to healing.

It will also help you to heal relationships. You may, for instance, come to the heartfelt belief, “My mother didn’t really know how to love me because she grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect herself, and didn’t know how.”

Earlier I wrote about how compassion seems to release God’s healing power like nothing else. When we apply compassion to ourselves or someone else, I believe we connect with God and his healing flows through us. Truth and love—aren’t these the cornerstones of everything we do?

The third element ensures that the healing “sticks.”

Commitment. Those who heal are committed to their healing. They do their healing work regularly. It is only in the persistent practice of the healing tools that results come.

I have written here and elsewhere about how important commitment and consistency is to your healing. Once your heart realizes you are serious about your healing, and that you are committed to letting it lead the process, your heart will guide you.

It will override your head, or what some people call the “ego-mind” and others call “the flesh.” Whatever you call it, there is a force inside that doesn’t want you to heal, only because healing means change, and change is scary to the ego-mind. Ego-mind wants everything safe, which means, to it anyway, “the way it’s always been.”

One of the blocks to healing I have noticed in clients is a sense of “who will I be without ____”? (Fill in the blank with your issue, trauma, belief, etc.)

“Who will I be if I don’t see myself anymore as a victim of a narcissistic mother?”

“Who will I be if I don’t have this illness that has gotten me all this attention and the care that I never had as a child?”

“Who will I be if I let go of the fear that has ruled me all my life?”

The Commitment to our healing takes us full circle, right back to Courage. It overrides the ego-mind and activates the courage to heal.

And then—you will heal! Perhaps in a miraculous way.

If a miracle is defined as a shift in perspective, then you should expect miracles regularly from your healing work.

That is, as long as you rest it on the three-legged stool of Courage, Compassion, and Commitment.

And if you want some extra support, I stand ready to help you ignite your Courage, Compassion, and to hold you accountable to your Commitment to heal. Peruse the options at


Several years ago, in my prayer time these words were imprinted on my soul: “You need to feel it so we can heal it.”

At the time, I didn’t really understand this. In fact, I disagreed with it. Alex Loyd taught us practitioners that with The Healing Codes, you didn’t even have to feel the emotions.

Such impressions on my spirit I take as possible messages from God, so I looked for proof as to what to believe.

Since I believe Scripture is revealed Truth, that is always my first go-to for testing anything. Were there any scriptures that attested to this idea that you have to “feel it” to be healed? And what did the greatest Healer who walked the earth do—how did Jesus heal?

Turns out, when Jesus was on earth, most of what he did, whether teaching or healing, came after he felt something. And it was something specific: compassion.

  • “Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). Then he told his disciples to pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out more workers into his harvest. Compassion led Jesus to instruct and pray.

 Compassion led Jesus to heal. All these verses mention how he felt:

  • “Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes; and immediately they regained their sight and followed Him” (Matthew 20:34). Also Mark 1:41: “Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched [the leper], and said to him, ‘I am willing; be cleansed.’”

  • In Matthew 14:14-21, we again see Jesus healing out of feeling compassion: “When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed their sick” (Mark 14:14). He also was sensitive to their other physical needs: “I feel compassion for the people because they have remained with Me now three days and have nothing to eat. If I send them away hungry to their homes, they will faint on the way; and some of them have come from a great distance.” So what did he do? He took what they had—seven loaves of bread and a few fish—and fed a crowd of 4000.
  • In Luke 17:12-15, Jesus felt compassion for a widow who had lost the last of her family, a son—and raised the son from the dead!

It seems to me that feeling compassion was a precursor to the release of Jesus’ power.

I noticed in the words I was given, that there were two pronouns: “you” and “we.”

You have to feel it so we can heal it.”

I allow myself to feel, and then we–God and I, together–heal it.

Feeling–and specifically, the feeling of compassion–seems to be the point of connection between God and humans. If you think of God as some distant deity who doesn’t care at all about your concerns, that is not supported at all by Scripture. Here are 25 verses on God’s compassion to start with.

Feeling compassion is a way of connecting with God and God’s power. It was what released Jesus’ power to heal. Why can’t it be the same for us?

In fact, I believe it is.

Dr. Mark Virkler posted an amazing testimony of Chris Harrison, a man who was literally at death’s door, whom the doctors had given up on. Chris was miraculously healed himself and subsequently became the channel through which other amazing healing miracles happened.

What so struck me about this story was that Chris had to feel the same kind of hopelessness, lostness and impending doom that sick people feel, and with that empathy came the kind of compassion that healed not only Chris, but others after him.

I have always thought that my career is built on empathy. The more I feel along with my clients, the more they seem to heal. Perhaps the “we” in the “so we can heal it” may also refer to another person, or another person and God?

You—my client—need to feel it so we—you, God and I together—can heal it. My part would be to share in God’s compassion, thereby  amplifying it for you.

Something to ponder, anyway. Let me know what you think.

And if you want someone to “feel it” along with you so you can “heal it,” check out my coaching at

Why Healing Your Heart Matters

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You don’t need me to tell you that we live in very troubling times. It’s all around us, and we can’t escape it. Political polarization, uncertainty, job loss, the pandemic, social media nastiness (which I avoid totally), natural disasters, racial injustice, violence. Even if you limit your news intake, as I do, you still can’t avoid the negative energy all around.

For some of us, especially if we have the trait of High Sensitivity, the energy is palpable; we may even feel it physically.

Authors Dr. Lise Van Susteren and Stacey Colino wrote a book about it, calling it Emotional Inflammation. It’s a state “not unlike post-traumatic stress disorder, but one that stems from simply living in today’s tumultuous world.”

Some symptoms include sleep problems, hyperactivity, persistent grief, or inescapable worry about the future.

In such a climate as ours now, we need to be especially intentional about our own healing. Because healing the heart matters.

It matters because it changes everything, starting with your very identity.

When you heal your heart issues, you begin to realize who you really are. You uncover what I think of as your Essential Self. Essential as in your essence—your core self, operating according to your core values.

Your Essential Self is really your human spirit. Your human spirit is meant to align with God’s Spirit, so that God’s Life flows through spirit to body and soul. This is where healing happens. This is why healing happens.

This is also why healing doesn’t happen. If heart issues block this flow of God-life, then dysfunction begins.

Healing is a spiritual matter.

When God’s Life does flow, and to the extent that it flows freely, everything becomes aligned with that God-life. We begin to know God as he really is, not as we have been conditioned by our relationships and/or past religious teachings to believe. We begin to connect with True God, and in so doing, we become more and more our True Self.

We can connect with other people better as well, when we’re aligned with God like this. Our Essential Self calls forth the Essential Self in others. Thus they, too, without even realizing it, are set on a path to healing, just because we are changing.

This was illustrated for me recently in talking to a client. She has had some difficult relationships with some of her siblings, and has worked hard to set healthy boundaries and let go of expectations. Recently, one of her siblings made a remark about herself indicating a level of self-awareness my client has never seen before. It hadn’t seemed possible that this sibling would ever say something like that. I believe that at least in part, the change was due to my client changing her own part of the relationship with her custom Healing Codes, and releasing the effects to her sibling.

If you understand The Healing Codes, you understand that everything is basically energy. Einstein said this more than 100 years ago. All energy has a frequency, a vibration. Every memory is energy that vibrates at a certain frequency. Some frequencies, such as the Schumann frequency of the earth, are healthy and life-giving. Some are destructive, such as man-made electro-magnetic frequencies (EMF).

With The Healing Codes, we change the frequencies of the negative images, memories and beliefs, which I believe reside in the information energy pattern in our DNA (cellular memories). When this happens, we “vibrate” at a higher level.

The “vibration” of our Essential Self, aligned with God, affects others. I have heard that if you put a bunch of pendulums in a room, all swinging in different rhythms, after 24 hours they will aleml swing to the same rhythm, according to the strongest pendulum.

Let’s be that “strongest pendulum.” Heal your heart matters because healing your heart matters. To you, to those in your circles of influence, to the world.

Step One in changing the world is to become your Essential Self, aligned with God so His life flows through you to others.

And if you would like help with healing your heart issues so that you can fully align with your divine design, visit and check out my coaching packages. Every custom client code is including Emotional Inflammation to clear away that new layer of negativity we’re all facing.

The Cat Saga Continues . . .

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God seems to be using pets to teach me lessons these days. Specifically, cats.
I wrote in this blog post about what happened when we had to put our wonderful big black cat, Joey, down after 16 years of joy.
Then we did get Buddy. But things didn’t work out as we’d hoped.
Now there’s a new chapter in the cat saga.
In that last blog post, I talked about how I had surrendered the whole matter to God. I even wrote, “I am quite sure that when I’m ready for another cat, one will somehow come into my life.”
Well, literally no sooner had I hit the “publish” button than I got a notification from our Nextdoor neighborhood chat group that someone had a cat that had hung around their house all day, and now that it was night she was concerned about it being outside.
I saw the neighbor lived in my town, so I asked where. She lives two blocks away! I said I’d take the cat, at least overnight.
And that’s how Cleo has come into our lives. (I’m not sure what her name was, but that’s the name that comes to my heart.)
Cleo is not the cuddly cat I would have chosen. Frankly, I’m not sure she has “chosen” us yet. But she is the cat that has come to us, seconds after I had surrendered and wrote that at the right time, the right cat would come to us. I think she had been abandoned, but that at one time she did have a good home. She does not have a chip or collar.
I am giving Cleo time to adjust, just as I’m giving myself time to grieve over Joey. Perhaps Cleo too is grieving. Miraculously, she gets along fine with my son’s dog Chester, who is often with us. My vet says she seems well cared for. So maybe someone out there is grieving the loss of Cleo. I’m doing Healing Codes for her and me, for grief. (Yes, The Healing Codes work well for pets, too. I just did one for Chester, who was acting fearful because of the thunderstorm. Right after I released the Code to him, he stops trembling, jumped down from the chair, and seems fine.)
Cleo’s lessons are about surrendering: giving up my ideas about what I think I want, to receive whatever good is waiting for me.
Perhaps the owner will come forth, and I will have to give her up, and I’ll be petless again.
(I think it’s amusing that God seems to think I’m not meant to be petless for long. Since Joey left this life, we were petless for only 9 days!)
Whatever happens, I’m ready to receive it, because I know it will be God’s best, tailored to me, packaged with the lessons I need to learn now.
Update, August 28: Cleo continues to slowly warm up to us. She’s not unfriendly; she even comes when called. She just isn’t a lap cat, and may never be.

I’ve had to learn a few new things–like, how to keep her from destroying our furniture. She seems to love her scratching pad–to lie on! However, she has begun to scratch it, too.

I found a recipe for a cat deterrent spray made up of rosemary essential oil, water, and a bit of soap. It does seem to help some. We’re also trying to show her “no, not the couch” but “yes, here’s your scratch pad.”

Of course, she shows no interest in the fancy scratching post we got her, even though I scattered catnip around the base. (Joey went wild over catnip. Cleo likes it, but is not crazy about it.)

So the lessons in patience, in finding new ways to do things, in enjoying what is rather than what I wish it would be, continue. We like watching her. She will probably warm up to us more in time. At least she’s not a hider….

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Ever since I helped Dr. Alex Loyd get his book, The Healing Code, published, I have longed to see some real research studies done to prove the efficacy of this process.

I know it works. It healed a hole in my heart, has kept me afloat during various traumas and the “tsunami” of the past five years, and has helped thousands of my clients and subscribers to heal their “heart issues” and more.

But . . . I hadn’t seen any studies on it.

Well, now there are two.

Both studies were done at Payame Noor University in Iran, but each study targeted a different group.

One explored the efficacy of The Healing Codes on the emotional and physical well-being of women recovering from skin cancer. (The studies referred to The Healing Codes as “self-healing training,” which I think is a great description of what it is.) Read More→

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In my last blog post, I wrote about how we lost Joey, our cat of 16 years. And how I had my eye on a new cat, Buddy. The writeup said he was ready to save a new human with his unconditional love.”

I did end up learning lessons from Buddy the cat. Not about love, but about the Heart, grief, and the power of the Halo.

It all started when the foster mom for Buddy called on Monday to offer to bring the cat to my house. I thought, “Why not?” But I didn’t really pray about it or check in with my Heart.

Well, the foster mom for Buddy called on Monday to offer to bring the cat to my house. I thought, “Why not?” But I didn’t really pray about it or check in with my Heart.

On Tuesday foster mom Rita brought Buddy by. He was very shy, but we finally coaxed him out of his hiding place. He rubbed up against our legs and allowed us to pet him. Read More→

This week we had to face that fact that our beloved big black cat, Joey, the last of our pets, was too sick to treat, and had to put him down.

This is the first time in 20 years I have been petless, and I can hardly stand it. So I’ve been looking at descriptions of adoptable cats in local animal shelters.

This description struck of one particular cat struck me, and I’ll tell you why after you read it:

“Buddy is a 4 year old Superhero that possess abilities beyond those of ordinary cats. He can use his purr-powers to help your home become a better place. He wears his black & white logo with pride. He has other powers too, which include winning every race to the food bowl, out weighing most of his lap-cat competitors at 17.5 lbs, and able to make you love him in a single leap of faith! Buddy recently experienced a major life change when his beloved human was transferred to a senior home. Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back like Superheroes do, and is ready to save a new human with his unconditional love.”

That last line struck me: “Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back. . . .”

That is what love does, for humans and animals: it makes us resilient, even in the face of loss. I feel drawn to Buddy; maybe he’ll be our next cat? Already he’s given me a lesson in resilience.

Coaching question: How can you draw on the love you have received in your most important positive relationships to help you “bounce back,” especially during these exceptional times? How can you offer love to another to help them become more resilient?

If you would like help healing your heart issues and opening up to love and be loved, check out my coaching at

In my last blog post, I talked about a question that can shift everything. I shared about the “tsunami” that hit our family over the last 5 years, and how asking, “Are these things happening TO me or FOR me?” helped me shift my focus and get through it all with lessons learned and even gifts received.

It occurred to me afterward that I could adapt that question into a Truth Focus Statement to use with my Healing Code work, and I did that as I worked on my current issues. (Always seems to be some issue to work on! This healing journey is never over in this life.)

So the “Truth that Shifts” I used was: “God allows difficult things to come into my life for my ultimate good. He is constantly willing and able to work all things together for good as I entrust each difficulty to him. I will look for the gift and the lesson, and respond in gratitude.”

This Truth Focus Statement is something I do believe totally, so it will work to infuse a greater truth than what I might feel (that life is happening TO me and I have no control).

According to High Sensitivity expert Julie Bjelland, any positive input takes at least 20 seconds to register in our brain as a positive, and it takes 8-10 positives to counteract one negative. (The negative goes into the brain automatically.)  This is probably why Truth Focus Statements are so powerful when done with holding a Healing Code position for 30 seconds. Your Truth that Shifts will be negating the lie you’ve believed, actually changing your brain and the frequency of that “cellular belief.”

One of the things we constantly need to look for and heal on our healing journey is the lies we believe. We get to the lies through the feelings. When I felt helpless and overwhelmed, I was believing that life was happening TO me. The Truth that Shifts was to believe that God allowed these things to come into my life because he has a purpose for them. Looking for the lessons learned, gifts received, and valued character traits developed from the challenges of my life made me realize that, indeed, almost if not every challenge did yield a gift.

The trick is to look for it.

We discussed this in my Healing Hearts Circle group coaching this week. One person shared how growing up with alcoholism, while tremendously difficult, developed in her a great ability to see through things, to “read the energy” of people and situations. To me, this is an example of how our experiences can magnify a trait we already have: this person was born a Highly Sensitive empath.

Another member shared how he conquered his fear of heights, then transferred this to a belief that he could conquer his current fear. His Truth that Shifts: “Because I already overcame one fear, I know I can conquer this one, too.”

So I leave you with two things that will enhance your Healing Code work.

One: Identify the lie behind your issue (there almost always is one), and explore what might be the Truth That Shifts. Look for the gift/lesson/character trait that came as a result of whatever challenge you faced in your memory or from something like what you’re facing now, as my client who used overcoming his fear of heights to give him confidence to overcome his current fear.

Two: Fashion a Truth Focus Statement around that exploration, and use that when doing your Healing Code.

Let me know how this works for you!

And if you want personalized help in finding the lies, and/or fashioning your Truth that Shifts Truth Focus Statement, check out my coaching. I also have a free download for Truth Focus Statements you can use any time. Go to and click on the Free Tools link.

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The Big Shift that Heals

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“Is life happening TO you or FOR you?”

When this question was posed to me, it stopped me dead in my tracks.

I had been trying to process the events of the past five years. They were a rough five years, and the recent “emotional inflammation” of world events and some new personal challenges had triggered still unprocessed issues.  It felt important to revisit the traumas of the past several years from the perspective of this question.

CC BY by uriba

It all started in 2015, with a dental crisis. Then my husband was forcibly retired, and the family lost our medical insurance, not to mention his income. We had to fight his employer to get unemployment insurance.

My son was also laid off at the same time. My husband’s sister, Connie, got cancer and was put on hospice. My husband became her Power of Attorney, and we discovered Connie’s caregiver had been stealing money from her. What was especially painful is the caregiver saw to it that the money Connie was going to send my daughter for her college education was taken, and it was uncertain how my daughter was going to finish college. Read More→

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Healing Over Time

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“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with  you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!”–Isaiah 43:2

My friend Virginia told me the greatest gift she’s received from God is the gift of healing. “Many times I have been hurt so deeply I think I can never get over this,” she said. She mentioned embarrassments,  humiliations, loneliness, depression, and discouragement. Yet despite such feelings, Virginia  says, “over time, the trauma of the experience dims. I look back on  the experience without the feelings I had in the midst of it. I have the lessons I learned from it. I’m amazed at how resilient I am.”

I could easily remember such experiences in my own life.

I like something I heard from Dr. Mark Virkler: “You know when something is healed when you can see the gift in it.” That feels right. Once we truly receive the lessons, the gifts from the experience, we are healed.

There is a progression to pain. First the blow. Then the shock. Then the tidal wave of pain. Here is the critical point. Will we wade through pain all the way to the other side–trusting there is another side? Or will we fight the tide, trying to turn around and escape it? (Futile  thought!) Will we pretend we’re sailing through when we’re actually drowning? Even if we refuse to wade right in, the pain will lap at our feet. It will pose a threat, keeping us trapped on the shore.

If we don’t resist the pain, the current will take us to the other side. Healing is built into creation. The Healing Codes and prayer can greatly speed the healing, which is always a process.

As the moon governs the tide, so grace governs the deep waters that engulf you. Grace will get you to the other side. From that distant shore, a much stronger swimmer, you will look out over the waters and say in wonder, “I came  through. I can see the gifts. The current of grace did not fail.”

And it never will!

Related article: “Do I Need To Keep Doing Healing Codes Once My Issue Heals?”

If you would like some personalized help to speed the healing of your heart issues, check out my coaching at

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