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A Whole New Layer of Healing

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I have been on a healing journey for the past 11 years of doing Healing Codes, and I thought I’d experienced significant healing.

Every area of my life got better: health, relationships, and career.
 
However, since taking a marriage class on How We Love, and discovering the work of Dr. Jonice Webb on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), I’m seeing that there is a whole new layer of healing possible. There is a depth and breadth of emotional experience that I had not realized was possible.
 
With The Healing Codes, we focus a lot on healing memories. Eleven years of working on memories got me to the point that I couldn’t remember much more.
 
The new layer of healing opened up when I realized that what now has to heal is not something, but a lack of something.
 
The lack of attunement to my emotions. The lack of validation of my experiences–good or bad. The lack of being shown how to navigate the difficulties of life.
 
The lack of  nurturing. It’s also called Type A Trauma (the Absence of nurturing, as opposed to Type B–Bad trauma such as abuse). Type A trauma is just as bad as Type B, but it’s harder to put your finger on. (And Type A is always present in Type B, so if you’ve had significant healing for Type B, you still need to heal from Type A.)
 
Search your memory. Do you have lots of examples of having your family ask you:
  • How do you feel?
  • What do you want?
  • What do you need?
  • Why are you angry, or sad, or hurt?

I didn’t. Actually can’t remember one single time when any of those questions were asked. I do remember a few times when I had experienced a trauma, and it was completely ignored. In fact, in one instance, my mother was concerned more about what my father would do when he found out what happened to me, than what I was feeling from the trauma.

It’s not my parents’ fault. How could they give me something they never even knew they didn’t have?
 
And how could I give my own children something I never even knew I was supposed to have?
 
How do you heal something you don’t know you were
 
supposed to have?
 
You do it through awareness, and relationship, I believe.
 
Now that I’ve become aware of CEN, I can do something about it. And I’d like to make you aware of what you may also have missed, but just couldn’t put your finger on.
 
A friend (who no doubt grew up with CEN) told me she would watch Little House on the Prairie and The Waltons to get pictures of what healthy relationships look like. She was filling her heart screen with images of healthy ways of dealing with life’s crises, images that were not part of her personal experience.
 
I think that’s a great idea. Finding healthy marriages, friends, families and examples from books and other media can “stock the well” of Love Pictures to use when trying to heal CEN with Healing Codes.
 
If you have a vague sense of chronic anxiety, or emptiness, or emotional flatness … or more intense feelings of depression, hopelessness, despair–CEN could be the cause.
 
Good news: You can heal that. Don’t worry about finding memories when doing Healing Codes. Just put in the prayer of intention, “from childhood emotional neglect” or “from never having my feelings/experiences validated,” and find a positive focus of a healthy relationship, or a memory when your feelings were validated, when doing your Healing Codes.
 
And something more: check in with yourself and your emotions periodically through the day. Take the Love Styles quiz and find out what injured  relational pattern you developed from your past experiences. Just start noticing, and healing what you notice.
 
If you do this, I believe you, too, will experience a whole new level of healing and relating. You can come to a place of feeling alive, feeling your feelings, feeling the warmth of connection, and seeing the bright colors in your world. Your joy will increase, along with a more solid sense of yourself and your own value.
 
And if you would like help with this, feel free to check out my Healing Codes Coaching site and consider getting some coaching and custom Healing Codes. I’m forging the trail ahead for you!
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I started using Wholetones some time ago because so many clients raved about it, but only more recently have I begun to use them when doing my Healing Codes.

What was I waiting for?!

What I’ve found is that Wholetones causes shifts in my issue much quicker than before—often, a significant shift happens daily! I am totally hooked on Wholetones and recommend them.

So what are Wholetones?

Wholetones: The Healing Frequency Music Project  was created by Michael Tyrell, an accomplished author, speaker, and well-known musician. He began developing it after he met a piano player in Israel who gave him what appeared to be a simple manuscript. Inside that manuscript was the music that would change Michael’s life forever. As he began working with it, he discovered seven hidden musical frequencies that had the power to heal the mind, body, and spirit.

This is what makes Wholetones unlike anything else of its kind. Since its release in November, 2014, thousands of people are feeling better than they have in years and they’ve flooded Michael with letters to say Wholetones is the reason.

These 7 unique “Musical Tones” are found to:

  • relieve stress
  • promote healing
  • break negative cycles
  • and restore sound sleep . . . in minutes! (22 minutes, 22 seconds per song, to be exact)
There are 7 CDs in the Wholetones: The Healing Frequency Music Project, and I can’t tell you which is my favorite. I have even taken to having it playing in the background, because it’s been reported that having those frequencies playing in the background reaches the body’s DNA for repair.
 
And you know how I’ve been harping on you about sleep? Well, a client of mine called me excitedly to tell me how much the Wholetones2Sleep music has helped her sleep since she got it.
 
Finally, there’s also a Wholetones Christmas album. Sounds like a great gift to me … perhaps with a Healing Codes custom Coaching session and free “Getting Started with The Healing Codes” course?

Visit https://www.healingheartissues.com/wholetones to learn the whole story and discover how this music can enhance your wellness (and get $10 off your order through 12/31/2018; use coupon code WHOLE10).

When I was a child, I somehow got the idea from my family that I couldn’t have what I wanted.

When I asked for gymnastic lessons, my mother couldn’t be bothered with taking me back and forth to lessons.

When I asked if I could learn to play the piano, she said crossly, “Where would we fit a piano in this house?”

I’ve written about how I was triggered on Fourth of July by memories of never getting a helium balloon at the parade, and how that and other things led to my forming the beliefs, “I can’t have what I desire. Other people will think I’m selfish and reject me if I do or ask for what feels right for me.”

Which eventually led to a feeling of guilt and shame for even desiring anything pleasurable. Which eventually shut me down.

Hearing teachings by various spiritual leaders only reinforced the idea: It’s selfish to seek what I desire, wrong to seek pleasure and avoid pain. One renowned religious radio teacher even said repeatedly, “If you have a choice between the easy way and the hard way, always choose the hard way” (because it will build character).

Being part of the 15-20% of the population whose nervous system is programmed differently only made things worse. Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are literally wired to feel both pleasure and pain even more acutely than others. To deny us the pleasure and say we shouldn’t avoid the pain cuts us off from the essence of who we are. Also, to shame us when what we desire or need is different is also very damaging. (I was called “Little Miss Fuss-Budget” by my father because things bothered me that didn’t bother other people, like scratchy clothing. I was supposed to endure things that bothered me because I “wasn’t supposed to” be bothered by them.)

Was it any wonder that I had trouble feeling joy, or indeed, anything?

And was it any wonder that I developed poor boundaries, allowing other people to take advantage of me because I was ignoring the emotions that warned me to avoid pain? (Uneasiness, anxiousness, outrage, disgust.)

Well, I’m healing from all that. Here’s what I’m doing.

Steps to Healing

The first step is to recognize the lies.

As human beings, we were created to seek fulfillment, to go after pleasure and avoid pain.

We seek the pleasure of eating, so we are nourished. We seek the pleasure of relationship, so we seek community, we bond and procreate.

Of course we can seek pleasure in ways that are ultimately destructive. When we seek only our own desires, at the expense of others, we harm them and ourselves. We can try to avoid pain through destructive means, too. But that doesn’t negate the validity of  seeking to fulfill our desires and avoid pain in legitimate ways.

In fact, I believe God puts desires into our hearts so that he can feel the pleasure of fulfilling them.

Think about how how you try to find the perfect gift that will really make the recipient feel loved, special, known. Isn’t that what God does for us? I believe he finds joy when we receive his gifts with pleasure and joy. (I wrote a whole book, Abundant Gifts, about the transforming power of looking for and receiving God’s gifts.)

And doesn’t God try to warn us to avoid things that will cause us pain? The Word of God is filled with cautions not to do certain things because he knows they would be bad for us.

The second step was to renounce the lies, and embrace the truth. I did Healing Codes to heal the memories that led to my believing the lies. I infused the truth that it’s OK and good to let my legitimate desires and needs be more of a priority, and to take better care of myself.

The third step was to incorporate the new beliefs into my everyday life. I made a list of things that give me pleasure, and I incorporate those into my life whenever possible. I focus on savoring the simple things.

Not surprisingly, I’m finding my stress load lessening dramatically. My joy is increasing.

Also, I took a good look at what was causing me pain. A couple of key relationships that now felt toxic to me came to mind. Painful as it was, I cut off those relationships.

Again, my stress load lessened by quite a bit. I did Healing Codes to help heal the grief of letting go of the relationships.

I believe that a big part of healing and mastering the stress in our lives has to do with seeking pleasure and avoiding pain in life-giving ways.

The key is recognizing temporary vs. more lasting pleasure and pain, and to find life-giving ways to do both.

Life-giving is key. It often means we may give up a temporary pleasure for a more lasting satisfaction. We’re still seeking pleasure, but it’s a more permanent pleasure. And sometimes that includes embracing a little pain, but again, you’re exchanging temporary pain for lasting pleasure.

An example might be teaching your child to clean his room. He may act ornery, and as if he hates you even, but you are willing to put up with that because you set your gaze on the more lasting pleasure of having a child who knows how to take care of things. (And in the long run, it means less work for you.)

If you can relate to what I’ve been saying, I encourage you to list what gives you pleasure, what is causing pain. Look at the beliefs you might have that are blocking you from embracing pleasure and/or avoiding pain in legitimate ways. See if you can identify memories attached to those lies. Use The Healing Codes or healing prayer to heal those memories.

Then, add as much pleasure, avoid as much pain as you can. Life has enough suffering that we can’t avoid. Let’s not let guilt or shame or a false sense of what it means to be a “good person” keep us from embracing the abundant life God has for us (John 10:10).

And if you need any help with identifying and healing those lies and memories, I’m always available for custom coaching with The Healing Codes at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Someone wrote to me recently asking how to do a Healing Code for a friend who had had brain surgery, and was not responsive.

Well, first of all, I believe that as long as a person is alive, the human spirit is able to perceive, even if because of the physical state, the body and mind seem totally unresponsive.

You don’t have to know a person’s heart issue to connect with his or her spirit and send healing.

So I like to pray the Prayer of Intention like this:

“Dear God, I pray you will call ___’s spirit to attention to connect with your Spirit to receive your healing and grace. Please find, open and heal anything that would prevent ____ from full recovery, by filling him with your love, light and life. Please also magnify the effectiveness of this healing to the maximum level for his highest good, at an optimal pace, and restore everything–spirit, soul, mind and body–to your original, intended design. Thank you, Lord, for your ability and willingness to do these things.”

You can amend the above prayer to fit a different situation, of course. If, for instance, you want to do a Code for someone with cancer, you can say, “… find, open and heal anything that is causing or contributing to the cancer, by filling …”

You can do the Code on yourself, perhaps using the Truth Focus Statement, “The life-giving light of the Lord God Almighty shines in all ____’s darkness, to bring complete healing, peace, and right relationships with God, self and others.”

When you’re done with the Code, you can open your hands in a release gesture and say, “I release the full effects of this healing to _____, in love.”

It’s that simple!

It’s wonderful to do Healing Code for others. I do, regularly, especially for my family. (I do Q Codes for others because that’s so much quicker, and allows me to do more for more people–and myself!)

In fact,  it’s been my experience that doing a Healing Code for someone else is actually more powerful than that person doing it for him or herself, because the love that motivates you adds to the power of the Code.

Related: Video and more articles on doing Healing Codes for others.

 

 

 

After my daughter was born, some 23 years ago as I write this, I fell into a pretty severe post-partem depression.

It was probably caused by a combination of taking my thyroid medication at the wrong time, hormone imbalances, and lack of sleep.

This was way before The Healing Codes came into my life. I didn’t know what to do. I did seek medical help, but oddly, I didn’t get any. All I remember is the doctor saying, “Your color is good” (did he ever hear of makeup?), and basically doing nothing. I was too exhausted and depressed to keep seeking help.

So what I did was pray. And God gave me His prescription, which was pretty simple.

God’s Prescription for My Depression

Just three steps.

1. Write “morning pages” first thing when I wake up. Three pages of longhand in a 9×11 lined notebook. Brain dumping, whatever comes into my head.

I’ve been doing that every single day, just about, since 1995.

The effect is wonderful. I get all the junk out, first thing every day. Sometimes I write down dreams. Only occasionally do I get a few good ideas that I can use in my work. Mostly it’s stream-of-consciousness dribble I doubt anyone would find remotely interesting.

I realized later, though, how clever and efficient God is. Not only did this practice stand in for a more expensive counselor; it also made me a better, more fluent writer. I have not experienced writer’s block for decades.

2. Walk every day in the morning. This is the second thing God told me to do for my depression. Later I read that many studies say this is at least as effective as medication. God knew that already!

3. The third thing was to notice the gifts of each day, and write them down. Many people keep “gratitude journals,” but this felt a little different. I was to deliberately connect God to it: What felt like a gift from God that day?

The more I looked, the more I saw. I challenged myself to find at least 3 gifts every day.

Many people keep “gratitude journals,” and that is a very good practice. But for me, thinking of it as a “gifts journal” makes it “gratitude plus.” Noticing and writing down things that feel like gifts from God–somehow it takes gratitude to a whole new level.

For me, it takes gratitude out of the realm of “principle” (gratitude is good for you because it focuses you on the positive, which of course is true), to the personal. When you keep a gifts journal, it’s all about noticing and fully receiving what the supreme Giver has given to you. These are connection points, in time and space, when you received something from a Person that you can’t see. The gifts are footprints of God’s presence in your life.

I started keeping that “gifts journal” in 1995, and in a couple of years I had enough to fill a book. The book of my heart, Abundant Gifts, was published first by Tyndale House in 1999 and then republished in 2004 by New Hope Publishers, after famous author Jan Karon said, “God speaks to me from Diane’s pen.”

Keeping track of the things that feel like gifts has been totally life-changing for me.

Just yesterday, I got another “abundant gift.” My office chair needed replacing; it was starting to affect my back. My husband also could needed one.

Well, my son came home with two free chairs from his office! But here’s the real gift: someone in our neighborhood was giving away an office chair–the same day. That was the one that suited me best. God picked out my new office chair! In one day, God supplied, for free, office chairs for me, my husband and son.

Some people call these “gifts from the Universe.” If that’s your belief, fine. But to me, it’s much more personal than that. I’d rather receive from “the Father of lights”: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). Isn’t that beautiful?

Keeping a gifts journal pulled me out of depression, and led to a book that blessed thousands. Whenever I’m down, I get back to keeping my gifts journal.

I hope you will consider doing the same. Look for at least 3 things every day that felt like gifts. The more you look, the more you’ll find!

And oh–don’t forget to thank the Giver. That completes the blessing. The Giver loves to be acknowledged and thanked, just as we do.

If you would like to download the same “Abundant Gifts Journal” I use, for free, go here.

 

 

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With The Healing Codes, we look for memories that carry the same kind of feeling as the main issue that bothers us. The idea is that what bothers you now is likely attached to something called “implicit” memory (memories hidden in the subconscious mind), and if we find and heal that original memory, the current issue will resolve.

But what if, like many people, you can’t find any memories with that feeling?

Maybe you’ve had that feeling most of your life. Maybe you have very few childhood memories, period.

All the more reason to use something like The Healing Codes, because the original memories are likely so painful, that your Heart wants to protect you from the pain of remembering.

(This why, by the way, a lot of times “talk therapy” alone isn’t very effective. I had a therapist tell me, point blank, “therapy doesn’t heal anything.” We need a way to get at these implicit memories that carry the original lie.)

If you can’t remember much from your childhood, it may well be for yet a different reason. It could be because you grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect.

Running on Empty

What happens when you grow up in a family in which emotions were not acknowledged, validated, and dealt with?

In her excellent book, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional NeglectDr. Jonice Webb says that it’s not necessarily what happened to you that can cause problems. What failed to happen for you as a child “has as much or more power over who you have become as an adult than any of the events that you do remember.”

Some call it Type A trauma–the Absence of nurturing. And it can be just as damaging as Type B trauma, where the bad stuff like abuse happened.

Memories are formed when you feel strong emotions around an event. If your feelings were ignored, if no one ever helped you process your emotions, it can have an insidious effect on your life as an adult.

That’s because our brains record events as memories. Things that fail to happen go unnoticed, unseen, and unremembered.

You might struggle with self-discipline and self-care, of feel unworthy, disconnected, unfulfilled. Empty.

If you have the trait that 20% of the population has, High Sensitivity, where your nervous system is wired to process things deeply (including emotions), susceptible to over-stimulation (sensory or emotional), emotionally reactive, and sensitive to subtle stimuli–Childhood Emotional Neglect does even more harm.

When you’re Highly Sensitive, emotions are your native language. That’s a big part of the trait–emotional reactivity. If your language is not spoken or understood in your family, to them you were constantly speaking gibberish. You may have  been shamed or ridiculed. You may have tried to shut down, to turn off those feelings.

Thus you may have few memories, a feeling of emptiness and more likely than not, problems with your health, relationships, and/or career.

Emotion is energy, and that energy has to go somewhere. If it’s appropriately processed, it goes to a memory that becomes part of your life.

If it’s not properly processed, it becomes hidden trauma, and it goes into the body and mind and causes illness and disease. More and more scientific evidence points to emotional issues as the source of many if not most physical problems.

Then of course, there are the mental, emotional, and relational problems that show up because of hidden, unhealed memories. In How We Love, Milan and Kay Yerkovich identify five “injured Love Styles” that can show up in families where there has been emotional neglect or other circumstances that interfere with a strong, secure emotional bond with caregivers early in life.

What’s the solution? How to you begin to heal what Jonice Webb calls “the invisible force that may be at work in your life”?

Reconnect with Your Emotions

First, you may need to relearn the language of feelings. Just allow yourself to name the feelings, to yourself and others. For some, this may not be easy. You may feel shame for having certain feelings, or having feelings at all.

Or you may have trouble even identifying your feelings. Running on Empty includes several pages of feelings words, and so does How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

Ask yourself when you felt that way earlier in your life. If a memory comes up, heal it with The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer.

If no memory comes up, don’t sweat it. Just say in your Healing Code Prayer of Intention, “… from the childhood emotional neglect.” Assume that’s the source.

If you have any fear around the idea of welcoming emotions into your life, start with healing that fear. We always start where we are. Ask, “What’s bothering me? What exactly am I feeling? When did I feel like that before”? If the answer to that last question is, “All my life!” then that’s what you put into the prayer: “from a lifetime of emotional neglect.”

These questions will help you move forward in your healing journey.

And if you ever need more help, e.g. with finding hidden memories, just contact me at www.healingcodescoaching.com for some coaching.

 

 

 

How important is prayer to healing?

For me, prayer is an integral part of healing. I often say that for me, The Healing Codes are a combination of prayer, meditation, and therapy–with God as the Wonderful Counselor.

Also, I have found that people who have a strong relationship with God seem to heal faster and deeper than people who don’t.

Yet, one of my clients who is an avowed atheist is also healing–rather quickly, in fact. At least, he healed a “heart wall” that was (metaphorically) five feet thick in one week.

How can this be?

I do believe all healing comes from God. But, as I mentioned in another post about Jesus’ parable of the farmer planting a seed and it grows, “he knows not how,” so the God who “makes the sun to shine on the good and the evil” has put the principle of healing into every living creature. It is what is known as “common grace,” and is built into all living things.

That’s why The Healing Codes work for anyone, regardless of their beliefs. It’s very simple, really. Stress is what incapacitates the body’s immune system. The Healing Code removes stress from the body. Then the immune system can take over its God-given ability to heal almost anything.

The Healing Code does incorporate prayer. You can’t properly do a Healing Code without saying “the prayer of intention.” Even if you believe you’re asking the body itself to “find, open and heal all the negative images, beliefs, and cellular memories” that are the source of your issue, you are reaching beyond your conscious self and acknowledging there’s another intelligence at work here.

Personally, I believe you might as well pray and trust the Creator of the body rather than the body itself, but reality is what it is whether you believe it or not. I’ve noticed that, if you go against the grain of the universe, you’re bound to get splinters of some sort.

Me, I want to pray to the God That Is, whether I understand him fully or not (and no doubt I don’t, or I’d be on a par, wouldn’t I?). As I do, I find I understand just a little more.

And I heal of things I didn’t even know I had to heal. When the light shines, it exposes (and then heals) all sorts of things I never even knew were there…..

If you would like to find out more about spiritual perspectives on The Healing Codes and energy approaches, go here.

 

 

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I well remember the first week of October 2010: it was the most incredible week of my then 32-year career (the anniversary of which also came that week).
At the time I was still an editor and  publishing coach, just making the transition from that to being a Healing Codes Coach-Practitioner.
  • Three major goals I’d been working on for at least 5 years came were achieved–in the same week.
  • A client also had a major breakthrough (can’t talk about that yet).
  • A publisher scheduled a meeting to discuss a project I’d been dreaming of and working on for two years.
  • I conducted my most successful teleseminar yet (nearly 700 people on the call).
  • Many important new connections. Direction confirmed. More income. New clients.
  • Famous marketing expert Seth Godin and I spoke briefly and he gave me a nugget that was just the right word at the right time for me. (Thank you, Seth!)
  • And that’s the week I got certified as a Healing Codes Coach-Practitioner by Alex Loyd, author of The Healing Code.

I say this not to brag, but to encourage you.

That week was my “bamboo week,” the week the bamboo tree of my career shot up at least 20 feet. (In the fifth year, bamboo can grow up to 90 feet in its 60-day growth cycle.)

Or, another image I have, is that the seeds I had planted 2, 3, 5 years previously  grew up into a beautiful garden in one week.

I have been pondering why it happened, so that I can pass on some principles to you that will lead to a “bamboo week” for you, too.

First, realize that this was the culmination of years of work. Some of the goals that were achieved had been 5 years in the making. I had set the “rhizome system” in place and tirelessly did what it took to allow the bamboo to shoot up at the appointed time in the growth cycle.

Why, though,  did all this happen in one week?

I believe it’s because something in me became unblocked. I was able to identify and heal a major block to success that I didn’t even know I had.

Through my Healing Code work, I was able to apply the “Miracle Grow” fertilizer that made my garden spring up so quickly.

It never continues to amaze me that The Healing Codes actually do work, for any issue. I found the apparent source of my success block, and things I’d been trying to make happen, preparing the way to happen, all of  a sudden did happen. (I wish I could tell you all of what happened, but some of it is confidential.)

What does this mean for you?

1. Persevere. Success takes time. You need to do the work, consistently. Learn what to do, do it at a steady pace you can maintain.

2. If you’re not seeing results, do The Healing Code on your issue. If you’re unfamiliar with The Healing Code, go here to learn how to get started–for free! If you’re still blocked,  consider getting coaching from me for a custom healing code specifically for what might be blocking you. I can help you identify what the real issue is and give you a remedy to heal the source quickly and easily.  It will take a few minutes a day, a few times a day for you to apply this new healing mode to your life. You may well be amazed at the results.

A friend for whom I got a custom code recently called me to tell me that after doing the custom Healing Code just 3 times,  his block was gone. He launched a new venture this week and wanted to make sure nothing stood in the way.  Listen to his audio testimonial here.

Steve  called the day after he recorded that to tell me,  “I also noticed that my back and hip pain is gone for the first time in years!”

So, plant your garden. Use The Healing Code to get out the weeds and rocks so you have good soil in which to plant the seeds of your efforts. Cultivate your garden patiently, diligently so that the “rhizome system” can grow strong.  Keep watering it, fertilizing it, weeding your garden.

And let me know when you experience your own “bamboo week” so we can rejoice together.

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I have been gluten-free for a number of years, and I’m sure it’s been a good thing.

However, when listening to Dr. Alan Christianson’s talk on the Healing Power of Food Summit, I learned that there is on potential pitfall of going wheat or gluten-free.

Wheat contains a lot of what’s called “resistant starch,” which is the kind of food that feeds the good gut bacteria and leads to healthy digestion—and overall health. Scientists now know that our health is largely dependent on how diverse and healthy our gut microbiome is.

Cutting out wheat cuts out a main source of important resistant starch. But never fear! Dr. Christianson gave specific things to do to make up for the the lack.

1. Eat a variety of root vegetables. Root vegetables excel at providing resistant starch. “Buy all the root vegetables you can find in a grocery store, and eat at least one kind/day,” Dr. Christianson advised. Here is my recipe for roasted root veggies.

2. Eat at least one item from a “prebiotic foods” list every day. You can Google “list of prebiotic foods” and come up with a bunch, but here are some for starters that are readily available:

  • asparagas
  • onions and leeks
  • flax seeds, hemp seeds
  • garlic
  • apples
  • bananas
  • cocoa (yes!)
  • sweet potatoes
  • cabbage
  • berries
3. Stewed apples. When you cook apples a little, you release the pectin, which is a great prebiotic food apparently. Chop up about 4 apples, spoon-sized pieces, put them in a pot with a little water, and simmer for 5 minutes or so, until the skins get shiny. Add a little cinnamon, maybe some raisins, and you’ve got a great addition to breakfast! (I eat this along with an egg and my smoothie that has berries, flax seeds among other things, so I’ve got a great start to my day.)
I hope you can watch the Healing Power of Food Summit. Cutting edge science, enlightening, informative, empowering!

 

Have you ever had anyone say to you, “Why can’t you just get over it?” about something that upsets you?

You try to “just get over it” but … you find yourself mulling over it and over it, working it through from all angles. Other people may get exasperated with you. Now, on top of the original issue, the old “what’s wrong with me, that I just can’t move on like other people?” kicks in.

You can quit beating yourself up right now. (Please!) The answer lies in one of the key traits of High Sensitivity: depth of processing.

Highly Sensitive People process pain deeply. That’s how

we’re wired. Hence, we also must process the healing

deeply.

I believe that everyone must process the pain as deeply as they experienced it, if they’re to truly heal.

Those people who can quickly “move on” are those for whom the pain was not that deep in the first place, or they are what Milan and Kay Yerkovich in their How We Love book term Avoiders–people who developed a style of avoiding pain and emotions as a result of how they grew up.

It could well be the Avoiders who are telling you to “just get over it.”

Of course, one can truly fall into the trap of ruminating over a hurt and never getting anywhere toward healing from it. The difference is whether you are moving through the healing process.

That means being able to name your feelings, preferably in the presence of another person who has the capacity to listen and empathize, and not try to fix you. What you want to get to is the place where you can have compassion on yourself for having suffered this, but also perspective on how you have become wiser because of this incident/relationship/problem.

Take as long as you need in this process. If you can find another HSP who is able to listen and perhaps provide perspective, that’s ideal. But often even journaling by yourself can yield that enlarged perspective that you seek.

Then you won’t have to “just get over it.” You will be over it.

And if you need a little extra help along the way, I’m always available for a coaching session and a custom Healing Code. For notices when more articles on High Sensitivity are published, click here.

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