Author Archive
Two ways to speed your healing
Posted by: | CommentsHave you been trying to heal some issue, emotional or physical, and feel like you’re stuck, not getting anywhere?
I want to suggest two ways you can get unstuck and speed your healing.
First, though, let’s explore why you might feel stuck.
1. There may be some sort of hidden memory that is blocking you, often a generational memory. I remember when I healed a particular generational memory from my mother (which she also was working on healing for herself), suddenly a success block was removed and things I’d been working on for years came to fruition in one week!
I can find those hidden memories if you sign up for my Healing Hearts Circle; every call I test the members for hidden memories.
2. Your body may be prioritizing healing something else that you’re not even aware of. You may be intent on healing your skin or digestive issues, for instance, but your body knows you have cancer forming. It is allocating the healing energy toward the more serious issue that you don’t even know about.
3. You have trauma. If you have trauma, defined as your nervous system’s reaction to an event that was, at the time, overwhelming to your nervous system, it can be stored in your body and causing symptoms.
While I have found that The Healing Codes do a lot to pave the way to trauma healing, I’m beginning to think that you also need some kind of somatic (body-based) intervention. It’s not either-or; energy healing makes trauma healing approaches work better and faster, and trauma healing approaches make The Healing Codes work better. I’ve found in myself and many of my clients, that The Healing Code paves the way for your body, soul and mind to even begin to deal with the trauma of which you might not have been aware.
4. You’re focusing too much on the physical and not seeing the subtle shifts that are taking place. We can be so fixated on our particular goal, that we don’t see the ways we’re improving.
My mother comes to mind. I was giving her custom Healing Codes every week, and she didn’t see any changes. But I sure did. I’ll never forget the day when she started talking about all the fun she and her siblings had as a child, when they went to her uncle’s farm. I said, “Mom! Do you realize this is the first time you’re ever shared any happy memory from your childhood?”
“Oh really?” she said, then blithely went on to talk more about the happy memories.
We coaches call it “Healing Code amnesia.” We forget how far we’ve come when we’re so fixated on the final goal.
(As a side note, my mom had always said she didn’t have any childhood memories. As she healed with The Healing Codes, more and more memories came up. We healed the sad ones, and then the happy ones emerged. But she didn’t even notice! The happy memories came up so naturally after a while.)
The keys to getting unstuck arise out of the above sources of our stuckness.
First, trust that your body wants to heal. And that it knows how to heal. Built into the fabric of creation is this innate ability to heal, to rejuvenate. We see it in the seasons. We see it in our bodies: when you get a cut, you don’t have to do anything except clean it and give it a little more protection. Your body already knows how to heal it.
Not everyone believes in the body’s ability to heal. I wrote about the two views of the body: the mechanical view that body is a machine that falls apart after a while, versus the organic view, that the body is a living organism with intelligence, that always seeks life and health.
It matters which view you take. Believing the latter in my opinion sets you up to work with your body’s intention to heal. Believing you’re just a machine that is now falling apart may lead you away from what you really need, and even cause you to engage in practices that will actually harm you.
In my view, our human spirit is meant to be aligned with God’s holy Spirit, so that God’s life flows through our spirit (heart/central intelligence/connection to our unique Divine Design), to our body and soul. God’s flow of energy is always about life and healing.
The second thing you can do to speed your healing is to notice every small “win,” every slight improvement.
Sometimes other people will notice and comment before we see it in ourselves, as was the case with my mother. I have many clients who will tell me that their spouse remarks on the changes in them, changes they haven’t noticed themselves. So you might want to ask the people close to you what changes they have notices.
Then, celebrate the changes!
This taps into the principle of gratitude. Give thanks for even the smallest improvement. That will keep you focused in the direction of improvement, which will speed that improvement. Even if you want your skin issue to heal but what’s happening is you’re feeling less anxious most of the time—that could well be what was needed to actually heal the skin issue.
Focusing on the positives will also lessen the perception of the negative. They are opposite poles. If you’re stuck, you may be trying to go two feet in one direction (feeling the frustration of “no change,”), then two feet in the opposite direction (noticing some positive changes but then discounting it—two steps back in the other direction).
Isn’t that the very picture of “stuck”?
So to summarize: Trust your body, and look for and celebrate the wins, however small they may seem.
And be patient. Yes, we want to speed our healing, but ironically, the slow, patient, steady path is the fastest track. Another thing your wise body and spirit knows is the perfect pace for your healing. That’s why I say in my Healing Code prayer of intention, “Please magnify the effectiveness of this healing to the maximum level for my highest good, at an optimal pace.” We want all these things: magnified effectiveness, our highest good, and an optimal pace—not too fast, not too slow.
The spirit guiding the body knows how to optimize. Let’s work with it!
The Science of Prayer
Posted by: | CommentsDo you pray? Have you seen some pretty amazing answers to prayer?
I have. Prayer is a big part of my life. I’ve always known it works (though I don’t get everything exactly as I pray for), but the scientist in me always wondered if there is an explanation for how it works that’s outside of religion.
And perhaps there is. It’s all connected to the quantum field.
What’s the quantum field?
A quantum field is a theoretical concept that helps us understand how particles behave at the smallest scales in the universe. Imagine that the universe is like a giant, constantly shifting, vibrating fabric. This fabric is made up of tiny units of energy called particles (the threads, as it were), and each type of particle has its own unique energy field.
Quantum fields are the mathematical description of these energy fields, which fill all of space and time. They are constantly fluctuating and interacting with one another, creating particles that come into existence and then disappear again. It’s all about energy and information. What looks to be matter, is really energy vibrating at a low enough rate that we can perceive it with the senses.
The fascinating thing about these particles is that they do not exist in a definite state until they are observed or measured. Instead, they exist in a state of superposition, which means that they can be in multiple states at once.
This reminds me of some words that dropped into my mind out of nowhere one day: “All perspectives exist in the quantum field. Choose the perspective that leads to gratitude, joy, and peace.”
When we pray, we put out attention on a particular outcome, which already exists in the quantum field as a potentiality. Our very prayer (observation) allows that particle to “manifest” in the physical world.
Then there is the idea of quantum entanglement.
In quantum entanglement, two energy “particles” interact with each other, and there is a full download of information. They become “entangled,” so that each “particle” instantaneously possesses the same energy information as the other, and both experience the same state.
This is mentioned in The Healing Code, referencing an experiment where two strangers met briefly, then were put in Faraday cages (through which no outside electromagnetic energy can pass). The experimenters found that when they shined a light in the eyes of one of the men, the pupils of the other man constricted just as if the light were shining in his eyes at that moment, though he was in that Faraday cage some distance away and no light was actually being shined in his eyes.
That’s the thing about quantum entanglement: distance and time mean nothing. It appears to violate the laws of classical physics, which dictate that information cannot travel faster than the speed of light. In the case of entangled particles, information seems to be transmitted instantly, regardless of the distance between them.
Let’s translate all this to prayer. If God is the creator of this quantum field, and exists within and outside of it as well (I don’t think God is the quantum field itself, but he created it and sustains it), and everything is energy, we too are energy. We are electrical beings, and we can interact on many different levels both with each other, and with God.
Prayer is interaction on this non-physical, energetic level. We can get “entangled” with a certain desire that we present to God, uniting our intention with God’s, and that makes things happen in the physical world, which is just a certain manifestation of energy.
Of course, God always has veto power. He is in charge of what gets manifested: only that which is His sovereign will, governed by His love and infinite wisdom. (Thank God for that!)
We can also get “entangled” with another person and their need, and present that to God.
Important to note about prayer: it must be activated by a certain kind of energy, namely faith.
When Jesus healed on earth, he almost always linked it to faith: “Your faith has made you well.” The person believed that Jesus could heal, or at least that he might, and that was all that Jesus needed.
Remember the man who asked Jesus to heal his demonized son, and said to Jesus, “I believe; help my unbelief”? (Mark 9:24) Jesus said we only need faith the size of a mustard seed, the smallest of seeds, but if we plant it in the soil of God’s power, that’s enough to “move mountains.”
I love that science is now “explaining” things that were revealed thousands of years ago in religion. You don’t have to know how to build a highway to drive on it, but you do have to know a few rules of the highway to use it effectively and safely. We don’t need science to explain prayer in order to pray, but it’s wonderful to know that science supports what we already knew from spiritual teachings.
All truth is God’s truth, after all. True science always reveals something more of God’s ways.
If this topic interests you and you want to know more, I think you’ll really like the book, Quantum Glory: The Science of Heaven Invading Earth by Phil Mason. It presents the science of quantum physics in the light of Scripture. I kept having to put it down to take in the wonder of it all, and give thanks and praise to the Creator who set things up so amazingly.
Hidden Stressors-Part Four
Posted by: | CommentsIn this series on hidden stressors, I’ve mostly focused on the emotional aspects.
For many of us, this is the kind of stress that’s easiest to hide, especially if we’ve grown up with Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), or are high on the sensitivity spectrum.
Another reason I’ve focused on the emotional, is emotional issues can predispose us to being more vulnerable to yet another hidden source of stress: toxins.
All of us are subject to this hidden physical stress.
Toxins lurk in our food, water, air, cosmetics, household cleaners, even fabrics.
They also lurk in the energy around us, in the form of electromagnetic frequencies (EMF) and dirty electricity.
I don’t think I have to go into detail about all this. No doubt you’re aware of it, and may feel a little helpless about what to do about it all.
However, we are not helpless at all. There is one main thing we can do to keep healthy, and that is to focus on the immune and nervous systems.
We can do our best to eliminate the things that tax our immune and nervous systems, and add the things that support it.
We can eat organic, filter our water and air as best we can.
We can work on the emotional stressors that tax our nervous system, which in turn governs the immune system.
We can also use energy to our advantage.
I was listening to an interview with Dr. Gerald Smith on Energy Medicine, as part of the Immune Defense Summit from Health Means that I bought awhile ago.
What struck me is the essential truth that health is all about frequency.
Toxins emit low vibrations, and low vibrations lead to disease and dysfunction. High vibrations (found in real, healthful food, clean air and water, loving relationships, plants without pesticides, etc.) bring health and healing.
I was also fascinated by Mike Adams’s presentation where he captured the sounds of various substances–actually translated the frequencies of the elements of the Periodic Table into audible range. Check out the audio here. (4 minutes long)
This is key: When you replace low vibrations with high vibrations, the high vibrations cancel out the low vibrations.
It is a spiritual principle. “The light [high vibration] shines in the darkness [low vibration], and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5)
High vibration–love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, humility, self-control (nine of the categories of The Healing Codes, based on the biblical fruit of the Spirit), always conquer and cancel out the lower vibrations of hatred, depression, fear, impatience, unkindness etc.
And that is, I believe, why The Healing Codes work so well: you are deliberately replacing fear (low vibration) with love (high vibration), lies with truth.
By doing that, you are raising the overall vibration of your body, as well as changing the frequency of the information energy pattern (i.e. image, belief, or memory) in each cell, from low vibration to higher vibration.
That creates an overall positive effect wherein the body can heal itself.
I thought it was also interesting that Dr. Smith mentioned that praying over your food can actually change it. I wrote about that in my blog post, “Can Intention Change Matter?”
It also made me think about the HALO Light System–how the special frequency of the light, shining through the selected botanicals, picks up the energy and transmits it to the body. These high-vibration, healing botanicals have the ability to “overcome” the lower-vibration toxins (viruses, molds, bad bacteria, pesticides, etc.) on the cellular level, so that the cells can repair themselves.
There is much we can do to stay in a high vibration, which overcomes the lower vibration of hidden stressors like toxins, emotional inflammation, and trauma. (Go here to see my recommended list of products that either help mitigate the effects of toxins, or support the body’s natural healing mechanisms.) Prayer, Healing Codes, Halo, Holos (which scans your body and sends frequencies to balance it with healthy frequencies), and a new device I’ll be telling you about (contact me if you’re curious)–all these and more will support you in staying in higher vibrational frequencies.
And that, according to Einstein, is the key to true healing, true medicine. Einstein said, more than 100 years ago, that “Future medicine will be the medicine of frequencies.”
May it be so!
More on the Medicine of Frequencies
If you want to delve more into the “medicine of frequencies.” Children’s Health Defense published a couple of fascinating articles by Rob Verkerk Ph.D.
In Part One, he examines the intimate relationship between electromagnetism and life, who the pioneers of energy medicine are, why energy medicine did not take off as Einstein predicted, and much more.
In Part Two, Verkerk sifts through the rapidly emerging field of frequency-based medical devices. This gets pretty technical, but if this topic interests you, make time for a little education. I think you’ll be inspired and enriched by it, and also—you’ll feel much more confident that The Healing Codes and the other tools I mention here actually have a valid basis in an emerging area of science.
For a review of recommended products to mitigate the negative effects of toxins or support your body’s ability to handle them, click here.
Recommended Products to Mitigate Hidden Stressors
Posted by: | CommentsAs a wrap-up to my series on Hidden Stressors, I put together a list of things I use to either mitigate the effects of toxins, or support the immune system. Note that I am very picky about what I recommend. (Here’s my criteria.)
This list is not comprehensive, it’s just what I’ve used and found effective.
Also, in many cases I am an affiliate for said product, and will receive a commission if you buy from my links. (For which I thank you. It helps me to provide this newsletter and other resources for free.) You don’t pay more for using my links. Read More→
Hidden Stressors-Part Three
Posted by: | CommentsIn Part Two in this series on Hidden Stressors, I talked about trauma.
How there are no “little t” traumas. Traumas have to do with how the nervous system responded to an event that was overwhelming at the time. Some people, especially highly sensitive people, may have more finely-tuned nervous systems that take in more information—hence, may be more susceptible to trauma.
I just finished watching hours of the Trauma Superconference 3 that aired the replays recently. It made me realize that a lot of us are carrying around unhealed, even unknown trauma in our nervous systems.
These traumas may be triggered by the recent (and current) collective trauma of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Especially the trauma of unmet needs. Read More→
Hidden Stressors-Part Two
Posted by: | CommentsIn a previous post I wrote about how my symptoms were beginning to flare, and how I prayed and got some insights into why.
The first was that I wasn’t honoring my sensitive nature enough, i.e. that I have the inborn trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity: a nervous system that’s more finely tuned than 80% of the population. That makes me a Highly Sensitive Person.
The second insight was related to the first, but with more of an emphasis on recovery: Your nervous system needs to recover from the traumas you’ve been through.
I have known for a while now that Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) characterized my past, ever since I came across Dr. Jonice Webb’s excellent books, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships with Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children. (You can take the CEN questionnaire on my Free Tools page.)
I believed that I had overcome it all by now, between The Healing Codes and some therapy.
However, when my mother died and I had to deal with settling her estate with a co-executor (sister-in-law), I saw just what my family of origin really was like. A plethora of traumas revealed themselves—though a few years ago, I wouldn’t have thought of them as traumas.
That’s the thing—what our nervous system interprets as trauma might not be what our adult minds interpret as trauma.
And what one person’s nervous system interprets as trauma might be different from another person’s. Two people can go through the same event and for one, it’s a trauma, and for the other, it’s not.
It’s a physiological thing. The nervous system becomes dysregulated. It needs to be resolved by some sort of somatic therapy, or it can lead to autoimmune and other chronic illnesses.
Here’s a good video that describes how this works. Irene Lyon explains why there’s no difference, physiologically, between Trauma (the obvious “bad stuff”) and “little-t” trauma. She gives a case study of how this works with fibromyalgia, so if you have this, be sure to watch the video.
Note that CEN is trauma. CEN happens when you don’t get enough of the nurturing you needed. It’s also been called Type A trauma—the Absence of nurturing.
And it probably happens more often than not with Highly Sensitive People. Not only do HSPs need emotional attunement more than less sensitive people, not getting it also affects them more deeply.
There’s a term for this: differential susceptibility. It means the “bad” things affect you more deeply.
It also means, happily, that interventions such as The Healing Codes, somatic experiencing, and probably most any kind of natural therapies and remedies help HSPs more.
(There was even a study of teenage girls for a program helping them ward off depression. Only the HS girls were helped, to the extent that the study suggested they screen people for the HS trait and only work with them!)
Do The Healing Codes help with trauma? I’m sure they do. I’m convinced that without doing THC for so many years, I would not now be at the point where I can really get at the root of my traumas and heal them.
That’s the third part of the insight I was given: You are finally ready. If I hadn’t been doing The Healing Codes and Immanuel Prayer for all these years, I would not have gotten to the point where I can heal my deepest traumas. (The earliest of which happened when I was hospitalized for the first 7 weeks of my life, underwent major surgery, and got pneumonia.)
I had to grow my capacity to even face that I had all these traumas in my life. My body is telling me they’re not healed yet—but they are finally ready to be healed.
If you have unexplained, chronic physical symptoms, I encourage you to take the CEN and the Highly Sensitive assessments on my web page. Unhealed traumas are a huge hidden stress to your nervous system.
Awareness is always the first step in healing. If you’re afraid to become aware (I was; I was a master at avoidance of my feelings), use The Healing Codes to heal that first. Be gentle with yourself. Healing is a process, but remember this: We are wired to heal.
And: Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. They need to be acknowledged, welcomed, felt . . . and then they will heal.
Hidden Stressors-Part One
Posted by: | Comments“All your physical issues are from stress,” my doctor told me. They were the last words I would ever hear from her; she passed away shortly after.
But haven’t I been working on reducing stress for all these years with The Healing Codes?
The answer is yes. And they have helped tremendously. I honestly don’t think I’d even be alive now if I hadn’t been doing all I’ve done since I got my various diagnoses before The Healing Codes (osteoporosis, IBS, GERD, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, PTSD).
The Healing Codes, Halo, the c.Balance (now upgraded to the HOLOS) have all helped me not be hampered much in my daily life by these diagnosed conditions.
Now, however, the symptoms started popping up again, worsening. Why?
As always, I prayed for insight into this. Were there hidden stressors of which I wasn’t aware?
What came up surprised me.
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You haven’t been honoring your Highly Sensitive nature enough.
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Your nervous system needs to recover from the traumas you’ve been through.
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You are finally ready.
Part One: The High Sensitivity Piece
I’ve known for a while that I have this trait around 20% of all species share, in which the nervous system is wired differently. Dr. Elaine Aron explains in her ground-breaking book, The Highly Sensitive Person, which put this trait on the psychological map, that HSPs are like a different breed. Great Danes and border collies are both clearly dogs, but they are quite different. So, too, HSPs and non-HSPs are human, but they are actually quite different in many ways.
(Find out more about whether you’re a Highly Sensitive Person here.)
Maybe for you, sensitivity isn’t the issue. Maybe it’s some other kind of “diversity” that is part of your nature that you’ve not been honoring.
Maybe it’s that you’re an introvert who gets energy from reflection and alone time, and you’ve always been pushed to be more outgoing. Or vice versa. Maybe it’s that you have ADD/ADHD and your brain works differently than others.
Whatever it is that may set you apart a little, so that you tend to push it away rather than honor it, could be a hidden stressor for you.
I’ve known about being Highly Sensitive, but I haven’t been living it.
I hadn’t been honoring my need to process things deeply and thoroughly, for one. The last few years have been particularly stressful for me. On top of all the stress of the pandemic (and HSPs, by the way, are more susceptible to Emotional Inflammation), there were several personal traumas: dealing with a mold issue in the home; settling my sister-in-law’s estate out of state and fending off a crook; breaking my foot; 16 months of hell settling my mother’s estate (with all the family of origin issues that brought up); and a devastating diagnosis of a close family member.
If you’re Highly Sensitive, you need to realize that such stresses affect you more deeply than other people. You take in more information than most people. You are more sensitive to subtle stimuli than most people. And then you absolutely need to process all that you are taking in!
I’ve written about my current focus on subtraction. As a HSP, I need to be aware of (and limit as much as possible) the amount of information that’s coming to me. More information = more needed processing time. When life piles up, and I don’t get that processing time, my symptoms seem to flare.
So ways I’m trying to honor my HS nature more is to limit the amount of information I take in, and then making time to process it completely.
This often means saying no to social engagements, no matter how enticing they seem. I have to stand strong when someone tells me why it would be so good to attend X. (Ever notice how many people think they know what’s right for you? Often, what’s right for “most people” isn’t right for an HSP.)
I’m also the kind of HSP who seeks a lot of mental stimulation and loves to learn. I need to resist the temptation to sign up for yet one more masterclass or telesummit. I have to revisit my own goals often and tell myself, “My commitment to (my goal) is more important than this (distraction) right now.”
Honoring my HS nervous system also means changing my environment. I’m finding that clutter really gets to me these days. I subtract as much from my environment as I can. Someone said every object in your home has a “to-do list” or a message attached to it. So true!
- The pile of papers cries out, “Pay me, file me, check me for sales!”
- The unused clothes in your closet castigate you: “When will you lose weight so that beautiful outfit will fit you again?”
- The old computer monitor in the spare room? You might need it someday, if you current monitor goes out.
- And what about the files and photos on your phone or computer? Shouldn’t those be organized so you can find them more easily?
Guilt, anxiety, feeling like you’re “not enough” or not doing enough creep in with these messages. If you’re HS, not only do you feel those things—you also feel them more intensely!
Perhaps these things don’t overwhelm you like they do me. But if they do, know that doing even a little clutter control every day will help you feel calmer and more organized.
I need the downtime to process. I need more sleep than I’m getting. I need to allow myself to feel. I need to be aware that I take in a lot of information and to do what I can to both limit it and manage it.
I need to honor my sensitive nature. Without, I might add, feeling guilty or “less than” because of these needs.
If you have seen a flare up of symptoms you thought you had healed, know you’re not alone. Many of my clients and friends are also experiencing this. Whether you’re Highly Sensitive or not, there are likely hidden stressors that are chipping away at your resilience.
Do what you can to identify those stressors, and heal what you can.
In future posts I will explore more about hidden stressors: how to identify them, what to do about them. Including hidden traumas—the second piece of the insight that was given me.
Stay tuned!
Two Quick Relationship Turnaround Tips
Posted by: | CommentsIf any of your relationships need a bit of reviving, here are two things I learned from one of my mentors that I’m finding super helpful.
1. Every day, think of something you like about the other person. You don’t have to say it out loud, but bonus points if you do mention it, as appropriate. Even just thinking of that positive thing can shift how you you act toward them.
2. Become aware of how you greet him or her. Do you acknowledge the person’s presence with a smile, a friendly “good morning!” or a hug or kiss (depending on the relationship, of course!).
Did you know that there are “joy centers” in our brain that literally light up (if you were being scanned) when someone is happy to see you, happy to be with you? Light up your loved one’s brain with joy, and see what a difference it makes in your relationship.
Let me know what happens! Comment below. And pass this link on to anyone it might help.
And if you would like some coaching to improve your relationships, check out the options here.
Try This (Different) Kind of “Diet”
Posted by: | CommentsI have set this, my sixty-sixth year, as “the year to fix and nix” and 2023 as “the year to be free of all that’s not me.
One of the things I’m “fixing and nixing” is my thought life.
Many people at this time of year go on a diet. Or they resolve to work out, “get in shape.”
I propose a different kind of “diet,” a different way to “get in shape.”
It’s a “thought diet,” an idea inspired by Dr. Natali, Edmonds, who coaches what she calls Careblazers—people who are taking care of a loved one with dementia. (If you’re in this situation, check out her Youtube videos.)
Imagine your thoughts are like items on a giant buffet. Everything you believe, the habitual thought patterns, are spread out before you.
As you go through the buffet line, you get to choose what thoughts you want to “put on your plate” to “take in.”
I think a lot of us don’t realize that we get to choose how we feel, by choosing our thoughts.
The formula, which every child should be taught but few have parents who know this themselves, is that our thoughts determine our feelings, and our feelings determine our behaviors. Behaviors then tend to reinforce the thoughts, which get cemented into beliefs, and then the feelings are hard-wired into our bodies, until we find ourselves caught up in patterns we don’t feel we can control.
But we can. We do it by becoming aware of our thoughts, and, like going through the buffet line, we choose which thoughts we desire to think that will lead to the feelings we want to feel.
Here’s the kicker, for me at least: Just because a thought is true, doesn’t mean you have to hang onto it.
You can still look for a different thought, which can be just as true, but will lead to feeling better.
Here’s an example.
Let’s say you asked your spouse to take out the trash. It’s now 10pm the night before trash pickup day. He still hasn’t taken out the trash. In fact, he’s gone to bed already!
Thoughts: He never does what I ask him to. He just ignores me. Now I have to do it, on top of everything else I’ve done today. I’m just as tired as he is. But I always end up picking up his slack. I’ve had it.
What do these thoughts make you feel? Irritated, resentful, perhaps even unloved. Unheard, uncared for. Angry!
The incident may have triggered earlier feelings from unhealed memories of being ignored, unappreciated, not heard. (Those are the memories you would want to address with a Healing Code, so that you can more easily do the next step.)
Can you stop in that moment of fatigue and irritation, and notice your thoughts and feelings? And then ask yourself, “What would I like to feel now instead?”
Perhaps you want to feel compassion—for yourself and your spouse. Compassion is so healing, and is one of my go-to feelings. You might choose thoughts like, “I’ve had a hard day, and he has too. We’re both exhausted. When I’m tired, I forget things, too. I’ll just take out the trash and be done with it, and tell him tomorrow that I would really appreciate it if he would take out the trash earlier in the evening next week.”
Do you see how much energy you can save by choosing different thoughts and therefore creating different feelings for yourself?
The first step is to tune in and notice. Notice how you’re feeling, and what thoughts are fueling those feelings.
Then, picture yourself at that thought buffet. The current thoughts are spread out. You don’t have to put them on your plate! Think about how you want to feel, and look for the thoughts that would lead to those feelings.
Don’t beat yourself up for the negative thoughts and feelings. You are human. Those thoughts and feelings are real. But again, just because they’re real, and perhaps even true, doesn’t mean you have to keep them. You don’t have to put everything on that buffet table onto your plate. (Imagine if you tried!)
Remember always: You get to choose.
If you haven’t yet chosen your “new energy intention” yet, perhaps it can be “I get to choose.” Or simply, “Notice!” Like my “calm focus” reminder, it could help you make the changes you desire, with less friction and effort.
And if you want to learn techniques for healing and transformation that make this kind of suggestion easier to do, send me email (diane at healingcodescoaching.com). I’ll send you information on my new Align with Your Divine Design(TM) program to guide your discovery of your unique purpose, with brand-new, science-backed tools to rewire your nervous system and heal the blocks that keep you from expressing that purpose.