Author Archive

Do you get as tired as I do of the endless marketing that assaults us at every turn?

Don’t get me wrong. Honest marketing and advertising, where someone tells you honestly about the real benefits of a great product they believe in, and allows you to make your own informed decision–I’m all for that. After all, it’s what I do myself.

I’m talking about the advertising that is manipulative. That plays on your insecurities.

The kind that’s all about money. Feeling good in the moment. Power.

Of course, what those advertisers want us to believe is that we will get these things if we buy their products. The real underlying message is, “You need something from outside you to make you feel good.”

That sure doesn’t sound like we’re very free. We’re dependent on other things, outside of us, that we can’t really control, to make us feel significant, valued, secure.

I don’t buy it!

My identity and security IS tied to something

outside myself, but it’s not a “thing.” Read More→

Several people responded to my article on anger, in which I mentioned the soul and spirit, asking the question, “What’s the difference between the two?”

I responded in the Comments for that post, but thought I’d make it more visible here.

Some people don’t distinguish between spirit and soul, but Arthur Burk makes some useful distinctions, based on 1 Thessalonians 5:23: “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The soul is the mind, will, and (conscious) emotions, and is somewhat tied to the physical. So, for instance, the soul develops as the brain develops. We can help the soul grow by developing better thinking habits.

Soul memories may be more tied to brain development. These kind of memories can often, I believe, be healed through traditional psychological interventions, such as cognitive therapy. The soul is important. But the soul and body both are actually quickened by the spirit.

The human spirit is the completely non-physical part of us, and I believe starts at conception (if not before, with God; not sure how that works). The spirit has memory and feeling (deeper than emotions). The spirit memories are, I believe, what science now calls “cellular memories.” That is why one can have a “cellular memory” from the time in the womb.

Notice that in the scripture above, the order is “spirit, soul, and body.” Spirit comes first. That is why Arthur Burk can report such great results when mothers and fathers start blessing their baby’s spirit in the womb. Arthur says it gives the babies about a 10-month lead, because the “soul” doesn’t start to develop until the myelin sheath in the brain develops to a certain point. But the spirit records everything in every cell (cellular memory), and the spirit also, I believe, interacts with both soul and body.

My schematic is that the human spirit is meant to be connected to God’s Spirit, and then the human spirit is supposed to control both body and soul.

That is why, when you heal the wounds of the spirit–“heart issues”–everything improves. Physical health improves because the spirit is able to instruct the body how to heal, and the blocks to healing have been removed. The soul heals because the spirit is informing and infusing emotions and thought patterns with truth and love.  Thus relationships and one’s ability to succeed improve.

And that’s why, when you heal your spirit/heart matters with something like The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer, everything else improves.

Always focus on healing the spirit and getting it in right relationship with the Source of all life. Everything else just seems to flow from that. God’s Spirit, connected with your spirit, flowing life and love to body and soul. . . .

Aug
07

Is Anger Always Bad?

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Do you ever struggle with anger issues?

Some people believe that anger is always bad. I’ve heard one teacher say, “Anger is a sign that you have a wrong goal.”

Well, maybe. Sometimes. But I think anger is more like a light on the car dashboard, signaling that something is wrong.

When you are abused in some way–and it can be overt or covert, subtle or blatant–I believe you are wired to get angry about it.

The problem is, when you’re a child and someone abuses you, you have no frame of reference for knowing that this thing that was done to you was bad.

No frame of reference, except that part of your human spirit that makes you angry. I believe God built something into us that tells us when something is not right.

And it’s in our spirit, not our soul. It’s an internal “lie detector” which we can actually access now. (That’s what muscle testing does: helps us feel inside our bodies what our spirit senses is true or false, good or bad for us.)

Arthur Burk, who has done much study and teaching about both the human spirit and ministering to babies in the womb, tells of a horrifying yet fascinating experiment an obstetrician conducted on his pregnant patients.

While doing an ultrasound, the doctor would speak thus to the mother, in quiet, soothing tones, “I’m very sorry, but your baby’s heart is not beating. Your baby has died in your womb.”

That was a lie. The mother didn’t know it–but the baby did! It would start kicking the mother, as if to say, “He’s a liar. I’m very much alive.”

The baby’s brain and body were not developed enough to understand what the doctor was saying. But the baby’s spirit knew–and responded! I suspect that was an angry kick! The baby’s spirit picked up on the energy of the lie, because the human spirit operates on the level of energy.

Which brings me to another thing about anger: it’s an energy.

Using the Energy of Anger–Constructively

Anger carries energy. That energy often works against you. You lash out and harm a relationship, or you repress it and it goes inward and morphs into depression or addiction.

Anger is a very strong energy, and it needs to be channeled correctly.

When it’s unresolved, it can grow into bitterness. That’s the real problem–not the anger, but the bitterness and broken relationships that can come afterward.

So is anger something you should try to heal?

Go Deeper

Often I find anger is not the primary issue. I go deeper.

Is the anger really masked hurt? (This is often the case with men in particular, or when negative emotions were not allowed in one’s family.)

Has the anger turned to bitterness? Then the bitterness needs to be addressed.

Often the anger needs to be acknowledged as legitimate, and that in itself can be healing. When someone gets sad and angry on your behalf because of the abuse you experienced, that may be just the validation and comfort you need to start to heal the trauma and move on. (See my article on trauma.)

So when you’re angry, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. Is there an underlying pain of hurt and sadness to address? Has it led to bitterness, or harmful actions such as addictions that mask the pain? Address those.

Let anger be the caution light on your dashboard, alerting you that something is wrong. Heal the underlying issue.

And then use the energy of that anger to spark you to make positive changes.

And if you need help in identifying the underlying issues, I’m here to help you with some great tools that speed and deepen healing. Go to https://HealingCodesCoaching.com to find out more.

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Jul
27

Preventing Traumatic Memories for Others

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In my last post, I wrote about how to prevent a painful event from becoming a trauma–for yourself. 

Now I’d like to share a story that beautifully illustrates how, through simple acts of kindness, we can prevent an event from becoming a trauma for others.

This comes from Cheryl Richards’s newsletter, dated July 1, 2018. Cheryl is the author of several books, her latest being Waking Up in Winter: In Search of What Really Matters at Midlife. Here is what she wrote.

It happened in an eat-in-the-rough restaurant in Bar Harbor, Maine. My friend Melissa and I had just ordered our meal when a boy walked into the room balancing a large tray on his shoulder. It was covered with several plates of food.

A family of five behind us was about to get their dinner.

As the boy stooped down to slide the tray onto the serving stand, a heaping plate of onion rings shifted and the whole tray went crashing to the floor.

Everyone in the restaurant stopped eating.

The family of five turned in their seats and gazed down at the onion rings, french fries and fried clams that were strewn all over the deck.

The boy stood in the middle of the mess, looking stunned and embarrassed.

That’s when it happened.…

A waiter came rushing into the room – a young man who looked to be in his late twenties. He stopped at the entrance when he saw the food scattered about the young man’s feet. We all took a collective breath as we anticipated his next move.

He stood quietly for a few seconds assessing the damage, then knelt down and started cleaning up the mess.

“It’s okay,” he said in a calm, loving voice as he scraped food off the floor. “It happens to all of us.”

The frightened boy slowly leaned down next to him to help pick up the plates.

“Please don’t feel bad,” the waiter continued as he playfully tousled the boy’s hair. “We all make mistakes. You’ll forget about this in no time.”

Melissa and I looked at each other, tears brimming in our eyes. A hushed silence filled the room. The waiter’s kindness was palpable. I’m sure everyone in the restaurant felt it.

Now there’s a model for how to be a good human being, I said to Melissa as we resumed eating our meal.

A beautiful lesson in choosing kindness under pressure.

I think about kindness and compassion a lot these days.  With so much divisiveness here in the U.S., I remind myself of how important it is to contribute something good and helpful and healing to others.

I also think about that young man at the restaurant and the example he set of grace under pressure, his impulse for choosing kindness over reaction and drama.

You never know when life’s going to present you with a teacher, do you?  That young waiter gives me hope for our future.

Thanks, Cheryl. You have given us a powerful picture not only of kindness in action, but of how to prevent a traumatic memory in another person. That young waiter who made the mistake will now have a memory of grace and kindness, rather than a memory of humiliation and failure, for the rest of his life. And so will the others who witnessed this scene, and who read these words….

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Does every painful event that happens to us inevitably become a trauma?

The good news is: NO!

To understand how this can be–and more importantly, to prevent a life event from becoming a trauma–you need to understand why and how  something becomes a trauma.

Trauma and UDINS

I’ve written before about life events that become traumatic because they are UDINs: Unexpected, Dramatic, Isolating, and having No resources, recourse, or solutions.

These four elements are what make something traumatic.

Notice that one and a half of the elements of a UDIN are unpreventable.

You can’t control when some crisis will happen, or how.

You can’t control how bad it will be (half of the Dramatic element).

That’s the one and a half you can’t control.

What you can control of the Dramatic part, though, to at least some degree, is how it will affect you.

And you can control whether you will let it Isolate you, and whether you will believe that there are No solutions or resources.

According to Dr. Karl Lehman, there is a pain pathway in the brain that needs to be traveled all the way through in order for a painful event not to become a trauma. If we can go all the way through the pain processing pathway, we “metabolize” the experience and it does not become a trauma that can then get triggered again and again, and cause all kinds of physical, emotional, or relational problems.

The main reason a painful event becomes traumatic is that we feel alone in it. Relationship has been withdrawn. We become disconnected.

Dr. Lehman explains that “because we live with brains that configure all our reality and experiences in relational terms, we must learn to stay relational in the presence of our pain.”

How do we do that?

Staying Relational in the Pain

Many of us grew up in families that themselves never learned this. When they or we were in pain, it led to withdrawal. The “relational circuits” in the brain (RCs) were switched off. If this happened in our experience, we may come to believe that when we’re in pain, love is going to be withdrawn. Thus we turn off to the pain, or we go off by ourselves to try to deal with it.

Which, if we’re to believe the brain science experts, never works.

So how do we stay relational in the pain, so we can actually process it and not let it become a trauma?

Look for Someone Who Knows How to Be With You in Pain

It can be difficult to reach out to someone when you are in pain, because not everyone will know how to deal with it. Most people will instinctively try to make you feel better, make the pain go away. You may instinctively turn to something to make you feel better, make the pain go away.

The only way out of the pain, is through it. Preferably with someone else.

If you know someone with whom you feel safe, you can kind of coach them along as to how they can help you.

Approach them at a time when you both can talk. Ask them if they would be willing to just listen to you and reflect back how you’re feeling without attempting to change anything.

Note: That someone can be God. God is always with us, and if you believe his Word, he has promised 14 times never to leave you or forsake you. You can journal or pray your way through the sequence below. (For more help with this, I suggest the book, The Joyful Journey: Listening to ImmanuelYou can also contact me for some Healing Codes. This is a big part of what I do in my Healing Codes Coaching work.)

Let’s say you just lost someone dear to you, and are feeling great grief.

The VCR of Relief

Here the three steps to working through the pain. Again, ideally you will do this in the presence of someone who has the capacity to be with you in this process.

  1. Validation: name the feeling and/or belief you have as a result of the event. “I miss my friend so much. She was like  a mom to me. Who will I go to now when I need the wise, down-to-earth advice she always knew how to give? I have lost so much, so unexpectedly….”

If you’re processing something with someone and they reflect back your words to you with empathy,  you will feel validated and understood. The first step is to stay connected with the experience rather than try to escape or minimize it. Doing this with another person removes the Isolating factor.

2. Comfort: Look for the origin of the negative feeling or belief attached to the event. You may be upset by the event itself, but it may also be triggering an unhealed memory from the past. You may or may not remember what that is, but naming the origin of it as best you know can be helpful.

“This sounds silly, but it reminds me of the time my father accidentally killed my cat when I was young. I used to tell my cat my problems, and I never felt she judged me.” So now we’re dealing with more than losing the friend; we’re dealing with an unhealed memory from the past, that amplifies the pain in the current memory. Just realizing this can be comforting. It can help you begin to make sense out of the pain. “Oh, this is not just about this incident.” (And you will want to address both incidents with The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer.)

Or maybe it is just about this incident, because in itself it’s so huge.  “I’ve never lost someone this close to me before. I don’t know how to handle it.” Understanding the level of intensity of the emotion is also part of comfort.

3. Repatterning, or Returning to Joy.  When the first two things have happened–validation and comfort–you are then open to new perspectives on the situation.  A skilled listener will know just how to help you come to the new perspective yourself, rather than trying to give advice, fix you or make the pain go away. This is where you realize you are not without resources, thus eliminating the N-No recourse or resources–of the UDIN.

The last step in the Pain Processing Pathway is finding meaning in the experience, so that it leads to wisdom and maturity.

This process can take time, or it can be fairly quick, depending on the intensity and scope of the painful event. But when you deliberately reject Isolation and seek help from someone who can Validate, Comfort, and help you Return to Joy, you need not fear that the event will become a trauma that you never get over. You will emerge stronger, wiser and more mature.

If you would like some personalized help in healing your trauma, please check out my custom Healing Codes Coaching.  I have wonderful tools for helping you process such pain successfully–and permanently. And I can be that validating presence that will help you get through the trauma to the other side, where wisdom and peace reside.

 

Are you a person who is very spiritual by nature but you feel like you have to keep that part of you separate from your business success?
Most likely that’s because you are what Business Miracles Mentor, Heather Dominick, refers to as a Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur. Not sure what that is? You can take the Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur quiz here.
You can also join Heather this Wednesday in a webinar class that will address the things that can trip you up in business.

 

I find Heather inspiring, refreshing, and encouraging. She has helped me to gain confidence that, as she says, HSEs are uniquely positioned to help other people if we can learn to go with our HS strengths and not get snagged by the things that can trip us up….
Things like:
  • what to do when you feel overwhelmed so it doesn’t stop you in your tracks
  • what you need to prioritize during your business day (so it feels good, gets done and generates income)
  • who you need to speak to in order to attract your ideal clients (and how it doesn’t need to feel all intimidating)
Reserve your seat here (even if you can’t make the live class, as there may be a recording).
Heather says that for Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs it can be tempting, when it all feels too much, to shut down, contract and try to protect yourself at all costs (or go into chaotic, panic, road runner mode). When what’s actually happening is you are receiving a call to OPEN UP, not give up.
It’s an opportunity to consider the possibility that there might be another way.
That’s exactly what she’ll be teaching you on this LIVE webinar class and it’s FREE. Click here to register.
2018 is calling for Business Miracles!
Comments (0)
Question about using The Healing Codes:

 I have no trouble identifying an emotional issue, however I can’t always link the feeling to a specific memory.  Is it OK to do the Healing Code on the emotional issue alone?”

You do not absolutely need to link the emotion to a specific early memory. Your heart will find and heal the issues that need to be healed.

That said, I will add that if you can find an early memory, it seems to speed healing. The more specific you can be with The Healing Code, the quicker the healing seems to happen. (That’s why custom codes are so powerful; they are specific to your particular issue. ) But you never want  to force anything with The Healing Code; that’s counter-productive.

At the beginning of your Healing Code session, give yourself a moment for any memories to surface. If they don’t, do the Code on the current emotional issue. As you work with The Healing Code and heal, you may find it easier to access the earlier memories.

Your heart may be protecting you from remembering early memories. Many of my clients also find that after working with The Healing Codes for a time, memories that have healed come to the surface. If there’s no emotional charge on that memory, then it usually means it’s healed. One of the wonderful benefits of The Healing Code is you “get your life back” as these healed memories surface.

One client had a very key early memory with several negative elements that needed to be healed. Interestingly, once the negative parts of the memory healed, it became a very positive memory–one she even started using for her “love picture”!

That’s all The Healing Code does, by the way: heals the negative aspects of the pictures and feelings. Yet when that happens, as the book explains, many amazing things can happen.

For more on how to get the most out of The Healing Codes, sign up for the free course, “Getting Started with The Healing Codes,” sent via email.

I began doing The Healing Codes in June 2007, and by the summer of 2015 I wrote a blog about my healing journey to that date. Here’s what I wrote, and then you’ll get an update at the end.

This summer marked 8 years of my doing Healing Codes, and I thought I’d give you an idea of what kinds of healing I’ve experienced over those 8 years.

I do Healing Codes every day, rarely skipping a day (because I feel it when I do), usually at least twice daily.

All I had back in 2007 was The Healing Codes Manual, which I waited several years to get from the time I had first heard about The Healing Codes. All that was available then was the $700 package.

When I started doing The Healing Codes, I was on medications for asthma, allergies, thyroid, hormone replacement, and another condition I’d rather not name.

I started working through The Twelve Categories (unforgiveness, harmful actions, unhealthy beliefs, love, joy, peace, etc.–see chapter 11 of The Healing Code, or the Heart Issues Finder.) When I got to the Peace category, I had a major “healing response.” I didn’t know it at the time; I thought it was food poisoning. I didn’t have a coach.

Three months after that, I had a TIA, or mini-stroke. I recovered completely, but the tests showed the TIA was caused by a PFO (hole in the heart), so I was enrolled in a clinical trial. The details of that story can be seen on my video, but the upshot was that apparently The Healing Codes had closed up the hole. I was taken off all blood thinners within a few months.

In that first year, all kinds of physical things appeared, then disappeared without treatment: ovarian cysts, breast lumps, worsened allergy symptoms, and probably other things I can’t remember. I was always running to the doctor for this and that, until I learned more about how this energy medicine worked. Once I understood that these physical manifestations could be signs of healing, not disease, I started to wait awhile to see if things would resolve. They did.

So what kind of healing have I experienced over these years?

Read More→

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May
08

What Does It Mean to be Highly Sensitive?

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Have you felt misunderstood much if not all all of your life, and/or like you didn’t fit in?

Do you feel you have a more finely -tuned nervous system than most people?

If so, you might be part of the 15-20% of the population with the trait of being Highly Sensitive.

Understanding what this means may well provide the missing piece to understanding yourself that can make all the difference–in your health, your relationships, your own sense of self.

So what does it mean to be “Highly Sensitive”? Read More→

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Here’s a totally different view of symptoms than I’ve ever heard.

If it’s accurate, it turns everything about the way we think of illness and disease on its head.

Most of all, it gives great hope to anyone who has been diagnosed with a disease or condition.

This comes from an interview with Dr. Craig Weiner from the Autoimmune Vitality conference. (Part 1 has ended, but you can still sign up for Part 2, which starts on May 21.)   I highly recommend listening to him–or getting the whole series, which has been fantastic.

(At least it’s really helping me, since I’ve been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. My condition got out of whack when the A-V vial in my HALO went bad, and I didn’t realize it. Now that I’m using a good vial, I can tell my system is rebalancing.)

Dr. Weiner is, among other things, a Level 2 META-Health Practitioner certified through the International META-Medicine Association, IMMA.

I’d never heard of META-Health before, but it’s totally compatible with the the philosophy behind The Healing Codes:

  • Your body/mind is highly intelligent.
  • Specific stress trigger, emotions and beliefs affect your specific organ tissues.
  • Healing goes through specific points and phases.

This latter point is what I want to tell you about.

According to META-Health, healing goes through specific points, levels and phases. You start with the natural state of the body: health, with normal day activity and night relaxation.

Then perhaps some kind of stress trigger happens, such as a trauma or a UDIN (Unexpected, Dramatic, Isolating, No Resources/Solution type incident). The trigger can also be a conditioned reflex based on some inherited trauma in cellular memory (what we call “hidden memories,” which could be in utero, generational, a birth trauma and very early memories that are recorded in the cell’s information energy pattern).

When this happens, you move into the Stress Phase, where the Sympathetic Nervous system (fight/flight/freeze) becomes dominant, and there is some kind of conflict (often internal and unconscious).

Here’s the interesting part. If you introduce some kind of Regeneration Trigger, such as The Healing Codes or some intervention that truly addresses the situation at its core, you can move into Regeneration Phase A. Here the “stress” is passive, your Parasympathetic Nervous System (rest and repair) system becomes dominant.

Here’s the kicker, though: This Regeneration Phase A is when the symptoms can show up!

And in fact, they may get even worse. In META-Health they call this the Healing Peak. (Healing Codes jargon calls it a Healing Response.) You may feel like you’re getting worse, but you’re actually getting better!

In fact, the next phase is Regeneration Phase B, where the PNS is again dominant, and excretion–getting rid of the problem–actually happens.

Phase 8 is the Return to Health, in which your system is auto-regulating and organ function becomes normalized. This often happens in waves, by the way. It’s not a steady, even process.

Which leads finally to the last stage: the Return to Health and normal day activity and night relaxation. You have plenty of energy in the day, and you sleep well and get restored at night.

So in this system, as with The Healing Codes, we’re always looking for that original stressor–that trauma, that Original Event that caused the brain to register a stress response. When we address that, the body begins to move toward health, and as it does so, physical things come up.

We think we’re getting sick, but we’re really getting better at the point when the symptoms show up.

A fever is a good example. When some infectious agent enters the body, the body responds with a fever to raise the temperature to kill off the attacker. You think you’re sick, and maybe take some aspirin or ibuprofen, but that actually blocks what the body is trying to do.

If we can respect the body’s wisdom, find and address the root cause (the trauma or trigger), we begin this regeneration process.

Isn’t that wonderful news? Doesn’t that give you great hope? When the symptoms show up–that’s when your healing has started!

It does take a big paradigm shift, though, for many people.

All I can say is, “Try thinking this way.” Try going for the original trauma by asking, as we counsel with The Healing Codes, “How do I feel about this condition?” Then trace that feeling back to other times you felt this way (about anything), and use The Healing Codes and prayer to heal that negative memory, image, or belief.

META Health, the New German Medicine, functional medicine, energy medicine–all these approaches seek to find and heal the original cause, rather than try to make symptoms disappear.

Will you trust your body’s and your heart’s innate intelligence, and look to heal the SOURCE of whatever bothers you? I hope you will.

And if you need some help with this, I suggest you sign up for the free “Getting Started with The Healing Codes” and visit my site at https://healingcodescoaching.com to find out more. For more personalized help, consider getting a Custom Healing Code and coaching to find those “original events.”

 

 

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