Archive for Healing Codes Coaching
What Would It Be Like to Never Feel Guilty?
Posted by: | CommentsHeather Dominick, mentor to Highly Sensitive Leaders, is teaching “Weekly Activation calls” on A Course in Miracles, and I’d like to share something that spoke to me from a recent call.
(While I’m not sure what I think of A Course in Miracles itself, I do like the way Heather gleans very practical principles from it and applies it to being Highly Sensitive. I also like the Course’s definition of miracle: “a shift in perception.”)
The Miracle she taught on that so struck me was #30, about guilt. She talked about how so often, guilt is used as a means to control. How many times has someone tried to guilt you into doing what they wanted?
So I asked her: How do you handle it when someone does this—they try to guilt you into something that isn’t right for you? (A situation I was currently experiencing.)
Heather asked me, “What do you usually do?”
I admitted that I usually want to be gracious, so often I give in. (In my case, the person was using all kinds of things, from “we’re family after all” to “A good Christian would….” The latter especially tended to hook me.)
Heather then helped me to see that being gracious does not mean giving in. I could trust that I can handle conflict from a place of grace, which doesn’t mean saying yes out of obligation. It means that I can fully accept that other people have feelings and viewpoints of their own, and they may not like mine, but I can come from a place of “both/and”– which is grace.
“Grace in not an act, but a way of acting,” she said. With grace, I can consider “you and me,” rather than “you or me.”
Coming from a place of “you or me,” someone has to lose, someone has to give in. I was thinking that giving in was somehow grace, but it would be an act. Approaching the situation with grace means I can approach the other person from a “both/and” place. I can access the words that communicate what I need, acknowledge what the other person needs, and be OK with the differing needs being at odds. If I’m in alignment with my own deepest values, I can stand firm, and trust that the other person will be able to take care of themselves.
And if they can’t—if they try to draw me into the Dreaded Drama Triangle of Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer, I can refuse to be pulled into that triangle. So often when people use guilt tactics, they try to pull you into one of more of these roles.
The Most Important Thing You Can Do for Yourself
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve been doing something for the past 25-30 years, and I’m just now realizing that it’s the most important thing I do, and the subsequent skill developed is the most important skill I’ve cultivated.
It’s been responsible for any success I can claim, any effectiveness and even joy I experience.
The practice is spending time every day when I tune in to my innermost self, and to God (not exactly the same, but uses the same faculty, perhaps).
Through this, I’ve learned to listen to God, so that hearing his voice comes naturally to me. Read More→
Simple Explanation of The Healing Codes
Posted by: | CommentsQ: I have a friend who really needs The Healing Codes but doesn’t speak English well and needs a simple explanation. Can you help me know what to say to her? Also, she wants to make sure it’s OK spiritually.
A: The way I like to explain The Healing Codes is that it’s like noise-canceling headphones.
Noise-canceling headphones take in the frequency of the noise around you, and provide an opposite and equal signal to cancel out the noise.
Every negative image (as in memories), thought, feeling, all are a frequency, stored in the cells of our bodies. (Einstein proved 100 years ago that everything is energy–frequency–and all our electronic stuff is based on this.)
The Healing Codes provide an opposite and equal frequency to the negative frequency of what you identify needs to be healed (the “noise”), and thus neutralizes or even can change to positive the frequency of that memory, thought, feeling. Thus the stress in the body caused by the negative frequencies of those cellular memories is gone, and this allows the body to heal itself, with the wonderful healing powers God put into the body.
This means that The Healing Codes are as neutral as noise-canceling headphones, spiritually. It’s just a way of harnessing the laws of quantum physics God has set in motion.
Another analogy I like to use is that of a remote garage door opener. Read more here.
Are You Neglecting This Crucial Pillar of Health?
Posted by: | CommentsOn one of my routine checkups, my doctor reminded me of four pillars of health: sleep, nutrition, stress management, exercise.
When I googled “pillars of health” I came up with anywhere from 3-12 suggestions.
Most of them mentioned, in one way or another, “connections.” It is this that has taken the biggest hit with the pandemic, yet it’s so crucial to our emotional, spiritual, and even physical health.
So today I’d like to guide you to explore what your “crucial connections” are, if and how they’ve become disconnected during the pandemic, and how you can reconnect.
What are your “crucial connections”?
By this I mean, what kinds of connections do you absolutely need to be well in spirit, mind, soul and body?
CC BY-NC-ND by true2source
It’s not the same for everyone. For instance, Extroverts get their energy from connections to the external world, while Introverts gain energy from connections to their inner world.
Extroverts need connections to the outer world in terms of travel, social gatherings, visits to museums, volunteer work. All these took a big hit of course with the pandemic and the changes it wrought.
You may think Introverts fare better with the isolation of the pandemic, but that may not be true. Introverts still need people, they just need fewer and deeper connections. These too are harder to come by because of the pandemic.
Highly Sensitive People (HSP), whether Introverts or Extroverts, usually need connections with nature and a spiritual practice. Nature often soothes the Highly Sensitive soul like nothing else.
We all need connections to people we care about and who care about us. It takes time and effort to keep those relationships going. It’s all too easy to let friendships slide when you can’t get together in person. Yes, there is Zoom and Facetime, but connection through a screen is just not the same as a steady diet.
A crucial connection is a connection to God. You may have a block here—many of us do, from bad experiences with religion and/or parents who were not very godly.
This needs to be healed. A spiritual connection is crucial to a sense that our lives have meaning and purpose—proven to be a key ingredient to health and healing.
For instance, Dr. Ben Johnson credited a big part of his healing from ALS to his faith and his will to live. I believe these things are key to activating and amplifying the healing power of The Healing Codes. From working with thousands of clients, I have seen those with an active faith healing at a different pace and level than those with little or no spiritual connection.
What about connection to your body? How aware are you of what your body is telling you, in terms of its needs? If your body were to talk to you, what would it be saying? (Hint: it is talking to you.)
Then there are more personalized connections that are important. For instance, I need to feel connected to my books, to ideas. Some people need music to feel alive or fully themselves. Some need a beautiful, orderly environment.
Do a little self-assessment. What are your most important connections? Have any of them gotten neglected or torpedoed in the last year? What can you do about reconnecting?
For me, I realized some of my important relationships have been neglected. So I reached out. It was an effort, in some ways, because my life has become more complicated and there are more things to deal with now.
I’m finding myself more exhausted by “screens,” yet phone calls or Zoom get-togethers are often the only options, so I limit other exposure to screens. For instance, I don’t watch online video summits anymore. This way I can use the “screen time” to connect with the important people in my life.
When I reconnected with my body, it told me clearly that sleep has to be my #1 priority, and that I need more “breath breaks” throughout the day. (Click here for an audio “Voo breathing.”) Slowing down is not easy for me, but it’s a message my body keeps sending me.
After reassessing, what is the ONE THING you will commit to in the next week to make a change? It does not have to be a big thing. My motto: “A little is better than nothing.”
Once you decide on your One Thing, ask yourself what do you need to do differently to make your commitment happen?
For me, the commitment is to be to be IN BED before 11pm. What I need to do differently: set my alarm for when I will quit and start to wind down for the evening. And actually STOP when it goes off!
As I go through the week, if I find myself NOT doing what I need to do, I will stop to figure out why? Did I fall prey to doing “just one more thing,” did I get distracted by my phone, did I find I was just too tired and so went slower, did I not take into account the things that must be done before bedtime?
(Feel free to ask me whether I did it in a week!)
Assess your connections on a regular basis, and address any blocks with your healing practices. Keeping those crucial connections strong could be THE thing that will turn things around for you.
And if you need anyone to come alongside you in this endeavor—sometimes we can’t see it ourselves—or need someone to whom you are accountable, consider getting coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.
Could this common feeling be blocking your healing?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you weren’t dealing with grief before the global pandemic, I suspect you’re dealing with it now, in one way or another. Who hasn’t lost something in the pandemic, even if it’s only the familiar way of being able to “do life”?
Many are dealing with loss of so much more. Loss of health. Loss of a loved one (including a pet). Loss of connections. Loss of work, of income. Loss of a sense of stability. Loss of a dream. Loss of faith. Loss of a marriage.
If you have unhealed grief issues from the past, likely any of the more recent losses just make the grief feel even worse. Grief is cumulative, and time does not automatically heal it. That is a myth.
Dr. Bernard McGrane, Professor of Sociology at Chapman University, says that “unresolved grief is the major underlying issue in most people’s lives.” Incomplete recovery from grief can have lifelong negative effects on your capacity for happiness—not to mention your health.
If you’ve felt that your healing has not progressed as you would like, it could well be that unhealed grief is the block.
If you were to tally all the losses of your life, how many would you say feel resolved?
If none or few of them are resolved, I suggest you make grief recovery a priority. According to Grief Recovery Specialist Lynnette Hetzler and others, grief is the natural human response to loss, and there is a process of recovery from grief that is specific.
I invited Lynnette to share both her story of grief recovery and The Healing Codes, and more about the specific steps to recovering from grief. The live webinar interview took place on Wednesday, December 30, 2020.
On the call Lynnette and I covered:
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myths about grief that can impede your recovery.
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kinds of losses that need to be grieved.
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ramifications, physical and emotional, of not dealing with grief.
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are there “stages” of grief to work through? (The answer may surprise you.)
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steps to grief recovery.
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how grief recovery and The Healing Codes work together.
In addition, Lynnette answered questions.
Sign up below to access the recording of the call.
God’s “Yeah Buts”
Posted by: | CommentsAs you know, one of the things we address with The Healing Codes are lies we have come to believe–what many call Limiting Beliefs.
Limiting beliefs rear their head, we are told, in the “yeah buts” that spring to mind when we want to move toward expansion. Some call it the Ego Mind that seeks to protect you from any kind of change, which is deemed dangerous by that part of our brain.
Say your intention is to finally heal an addiction. Ego Mind immediately bombards you with thoughts like, “How many times have you tried to quit and you didn’t? Why bother? You’re a failure. You can’t do this, and in fact, you can’t do anything right.”
The Limiting Belief gives way to the Harmful Action of beating yourself up. And then you feel you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve good things, etc. etc.
Lots of fodder for Healing Code work.
But what if we turned ‘yeah but” on its head?
Recently I asked how you would fill in the blank: “2020: A year of _____.”
I resonated especially with one person’s answer, István from Hungary: “The year of chaos in the world, BUT DEEP (SPIRITUAL) CHANGES FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.”
István captures my experience as well. It’s been a year of contrasts . . . of God’s graces saying “yeah but” to the negatives.
We have all had to deal with changes and losses of all kinds. On top of the collective losses, which I fervently hope will bring us together and help us all grow spiritually, I’m sure everyone has personal challenges to deal with as well. Read More→
2020: The Year of ________.
Posted by: | CommentsYears ago (1982) there was a movie called “A Year of Living Dangerously.” I enjoyed the movie, but I especially loved the title. I would often look back on a particular year and try to characterize it in a phrase, or a few words, as I reflected back (which I can’t help but do this time of year, especially since my birthday is also on Christmas so it’s a natural time to look back).
Well, for all of us, 2020 has been Some Year.
How would YOU fill in the blank? “2020: The year of _____.”
Post your comments here on the blog, or on my Healing Codes Coaching Facebook page. Preferably in 6 words or less!
I’ve been pondering this, because I believe it’s important to take a look back before you can move ahead.
Perhaps you would want to fill in the blank with a word that used to be deemed unprintable. (Don’t post that, please.)
Just brainstorm, and post your six top words for “2020: The year of _____.” Try to come up with at least two out of the six that are positive.
I’ll report on yours—and mine—next time. Look for it.
Grief, Grace, Gratitude, and Grit
Posted by: | CommentsMy mother left this earth on November 19, 2020. Marie Boos Filakovsky was 88.
There is grief. It’s showing up as lethargy, insomnia, fatigue, and sadness. I am always amazed at how strong the mother-daughter bond is.
Mom and I had a complicated relationship. The product of Childhood Emotional Neglect herself, she passed that on. She married a good man, my father, and lived out the 1950s script of a good Catholic girl, wife, and mother.
Mom and me, Aug. 2017
I never knew who she really was.
Until she was 78.
That’s when I started giving her custom Healing Codes. And I watched her change.
The changes in my mother solidified for me the power of The Healing Codes.
I can still remember the day she asked me how I was doing—and meant it. Before that, our weekly calls were mostly about her. It didn’t feel like she really was interested in me. Until that day.
From then on, she opened her heart more and more. I discovered to my astonishment that she had a tender, sensitive heart. For most of her life, she had hidden it under layers of socialization. Once she said to me, “You are giving me what I should have given you,” i.e. emotional support.
Then she had a stroke. And a second one, in 2017. After that, communication was very difficult. In a way, I lost the mother I’d just found.
A few weeks ago she was put on palliative care, and it was really difficult not to go out there. But with COVID-19, I just couldn’t risk flying out, for her sake and mine. I was told that it was too taxing for her to talk on the phone.
It was so hard, being cut off from her in her last days. Read More→
The Power of Tracking Your Healing Results
Posted by: | CommentsOctober 2020 marked my 10-year anniversary of getting certified as a Healing Codes Coach/Practitioner by Dr. Alex Loyd.
What an amazing and wonderful 10 years it’s been!
So much healing, and so much learned.
A therapist friend said to me, after finding out some things about my past, “How did YOU come out of all that? I mean, someone who is able to do what you do and have done in the world, usually doesn’t come out of THAT kind of background.”
Answer: God’s grace, and a lot of hard work on my part. Also these:
- Believing somehow that anything can be overcome, if only I have the faith and the willingness to do the hard work of transformation.
- A willingness to learn, and most of all, a desire to grow. To grow beyond the confines of a narrow, emotionally deficient background and trauma.
I believe you also have those qualities, or you wouldn’t be reading my blog. YOU are the kind of self-aware person who desires to heal your heart issues—those negative memories, beliefs and feelings that block you from experiencing the love, joy, peace, purpose and self-fulfillment you sense is your God-given design.
And because you are that kind of person, and to celebrate some of the most fulfilling (as well as challenging) last 10 years of my work, I want to give you something that will speed your Healing Code results—if you choose to use it. Read More→
The Truth about The Healing Journey
Posted by: | CommentsNobody wants to tell you this.
But I think you can handle the truth. I love you too much to not tell you this.
The healing journey is a bumpy road, full of ups and downs, setbacks and detours.
In your heart, you know this already. But, when you’re desperate for healing, you will grasp at anything that offers the instant cure.
It doesn’t exist.
In all my 13 years of doing The Healing Codes, I can count ONE experience of an instant healing.
It was pretty dramatic, I admit. I had a horrible head cold, and was miserable for several days. At the peak of the miserable symptoms, I was doing a Healing Code addressing poor boundaries. Literally in the middle of doing that Healing Code, all my symptoms vanished suddenly and completely.
It was astonishing, but on one level it made sense. The immune system is all about boundaries: the body says, “This is mine, this is not mine.” I was working on a boundary issue. Apparently that Healing Code healed that particular memory I was working on, and apparently that memory was the source of my succumbing to that particular virus.
That experience, however, was not the norm. Read More→
