As I wrote previously, it takes energy to heal (and to suppress emotions, traumas, negative memories).

Now that I’m focusing on recovery from a recent surgery (as well as complex PTSD), I’ve been hyper aware of what takes my energy, and what gives me energy.

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

Being an introvert who gains energy by solitude and reflection, I have limited my social exposures and upped my reading, sleeping, and walking outside activities. These fill my energy tank.

So does writing! Which is why it’s been a joy to continue these emails and blog posts for you.

The social stuff is tricky, because the right social interactions also fill my tank. I think it’s more the scheduling of outward commitments that pushes me into sort of a time-crunch mode. Time stress and hurrying are not good for my nervous system. I am actively working on “have to” and “should” self-talk, because these activate stress for me.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Filling my tank is one thing. There is also carving out time for simple rest. This is a challenge. I’m the go-go-go person, who wants to suck as much out of life as possible. I’m beginning to see that sometimes, this too is a stress or trauma response.

What about you? What fills your energy tank, and what drains it? What can you do to add more of the “filling” activities and less of the “draining” activities? How can you manage things so that you make sure for every “drain” you add at least one “fill”?

Finding the right balance is different for each person. Part of discovering your Divine Design–and living within it—is to know these basic things about yourself.

If you would like to discover your Divine Design, go here to fill out a questionnaire and get on the waiting list.

It takes a lot of energy to heal, I’m discovering.

It also takes a lot of energy to suppress healing.

Which is what we often do when we’ve had trauma of any kind, whether the “big T” type that’s obviously a trauma (parents’ divorce, car accident, abuse, etc.), or the seemingly smaller traumas like emotional neglect or simply not being supported at key times in your life. Either type of trauma has the same effect: our experience of the incident at the time overwhelmed our nervous system, and that trauma and stress got locked into our bodies.

That then locks us into old patterns of being triggered into overwhelm, and learning how to avoid those triggers (as best we could), or self-medicating them away.

As the famous Adverse Childhood Events Study (ACES) showed, such suppressed trauma often emerges decades later in chronic illness and diseases.

So, pick your energy suck. Lean into the energy commitment and releasing that healing requires, or hold back and let suppression steal your vitality.

For me, the recent surgery slowed me down enough to let suppressed traumas and patterns emerge to be healed. The healing work I’ve done for the past 13 years has given me enough capacity to face some pretty big traumas I’d buried.

I’m choosing to put my energy into actually healing, using some wonderful tools that are speeding results, rather than pushing down difficult emotions and painful experiences any longer.

It’s not been easy. I just wrote up a “hard truths I’ve not been willing to face before” document, to help me in this. I wrote out the truths I’d been ignoring, the lies and fantasies I told myself, and am praying about the path forward.

This kind of deep healing takes a willingness to give up what is familiar, to face all those “prison guards” who convince us we can’t break out and be free to face life as it really is, for us right now.

Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash

It takes commitment to allow the difficult emotions to surface and pass through.

It takes the courage to do whatever it takes to live in reality, what’s true for us, and what we truly desire. And to trust God that those things are actually in line with our divine design, rather than things God will deny us because it’s somehow better for us to suffer.

Which takes us to our view of God, and why he allowed certain things to happen. Healing can bring on an existential and spiritual crisis. But for me, I’ve built a strong enough foundation in experiencing God’s true character, that I am trusting he’s thoroughly in this process, guiding, upholding, comforting, and strengthening me.

If you resonate with any of this and feel ready to lean into the energy of healing at the deepest level (it’s always a journey, not a destination), then visit Align with Your Divine Design and get on the waiting list for when that program is available.

Did you experience trauma as a child?

I did, but honestly, for decades I thought I’d put it all behind me. In fact, it took me decades to even realize that I had experienced childhood trauma. I didn’t understand that the trauma I experienced in the first weeks of life, when I was operated on for some kind of intestinal issue, would affect me decades later–physically and emotionally.

And I didn’t know the extent of the emotional neglect for decades.

I had adjusted so well–I thought. Made a great life for myself.

My body told a different story. The body keeps the score.

Examples of childhood trauma are:

• Physical abuse

• Sexual abuse

• Emotional abuse

• Physical neglect

• Emotional neglect

• A parent who’s an alcoholic or addict

• A parent who’s a victim of domestic violence

• A family member in jail

• A family member with a mental illness

• Narcissistic abuse

• Traumatic grief after losing a parent through divorce, death or abandonment

• Bullying

• Natural disasters

• Medical trauma

If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, and the after-effects are still plaguing you (even if until now you haven’t linked it to childhood events), I highly recommend you tune into this FREE, AVAIYA University online event: Breaking Free From Childhood Trauma.

Here is the lineup of teachers speaking during the online event:

Dr. Aimie Apigian, Dr. James Gordon, Heather Monroe, Sharon Martin, Michael Unbroken, Kerry Tepedino, Simon Borg-Olivier, Adam Young, Amber Hollingsworth, Marie Diamond, Misa Hopkins, Dr. Joe Rubino, Gail Brenner, Ashanna Solaris, Dana Dharma Devi, Dr. Ameet Aggarwal, Ken Page, Candace Plattor, Mark Andreas, Jeanie Cisco-Meth, Dr. Steve G. Jones, Evelyn Hale, Dr. Ian Macnauton, Megan Smith, Dr. David Hanscome, Ann Weiser Cornell, Dr. Friedemann Schaub, Machiel Klerk, Michelle Masters, Dr. Kate Truitt, Dr. Elizabeth A. Stanley, Mandy Flanders, Aki Omori, Lelia Schott, Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, Dr. Carrie Lam & Dr. Monique Andrews.

Here’s just some of what you’ll learn from these trauma experts, respected psychologists, best-selling authors & more:

• Anxiety, Panic Attacks & Flashbacks Freedom: Learn how to free yourself from the grip these symptoms have had on your life, and/or the lives of those you love

• Toxic Stress Release: Learn techniques to release the painful stress from your childhood trauma

• Creating Your Trauma Healing Toolkit: Explore modalities like Meditation, Breathwork, Homeopathy, Neuroscience & more on your healing journey

• Biggest mistakes to avoid when it comes to inner child trauma healing

• How to use revise the trauma stored in your brain and body & decrease PTSD symptoms like anxiety, shame, guilt & more

• Techniques and strategies to help you heal and complete your past & reparent yourself

• How to rebuild your sense of self after attachment trauma

• The healing power of engaging your story to overcome childhood trauma

• How to “bully-proof” yourself and quiet your inner critic

• How to raise your resilience, calm your nervous system, and decrease overwhelm

• How to find relief from the toll adverse childhood experiences take on your body

• And so much more

It’s your turn to heal … get started now by registering right here for the Breaking Free From Childhood Trauma online event.