Archive for Healing Heart Issues

Dec
29

What Will Your 2024 Focus Be?

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a 3d rendering of the year 2023 and the number 2024

Photo by BoliviaInteligente

If you’ve been with me for a while, you may recall that every year, both for my birthday (which happens to be on Christmas) and for the new year, I make up a little rhyme for what I want to focus on for the coming year.

Sixty-six was “the year to fix and nix.”

I fixed a lot of things, and I “nixed” a lot of things. 2023 was the “year to be free.” That aligned nicely with fixing and nixing. Nixing made me feel freer, lighter.

Now that I’ve just had my sixty-seventh birthday, I’ve been pondering what I want this next year to be for me. Sixty-seven, the year for—what?

Not much rhymes with seven. An internet search was not much help:

  • 1 syllable. None. One. Ton. Fun. Son. Run. Pun. Done.
  • 2 syllables. Heaven. Lesson. M1. Lebron. Engine. Weapon. Question. Veteran.
  • 3 syllables. Eleven. Intention. Rebellion. Suggestion. Challengin’ Intestine. Excedrin. Travellin’.
  • 4 syllables. Armageddon. Watermelon. Indigestion. Tv. Adrenaline. American. 
  • 5 syllables. Delicatessen.

Engine? Armageddon? Delicatessan? These are rhymes?

And–EXCEDRIN?? Dear God, I hope my sixty-seventh year won’t be characterized by a need for Excedrin! (Which I wouldn’t take anyway; I have better ways to deal with pain.)

So I settled for an exact rhyme, which feels right anyway: heaven. “Sixty-seven: aligned with heaven.” Read More→

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Dec
29

Ebles Christmas 2023

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This 2023 Christmas was one of the best. My daughter, who had just moved 2000 miles away, was able to come back for a whole week! My son lives nearby. We don’t have any other family, so for years it’s been just us 4, and we love it.

We did our usual leisurely sleep in (so different from the days when the kids would get us up at the crack of dawn–now we can’t get them up!).

I make the gluten-free blueberry coffee cake and mulled cider for breakfast as we all wrapped last-minute gifts and I got the stuffed turkey in the oven.

Christine made her cheese board, which has been a new recent tradition. David set up the shrimp cocktail ring. (And this year, I was too lazy to make the usual stuffed mushrooms for the appetizers. Part of allowing myself to slow down!)

Once all the presents were finally wrapped, we started opening them. We go from oldest to youngest, and take turns. This year we got clever, to overcome some of the vagaries of packages not arriving in time, despite Amazon Prime membership.

For instance, a new radio I got my husband would not arrive in time. I found an ancient clock radio he had as a youngster in the basement, wrapped that, with a note saying, “How about an update?” He got the joke (and, eventually, the new radio).

Christine gave David a gift card to a sporting store to get a new golf driver. We found an old golf club of his in the garage, and stuck it in a huge TV box which was a bear to wrap. David was stumped, knowing that it didn’t make sense for us to get him a TV, but what could it be? That big box with all the bows was his new “golf club.”

 

My favorite was a gift for me. I had mentioned I wanted to get new blinds for my living and dining rooms. Here’s what they wrapped: Read More→

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Dec
16

How Can You Feel Safe in an Unsafe World?

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Recently two things happened that triggered my nervous system into feeling unsafe. One was on the communal level, the other more personal.

Here’s what God did for me. Maybe it will help you feel a little more safe too.

On the communal level, I heard the news that the FBI issued a public safety warning for the holidays. Nothing specific, just that that FBI Director Christopher Wray sees “blinking red [warning] lights everywhere.” He says not to panic, but to be vigilant.

Caution text overlay

Photo by Goh Rhy Yan

Great. Hyper-vigilance is something I’m working on healing! In trying to heal trauma from my childhood (and beyond), I’ve worked hard on feeling safe. How can one feel safe in a world where the Director of the FBI is saying that “I’ve never seen a time when so many of the threats are all elevated, all at exactly the same time”?

To top it off, I received a letter from my state representative about safety concerns. We’ve never gotten a letter like that before. It makes you wonder what “they” (the FBI, the government officials) know that we don’t.

On a personal level, a past toxic situation and relationship that I thought was squarely in the past suddenly crashed again into my life.

I want to tell you how being able to connect with God brought great comfort and strength and sucked the stress right out of both situations.

After I got the sudden text and phone message, I related it to my children. My son wisely said, “Ignore it until X happens. Don’t give it any mental bandwidth.”

Good advice, except that my nervous system didn’t get it.

I told a couple of close friends who were familiar with the history of my situation, and they prayed for me.

I prayed too, of course. And what I got was a vision of sorts, a meditation God gave me to dwell on.

(When I say “vision,” I mean an impression on my spirit that is somewhat visual. It’s “seeing with the eyes of my heart.” That is how I often receive messages from God.)

The first part was simply of a castle or fortress, with a moat all around it. The mote was water with fire on top of it.

landscape photo of white and brown castle

No fire here, but the castle is like in my vision, only higher up.

The next day, in my dialogue with God in my Morning Pages journal, the image was added to: I was taken up by angels into the castle (there was no way to get there otherwise, what with the water and fire). I was transported to an area of the castle where I was to stay, “while your special rooms were being prepared.” That “place” I understood would be perfectly designed for who I am.

In the meantime, however, I would have to live in more “public” places, perhaps not so perfectly designed for me, but livable. (I’ve had a lot of dreams lately about being in public places. As an Introvert and Highly Sensitive Person, I’m often wearied by a lot of ”public” obligations. This vision put those dreams and feelings in context.)

I was content to live in the more public places because I knew now they were temporary. A perfect place was being prepared for me (see John 14), and though the meantime was less than perfect, it was fine for now.

This “vision” comforts me.

white paper on white table

Photo by micheile henderson

First of all, it signals safety to my nervous system in a way that my body could receive better than just trying to put something out of my mind. (It will still live in the nervous system anyway.) What the nervous system needs is not words or reasoning, but a new “picture in the heart.” The body’s language is nonverbal. The “survival brain” runs on pictures in the heart.

That new picture of safety is what the vision is giving me. I felt safe in that castle surrounded by the moat that you could only cross via air, spiritually (i.e. the angels carrying me over). The water and fire to me signify baptism (water and the Holy Spirit), recalling a sermon I heard recently about how we can go back to the fact of our baptism to remind us that “we are sealed by the Holy Spirit and belong to God forever.”

Knowing that I had to put up with living in the public spaces because a special place was being prepared for me helped me to feel like I could cope with the obligations that sometimes can seem so onerous to me.

I don’t know if that picture speaks to you or not. You can always pray for your own picture of safety.

brown house surrounded by cliffs during daytime

Photo by Wilfried Santer

The Bible is full of images of safety. The Psalms in particular offer many images of safety (e.g. Psalm 18, where God is pictured as a rock,  a refuge).

Indeed, my vision is based on the verse that the name of the Lord is a “fortress” to which we can run and be safe (Proverbs 18:10). Only in my case, I had to be flown over the moat by an angel!

(This, by the way, is how you know if something is truly from God: It needs to square with Scripture in some way. I’ve been reading through the Bible every two years since 2004, so my “pool” is well-stocked with things God can draw from.)

God had given me another precious picture of safety in an Immanuel Prayer experience, after a tragedy that rocked my world. I did a video on that. I called it “King Jesus Faces Down Evil.” I often return to that as well.

This world as it is is not always safe. If we’ve had trauma in our lives (and most of us have, of one sort or another, as Dr. Gabor Maté points out in his newest book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture), then we can be prone to being easily triggered into anxiety.

If we can address that anxiety by feeding the “survival brain” new images (among other approaches), it can help us be resilient, hopeful, healthily vigilant, and resourceful, adequate to meet the challenges of world that is not always safe or healthy.

Some other verses that calm my nervous system:

  • “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (Words of Jesus in John 16:33)
  • The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness have never overcome it (John 1:5).
  • “Behold, I am making all things new.” (Some of Jesus’ last recorded words, in Revelation 21:5.)
  • Zechariah’s prophecy about the baby Jesus:

       “And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;
        for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways,
        to give knowledge of salvation to his people
        in the forgiveness of their sins,
        because of the tender mercy of our God,
        whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
        to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
        to guide our feet into the way of peace.” (Luke 1: 76-79)

person holding baby's toe with yellow petaled flower in between

If you would like to grow in your ability to hear from God, I invite you to check out my Align with Your Divine Design program. In Module 2, Connect, I teach you four ways to learn how to hear the voice of God. This is the foundation of the whole program. There’s nothing like being able to experience God. In fact, Richard Rohr has said, “An experience of God is necessary for mental and emotional health.” I totally agree!

Dec
09

“Is This Issue Really Mine?”

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I spoke with a client who shared a “heart issue” she was working on. “I’ve had this issue my whole life,” she reported. She also mentioned that her mother had also wrestled all her life with the same problem.

That got me to thinking. How many of our issues are really ours? How many stem from what we may have energetically “absorbed” from a close relationship? Is the real reason physical, psychological, or emotional issues “run in families” because of DNA, or energetic patterns absorbed until they are our own?

Well, I can do my subtle energy testing for those things. In the case of my client, she did have a generational memory from her mother. We now know that traumas at least (and who knows what else) can be passed down in the genes. The famous “mouse study” showed that a trauma in one generation can be passed down to subsequent generations. There have been other studies as well; this one on prisoners of war from the Civil War is fascinating.

a close up of a double strand of gold glitter

Trauma memories can be passed down somehow in the DNA.

Scientists call this epigenetics. I think of this as an “energy information pattern” encoded in the DNA. We can be born with these generational memories, which can predispose us to interpret certain experiences of our own from the lens of that memory. That provides “evidence” that the interpretation is true, thus leading to negative energy patterns of our own.

It’s not always the case, however, that the negative energy pattern comes from the genes. There’s also environment. In dysfunctional families, for instance, sometimes the dysfunctional person projects negative energy onto another person (usually the Highly Sensitive/empath in the family, who doesn’t even realize what’s going on).

I had a client once who illustrated this clearly. She was a twin, and had that trait of High Sensitivity (the scientific term is Sensory Processing Sensitivity). The family experienced a very traumatic situation surrounding the death of the mother, and subsequent emotional abandonment by the father, when my client was maybe 7 or 8 years old. The funeral was especially traumatic. (And by that, I mean what happened was something no child, sensitive or not, could ever cope with on her own. And the sisters were on their own.)

The day after the funeral, my client was unable to go to school, but her sister blithely went off to school and seemed totally unaffected by what had happened.

My client had not really recovered from that decades later, when she came to me. She struggled with all kinds of relational, success, emotional and physical issues. Meanwhile, her sister seemed to be sailing through life, totally unscathed by anything.

two square blue LED lightsMy client and I unraveled the dynamic. Her sister, with whom my client kept in close contact, was unconsciously projecting onto my client all the things she herself should be dealing with. My client, being a Highly Sensitive empath, was unwittingly absorbing all that energy, and manifesting all the negative consequences.

I gave my client a tool, which is part of my Align with Your Divine Design program, to release the negativity from herself, and to “send back” the energy that was rightfully her sister’s to deal with.

In her book, The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity, Carol A. Brown talks about how she suffered during a time when her husband, David, was at the height of his workaholism. She was the one who felt tired all the time.

cross cutout decor“Relief came only when I asked the Lord to put the Cross [of Christ] between us to filter out the excess, to be a gentle but firm boundary to prevent me from subconsciously trying to carry David in ways He was not asking of me. I wanted to carry what the Lord asked me to carry legitimately, as a helpmate, but to reflect [back] to David the tiredness that came from his excess so that he would feel and understand the damage he was doing to his body and mind. I did not want to enable a harmful addiction.”

When Carol did this, within three days, David was feeling his own tiredness and dealing with the issue which was really his.

We are not meant to carry other people’s negative energy, whether absorbed or generational. Thus it is right to use prayer and energetic means to remove it.

man carrying green sack

Some clues you may be carrying something that’s not yours:

  • You’ve been working on an issue for some time, doing all you need to do (Healing Codes, prayer, all the right action steps to change the situation), but nothing seems to work. I worked for several years on some business and personal goals, but just wasn’t gaining traction. When I found a generational memory in both my mother and myself, and we did a custom Healing Code for it, many of those goals were met in one week! (I wrote about “my bamboo week” here.)

  • When you feel or react in a way that’s “not yourself,” take some time to pray and discern: Is this feeling tied to anything you know about in your world right now? If not, where might it be coming from? Were you with someone whose energy you might have absorbed, or in an environment that threw you off? Are you close to someone who is going through a difficult time? (Clue: if they feel OK but you do not, as in the examples above, then perhaps you are carrying their burden.) Use prayer and a Healing Code shift the energy (send it to the Cross, then pray for the person, do a Healing Code for you and them, and release that healing to them.)

  • If, like my client, the issue seems to have been with you “all your life,” and especially if you can see it in a parent, suspect a generational memory. Simply ask God, in your Healing Code prayer of intention, to “find, open and heal the source of [your issue}, including any generational memories that may be at work here.” If the person you suspect the memory comes from is still alive, release the healing to them. (I always release my healing to others with the following prayer: “I release the effects of this healing to [names], in love, insofar as this issue affects them.”) Miracles sometimes happen then.

You don’t need to be burdened by other people’s energy, whether inherited or absorbed. Release the burden to God. God desires you to be free. He has taken care of everything already through what Jesus did on the cross. Appropriate that gift for yourself.

Why Your Energetic Healing Is So Important

I just want to add that healing your heart matters is so important not only for you, but for the generations to follow you.

If generational memories can affect you, your traumas and “issues” can and do affect your children and their children, down through the generations. In my clients I sometimes find generational memories from many generations prior. And my own opinion is, they get worse the more they’re passed down, because each new generation adds their own negativity to the memories, which then get encoded and passed down.

Here’s the good news: As you heal your own heart issues and generational memories, you can release that healing to those close to you, including your children and grandchildren.

I’ve seen it over and over again: when you release your own energetic healing to others who are energetically connected to you, it produces changes in their lives.

You can be the change agent in your generational line! How exciting is that?

Healing your heart matters, matters.

people standing on shore during golden hour

Your healing can affect all those you are energetically connected to!

If you need extra help in discerning and healing energetic patterns in your life, check out my Align with Your Divine DesignTM program and fill out a Clarity Questionnaire. Return it to me and we’ll explore your issue further and discern your next best step.

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Dec
01

Help for Chronic Pain

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A therapist friend heard me talk about how I had strange pains that would come and go in various parts of my body, at various times, for no apparent reason. She suggested I read a book called The Way Out by Alan Gordon

I got the book. And–it’s helping a lot! The premise of the book is that there is something called neuroplastic pain, which is when the brain misinterprets a sensation as pain.

Alan Gordon walks you through just how to reprogram your brain to interpret the signals correctly. I recommend the book.

You might also want to watch this excellent YouTube video in which Mayim Bialik interviews Alan Gordon. I watched this first and then bought the book for further reference.

A note for those who have the trait of High Sensitivity: I think we may be more prone to neuroplastic pain. I say this because I find the flareups with my neuroplastic pain often come after I’ve been overstimulated.

Overstimulation is emotionally painful for HSPs, so it makes sense that we may also feel it as physical pain. 

There are several ways to “train your brain away from pain,” and I’ve written about it from several different angles.  Check out my blog posts here.

Train Your Brain Away from Pain

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Nov
25

Simple Health Rules to Live By

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There are a few simple rules I live by that have kept me functional despite multiple diagnoses (Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, GERD, osteoporosis, IBS–all of which seemed to be kept at bay):

1. Eat real food. And preferably, something that is live or raw at every meal. 

sliced orange fruits underwaterSeveral years ago I heard a theory about orgone energy, “a universal life force hypothesized by Wilhelm Reich, supposed to emanate from all organic material, that purportedly plays a role in physical and mental health.” Reich believed that live foods maintain this life force, and if you eat something live at every meal, it will energize your body.

Though the Internet has poo-poohed Reich’s ideas, it makes sense to me that live foods would have a life force in them, and I don’t see how it can hurt to eat something with the life force in it at every meal.

Besides, so many of the real breakthroughs in science and other arenas come from those who “think outside the box.” First their ideas are ridiculed, until more and more evidence starts to confirm them. Finally, their ideas are accepted and moved “into the box”–until there is another paradigm shift from others who “think outside the box.” (Unless, of course, the powers that be who don’t want any other narratives but theirs to prevail use that power to “deplatform” and silence those who dare think outside the box. But we haven’t seen that happen, have we?)

shallow focus photography of person walking on road between grass2. Exercise every day, preferably outdoors, in nature. Even 20 minutes every day will lower your mortality, according to studies. Get some sunlight every day, even if it’s through one of those happy lights. Cut the blue light in the evening.    

3. Live within your circadian rhythm. Every organ has its own little clock, and there is a master clock in your brain. Learn to know your own rhythms, especially optimal times for waking and getting to bed.

The HOLOS Balance devices really helps with this. It’s my all-time favorite wellness device, and in my opinion, better than anything else that’s way more expensive. Find out more here, and get 15% off if with this link.

 

4. Heal your heart issues. Start with your fears, and the lies you believe.

5. Practice gratitude. If you haven’t already, start keeping a gifts journal.

And if you need more personalized help with healing your heart issues, check out HealingCodesCoaching.com for options.

Nov
22

‘Tis a Gift to Be Simple

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This Thanksgiving (2023), I am focusing on gratitude and simplicity.

green leafed plant on clear glass vase filled with water

Subtraction and simplicity have been my watchwords this year.

I have been focusing all year on subtraction and simplifying (I have a ways to go!).

As I tried in this Black Friday week to fend off FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out–on great deals), and practice POMO (allowing myself the Peace Of Missing Out), the Shaker hymn “Simple Gifts,” written by Elder Alfred Joseph Brackett in 1848, has come to mind.

 

 

Here are the lyrics:

Simple Gifts

‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be.
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be ashamed.
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.


And here’s my Thanksgiving greeting ecard to you, because I’m so thankful to those who follow me and read my blog posts and emails.

brown wooden board

 

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Nov
09

FOMO, FOMSI and POMO

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You’ve probably heard the term FOMO-the Fear Of Missing Out.

This seems to be a fundamental human fear. We don’t want to miss an opportunity. We don’t want to miss having fun.

I have struggled with FOMO. As I’ve worked with it, however, I discovered a perhaps deeper fear: the Fear Of Missing Something Important (FOMSI).

With so many moving parts to my life, with so many details to handle, FOMSI is something I often find myself doing Healing Codes for.

A traumatic background doesn’t help. Growing up with Childhood Emotional Neglect meant that I had to deal with life on my own. If I missed something important, I’d suffer for it. Trauma can lead to the negative coping style of hypervigilance, which is very stressful. It keeps your nervous system in fight/flight mode.

man in black jacket and pants sitting on stairs

Some of the thoughts/beliefs (often unconscious) that fuel FOMSI are:

  • I have to get it right, or else!

  • If I miss an important detail, something disastrous will happen.

  • Nobody has my back; it’s all on me.

  • There’s too much to deal with; I can’t handle it.

  • I might need [to do, now, have] that.

The feelings of FOMSI are anxiety, fear, and overwhelm. Maybe helplessness, maybe anger too. Read More→

There is a story in the third chapter of the biblical book of Genesis that explains, in my opinion, the source of every single problem any of us has in life.

We, like Adam and Eve, fell for a lie.

In Adam and Eve’s case, it was one lie: that God can’t be trusted.

spider web with water droplets in macro photography

In our case, it’s a bunch of lies, a spider web of lies, but at the bottom of them all is pretty much the same lie. It’s some variation of “God can’t be trusted.”

Maybe it’s that you don’t even believe there is a God. You can’t trust a God that you don’t believe exists.

Maybe it’s that you believe there is a God, but you’re not sure what kind of a God it is.

Likely the “God” in your mind is somehow tainted by your experience of your own parents, who were certainly like “God” to your baby self.

(Let’s face it. No parent is perfect. So to believe, on a heart level, that the heavenly Father is perfectly loving, can be a stretch—at least to the heart, if not the mind.)

Think about it. If you could truly and completely trust that there is a Being who is all-powerful and all-loving, totally wise, who is always for you and is able and willing to turn any experience into a blessing in the end—wouldn’t you want to trust that kind of God?

Who wouldn’t?

The rub is, we have believed all kinds of lies that counter that kind of belief. Read More→

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Nov
04

Time Change Tips

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In the U.S. and elsewhere, the end of October/beginning of November, depending on where you live, signals a turning back of the clocks from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time for many areas of the world.

These artificial time changes can wreak havoc on the body, though turning the clocks back an hour isn’t as challenging as “springing ahead” an hour for Daylight Savings Time.

As an aside, I believe so many people get sick when autumn turns to winter partly because of the time change, partly because of eating too many sweets around Halloween and the holidays, partly because we’re outside less, therefore have less exposure to the sun and more exposure to viruses via closer quarters in drier air.

person sleeping on sofa near the wall

When the body says rest . . .

The longer evenings are meant to signal our bodies to rest more, but do we? Most of us turn on our LED lights, continue looking at screens with blue light that blocks melatonin levels, and don’t get the rest our bodies were designed to get in the darker months.

With all these factors converging to lower our immune system, it behooves us to take extra care of ourselves at this time.

If you have a more sensitive nervous system, all these things may have an even greater impact.

Here are some tips to navigate the time change:

  1. The night of the time change, go to bed at your usual time (before you reset the clock), and let your body decide whether it needs that extra hour. If you awake after your usual amount of sleep, you’ll know that’s right for you. PLUS you’ll gain an extra hour and feel fresher than if you stayed up later. 
  2. Cut the processed sugar!  A research study done by Loma Linda University in which participants were fed different forms of sugar found that the effectiveness of white blood cells (our immune cells which fight infection) decreased up to 50% after 1-2 hours of eating sugar, and lasted up to five hours!
  3. Cut out the blue light at night. I use special glasses (and if you wear prescription glasses, you can get the kind that fit over them). There are many brands, but I like the ones with the red lenses that block out blue and green light.
  4. Get more rest. Listen to your body. Be willing to make the adjustment to more sleep over the winter months. It’s part of your divine design to live within the natural rhythms of life.
  5. Boost your immune system. Fruits and vegetables, broths, herbal tea, my two “healthy brews.” Warm liquids can soothe and open up nasal passages and provide healing nutrients.
  6. Guard your circadian rhythms. Find out your best bedtime and stick to it. I am amazed at the difference it makes if I get to bed before 11pm, vs. after. 

A device that helps the circadian rhythms of all your organs is the HOLOS Balance. Check it out here (and get 15% off if you order). This device has helped me to sleep better, have more energy and perform better, heal quickly from my surgery, recover faster from PTSD (the Balance Plus has a PTSD setting), create calm and peace, and much more! I absolutely love this device.

Alane Freund, an international consultant on High Sensitivity, has a YouTube video on adjusting to the time change you might also want to check out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x869nFZigU

(I don’t resonate with her spirituality, but I do agree that this is a good time to lean on your spirituality, and she does have good things to say about sensitivity.)

I would add: If you are Highly Sensitive, be very aware of how much stimulation you are getting, especially at night. Because we process everything so deeply, everything we take in will need more time to process.

I’ve had to limit myself to listening to podcasts or watching videos in the evening, because I need that time to process what has already occurred that day. If I add more to process, it interferes with my rest.

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