Archive for Healing Heart Issues

Several years ago, in my prayer time these words were imprinted on my soul: “You need to feel it so we can heal it.”

At the time, I didn’t really understand this. In fact, I disagreed with it. Alex Loyd taught us practitioners that with The Healing Codes, you didn’t even have to feel the emotions.

Such impressions on my spirit I take as possible messages from God, so I looked for proof as to what to believe.

Since I believe Scripture is revealed Truth, that is always my first go-to for testing anything. Were there any scriptures that attested to this idea that you have to “feel it” to be healed? And what did the greatest Healer who walked the earth do—how did Jesus heal? Read More→

Why Healing Your Heart Matters

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You don’t need me to tell you that we live in very troubling times. It’s all around us, and we can’t escape it. Political polarization, uncertainty, job loss, the pandemic, social media nastiness (which I avoid totally), natural disasters, racial injustice, violence. Even if you limit your news intake, as I do, you still can’t avoid the negative energy all around.

For some of us, especially if we have the trait of High Sensitivity, the energy is palpable; we may even feel it physically.

Authors Dr. Lise Van Susteren and Stacey Colino wrote a book about it, calling it Emotional Inflammation. It’s a state “not unlike post-traumatic stress disorder, but one that stems from simply living in today’s tumultuous world.”

Some symptoms include sleep problems, hyperactivity, persistent grief, or inescapable worry about the future.

In such a climate as ours now, we need to be especially intentional about our own healing. Because healing the heart matters. Read More→

The Cat Saga Continues . . .

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God seems to be using pets to teach me lessons these days. Specifically, cats.
 
I wrote in this blog post about what happened when we had to put our wonderful big black cat, Joey, down after 16 years of joy.
 
Then we did get Buddy. But things didn’t work out as we’d hoped.
 
Now there’s a new chapter in the cat saga.
 
In that last blog post, I talked about how I had surrendered the whole matter to God. I even wrote, “I am quite sure that when I’m ready for another cat, one will somehow come into my life.”
 
Well, literally no sooner had I hit the “publish” button than I got a notification from our Nextdoor neighborhood chat group that someone had a cat that had hung around their house all day, and now that it was night she was concerned about it being outside.
 
I saw the neighbor lived in my town, so I asked where. She lives two blocks away! I said I’d take the cat, at least overnight.
 
And that’s how Cleo has come into our lives. (I’m not sure what her name was, but that’s the name that comes to my heart.)
 
Cleo is not the cuddly cat I would have chosen. Frankly, I’m not sure she has “chosen” us yet. But she is the cat that has come to us, seconds after I had surrendered and wrote that at the right time, the right cat would come to us. I think she had been abandoned, but that at one time she did have a good home. She does not have a chip or collar.
 
I am giving Cleo time to adjust, just as I’m giving myself time to grieve over Joey. Perhaps Cleo too is grieving. Miraculously, she gets along fine with my son’s dog Chester, who is often with us. My vet says she seems well cared for. So maybe someone out there is grieving the loss of Cleo. I’m doing Healing Codes for her and me, for grief. (Yes, The Healing Codes work well for pets, too. I just did one for Chester, who was acting fearful because of the thunderstorm. Right after I released the Code to him, he stops trembling, jumped down from the chair, and seems fine.)
 
Cleo’s lessons are about surrendering: giving up my ideas about what I think I want, to receive whatever good is waiting for me.
Perhaps the owner will come forth, and I will have to give her up, and I’ll be petless again.
 
(I think it’s amusing that God seems to think I’m not meant to be petless for long. Since Joey left this life, we were petless for only 9 days!)
 
Whatever happens, I’m ready to receive it, because I know it will be God’s best, tailored to me, packaged with the lessons I need to learn now.
 

Update, August 28: Cleo continues to slowly warm up to us. She’s not unfriendly; she even comes when called. She just isn’t a lap cat, and may never be.

I’ve had to learn a few new things–like, how to keep her from destroying our furniture. She seems to love her scratching pad–to lie on! However, she has begun to scratch it, too.

I found a recipe for a cat deterrent spray made up of rosemary essential oil, water, and a bit of soap. It does seem to help some. We’re also trying to show her “no, not the couch” but “yes, here’s your scratch pad.”

Of course, she shows no interest in the fancy scratching post we got her, even though I scattered catnip around the base. (Joey went wild over catnip. Cleo likes it, but is not crazy about it.)

So the lessons in patience, in finding new ways to do things, in enjoying what is rather than what I wish it would be, continue. We like watching her. She will probably warm up to us more in time. At least she’s not a hider….

 
 
 
 
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Ever since I helped Dr. Alex Loyd get his book, The Healing Code, published, I have longed to see some real research studies done to prove the efficacy of this process.

I know it works. It healed a hole in my heart, has kept me afloat during various traumas and the “tsunami” of the past five years, and has helped thousands of my clients and subscribers to heal their “heart issues” and more.

But . . . I hadn’t seen any studies on it.

Well, now there are two.

Both studies were done at Payame Noor University in Iran, but each study targeted a different group.

One explored the efficacy of The Healing Codes on the emotional and physical well-being of women recovering from skin cancer. (The studies referred to The Healing Codes as “self-healing training,” which I think is a great description of what it is.) Read More→

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This week we had to face that fact that our beloved big black cat, Joey, the last of our pets, was too sick to treat, and had to put him down.

This is the first time in 20 years I have been petless, and I can hardly stand it. So I’ve been looking at descriptions of adoptable cats in local animal shelters.

This description struck of one particular cat struck me, and I’ll tell you why after you read it:

“Buddy is a 4 year old Superhero that possess abilities beyond those of ordinary cats. He can use his purr-powers to help your home become a better place. He wears his black & white logo with pride. He has other powers too, which include winning every race to the food bowl, out weighing most of his lap-cat competitors at 17.5 lbs, and able to make you love him in a single leap of faith! Buddy recently experienced a major life change when his beloved human was transferred to a senior home. Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back like Superheroes do, and is ready to save a new human with his unconditional love.”

That last line struck me: “Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back. . . .”

That is what love does, for humans and animals: it makes us resilient, even in the face of loss. I feel drawn to Buddy; maybe he’ll be our next cat? Already he’s given me a lesson in resilience.

Coaching question: How can you draw on the love you have received in your most important positive relationships to help you “bounce back,” especially during these exceptional times? How can you offer love to another to help them become more resilient?

If you would like help healing your heart issues and opening up to love and be loved, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

In my last blog post, I talked about a question that can shift everything. I shared about the “tsunami” that hit our family over the last 5 years, and how asking, “Are these things happening TO me or FOR me?” helped me shift my focus and get through it all with lessons learned and even gifts received.

It occurred to me afterward that I could adapt that question into a Truth Focus Statement to use with my Healing Code work, and I did that as I worked on my current issues. (Always seems to be some issue to work on! This healing journey is never over in this life.)

So the “Truth that Shifts” I used was: “God allows difficult things to come into my life for my ultimate good. He is constantly willing and able to work all things together for good as I entrust each difficulty to him. I will look for the gift and the lesson, and respond in gratitude.” Read More→

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The Big Shift that Heals

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“Is life happening TO you or FOR you?”

When this question was posed to me, it stopped me dead in my tracks.

I had been trying to process the events of the past five years. They were a rough five years, and the recent “emotional inflammation” of world events and some new personal challenges had triggered still unprocessed issues.  It felt important to revisit the traumas of the past several years from the perspective of this question.

CC BY by uriba

It all started in 2015, with a dental crisis. Then my husband was forcibly retired, and the family lost our medical insurance, not to mention his income. We had to fight his employer to get unemployment insurance.

My son was also laid off at the same time. My husband’s sister, Connie, got cancer and was put on hospice. My husband became her Power of Attorney, and we discovered Connie’s caregiver had been stealing money from her. What was especially painful is the caregiver saw to it that the money Connie was going to send my daughter for her college education was taken, and it was uncertain how my daughter was going to finish college. Read More→

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Healing from “Not Enough”

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When I wrote last December about “settling into the energy of enough,” I had no idea it would be such a journey.

I thought it would be a simple process of figuring out what “enough” was, via reading a bit about Minimalism, clear some space physically, mentally, and emotionally. I thought it would be mostly about gratitude. I did not think it would not be a big deal.

After all, haven’t I been doing healing work every single day since 2007?

Well, it’s turned into quite an undertaking. Turns out, “settling into the energy of Enough” is a lot more involved than I thought.

First of all, there’s the becoming aware of how pervasive and deep “not enough” is for me. Who knew?

I began to realize that it goes all the way back to childhood (as most things seem to do—sigh). Because I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect and was so different from my family (highly sensitive),  “not good enough” became a big part of me. Though I excelled at school, the family was indifferent to it. My father often said, “I wish my boys had your brains.” I took that to mean they were wasted on a girl. All that mattered for girls, in the culture I grew up in, was that they be pretty and please others, especially men.

Also, there was “not enough” of other things in the family. Attention, love, interest, money. As an adult, trying to grasp this suddenly huge issue of “enough,” I realize I continued the process by denying myself so many things that are really “me,” in favor of doing “what’s expected” (which was a big value in my family).

Religion also plays a role in this “not enough.” Distorted or incomplete religious teachings can lead you to feel you’re not good enough for God unless you do X, Y, or Z.  Even if you do grasp the meaning of grace, which is what true spirituality is all about, there’s often the subtle pressure in churches to “serve.” This is fine, but when there’s the sense that you can never really serve enough, the needs are so great and you’re being selfish to think of your own needs when there are so many people worse off than you who need what you have—then, at least for me—it becomes very toxic.

It’s not just religious communities who can send that message, either. Work environments can also foster this “not enough” mindset. “You won’t be successful if you don’t push harder, put in more hours than other people.”

You’re not enough. You don’t do enough. You don’t know enough. There is not enough. These messages are everywhere, aren’t they? Advertising is based on it.

Just becoming aware of how “not enough” affects you is the first step. Bring this unhealthy belief and the memories behind it to your Healing Code work! Using the Truth Focus Statement, I am enough, I do enough, I know enough, I have enough, there is enough has been quite a help. As I have worked with this, oh the freedom I’m experiencing!

If “not enough” is an issue for you, I would love to come alongside you on your healing journey and help you find the freedom to be you as well. Check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Reframing Trauma

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I was talking with a client the other day and we were marveling at how far she has come in her healing work.

This client, whom I’ll call Debbie, has overcome severe childhood abuse, both physical and emotional, dealt to her practically since birth. What is so amazing is how well she can hear from God now, given that she actually had brain injury. And that hearing from God, plus her commitment to faithfully do The Healing Codes, is leading to much healing.

It occurred to me that it’s quite possible that her extraordinary spiritual attunement might have come, not despite the abuse, but because of the abuse. That God used the very changes in her brain caused by the abuse for his own good purposes. Sort of like how an ugly caterpillar gets transformed into a beautiful butterfly–after falling completely apart in the chrysalis first.

I can’t prove that’s true, but it’s in line with what I’ve experienced in my life and seen in the lives of others: God can take something harmful, and turn it around to accomplish something good. As I wrote about recently, God’s way is to find any small positive thing, and increase it until it overcomes the negative.

It’s also in line with many stories in Scripture. My favorite one is the story of Joseph from Genesis 37-48. At age 17, Joseph (whose name, by the way, means “increase”) was the youngest of 11 brothers–and also his father’s favorite. Out of jealousy, his brothers sold him into slavery and told their father that he was killed by wild animals.

Joseph went through all kinds of trials in Egypt, through no fault of his own. In fact, several times, things got worse for him because he did the right thing. But ultimately his fortune turned around and he ended up being second in command to Pharaoh in Egypt. When a famine drove the brothers to go to Egypt to buy grain, they met Joseph but did not recognize him. You can sense that Joseph wrestled with making his brothers pay for what they did to him, but in the end, he forgave him and reconciled with them.

Joseph’s turnaround came when he saw God’s big picture: that it was because they had sold him into slavery that the family survived the famine. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives,” he told them.

In my own life, I have pondered how God has used some of my traumas to bring me to the point I am now. Read More→

I’m Listening . . .

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I think I’ve cried at least once every single day for the past several weeks, if not months.

As someone who can’t help but feel and think deeply about everything, I have taken my time to respond to what is happening in the world, but especially in our country, about racism in particular.

I am and have always been about “healing heart issues.” I have worked with clients in 39 countries, and of all races and religions. Because I usually only use phone or Skype voice, I do not see my clients, and this gives me and them the freedom to relate at the heart level.

I have found that no matter the color of one’s skin, the same heart beats in all of us.

Having said that, I know that we are all affected by our culture and the surrounding culture. We have the same heart issues, but we don’t have the same experience. In our culture, there is wide disparity between socioeconomic and racial cultures. We can easily find many areas of injustice that need correcting.

I recently wrote a blog about distorted thinking, with the challenge to filter everything you hear or read—even what comes out of your own mouth—through this lens. Our culture’s polarization, for instance, is a perfect example of most of the thinking styles mentioned. And racism is built on ALL of them.

We need to first confront the distorted thinking, the heart wounds, that exist in our own hearts before we can clearly engage in any conversation about healing on a larger scale. As Jesus said, we need to remove the log in our own eye before we can see to take out the speck in our brother’s eye.

With that said, I am prayerfully asking God to show me any way in which my own heart and my own thinking need to be changed.

And I am listening. Deeply. With humility. Listening to my black brothers and sisters, to my friends and colleagues, to people who demonstrate that they are thinking clearly.

And I want to listen to YOU. If there is anything you have seen in what I have said that shows any kind of distorted thinking like that on my blog, or just plain ignorance, call me out, please. I promise to listen.

I believe that love is what is needed now more than ever. And love listens. Love allows space for another to be heard, without judgment. That is what I have always sought to do with my clients, friends and family.

After talking with thousands of clients the world over, I believe one of the greatest aches of the human heart is to be validated. To be heard.

I want you who read this to know that I believe you should be heard. That your experience matters. That YOU matter. Growing up in a home in which I felt like I didn’t matter because I was different (with the trait of high sensitivity), I get that deep need. “Black lives matter” is a very moving statement to me.

I am also listening to God, searching his word for his perspective. What I find is that to God, ALL lives matter, simply because he created every person. God himself loves diversity. You see this in the very first book of the Bible, Genesis, when he made an incredible variety of things, and you see it in the very last book (Revelation), where the vision is of “peoples from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands” (Revelation 7:9). From beginning to end in the Bible, God loves and values diversity.

And so should we, for that very reason.

God loves diversity!

Years ago in 2006, I wrote on my Abundant Gifts blog a post called “Room for All Kinds.” It moved me greatly to write it, and I offer it to you now: https://abundantgiftsblog.com/room-for-all-kinds/

This is the vision I hold to, and pray for. Before God we all stand equal . . . and beloved. When you know yourself—and every other person–as the Beloved of God, it changes everything.

My work is to help you see that you are the Beloved, and then I trust that God and your own aligned self will make clear the unique contribution you are to make to a world in which God’s celebration of diversity is meant to be made manifest.

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