Archive for Highly Sensitive

A very high majority of my clients possess the inborn trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity, making them what’s commonly known as Highly Sensitive People (HSP).

HSPs make up 20-30% of any population (it shows up in 100 species and is equally distributed among male and female), so we are automatically in the minority. (I say “we” because I am one; so is my husband and son.) Since there is a huge difference in how HSPs and non-HSPs experience the world, it’s extremely helpful to know whether you have this trait or not.

Yet, just because you may have this trait, that doesn’t mean you’re like all other HSPs. I love what Dr. Elaine Aron, who put this trait on the psychological map with her ground-breaking book, The Highly Sensitive Person, says on her blog: “All living beings are [different from one another], but even within the group of HSPs, or maybe more in this group, we are so different. After all, if our trait is about being more sensitive than others to our environment, that should mean that we vary more than others coming from similar environments.”

When clients discover they are Highly Sensitive, it’s often one of the biggest ahas of their life. “So that’s why I had so much trouble with . . .” or “So that’s why I seem to absolutely need . . .”

It reframes their experiences in a whole new way. It opens the door to begin to accept themselves for who they are, and to craft an environment that fits them.

But I’m not just interested in people understanding the trait. As Dr. Elaine Aron pointed out, even among HSPs, there are many differences.

I think it’s most helpful to know how this trait, if you have it, shows up for YOU.

image for Sensitvity FingerprintSo I created the Sensitivity FingerprintTM, and I’d love for you to have it. It’s a way to get to know your Highly Sensitive Soul—how the trait expresses in your life.

The first step is to take the Getting to Know Your Highly Sensitive Soul survey. This will prime the pump for you, and it will help me know how to serve you better.

After you submit the survey, you will get the Sensitivity FingerprintTM for your own records. There will be an opportunity for you to further explore how to not only get to know, but to heal the wounds of your Highly Sensitive soul.

After all, healing and transformation is my calling. And I’m super excited about the plans God is unfolding for me—and, perhaps, for you.

So please take the Getting to Know Your Highly Sensitive Soul survey, and stay tuned!

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Jul
09

Heal the #1 Heart Issue of Most People

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If there’s one “heart issue” almost every client I know addresses at some point, it’s some variation of “not enough.”

This unhealthy can show up in a number of forms, leading to various outcomes. For instance:

  • “I’m not enough” (leads to low self-esteem, perhaps a sense you have to prove yourself; sometimes harmful ways of trying to fill the void).
  • “I don’t have enough” (leads to anxiety and often actual lack).
  • “I’m not doing enough” (leads to the harmful actions of overgiving, over-doing, workaholismm, etc.).
  • “I don’t know enough” (leads to endless learning rather than actually doing).
  • “There isn’t enough” (time, money, love, etc..–leads to despair).

Can you relate to any of these?

If so, remember—you’re not alone!

Some of us also experience almost the flip side of this: “too much.”

Too much expected of us. (And there are “not enough” resources to deal with it.)

Too much stimulation (especially true for those with the trait of High Sensitivity).

Too much to know before I can feel safe.

Lately a little “mantra” has slipped into my mind that helps me deal with the “not enough” issue (which for me is often, “I don’t know enough” or “I’m not doing enough”).

The mantra is this: “Let it be enough for now.”

Let it. Allow it. I have a choice: to allow, or to resist and fall back into the old “not enough” pattern.

“Let it be enough. A whole new energy comes in when you say “enough.” At least for me, it’s like there’s a sigh in my soul. Aahh . . . it can be enough.

Let it be enough for now. Not forever. This is not procrastination. It’s a choice to let whatever I’ve done, whatever I know, whatever I am, to just be enough, just for now.

In this moment, I can choose to be enough, to have enough, to know enough, to let what I’ve done be enough, to trust that there is enough.

You might make that a Truth Focus Statement for your Healing Code: “Just for right now, I am enough, I do enough, I have enough, I know enough, there is enough. I can let where I am right now be enough.”

See what this does for your nervous system.

And let me know if it helps you!

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Feb
21

Impossible Relationship Blocks

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Have you ever been in a relationship in which you want to love the other person, but you and they are coming from such different places, that all you can do is set a firm boundary and try not to get sucked in to all the drama or manipulation or dysfunction?

In such a relationship, often the other person wants something from you, and will resort to all sorts of manipulation tactics to get it. Some examples might be:

  • guilt-tripping and attempting to pull you into the Dreaded Drama Triangle by trying to make you the rescuer or perpetrator of their victimhood

  • gaslighting, where they ignore, distort or twist your words, actions or intentions to something other than you meant

  • playing on and exploiting your generous or compassionate nature, knowing that you want to think of yourself in these ways so will do what they want to keep up your image of yourself.

Having dealt with a few of these relationships in my life has been an interesting experience. (By the way, as I’ve healed and Aligned more and more with my Divine Design, there have been fewer such relationships in my life. That can be true for you, too.)

push button

Photo by Brands&People on Unsplash

In these unhealthy relationships, I saw all my “buttons” that were being pushed, and that awareness was actually a gift. It was an invitation to more transformation and growth. Self-awareness led to consciously healing the issues, with more of a sense of freedom and personal empowerment as a result.

I want to say a special word to you if you were born with the trait of High Sensitivity. (If you’re not sure, go here to find out more and take the quiz.)

We who are Highly Sensitive seem prone to attracting dysfunctional people. I think there might be some kind of invisible energetic radar that certain people like narcissists and predators pick up on. They can somehow sense the kind-hearted, generous people who will give anyone the shirt off their back.

It was so very helpful for me to become aware of this dynamic. It has led to a lot of discomfort, since I’m not used to being as “hard-nosed” as I’ve had to be in dealing with these kinds of relationships. I’ve had to contend with guilt, judgment (from the other person who knows this is one of my buttons, as well as myself), and the cognitive dissonance of having to “turn off” some of my best traits (like compassion) when I recognized the other person’s attempts to exploit them.

I’ve had to initiate some uncomfortable conversations in which I confronted the person with truths they didn’t want to hear, and who would then berate me to others for it.

And I’ve had to remind myself a lot of the wonderful 12 words I think God gave me awhile ago to deal with my guilt over not rescuing people from their own folly: “You must allow others the dignity of living with their choices.”

I’m also grateful for such painful relationship experiences because I think they help me understand perhaps a bit of what God might feel toward us, his children.

God longs for a close relationship with us. Too often, our distorted thinking and attempts to make him be what we want him to be, rather than who he truly is, make a relationship impossible. Yes, God can do anything. But he won’t do this: he won’t violate our free will. He himself allows each of us “the dignity of living with our choices.”

Even if that choice is to live in eternity without him.

I guess God prizes freedom that much.

(Do we?)

If you too would like to transform some old negative patterns and Align with Your Divine DesignTM , check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Jan
22

An Empowering Way to Read the News

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Do you watch the news constantly—or not at all?

The continuous news cycle—especially these days—can give one a massive case of Emotional Inflammation, which the authors of that book called a sort of PTSD characterized by what one client called “a dark cloud of energy” around her.

I admit—I never used to watch or even keep up with the news at all. It just felt like too much; I’d always get a bad case of Emotional Inflammation.

Now I’ve found a better way.

First of all, I never watch the news; I only read the news. Images tend to stick in the mind and heart, and are much harder to filter than thoughts.

I skim a wide variety of sources. News sources are so polarized these days, you have to read widely to come to something close to the truth.

Because of my training in subtle energy testing, perhaps it’s easier for me to sense the lies. I can feel it in my body. That helps.

What I do to combat the Emotional Inflammation is to use the news as a springboard for prayer.

I pray this one simple prayer: “God, shine your life-giving light into this [name of situation], to expose evil, reveal truth, and point our feet to the path of peace.”

When I read the news, especially now, I’m always looking for evidence of that prayer being answered. I rejoice when I see answers. I keep praying this prayer into the dark situations I see.

This practice goes a long way to mitigate Emotional Inflammation and keep me in a state of hope, peace, and even joy when I see what seem like answers to this prayer.

But it’s not always enough, especially for a Highly Sensitive Person who picks up on energy easily. So I always include “emotional inflammation” in my own Healing Codes practice.

I invite you to do the same. There is a custom Healing Code for Emotional Inflammation on the Navigating the Times page, just for you. (I ask that you sign up so I can alert you to when I update the page with new resources.)

And if you need help healing the heart issues that come up from living in these unprecedented times, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Oct
23

Escape the Deadly Trap of Comparison

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There’s a “harmful action” that I and nearly every client I work with easily fall into.

It wreaks havoc on our self-esteem, as well as social relationships. And it affects our health.

There are many forms of it, and it’s sneaky. For instance, because I didn’t fall prey to the more obvious forms, I thought it wasn’t a problem for me.

I was wrong.

What is this common, destructive trap?

It’s the trap of COMPARISON.

There’s a basic human need that drives this, which I will talk about in another post.

For now, I want to help you identify how this might be showing up in your life.

Telltale Feelings and Beliefs

Some of the feelings that point to this harmful action are shame and low self-esteem. The underlying beliefs are “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t measure up,” “there’s something wrong with me.”

We want to heal these feelings and unhealthy beliefs, but to do so we need to identify and address what you might (unconsciously) be doing on a daily basis that drives these feelings and beliefs.

That’s where comparison comes in. There’s something we’re doing that drives these feelings, the reinforces the unhealthy beliefs.

Let’s look at the main forms of comparison.

Comparing Yourself to Others

This form of comparison can be to other people who are “like me,” or “not like me.”

Perhaps growing up, your parents or other authority figures compared you to someone else.

  • “Why can’t you be organized like your sister?”
  • “Your brother was so athletic. You can hardly even throw a ball.”
  • “Why are you so sensitive? Nobody else is bothered by that.” (We Highly Sensitive People get this sort of thing a lot.)

Thus you learned to compare yourself to others, and felt you didn’t measure up.

I said comparison can be sneaky. Sometimes we can feel ashamed if we’re better in some way than others. “I wish my boys had your brains,” my father would tell me. I think his remark was more about his feelings about my brothers than me, but along with other messages from religion and the culture, I began to believe I needed to diminish my intelligence so as not to make anyone else feel bad.

You might also compare yourself to others who are like you, so you identify with them, but in some area you fall short. Thus, it can be all the more painful.

 

  • Everyone in your social group drives a nice car—except you.
  • Everyone in your social circle is married—except you. (Or vice versa.)
  • All your friends are retired and having a good time, and you still have to work.

You get the idea.

Social comparison is multiplied exponentially by social media. It’s so easy to end up comparing yourself to the image others portray. Keep in mind that social media is set up to fuel comparison and discontent.

Comparing Yourself to Others’ Expectations of You

Did you grow up in a family with high expectations? This isn’t necessarily bad, but if there’s any areas in which you fell short, you may feel ashamed and “not good enough.” You may have internalized unrealistic expectations of yourself, and constantly try to live up to them.

If you’re Highly Sensitive, an inborn trait approximately 20% of the population possesses, expectations may have been laid on you of being “like the other 80 percent.” Perfectionism is a very common struggle for HSPs as a result.

I remember vividly being given a vacation in Europe as a perk from my employer. One of the things we did was go to a discotheque in Germany. I was supposed to be having fun, but to a Highly Sensitive like me (I didn’t realize I was HS at the time), it was pure hell. The flashing lights, loud music, different language, constant movement, all added up to sensory overload that made me miserable. Adding to the misery, however, was the expectation that I was supposed to be having a wonderful time.

My mother wanted me to be very social and outgoing, and I was an introvert that needed alone time to recharge. One of the memories I’ve had to work on a lot was her oft-repeated admonition, “Get your nose out of that book and find someone to play with!” My interpretation: my love of books was invalid, and all that mattered was being social. Otherwise, I “had no personality” (another thing I was told).

(By the way, later in life, after my mother had been doing Healing Codes for a while, we had a wonderful talk about how I’d felt about these and other memories, and she was able to receive it. Her transformation was one of the things that cemented in my heart how powerful and valid The Healing Codes are.)

We are all prone to others’ expectations of us, because we’re social beings and we have a strong need to fit in. Yet this becomes a deadly trap where we lose our true selves to some “socialized” version that we’re trying to live up to. That adds enormous, though largely unconscious, stress to our systems.

I love this quote from poet e.e. cummings:

To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

Comparison to Yourself—Past or Future

This is another way comparison can be sneaky.

You may not realize you had an unconscious expectation that, say, by age 30 you should be married with two kids, or that by age 40 you should own a nice house, or that by age 60 you should have your house paid off, or that you would be able to retire by age 65. (Did you notice how many of these expectations are common cultural norms?)

Life rarely turns out the way we imagine it will. Imagining is one thing, expecting it of yourself is another.

Or perhaps you’re comparing yourself to some past version of yourself.

“I used to be able to _____; now I can’t.” Aging reveals this painful expectation of self.

So what do we do about all this destructive comparison?

Steps to Freedom from the Comparison Trap

1. Acknowledge it. Allow yourself to become aware of the ways comparison might be eating away at your joy.

2. Heal it. If you can, identify memories and/or relationships that may the be the source of this harmful action. Pinpoint the feelings and beliefs. Put all the feelings, beliefs, and “the harmful action of comparison,” into your Healing Code prayer of intention, and intentionally heal it.

3. Get in touch with what brings your true self joy. Use your power of choice to “flip the switch” and choose joy over meeting expectations. When doing a Healing Code, infuse the memories of those times when you were “true self,” to reinforce that joy and connection to the essence of who you really are.

4. Use comparison constructively. Is there something here I can adapt for myself? Do I need support to heal a heart wound? Do I want to create something entirely new that suits me better?

For instance, since I am in business for myself, it’s easy to compare myself to what other “successful” entrepreneurs are doing and wonder if I’m missing out. Should I get into Instagram? Do a Facebook Live? It’s working so well for So-and-So. . . .

When I check in with my True Self, with my Heart, I realize that connection with others is important to me, but I can do it in ways that are more suited to my temperament. While I’m open to new ideas, I need to pass them through my Heart Check to see if any match up with my divine design. Often I find I need to adapt it to the way I’m wired, or create something entirely new that achieves the result I want, in a way that suits me.

I hope this helps you begin the journey of escaping the deadly comparison trap. And of course, if you want more personalized help for your unique situation, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

I don’t know about you, but the events of the past few weeks–no, months–have given me quite a case of “emotional inflammation.”

I’ve been writing about “emotional inflammation” and how these troubling times can literally affect us physically. The negative energy is all around us, and we can’t escape it.

Polarization on so many levels, uncertainty on so many levels, job loss, the pandemic and everything that goes with it these  days, social media nastiness (which I avoid totally), natural disasters, the fall of Afghanistan, the loss of freedom on so many levels in so many ways. Even if you limit your news intake, as I do, you still can’t avoid the negative energy all around.

For some of us, especially if we have the trait of High Sensitivity, the energy is palpable: we feel it in our bodies.

One client said recently she sensed a “dark energy cloud” around her. Yep, that’s a good way to describe Emotional Inflammation.

Authors Dr. Lise Van Susteren and Stacey Colino say in their book, Emotional Inflammation, that it’s a state “not unlike post-traumatic stress disorder, but one that stems from simply living in today’s tumultuous world.”

That book was published in March 2020–right before “all this” became worse. It’s even more relevant now. Read More→

Aug
07

Overwhelmed? Try These Steps to Peace

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Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all that’s coming at you, all there is to do?

overwhelmed

I know I do. As someone with the inborn trait of High Sensitivity (or Sensory Processing Sensitivity, its technical term), I take in a lot more information than non-HSPs, and process it more deeply. Understanding this has hugely helped me to understand what’s going on, but I still have to deal with it all.

On top of that, there’s this tendency to “overthink” things. One of my gifts is that I can often see down the road to just how something will play out, for me or others. I’m usually right. However, I’m finding that you still have to walk through all the steps to get there. (I just want to leap frog to the end that I can see so clearly.)

So what do you do when you have to make decisions and move ahead, when there’s so much to sort through and it’s difficult even to know what’s most important to do so you can set priorities?

Remember that famous quote by Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind?  (“I’ll think about that tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.”) That’s what we feel like doing, isn’t it?  There are times when we do have to just take a break, but you know the “mañana” attitude doesn’t get you very far in life.

Here’s what I’ve found helpful.

Step 1: Pray. I pray for wisdom, knowing that God desires to give it and to guide me.

Prayer also reminds me that it’s not all up to me, that there’s a lot I can’t control, and that a loving God desires to help me.

One of my favorite verses is, “For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you’” (Isaiah 41:13). Such tenderness and kindness in that Word!

Here’s another one of my favorite promises: “The LORD himself goes before you, and is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be discouraged; do not be afraid” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

And finally, this: Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him, in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Reminding myself of these promises from God’s Word helps me to trust that he will guide and help me as I step out in faith.

mind map of tasksStep 2: List out all the things that I’m dealing with, all the decisions to be made. This is how I mind map. I do this on paper usually, to get things out of my head, where it can feel overwhelming. Seeing it all written out helps me look at everything more objectively.

Step 3: Triage the decisions. When I’m facing a lot of decisions and not sure what to do, I look at the probable outcomes of acting now, acting later, or not acting at all. The decisions that have the worst outcomes if I don’t act now get priority. The trick here is to make sure you take into account the not-so-obvious, and/or longer-term consequences.

Conversely, you can ask the famous One Thing question: What’s the ONE Thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

Between looking at the worst outcomes and the one thing that will yield the best results, it should become easier to prioritize. But there are other factors to consider.

Step 4: Clarify what I do and don’t want. I have a tool for this that I use with some of my clients, which helps tremendously to clarify my real desires and fears. It’s important to take these into account as well, because fears can block you and desires can fuel you into getting what you want.

Step 5: Tune in to my Heart and intuition. Having gathered all this information, I then pray again and tune into my Heart/Spirit. I know there are factors of which my spirit or subconscious may be aware, that my mind is not. I have learned to trust that vehicle of transmission from Spirit to mind, my intuition. I wait to things to “jell” into a Clear Next Step.

Once I get that Clear Next Step, I then have peace. All I need to focus on is my own Clear Next Step. Everything else is up to God and perhaps other people to do their parts.

Another important thing: I don’t proceed until I get that Next Clear Step. I continue to pray, and wait. I only act when I have a Clear Next Step.

step by stepThis is a process, a continual  process.

Often when I take one Clear Next Step, the next clear step presents itself. If it doesn’t, I wait and pray, or go through the above process again.

Try this with any decisions or tasks that tend to overwhelm you, and let me know what happens.

And if you would like help with this or any other “heart issue,” check out my coaching at https://HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Jun
11

On Being Noboby-but-Yourself

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I’m retiring . . . but don’t worry, it’s not from this wonderful work of helping people heal their heart issues and transform their lives. No, I love that work too much.

I’m retiring from the “job” of being a people pleaser. (You natural rebels can stop reading here.)

I’m done with living by internalized or expressed expectations that are based more on socialization than my own divinely-guided values.

I’m retiring from the “job” “Pharaoh” foisted on me while I wasn’t looking.

Pharaoh was the Egyptian king who enslaved the ancient Hebrews. When God raised Moses up to set God’s people free to be who God created them to be—his special people—Pharaoh said, “No way!” Further, the more Moses pressed, the more tyrannical Pharaoh become. “Now make bricks without straw—and see to it you keep up the same quota!’

I’ve written before about “Pharaoh.” “Pharaoh” can be anything that seeks to squeeze you into its own mold, or discourage you from being who you really are.

One of my favorite quotes is from the poet e.e. cummings (whose unconventional punctuation of his name in itself illustrates the point):

“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world

which is doing its best, night and day, to

make you everybody else — means to fight

the hardest battle which any human being

can fight; and never stop fighting.”

And oh, is that world “doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else”!

Seems to me, this is the whole thrust of social media. (Apologies to those of you who are SM fans.)

This is why I just can’t bring myself to be on social media much. Business “gurus” do their best to convince me I have to do Facebook Lives and be on Instagram, but somehow, by the end of the day, I find I just never get around to even looking at Facebook.

(I’d love to hear your thoughts on SM. And if you would like to see more of me on SM, let me know!) 

Why is it so easy to be caught up in this trap of trying-to-be-everyone-else?

Because of the human need for validation.

We need to know we’re OK. We feel we need to have our experiences validated by other people having the same experience.

But, are they really having the same experience as us? Probably not. Each person has his or her own experience, and it’s unique, and ideally, needs no outside validation whatsoever. If you are truly “nobody-but-yourself,” you don’t need validation.

Yet we do crave validation, usually because we didn’t get it earlier in life. So we looked outside ourselves, and came to believe if we fit a certain mold (good wife, mother, community leader, volunteer, entrepreneur, etc.), then we’re OK.

However, we never quite feel we are OK, because we can’t get that Ok-ness from outward sources. We do need other people, yes. Ideally, other people are loving mirrors who reflect back who we truly are, and provide true validation.

(That, by the way, is one of the things a good coaching program does. It validates you AND moves you to be the “new you” that you are transforming into. I see my clients not as the “caterpillars” they may see themselves as, but as the beautiful “nobody-but-themselves” butterfly that is on the other side of their healing and transformation.)

But loving validation is not what many of us experienced. Many of us saw reflected back only distorted images of who we are, and/or received the message, “You are only OK if you do what I say, if you conform to what I want you to be.”

(Highly Sensitives, People of Color, and anyone who is “different” especially know what I’m talking about.)

So how do you become “nobody-but-yourself”? E.e. cummings says you need to learn how to feel.

Yes, learn how to feel.

Speaking to aspiring poets, cummings writes:

“A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feelings through words.

“This may sound easy. It isn’t.

“A lot of people think or believe or know they feel — but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling — not knowing or believing or thinking.

“Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.

“. . . And so my advice to all young people who wish to become poets is: do something easy, like learning how to blow up the world — unless you’re not only willing, but glad, to feel and work and fight till you die.

“Does that sound dismal? It isn’t.

“It’s the most wonderful life on earth.

“Or so I feel.”*

You don’t have to be a poet to aspire to be “nobody-but-yourself.”

You just need to be honest. Authentic. Willing to feel.

And to “retire” from trying to be “everybody-else.”

YOU are enough.

And if you don’t believe this yet, or you are ready to “retire” from the role of being everybody-else, consider getting some coaching to heal the old patterns that block your being nobody-but-yourself. Experience the freedom of being aligned with your divine design, not anyone else’s pre-defined role.

 

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Jun
11

What to Do When Your Day Gets Derailed

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Have you ever had a day like this?

You start out with a plan, and high hopes of getting something important accomplished.

Then you get a notice of some kind. Let’s say it’s a low balance alert from your bank.

You go to fix that, and notice that there is a charge on your account that is way more than it always has been for like, the last 10 years. Like, more than 10x the amount. Of course, it’s an automatic charge.

You go to the vendor in question, to see if there’s any notification or explanation of when or why this suddenly exorbitant charge came about.

What you find: There’s no way to post a support ticket, no clue as to why suddenly this charge was made or was  more than 10x as much.

You open what looks to be a support chat. The bot says they’ll be with you, and the window will remain open for you to keep checking back. (Like, I have all day to keep going back to check.)

You get an email saying, “For the fastest response possible, please do not update this ticket until you hear from one of our advocates.”

The next thing you hear from them is an email saying that you left the chat.

Case closed, apparently.

As you can guess, this happened to me. It reminded me of one of my favorite children’s books.

The incident I described was the first of about 5 things that attempted to derail me from the task I meant to get to first thing in the morning (which was this blog post).

I started to deal with the low balance alert at 10:30am. I finally got back to it at 4:30pm. And by the way, I disputed the charge on my debit card, and stopped automatic payments with that vendor. I don’t want to do business with a company like that.

Seems like modern life is full of such frustrations, doesn’t it? At least, if you have to deal with technology of any kind. (And who doesn’t, nowadays?) Especially, they tell me, when mercury is in retrograde as it is now–whatever that means.

So what do you do when you have a day full of interruptions, frustrations, and technological glitches?

What I did today: I kept re-returning.

I know that seems like a redundant term. But it reminds me that I can come back, again and again and again, to where I want to be.

I can shake off the frustration and refocus on my initial goal. (My Release & Infuse Technique really helps here.)

So that’s what I did. I released “anger, frustration, derailment, lashing out, and giving up. “

I infused “productivity, patience, peace, joy, and focus.”

And I got this written.

If you’d like this tool that allows you to clear negative energy is less than 3 minutes, and re-return to the state of mind you want, just go here. It’s free.

This technique is especially helpful if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person and/or empath who tends to take on other people’s energy.

A client told me yesterday she had one of her headaches come on, and she used the Release & Infuse Technique, and the headache went away right afterward!

Side note: The good that came from this day, which seemed wasted in so many ways, was that I got to write this piece. Perhaps for YOU. I am learning that when I roll with the changes (accept and adapt) and trust God to bring good out of the seemingly bad, I do see good.

The other day my friend told me her whole family was sick with stomach flu or perhaps food poisoning, yet it turned out to be a sweet, peaceful day of being together, despite the yuck.

God can bring good out of any “yuck.” If we re-return to trust and surrender, that is. The Release & Infuse Technique shows you how. My gift to you.

And if you would like personalized help for healing your heart issues, releasing old beliefs and infusing new ones to transform your life, check out my coaching packages at HealingCodesCoaching.com

Apr
24

Are You Too Nice for Your Own Good?

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I always thought it was a good thing to be a nice person, and strove to be a nice person myself.

Until I read this article by Jason Henry.

Henry says that people who are are “nice” (as opposed to “good”) are people who don’t want to hurt others because they were so hurt and traumatized in the past and didn’t heal, that they make a vow (perhaps unconscious) to never make others feel the way they felt.

Perhaps those who possess the trait of high sensitivity are even more susceptible to this. I’ve often thought that HSPs were the nicest people in the world. Because we feel so deeply and take in so much, including our own suffering and that of others, we often bend over backwards to make sure we don’t cause suffering to other people.

Sounds noble, right? Even, perhaps, “Christian.” Do not do unto others as they have done unto you.

However, Henry says that when you dissect this vow for its ramifications, there are several big problems. Read More→

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