Archive for My Healing Story

I’ve been doing something for the past 25-30 years, and I’m just now realizing that it’s the most important thing I do, and the subsequent skill developed is the most important skill I’ve cultivated.

It’s been responsible for any success I can claim, any effectiveness and even joy I experience.

The practice is spending time every day when I tune in to my innermost self, and to God (not exactly the same, but uses the same faculty, perhaps).

Through this, I’ve learned to listen to God, so that hearing his voice comes naturally to me.

I’ve shared some of what I’ve heard, such words as the 12 words that changed everything (“You must allow others the dignity of living with their choices,”), the wry observation that led me on a long adventure of discovery: “you create a lot of your own stress, you know.”

And the enigmatic words that seem to be my guidance currently, and may even speak to you, too: “Strengthen what remains.” 2020 was a year that took much away from all of us, but these words help me focus on something I can do now, with what does remain. (And it also focuses me with gratitude on what does remain.)

I’m not yet sure what all this applies to, but as I follow the clues and inklings, I am guided very specifically in my business and relationships.

“It’s the glory of God to conceal a matter, and the glory of kings to search it out.” (Those who follow God reign with him in his kingdom, so in this sense we are kings and queens. I readily embrace my queendom—something else I’m “searching out”!)

I highly recommend this practice of spending time, preferably with pen and paper, and just tune in to God, your innermost self, or the muse. Perry Marshall calls it Renaissance Time.

Julia Cameron, who for decades has been fostering creativity in people through her many books such as The Artist’s Way, suggests you start with “morning pages.” The best time for this practice IS in the morning, when you’re fresh and still kind of tuned in to your subconscious.

It’s very important, if you’re going to get the most out of this practice, to do it BEFORE you tune in to any technology. I keep my phone on “airplane” mode and don’t turn it back on until after my “Renaissance Time” is over.

My “Renaissance Time” starts with morning pages—writing 3 pages of longhand, first thing in the morning.  I use an 8 1/2 x 11 spiral notebook, and write anything that comes to mind. It is a way of “mind dumping,” where you write quickly, without any worries about punctuation or grammar. You just—write. (Side benefit for writers: if you do this regularly, you probably won’t ever suffer from writer’s block.)

You can also write in a bit more structured way of dialoguing with God. Dr. Mark Virkler just finished a series on Hearing the Voice of God, in which he gives four keys: 1) get quiet 2) fix your eyes on Jesus, 3) tune in to flowing thoughts and pictures, and 4) writing down what you “hear” and “see.”

You can also pose a question, and just start writing anything that comes to mind. It could be a specific question you want answered, or just, “God, what do you want to say to me today?”

I tend to start off with the “mind dump” approach, and maybe I’ll get to the dialogue part, maybe not. I may do the more structured “dialogue with God” writing at other times in the day, as needed. Once I’ve written my morning pages, my mind is cleared. For the rest of my Renaissance Time, I read, usually Scripture, do my healing work, then take my walk. That’s often when I get “downloads” of ideas and insights and answers.

I used to feel guilty about all the time I spent doing these things, but now I realize it is the wellspring of my ability to get ideas, deal with stress, ground myself, and generally set myself up for a demanding day.

CC BY by Kent Schimke

You could always shorten it for yourself by, for instance, just writing a page or two, reading a bit, doing your Healing Codes, and walking at another time. I have to say, though, that the order and combination I outlined—morning pages, reading, healing work, then a walk (breakfast is during the reading part)–create a dynamic synergistic effect that is very powerful.

I now see that time as the most productive part of my day.

In fact, this is the very practice I was led to do when I was in a post-partem depression 25 years ago. This was what came to me after trying medication (which didn’t help). I prayed and felt God led me to do morning pages, reading and walking. (When The Healing Codes came into my life, I added that.) It worked like a charm.

I suggest you start with 20 minutes, first thing in the morning, pen and paper, and just get quiet and listen. See what comes up for you. Again, most important: do it before “plugging in.”

Let me know how it goes if you try it.

And if you need help with that, contact me for some coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

I thought this would be another story of grace in my ongoing cat saga. Perhaps it is. Just not in the way I expected.

If you followed my cat stories, several months ago we lost Joey, our beloved black cat (the best cat ever), and also became petless for the first time in decades.

After months of not having a cat, and a couple of negative attempts to bring another pet into our lives, a few weeks ago I was really, really missing having a cat. Yet, I didn’t know if I was ready for a full commitment to a pet at this time (vet bills, food bills, and dealing with possible destruction of furniture as we had with the last brief cat visitation). I just entrusted the longing to God.

Not two hours later, I was checking my Nextdoor chat group, and someone posted that they needed someone to take care of her 14-year-old cat for 6 weeks. The cat loved to sit on a lap (and wasn’t picky about whose), she was front declawed, and used her litter box religiously. Bingo!

I private messaged the owner, Zadie, and told her how we’d lost our last cat, who was an older lap cat, I wasn’t ready for a full commitment to a pet yet, we did not have any pets and would love to take care of her cat.

I didn’t hear back from her right away, and let it go, figuring that she chose one of the other volunteers. But I was wrong. Zadie had actually called right away and left a voice message (I often don’t get my vms right away), and said, “You sound just like someone sent from heaven for me and my cat. Please give me a call. I can’t tell you how perfect you are….”

It did seem perfect. Zadie provided all the food and litter. We just needed to provide the love and care. I looked forward to having a lap cat again (who wouldn’t wreck our furniture).

So in came Kaya, a gray Manx cat whose lack of a tail weirded us all out at first. But she was sweet and friendly. All went well—for a couple of weeks.

Soon, however, I began to get concerned. Kaya wasn’t eating much. When she stopped drinking and eating, scorning even her special daily treat of shrimp (I spoiled her as Zadie did), I began to worry.

When Kaya threw up, I contacted the owner. It took Zadie a day to get back to me. She was very thankful that I had contacted her about the problem, and I’m sure, very worried about her beloved cat.

Zadie had her daughter come and take Kaya to the vet. After a couple of days at the animal hospital, during which time I did Healing Codes for Kaya, I got the report that Kaya was eating and doing better and could go home.

This time “home” was not my house. Zadie was sensitive enough to pick up that I wasn’t crazy about taking care of someone else’s sick cat, and had her daughter-in-law take the cat.

What happened, in fact, was that I was triggered into grief about Joey. I remembered that in the last couple of weeks of Joey’s life, the same things happened: he didn’t eat, drink, and he messed outside his litter box (which he never did, and neither had Kaya previously). I could not deal with another sick or dying cat.

I realized I’m still not over grief concerning Joey. I’ve had a lot of grief in the past year or so: Joey, my mother, an ongoing private grief, and other past unhealed losses I didn’t realize I need to work on. They are all melting into each other it seems, and I need to create space to heal it.

With every loss, there is a subtle diminishment of identity. I am no longer a pet owner. I am no longer anyone’s daughter.

Recovering from grief is a journey, and healing grief is more complicated than I thought. Though I’ve been working on it for a while now, I find you can’t rush it.

The outcome of taking in this cat was not what I expected. Instead of the comfort of having a cat purring on my lap (which happened exactly once with Kaya, before she started acting sick), unhealed grief was stirred up.

At this point, it’s like, “three strikes you’re out” concerning cats. Kaya was my third strike. At least for now, I’m not interested in any pets. I need space to heal more of this grief and deal with the recent new challenges that crop up unbidden. I’m in a mode of subtraction, not addition.

When I saw on Nextdoor that another cat “desperately needed a forever home,” I wasn’t even tempted.

This may or may not be the last chapter of my cat saga. If it is, I’m OK with it. There is a time and season for everything. This is a season of letting go. There can still be peace in that.

If you need help in healing grief or any other heart issue, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

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A friend of mine was asked to fill out a survey asking, “Are you optimistic or pessimistic about 2021?”

How would you answer this?

As I reflected on this, I came to the conclusion that I’m both optimistic and pessimistic. It all depends on which perspective I’m coming from.

And my “both” answer is also based on looking back on 2020.

CC BY-SA by jospeee

From an outward perspective, looking at the world and all that happened, it was awful. I don’t have to remind you of the negatives: a global pandemic. Racial unrest. Political instability. Violence. Unemployment. Businesses lost. Lives lost. Friendships and families torn asunder by the polarization that has only grown.

My heart has broken many times over these things.

And 2021 so far hasn’t exactly given us much reason to think things will get that much better, though there are glimmers of hope.

Personally, 2020 was also a time of loss for me. My mother. My cat and last pet. Difficult diagnoses that, if the doctors are right, will only get worse.

Outwardly, not much cause for optimism.

I’m sure you have your own losses and challenges. No use glossing them over. It was a year of suffering.

I recently gave a custom Healing Code for the Emotional Inflammation from all of this. (You can go here to access the custom Healing Code for emotional inflammation. Use this password to access the correct page: EIHC2021.)

When you look at life strictly from a human perspective, if you base your hope on what human beings can do (though we can do some pretty amazing things), I think you would tend to be pessimistic.

Yet, I’m also optimistic.

I’m optimistic because human beings do not have the last word.

God does.

And God’s Word says he’s at work, busy making all things new.

God’s last word says he has a plan, he’s working to head up all things under his kingdom which is all about “righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17)

When I look at my inner world, I am optimistic. I have seen what God has done even last year, turning the lousy outward circumstances for good in my life and the lives of those I’m close to.

Take, for instance, my broken foot. God got so much mileage out of that one for me, and I’ve written about it some. I won’t go into details, but the timing was such that it actually answered at least two other prayers I had been praying.

Also, it helped me to slow down—something I apparently was unable to do without a little tough love on God’s part. (I had actually told God, “I know you’ve been telling me to slow down, but I just don’t know how.” Allowing me to break my foot–which happened because I was rushing–was God’s answer. By God’s grace, I didn’t need crutches, I didn’t need surgery. It slowed me down just enough to answer my prayer.) The lesson is sticking; I really am slowing down.

When my business also slowed down, I was able to get PUA assistance, and the time allowed me to work on some exciting new programs for you.

What about you? Can you look back on 2020 and see any ways God has turned some difficulty into a blessing?

He can do that for everything, I believe. The key is to entrust the situation to him.

“God, I don’t know what you’re doing here, it sure looks like a terrible situation to me right now. But I believe you, being God, can by definition do anything. And I believe you are good. So, because of your infinite wisdom and creativity, I’m going to entrust this situation, this year, to your creativity, goodness and wisdom.”

Then, get curious and hopeful about what he will do. Even if the curiosity is laced with a bit of skepticism (“God, I can’t wait to see how you can turn this into something good”), it seems to be enough to give space for God to work. 

Curiosity and hope—that will get us through 2021 so that, a year from now, we can look back and say, “it was the worst of times, and—only because of God—it was also the best of times.”

And if you need help with being able to trust God because of past negative experiences, with religion or relationships (both affect our relationship with God), feel free to contact me for some coaching. Some of my new approaches really help with this. A client told me just the other day, “You’re the first person who was able to hold space for me to heal my relationship with God. I’ve seen breakthroughs since.” 

I’m not surprised that she’s had breakthroughs. Our relationship with God affects everything. Connecting with the Source of Life seems an obvious first step to walking the path of life.

October 2020 marked my 10-year anniversary of getting certified as a Healing Codes Coach/Practitioner by Dr. Alex Loyd.

What an amazing and wonderful 10 years it’s been!

So much healing, and so much learned.

A therapist friend said to me, after finding out some things about my past, “How did YOU come out of all that? I mean, someone who is able to do what you do and have done in the world, usually doesn’t come out of THAT kind of background.”

Answer: God’s grace, and a lot of hard work on my part. Also these:

  • Believing somehow that anything can be overcome, if only I have the faith and the willingness to do the hard work of transformation.
  • A willingness to learn, and most of all, a desire to grow. To grow beyond the confines of a narrow, emotionally deficient background and trauma.

I believe you also have those qualities, or you wouldn’t be reading my blog. YOU are the kind of self-aware person who desires to heal your heart issues—those negative memories, beliefs and feelings that block you from experiencing the love, joy, peace, purpose and self-fulfillment you sense is your God-given design.

And because you are that kind of person, and to celebrate some of the most fulfilling (as well as challenging) last 10 years of my work, I want to give you something that will speed your Healing Code results—if you choose to use it. Read More→

Nobody wants to tell you this.

But I think you can handle the truth. I love you too much to not tell you this.

The healing journey is a bumpy road, full of ups and downs, setbacks and detours.

In your heart, you know this already. But, when you’re desperate for healing, you will grasp at anything that offers the instant cure.

It doesn’t exist.

In all my 13 years of doing The Healing Codes, I can count ONE experience of an instant healing.

It was pretty dramatic, I admit. I had a horrible head cold, and was miserable for several days. At the peak of the miserable symptoms, I was doing a Healing Code addressing poor boundaries. Literally in the middle of doing that Healing Code, all my symptoms vanished suddenly and completely.

It was astonishing, but on one level it made sense. The immune system is all about boundaries: the body says, “This is mine, this is not mine.” I was working on a boundary issue. Apparently that Healing Code healed that particular memory I was working on, and apparently that memory was the source of my succumbing to that particular virus.

That experience, however, was not the norm. Read More→

A week ago I learned something fascinating about the brain, and have been experimenting with the practical aspects of it ever since.

The results are amazing.

(If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I’m an inveterate learner, and I love to pass on to you what I’m learning in a way that will enhance your life and your healing somehow.)

What I learned, from Dr. Jim Wilder, a neuroscientist: Fear and curiosity run on the same brain circuit.

So what, you say?

So what is this: Since these two emotions run on the same brain circuit, you cannot experience fear/anxiety and curiosity at the same time.

Soooo, when you feel fearful/have a fearful thought, if you catch yourself and switch to curiosity—poof, the fear is gone!

I have been trying this myself. There is a certain ongoing situation in my life that triggers feeling threatened and fearful. I have actually been praying about how to quit feeling fearful. This is my answer.

Now when the trigger happens, instead of the usual, “What does this mean? What will this require of me? How can I cope with that too?” . . .

I switch to: “I wonder what prompted that person to say/do/think that? I wonder why it triggers me so much?” (This “why does it trigger me so?” is a question you can ask yourself to find out what underlying memories might be making the current situation worse. Then, of course, you address those memories with a Healing Code. In this situation,I actually know why I get triggered, and have worked on healing that. But the ongoing situation still has to be dealt with, and asking the first question helps that.)

Another way to engage in curiosity is to use the “I wonder what would happen if …?” formula.

“I wonder what would happen if instead of defending myself, I apologized?”

“I wonder what would happen if I prayed for that person/situation?”

“I wonder what would happen if I did (or said) nothing this time?”

“I wonder what would happen if I reacted in the exact opposite way as I feel like reacting?”

(I wonder what will happen if YOU try some of these things. Let me know!)

Switching to curiosity really does work. Not only does it take you out of the fear vibration, but it moves you into a much higher vibration of possibility, discovery, even joy. There is a great expansiveness and openness about curiosity.

I am finding new solutions to problems when I switch from fear/overwhelm/anxiety to curiosity. It’s been fun, amazing, and—I highly recommend it!

Try it, and let me know what happens by adding a comment. Sharing our stories encourages others and also opens up all of us to new possibilities.

And if you would like personalized help with healing the blocks to curiosity and expansiveness, I’m just a few clicks away at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Several years ago, in my prayer time these words were imprinted on my soul: “You need to feel it so we can heal it.”

At the time, I didn’t really understand this. In fact, I disagreed with it. Alex Loyd taught us practitioners that with The Healing Codes, you didn’t even have to feel the emotions.

Such impressions on my spirit I take as possible messages from God, so I looked for proof as to what to believe.

Since I believe Scripture is revealed Truth, that is always my first go-to for testing anything. Were there any scriptures that attested to this idea that you have to “feel it” to be healed? And what did the greatest Healer who walked the earth do—how did Jesus heal? Read More→

In my last blog post, I wrote about how we lost Joey, our cat of 16 years. And how I had my eye on a new cat, Buddy. The writeup said he was ready to save a new human with his unconditional love.”

I did end up learning lessons from Buddy the cat. Not about love, but about the Heart, grief, and the power of the Halo.

It all started when the foster mom for Buddy called on Monday to offer to bring the cat to my house. I thought, “Why not?” But I didn’t really pray about it or check in with my Heart.

Well, the foster mom for Buddy called on Monday to offer to bring the cat to my house. I thought, “Why not?” But I didn’t really pray about it or check in with my Heart.

On Tuesday foster mom Rita brought Buddy by. He was very shy, but we finally coaxed him out of his hiding place. He rubbed up against our legs and allowed us to pet him. Read More→

This week we had to face that fact that our beloved big black cat, Joey, the last of our pets, was too sick to treat, and had to put him down.

This is the first time in 20 years I have been petless, and I can hardly stand it. So I’ve been looking at descriptions of adoptable cats in local animal shelters.

This description struck of one particular cat struck me, and I’ll tell you why after you read it:

“Buddy is a 4 year old Superhero that possess abilities beyond those of ordinary cats. He can use his purr-powers to help your home become a better place. He wears his black & white logo with pride. He has other powers too, which include winning every race to the food bowl, out weighing most of his lap-cat competitors at 17.5 lbs, and able to make you love him in a single leap of faith! Buddy recently experienced a major life change when his beloved human was transferred to a senior home. Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back like Superheroes do, and is ready to save a new human with his unconditional love.”

That last line struck me: “Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back. . . .”

That is what love does, for humans and animals: it makes us resilient, even in the face of loss. I feel drawn to Buddy; maybe he’ll be our next cat? Already he’s given me a lesson in resilience.

Coaching question: How can you draw on the love you have received in your most important positive relationships to help you “bounce back,” especially during these exceptional times? How can you offer love to another to help them become more resilient?

If you would like help healing your heart issues and opening up to love and be loved, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

Healing from “Not Enough”

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When I wrote last December about “settling into the energy of enough,” I had no idea it would be such a journey.

I thought it would be a simple process of figuring out what “enough” was, via reading a bit about Minimalism, clear some space physically, mentally, and emotionally. I thought it would be mostly about gratitude. I did not think it would not be a big deal.

After all, haven’t I been doing healing work every single day since 2007?

Well, it’s turned into quite an undertaking. Turns out, “settling into the energy of Enough” is a lot more involved than I thought.

First of all, there’s the becoming aware of how pervasive and deep “not enough” is for me. Who knew?

I began to realize that it goes all the way back to childhood (as most things seem to do—sigh). Because I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect and was so different from my family (highly sensitive),  “not good enough” became a big part of me. Though I excelled at school, the family was indifferent to it. My father often said, “I wish my boys had your brains.” I took that to mean they were wasted on a girl. All that mattered for girls, in the culture I grew up in, was that they be pretty and please others, especially men.

Also, there was “not enough” of other things in the family. Attention, love, interest, money. As an adult, trying to grasp this suddenly huge issue of “enough,” I realize I continued the process by denying myself so many things that are really “me,” in favor of doing “what’s expected” (which was a big value in my family).

Religion also plays a role in this “not enough.” Distorted or incomplete religious teachings can lead you to feel you’re not good enough for God unless you do X, Y, or Z.  Even if you do grasp the meaning of grace, which is what true spirituality is all about, there’s often the subtle pressure in churches to “serve.” This is fine, but when there’s the sense that you can never really serve enough, the needs are so great and you’re being selfish to think of your own needs when there are so many people worse off than you who need what you have—then, at least for me—it becomes very toxic.

It’s not just religious communities who can send that message, either. Work environments can also foster this “not enough” mindset. “You won’t be successful if you don’t push harder, put in more hours than other people.”

You’re not enough. You don’t do enough. You don’t know enough. There is not enough. These messages are everywhere, aren’t they? Advertising is based on it.

Just becoming aware of how “not enough” affects you is the first step. Bring this unhealthy belief and the memories behind it to your Healing Code work! Using the Truth Focus Statement, I am enough, I do enough, I know enough, I have enough, there is enough has been quite a help. As I have worked with this, oh the freedom I’m experiencing!

If “not enough” is an issue for you, I would love to come alongside you on your healing journey and help you find the freedom to be you as well. Check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

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