Do Your Words Support or Hinder You?


I was talking with a client, and it struck me how often she used the words “should” and “must.”

I asked her how those words made her feel. What I was feeling from her, energetically, was pressure.

She paused to think, to get in touch with her body. It didn’t feel so good.

“What if you substituted ‘must’ with ‘choose to’ or ‘get to’ or ‘want to’?” I suggested.

She tried it. She liked how it felt.

I was particularly attuned to her language because this is something I’m working on myself. How easily I put pressure on myself, just by telling myself “I have to . . . I must . . .” or “I should”!

I like what my client did. She rephrased her statements to, “I choose to ____, so that . . .” and she named the benefit of making that choice. “I choose to get my taxes done so that I don’t have to think about them anymore.”

Do you see how much agency and power that gives her?

Choose your words tiles

Photo by Brett Jordan

Try it yourself. List the things you feel you should, must, have to do. Tune in to how your body feels with those words.

Then, turn it around to a more empowering statement: “I choose to ____ so that _______.” How does that feel?

If putting pressure on yourself by your language is a habit, do a Healing Code for it. Explore what feelings come up with this “must/should/have to” issue. Is it fear that if you don’t do X, Y or Z you will be punished, ostracized, rejected or that something bad will happen? How realistic are those fears? (Some fears are realistic. If you don’t get your taxes done, there will be penalties.)

What other thoughts/beliefs go with those feelings? Do you have a sense of when all that started? Is there a particular memory attached to that? (There doesn’t have to be. Often with generational or very early memories, or patterns absorbed from your family, there won’t be any memories.)

Put whatever comes up for you in your Prayer of Intention, and use your empowering statement while you point to the Healing Code positions.

Be kind to yourself. Mental habits like this didn’t form in day. Keep at it with the Healing Code and with catching yourself and rephrasing your thoughts. See if you feel less pressured and more spacious.

I have some specific tools in my Align with Your Divine Design program for changing just these kinds of mental habits and behaviors. Fill out a Clarity Questionnaire and let’s see if this might be a good fit for you.


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