Nov
09

FOMO, FOMSI and POMO

By

You’ve probably heard the term FOMO-the Fear Of Missing Out.

This seems to be a fundamental human fear. We don’t want to miss an opportunity. We don’t want to miss having fun.

I have struggled with FOMO. As I’ve worked with it, however, I discovered a perhaps deeper fear: the Fear Of Missing Something Important (FOMSI).

With so many moving parts to my life, with so many details to handle, FOMSI is something I often find myself doing Healing Codes for.

A traumatic background doesn’t help. Growing up with Childhood Emotional Neglect meant that I had to deal with life on my own. If I missed something important, I’d suffer for it. Trauma can lead to the negative coping style of hypervigilance, which is very stressful. It keeps your nervous system in fight/flight mode.

man in black jacket and pants sitting on stairs

Some of the thoughts/beliefs (often unconscious) that fuel FOMSI are:

  • I have to get it right, or else!

  • If I miss an important detail, something disastrous will happen.

  • Nobody has my back; it’s all on me.

  • There’s too much to deal with; I can’t handle it.

  • I might need [to do, now, have] that.

The feelings of FOMSI are anxiety, fear, and overwhelm. Maybe helplessness, maybe anger too.

If this is a problem for you, you can do a Healing Code on these feelings, beliefs, and the negative coping style of hypervigilance.

You can also practice POMO.

What do I mean by that?

POMO: The Peace Of Missing Out.

nobody really cares if you don't go to the party posterIn dealing with FOMSI (or FOMO), I am discovering that there can be a peace to allowing myself to miss out on something.

Or even to miss something important. If that happens, I can flex my trust muscle and pray that God will take care of it anyway.

The key is to recognize when I’m experiencing FOMO or FOMSI, and letting go of the need to know, do, or have the thing.

I have subscribed to a lot of email lists because of FOMO and FOMSI. I have attended a lot of summits because of FOMSI. (“What if the key piece of information about X is in that summit/ebook/podcast/masterclass? What if I miss it?”)

Marketers rely a lot on FOMO and FOMSI. They agitate it.

What I’m doing now, as I delete or even unsubscribe, is reinforce my faith that if I need to know something, God will bring it to me in some unmistakable way.

If I feel led to download/listen to/read the thing, and there is a peace about it, then I’ll go ahead with it.

Otherwise, I calm the fear and infuse the peace of the thought, “I don’t really need that. If I do, God will make sure I get it.”

And He has, and He does.

magazines displayed on a rackThe media also play on FOMSI (including social media). When I’m tempted to click open a news story (I never watch news, only read it at times), I ask myself (and God), “Do I really need to know this?” I briefly review my priorities, and if it doesn’t fit, I hit the delete key.

AND I allow myself to feel POMO—peace in not needing to know the thing, peace from the clarity of my goals.

The more I practice POMO–trusting that I already have what I need, and if I don’t, God will supply it, I don’t have to strive–the more I seem to get what I need, when I need it.

(By the way, that is a Truth Focus Statement I use when doing a Healing Code for FOMO or FOMSI: “God always gives me what I need, when I need it.”)

When I do miss something important, I try to notice what thoughts automatically come to mind. These indicate the unhealed “program” that feeds FOMSI. I address those thoughts and feeling in my healing work.

If you wrestle with FOMO or FOMSI, try practicing POMO. Let me know how it goes!

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ellie

I love the positive POMO idea! It is helping me stay true to me — my inner child me, and my higher self me, which helps me have clarity about what I want to engage in, what I need, when I feel Im slipping into my tendency for codependency. Less from out there is more of what is true in here! ❤️

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