How Adults Play

I had a friend who called herself “fun impaired.” I could relate.

Slowly I realized I was not fun impaired—I just didn’t find the usual “fun” things to be fun for me.

Travel—somewhat fun, but usually so overstimulating that that canceled out the “fun” part.

Ditto for anything that involved crowds.

When I was an editor at a magazine, I was gifted a junket in Europe for a week or so. I did enjoy most of it, but one of the things we did that was supposed to be “fun” was a discoteque in Germany 9I forget which city).

It was absolute hell for a Highly Sensitive Person. The loud music, pulsating lights, din of the crowds, movement movement MOVEMENT, late night, interacting (or not) with strangers. . . . It actually probably qualified as a trauma, if you go by the definition of trauma as the nervous system being completely overwhelmed. I was certainly “flooded” anyway.

And it was supposed to be FUN!

Since at the time I had no idea about this trait of high sensitivity, I just thought I didn’t know how to have fun. I was fun-impaired, I thought. I didn’t know how to play, I thought. Board games bored me. Amusement parks overstimulated me. Watching sports was often either boring (baseball, which my husband loves), or overstimulating (football on a big screen).

Understanding why I didn’t find a lot of these things fun—because of the sensitivity factor—helped me be less critical of myself.

Still, I knew that “play” was important. You know the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” I feared I was dull.

Then I read an article about how adults played, and that changed everything.

Turns out, I do play. Like, every day. Yay!

Here are some of the ways adults play, according to Dr. Stuart Brown, researcher and founder of the National Institute for Play, who has identified eight “play personalities” to help adults identify the type of play that feels most natural and enjoyable:

• The Collector: You love gathering and curating things—whether it’s stamps, vintage cars, rare books, or seashells.

• The Competitor: You thrive on games with clear rules and enjoy the challenge of winning, whether it’s a neighborhood soccer match, board game night, or fantasy football.

• The Creator: You love bringing ideas to life. Whether it’s doodling, decorating, woodworking, fixing things, or sewing, making and repairing bring you joy.

• The Director: You enjoy organizing and taking the lead. Planning events such as themed parties or coordinating group activities is your idea of fun.

• The Explorer: You experience play through discovery. It might be physical—traveling to new places—or intellectual, such as learning a new skill, exploring music, or delving into new ideas.

• The Joker: You live to make others laugh. Play for you is all about being goofy, telling jokes, or engaging in playful banter.

• The Kinesthete: You experience play through movement. Dancing, practicing yoga, hiking, or any activity that lets you move your body is where you thrive.
• The Storyteller: You love stories, whether listening to them or creating your own. You might find play in writing, acting, or telling a good story around the dinner table.

According to this, then, I am a Creator (he didn’t mention writer, but that’s me of course), Explorer (of ideas, mostly), and Storyteller (though this is the most suppressed).

Can you think of anything Dr. Brown left out? I think maybe something about interacting with nature and/or animals, or communicating on a deep level with people might be added.

How about you? Which “play personality” do you relate to, and how do you express it?