How I Stumbled upon the Key to Happiness

So here I was, dealing with an issue that seemed chronic, with no happy end in sight.

What to do?

First step is what I usually do: Pray.

“God, what do I do here? I don’t know if I can change the situation at all. It seems pretty bleak….”

One word came to me: Appreciation.

This was not a new concept for me. Appreciation is what turned around my post-partem depression some 23 years ago. I started looking for what felt like gifts from God, be they big or little. I recorded them. Eventually, those “appreciation stories” became the book of my heart, Abundant Gifts.

Sometimes we just need reminders, though.

When I’m stressed out about something, what inevitably

brings me back to Joy the quickest is appreciation.

After I got that word, I slowed down enough to see what I could appreciate in the moment.

Lots of things came to me.

It was first thing in the morning, and I relished the fact that I had no one to answer to until my first client. I made my tea, and sat down with my Halo and Bible to see what insights and treasures I might get from God’s word.

I savored the sunshine coming in the window (a rarity this spring it seemed). When a text message notification dinged, instead of feeling interrupted and annoyed, I felt glad that I had a friend who wanted to text me.

And so it went. All day I tried to turn my frustrations into moments of appreciation. When yet another technological issue came up, I thought with a chuckle how this must be God’s way of keeping my brain healthy. They say your brain stays healthy when you give it challenges. Boy, does my brain get a workout every day, just on technological issues!

When my husband came home from work, I looked for things to appreciate, and made sure I expressed them. Since his love language is “words of affirmation,” this really fills up his love tank.

(My love language is “acts of service.” Right now he is mowing the lawn. I am appreciating the things he takes care of around the house, and must make sure to tell him! I’ll overlook the dirty dishes in the sink that I have to work around to make dinner. . . . See how it works?)

I’ve often been struck that the key to healing is releasing and replacing. In healing work, we identify the negative, release it, and then replace it with the positive. That is crucial to completing the healing cycle. With The Healing Codes we use Love Pictures (which are really appreciation moments) to replace the negative memories.

As I practiced looking for things to appreciate throughout the day, I noticed my chronic issue that seemed hopeless didn’t feel as big as it did before I consciously returned to appreciation. What had shifted was not the situation, but my perspective.

Appreciation may be the biggest perspective-shifter there is. We don’t have to limit appreciation to our healing work. Appreciation is for every moment. Right now I’m releasing the frustration over the dirty dishes, and replacing it with appreciation that my husband is mowing the lawn.

These are little things. Everyday things.

But it’s the little things that bring happiness. It’s the little things that make up a life. The small decisions–to appreciate, or stay stuck in frustration–are what build the internal climate and lay the groundwork for positive or negative relationships. And it’s relationships that color the biggest part of the picture of our lives, isn’t it?

I’m finding that nothing turns things around for me like simple appreciation! At the end of the day, I like to take a few moments and think through what was good about the day. Ending on a note of appreciation, according to brain experts, actually counteracts our innate negative bias and helps us create a better reality.

I’m all in! How about you?

Challenge: Find at least 3 things to appreciate every day. Savor them. You might even want to write them down in a journal. You can use the Abundant Gifts Journal here, if you like.

And if you want some help in healing negative pictures and replacing them with positive appreciation moments, check out my Healing Codes Coaching site. Much help there of all kinds, from free to intensive coaching!