Is Anger Always Bad?
ByDo you ever struggle with anger issues?
Some people believe that anger is always bad. I’ve heard one teacher say, “Anger is a sign that you have a wrong goal.”
Well, maybe. Sometimes. But I think anger is more like a light on the car dashboard, signaling that something is wrong.
When you are abused in some way–and it can be overt or covert, subtle or blatant–I believe you are wired to get angry about it.
The problem is, when you’re a child and someone abuses you, you have no frame of reference for knowing that this thing that was done to you was bad.
No frame of reference, except that part of your human spirit that makes you angry. I believe God built something into us that tells us when something is not right.
And it’s in our spirit, not our soul. It’s an internal “lie detector” which we can actually access now. (That’s what muscle testing does: helps us feel inside our bodies what our spirit senses is true or false, good or bad for us.)
Arthur Burk, who has done much study and teaching about both the human spirit and ministering to babies in the womb, tells of a horrifying yet fascinating experiment an obstetrician conducted on his pregnant patients.
While doing an ultrasound, the doctor would speak thus to the mother, in quiet, soothing tones, “I’m very sorry, but your baby’s heart is not beating. Your baby has died in your womb.”
That was a lie. The mother didn’t know it–but the baby did! It would start kicking the mother, as if to say, “He’s a liar. I’m very much alive.”
The baby’s brain and body were not developed enough to understand what the doctor was saying. But the baby’s spirit knew–and responded! I suspect that was an angry kick! The baby’s spirit somehow picked up on the energy of the lie, because the human spirit operates on the level of energy.
Which brings me to another thing about anger: it’s an energy.
Using the Energy of Anger–Constructively
Anger carries energy. That energy often works against you. You lash out and harm a relationship, or you repress it and it goes inward and morphs into depression or addiction.
Anger is a very strong energy, and it needs to be channeled correctly.
When it’s unresolved, it can grow into bitterness. That’s the real problem–not the anger, but the bitterness and broken relationships that can come afterward.
So is anger something you should try to heal?
Go Deeper
Often I find anger is not the primary issue. I go deeper.
Is the anger really masked hurt? (This is often the case with men in particular, or when negative emotions were not allowed in one’s family.)
Has the anger turned to bitterness? Then the bitterness needs to be addressed.
Often the anger needs to be acknowledged as legitimate, and that in itself can be healing. When someone gets sad and angry on your behalf because of the abuse you experienced, that may be just the validation and comfort you need to start to heal the trauma and move on. (See my article on trauma.)
So when you’re angry, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. Is there an underlying pain of hurt and sadness to address? Has it led to bitterness, or harmful actions such as addictions that mask the pain? Address those.
Let anger be the caution light on your dashboard, alerting you that something is wrong. Heal the underlying issue.
Then use the energy of that anger to spark you to make positive changes.
And if you need help in identifying the underlying issues, I’m here to help you with some great tools that speed and deepen healing. Go to https://HealingCodesCoaching.com to find out more.
what’s the difference between Soul And Spirit?
Mehdi,
Some people don’t distinguish between the two, but Arthur Burk makes some useful distinctions, based on 1 Thessalonians 5:23: “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
The soul is more the mind, will, and (conscious) emotions, and is tied to the physical more. So, for instance, the soul develops as the brain develops. We can help the soul grow by developing better thinking habits. Soul memories are tied to brain development. These kind of memories can often, I believe, be healed through traditional psychological interventions, such as cognitive therapy. The soul is important. But the soul and body both are actually quickened by the spirit.
The human spirit is the completely non-physical part of us, and I believe starts at conception (if not before, with God; not sure how that works). The spirit has memory and feeling (deeper than emotions). The spirit memories are, I believe, what science now calls “cellular memories.” That is why one can have a “cellular memory” from the time in the womb.
Notice that in the scripture above, the order is “spirit, soul, and body.” Spirit comes first. That is why Arthur Burk can report such great results when mothers and fathers start blessing their baby’s spirit in the womb. Arthur says it gives the babies about a 10-month lead, because the “soul” doesn’t start to develop until the myelin sheath in the brain develops to a certain point. But the spirit records everything in every cell (cellular memory), and the spirit also, I believe, interacts with both soul and body.
My schematic is that the human spirit is meant to be connected to God’s Spirit, and then the human spirit is supposed to control both body and soul. That is why, when you heal the wounds of the spirit–“heart issues”–everything improves. Physical health improves because the spirit is able to instruct the body how to heal, and the blocks to healing have been removed. The soul (emotions and thought patterns, and thus relationships and ) heals because the spirit is informing and infusing the soul with truth and love. Thus relationships and one’s ability to succeed improve.
And that’s why, when you heal your spirit/heart matters with something like The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer, everything else improves. Always focus on healing the spirit and getting it in right relationship with the Source of all life. Everything else just seems to flow from that. God’s Spirit, connected with your spirit, flowing life and love to body and soul.
What’s the difference between Spirit And Soul?
Dear Diane,
I believe, that fear is to be found behind or underneath most feelings of anger. Bitterness may then arise because no one came to rescue and anger provides a sense of aliveness and action ability. You feel less disarmed and weak. As you say: anger is energy. But fear may demobilise you and leave you unprotected. So the real question could be: How can you channel your fears in a positive and useful manner? Or am I on the wrong track? What do you think, dear Diane?
Dear Christina,
You make a good point about fear. Fear is really behind most everything, isn’t it? We either come from a place of trust and love, or from fear. Fear can demobilize anything. So yes, look for the fear, and heal that.
..no, anger is not always wrong – but that shouldn’t be used as an excuse to not demonstrate the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ.
David, you are so right! My point is, when you channel anger appropriately, it need not be destructive. “Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,” St. Paul said. So we need to deal with it appropriately. When we do, we can respond with more love and grace.
Dear Diane, After our call lasi week, I went back to doing HC! returning to the 12 categories. After doing Forgiveness just once ,I suddenly felt much calmer , so I went on to Fear and Anxiety . Things then went haywire and after not having slept for 24 hours, I was overcome by rage.So the next day, I started working on category 7 for patience etc. I had a deep realization of how destructive this has been for my nerves,seeing that within the anger was a feeling of extreme impotence, helplessness,pain,frustration and other shades of emotion,all balled up into a tight knotted clenched fist in the pit of my guts.So it was not bitterness or suppression of anger but rather the fear and impotence that was drivng me crazy. After working on that( Cat. 7) I felt great and had a very good day. The next night,however, was bad again and I am feeling disheartened because I thought I had worked through the problem. Anyway, at least I learned about the destructive force of the sense of impotence which I had been feeling lately so often in the face of the words and behaviour of my (now) ex.or seeing the dangers brought upon us by stupid misguided political ideology. At least I have started seeing that as a HSP I must not involve myself emotionally or identify with negative influences – I had been feeling so naked,like everything was entering me and stabbing my guts. So now I am trying to tell the tight lump in my abdomen to dissolve and widen into a protective warming sheath all around my body.
Leontine, I’m so glad that you are doing the Healing Codes and seeing this progress (difficult as it is at times).
Yes, as a Highly Sensitive Person, you must protect yourself from negative influences. Just being aware that HSPs don’t have the normal filters “the other 80%” do can be very helpful.