Is Anger Always Bad?

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Do you ever struggle with anger issues?

Some people believe that anger is always bad. I’ve heard one teacher say, “Anger is a sign that you have a wrong goal.”

Well, maybe. Sometimes. But I think anger is more like a light on the car dashboard, signaling that something is wrong.

When you are abused in some way–and it can be overt or covert, subtle or blatant–I believe you are wired to get angry about it.

The problem is, when you’re a child and someone abuses you, you have no frame of reference for knowing that this thing that was done to you was bad.

No frame of reference, except that part of your human spirit that makes you angry. I believe God built something into us that tells us when something is not right.

And it’s in our spirit, not our soul. It’s an internal “lie detector” which we can actually access now. (That’s what muscle testing does: helps us feel inside our bodies what our spirit senses is true or false, good or bad for us.)

Arthur Burk, who has done much study and teaching about both the human spirit and ministering to babies in the womb, tells of a horrifying yet fascinating experiment an obstetrician conducted on his pregnant patients.

While doing an ultrasound, the doctor would speak thus to the mother, in quiet, soothing tones, “I’m very sorry, but your baby’s heart is not beating. Your baby has died in your womb.”

That was a lie. The mother didn’t know it–but the baby did! It would start kicking the mother, as if to say, “He’s a liar. I’m very much alive.”

The baby’s brain and body were not developed enough to understand what the doctor was saying. But the baby’s spirit knew–and responded! I suspect that was an angry kick! The baby’s spirit picked up on the energy of the lie, because the human spirit operates on the level of energy.

Which brings me to another thing about anger: it’s an energy.

Using the Energy of Anger–Constructively

Anger carries energy. That energy often works against you. You lash out and harm a relationship, or you repress it and it goes inward and morphs into depression or addiction.

Anger is a very strong energy, and it needs to be channeled correctly.

When it’s unresolved, it can grow into bitterness. That’s the real problem–not the anger, but the bitterness and broken relationships that can come afterward.

So is anger something you should try to heal?

Go Deeper

Often I find anger is not the primary issue. I go deeper.

Is the anger really masked hurt? (This is often the case with men in particular, or when negative emotions were not allowed in one’s family.)

Has the anger turned to bitterness? Then the bitterness needs to be addressed.

Often the anger needs to be acknowledged as legitimate, and that in itself can be healing. When someone gets sad and angry on your behalf because of the abuse you experienced, that may be just the validation and comfort you need to start to heal the trauma and move on. (See my article on trauma.)

So when you’re angry, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. Is there an underlying pain of hurt and sadness to address? Has it led to bitterness, or harmful actions such as addictions that mask the pain? Address those.

Let anger be the caution light on your dashboard, alerting you that something is wrong. Heal the underlying issue.

And then use the energy of that anger to spark you to make positive changes.

And if you need help in identifying the underlying issues, I’m here to help you with some great tools that speed and deepen healing. Go to https://HealingCodesCoaching.com to find out more.

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mehdi
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mehdi

what’s the difference between Soul And Spirit?

mehdi
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mehdi

What’s the difference between Spirit And Soul?

Christina Grønbech
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Christina Grønbech

Dear Diane,
I believe, that fear is to be found behind or underneath most feelings of anger. Bitterness may then arise because no one came to rescue and anger provides a sense of aliveness and action ability. You feel less disarmed and weak. As you say: anger is energy. But fear may demobilise you and leave you unprotected. So the real question could be: How can you channel your fears in a positive and useful manner? Or am I on the wrong track? What do you think, dear Diane?

David Duchene
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David Duchene

..no, anger is not always wrong – but that shouldn’t be used as an excuse to not demonstrate the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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