The Question That Can Lead To Breakthroughs
By · CommentsWhat do you do when you find yourself in circumstances that you don’t like one bit, that you struggle to accept? (Or wonder if you should accept or try to change it?)
Somehow I stumbled upon an approach that has led to a breakthrough in my attitude and experience.
A question that totally shifts the perspective.
The question: What good might come from this (situation, experience, circumstance)?
It is a faith question, based on the biblical promise that “for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, ESV).
If you love God, are following him as best you can, you are called according to his purpose, and you can claim this promise.
So then, you can trust that God is working all things together for good somehow.
And if that’s true, then you can also ask the question, “What good might come from this?” and start to imagine answers.
When you do that, what happens? You get out of fear mode (or resentment, or anger, or resignation, or whatever it is you feel about the situation you don’t like that you can’t change), and curiosity takes over. You begin to imagine possible ways this might actually turn out for good.
How many times have you heard about people with cancer, for instance, who say that though they never would have chosen it, the cancer was the best thing that ever happened to them because of how it changed them for the better?
That’s not to say that the thing itself, such as a degenerative disease, is at all good. It’s just holding onto the trust that God can bring something good out of it.
Of course, you don’t know how it will turn out for good. But imagining how it might, changes everything.
And if you add to it prayer, and keeping a gifts journal to notice the good things that are still coming into your life (a practice that always pulls me out of the pit of depression), you may see a breakthrough in your experience of that situation.
Another thing a “gifts journal” does for me is to remind me how creative God is. I find he is always surprising me with how he works things out. This too bolsters my faith. How he actually works good from these circumstances will probably turn out to be something I’m not even imagining yet, or some combination of what I envision (or glimpse now) and his own surprising creativity.
One thing is sure, though: it will cause me to thank and praise him, and will likely delight if not astonish me. And it will make the trial seem quite worthwhile.
At the very least, it leads me to more peace, heaps of hope, and even the joy of anticipation (“how will he bless me through this?”).
And that, dear friend, has led to a total breakthrough in how I’m experiencing my current circumstances, that I once thought unbearable. I hope it will for you, too,.
The One (Unconscious) Belief That Blocks Healing
By · CommentsHave you done “all the things” to get better, yet nothing seems to work, at least not for long?
Are you doing Healing Codes faithfully, eating clean food, exercising, etc, yet still your (fill in the blank: autoimmune condition, disease, fatigue, weight etc.) is not getting better?
There is one belief that, if not addressed through very specific means, will hamper your healing, no matter what else you do.
And the thing is, this belief is totally unconscious. It’s held in the body, below your awareness—and it’s triggered in a nanosecond, without you even realizing it.
What’s that belief? It’s your body’s sense that you are not safe.
It is a purely physical response that happens automatically. It is the biology of trauma. The response happens on a cellular level. When the cell senses “danger,” as in the stress of demand exceeding capacity, it will stay in a state of being closed down. No healing can happen if enough cells are in this “danger” mode.
In his seminal book, The Biology of Belief, Dr. Bruce Lipton shows how our beliefs affect the environment of the cell. If the cell “feels safe,” it will stay in open, healing mode. If it does not feel safe, it will be in closed, sick mode.
Dr. Robert Naviaux, a professor of medicine, pediatrics, and pathology at the University of California, San Diego (UCSD). coined the term “cell danger response” in a 2013 paper that has sparked all kinds of research into what it means when cells are “stuck” in cell danger mode. Basically, it’s what Dr. Lipton said: a cell in “danger mode” will be unable to function normally.
The dysfunction begins at the cellular level, so it needs to be addressed on the cellular level, and in the context of belief.
We know that The Healing Codes can address the energy information pattern on that cellular level. We can neutralize the negativity of the cellular memory or belief, and pull the cell out of “danger” response to “safety mode.”
What we need to do is, on a very consistent basis, signal safety to your nervous system. This is how we can, because of the brain’s ability to change (called neuroplasticity), actually rewire the brain.
Isn’t that good news?
The trauma experts often recommend consistently retraining your nervous system through some sort of somatic means. I have been using Dr. Elizabeth Stanley’s exercises in the Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT) and book, Widen the Window: Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma, in conjunction with The Healing Codes. I’ve seen very good results.
And here’s how I recommend doing The Healing Codes for this.
Preparation
1. Bring to mind a time, place for perhaps relationship that does or did make you feel safe. This can be “real” or imagined. For instance, I once had a dream where God whisked me away to a castle with a moat around it where I was totally safe. That became my image of safety.
You might also use a Truth Focus Statement, such as, “God is my refuge, and I am completely safe from all harm as I trust in Him.”
See if you can access a felt sense of safety in your body with your Truth Focus Statement or image.
Bring to mind a time when you feel unsafe. Just allow something to come up. Don’t dwell on it now.
2. Start with some sort of mindfulness exercise. I suggest signing up on Elizabeth Stanley’s mailing list: you get a free audio of her Contact Points exercise, which is a great starting point for retraining your nervous system. If you know breathing or other techniques that regulate your nervous system, use that.
Doing Your Healing Code
3. When doing your Healing Code, you will heal the feeling/belief that “I’m not safe.” Put your hand on your heart and allow to come up a time when you felt unsafe. Where do you feel that in your body? See if you can connect with that sensation, rather than the thought.
4. Ask yourself, “What is the first time I felt that sensation in my body?” See what comes up. Don’t worry if nothing specific comes up. You may have a vague sense of a particular period of your life. Or a kind of situation that often feels unsafe for you. Work with that.
5. Say the prayer of intention:
“Dear God, please find, open and heal the source of any disease or dysfunciton in spirit, soul, mind or body, especially [can add any physical concerns], with any connection to feeling unsafe and the belief that I’m unsafe, from [add memories; if none come to mind, say, “the source memories”], by filling me with your love, life and light. Please also magnify the effectiveness of this healing to the maximum level for my highest good, at an optimal pace, and restore everything–spirit, soul, mind and body–to your original, intended design. Thank you, God, for your willingness and ability to do these things.”
6. Now, as you point using The Healing Code, bring to mind your image of safety or your Truth Focus Statement. If other thoughts or feelings emerge, that’s OK. Gently lay them aside and return to your focus on the felt sense in your body of safety from your image or Truth Focus Statement.
7. Do this for at least 6 minutes, at least twice a day. You might also do Contact Points at other times of the day, especially if you feel triggered. If you do get triggered in the now, make sure you address it and add that to your Healing Code Prayer of Intention.
8. Keep it up! All the experts say that it’s consistency, rather than how much time you spend in the practice, that makes the difference.
Your cells might be “stuck” in the “danger response” from years of being in cell danger response. It takes a while to reset your nervous system. Never get discouraged; your brain and body are wired to heal. It just doesn’t happen overnight.
Surrender
By · CommentsThe other day, these words popped into my mind, unbidden: “Just because something was good, doesn’t mean it was meant to last forever.”
I’m chewing on that one now, as a way to help me come to grips with letting go of what I used to love.
I’m not one to embrace change readily. I don’t rearrange the furniture in my house, I grouse to myself every time I have to update some piece of software (which, as you know, happens daily for many of us).
Yet the world marches on with changes in everything: technology, our bodies, relationships, the world scene. Uncertainty reigns.
Some people love change. They tell me it keeps life exciting. No doubt. I do like variety . . . as long as I can choose it, I realize. But most of the changes feel foisted upon us, and at least for this sensitive person, it sometimes seems all I can do to keep up, let alone initiate good changes myself.
Yet we do have a choice about our response to change: we can either fight it or embrace it, or at least accept it.
As I’ve tried to find my footing in the face of change and letting go, have been pondering a certain passage from the Bible:
“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.” (Genesis 32:24)
Photo by Jason Pofahl
What struck me was that “a man” (whom commentators say was Jesus in what they call an Old Testament theophony) came and wrestled with Jacob. Jacob didn’t wrestle with him, God wrestled with Jacob. All night. Jacob stood his ground, until the man puts his hip socket out of joint and ended the wrestling match. Jacob had no choice then but to surrender.
I heard an interview recently with renowned trauma expert Gabor Maté, who confessed that he has never been able to surrender to any spiritual source as many have who then report a sense of peace. I too have trouble surrendering.
I wonder if in this season of my life God is actually “wrestling” with me, trying to get me to surrender certain expectations and let Him have His way.
I just learned there is a kind of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment therapy. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of psychotherapy that helps individuals manage difficult thoughts and feelings by accepting them rather than struggling against them, and by committing to actions that align with their personal values.
It’s a mindfulness-based approach that aims to increase psychological flexibility, allowing people to live more meaningful lives despite dealing with unpleasant emotions and experiences. Instead of trying to eliminate or control negative thoughts and feelings, as some therapies do, ACT focuses on accepting them, while also committing to actions aligned with one’s values.
I think my “Wonderful Counselor” (one of the names of Jesus in the book of Isaiah) is wanting to use ACT on me! But he’s doing it in such a gentle, patient way. Slowly helping me first to see, then to feel, accept, some difficult emotions and experiences.
He’s been working on it with me for years, starting in 2007 when I first started doing The Healing Codes. I sense He’s not bothered in the least that it’s taking me so long.
The Healing Codes certainly paved the way. You might say it laid down the road to healing, removing trees and rocks and even perhaps building a bridge. Creating the pathway to inner healing.
But a method wasn’t all that was needed. While my years with The Healing Codes helped tremendously, circumstances kept hitting like increasingly more ferocious storms that knocked down more trees and created barriers and even damaged the bridge.
So, more clearing and rebuilding had to take place.
Along the way, I discovered that I needed more than a clear path and a roadmap. I needed a Guide who, like the GPS that could see more than I could at any given moment, knew where the further blocks were and could guide me through the detours.
That Guide is God, of course. It is Immanuel, the God who is with me every moment. The God who can break into my mind at odd moments and tell me things like, “Just because something was good, doesn’t mean it was meant to last forever” to nudge me to let go.
The God who will mysteriously show up and wrestle with me, all night if need be, and “put my hip out of joint” if need be, to help me cling to him after letting go of The Thing.
Endings are difficult. Grief is unpleasant. Letting go is often painful. Surrendering is scary.
But if we finally do let go, allow the ending, allow the hip to be put out of joint, what we will probably find is the One we cling to is perfectly able to fulfill every single promise He’s given.
What we might find is peace.
I say “probably” and “might,” because, in all truth, I’m still wrestling. I’m not sure I’m surrendered. I’m still not clear what all I need to let go of, or how to do it. So I start with baby steps, letting go of tangible things like physical and digital clutter.
I seek to notice, with nonjudgmental curiosity, the thoughts that are like sticks and stones on my path to healing. Mental and emotional clutter are way more challenging to see than the physical.
Ahead of me on this path is my Guide, doing the heavy lifting of clearing the way ahead, and looking back at me often to encourage me and beckon me on. He tells me that letting go means sometimes glancing behind me at where I’ve been, but never turning back.
Sometimes He just comes alongside and holds my hand as we walk. Sometimes He suggests we sit down and rest awhile, or listen to music, or read a book together.
And sometimes He just holds me while I cry, patting my back and telling me it’s all right to cry, and He’s glad to be with me no matter how I feel. Something my little wounded inner children need to hear and take in.
Photo by Rachel McDermott
He’s telling me now, “Healing is not a destination in this life, but it is a path. And I am with you all the way, until you do reach the final Destination, your heavenly Home. You’ll never ‘arrive’ in this life, so just relax and enjoy the journey with Me. There are many delights along the way, and you will be able to see them more clearly, and see more of them, the further you journey with Me.”
In faith, I cling to that as I limp on. Perhaps I have surrendered after all.
P.S. After I wrote this, it became clear what I need to surrender: expectations.
Does Your Capacity Exceed The Demands On You?
By · CommentsDr. Aimie Apigian is an M.D. and a trauma expert. In her new and highly recommended book, The Biology of Trauma: How the Body Holds Fear, Pain, and Overwhelm, and How to Heal It, she talks about how trauma is not an event, but the body’s reaction to something that at one point overwhelmed the nervous system, and triggered a trauma response: either fight or flight, freeze, or fawn.
If the trauma response was not properly dispersed at the time, it can get stored in the nervous system. Then whenever some event similar to the first trauma occurs, the body/brain may have the same trauma response.
No doubt you’ve experienced this yourself. Did you ever “fly off the handle” over some little thing and wonder what on earth set you off? You got dysregulated. At that moment, the demand on your nervous system, possibly triggered by some unconscious unhealed “heart issue,” exceeded your capacity.
Dr. Apigian points out the demand can be great or small. But any time demand exceeds the system’s capacity to deal with it, a trauma response occurs.
The original trauma may not seem like a trauma to an outsider, or to the adult person, but that does not matter. This explains why someone can feel like they did not have trauma in their background, when really they did. And it explains why one can be “triggered” easily whenever their capacity is low, even if the demand is not very great.
Dr. Elizabeth Stanley talks similarly about the “window of tolerance” in her book, Widen the Window: Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma. A person with a wide window is more easily able to function effectively during stressful and challenging events, as well as recover afterwards. They will be more resilient and flexible, tolerant of uncertainty, comfortable with curve-balls and change, and they can stay socially connected during stress.
Someone with a narrow window of tolerance will be easily anxious, irritated, or overwhelmed; less resilient, more distracted; their decisions are more likely to be impulsive or reactive; and they will likely have more interpersonal challenges.
Additionally, those with a “highly sensitive” nervous system will inherently experience more demands because their nervous system takes in more information, and processes it all more deeply—all of which are demands on the nervous system.
What Does Your Home Say About Your Heart?
By · CommentsHow do you feel about housework, decorating, tending to your home?
Hate it, tolerate it, enjoy it, avoid it? (I had a friend for whom hiring a housekeeper was a non-negotiable expense. She never even owned a vacuum cleaner.)
While I’ve never really minded housework or decorating, I never really got around to doing it as often as I actually wanted to. There always seemed to be higher priorities, both in terms of time and money, and besides, I “should” do it myself, right?
These days, however, I find myself looking around my home and feeling like I’ve really neglected it over the years.
Awareness started as I delved back into Stephanie Bennett Vogt’s A Year to Clear What’s Holding You Back. One of the lessons nailed something for me that I can no longer ignore: I’ve treated my home with the same neglect I grew up with, and continued to practice myself.
This particular lesson featured an audio meditation in which she led us to get quiet, visualize our home, and see afresh how we feel about the entrance we habitually take.
Since I usually go in and out through the attached garage, I started there in my visualization. What did I see?
the garage
The usual garage clutter: boxes that housed various yard maintenance equipment (whether we still had the equipment or not), said equipment, trash cans, shelves with oil cans, car-washing accouterments (when was the last time we washed the car ourselves?), empty boxes, a bag of mulch that is probably soil by now, other lawn and gardening supplies we haven’t used.
But I might have time someday to get back to it, you know.
From the garage I enter the utility or “mudroom.” This room is truly utilitarian: washer, dryer, sink, closet, cabinets housing the spillover from the kitchen, bathroom, and other rooms. It’s a truly useful room, but . . . not very pretty.
entering the mudrom
In particular, I never liked the color of the walls, a green reminiscent of pea soup. When we first bought the house, I said the first thing I’d do was paint that room. I’m too embarrassed to tell you how long we’ve lived in this house and never painted those walls.
That room cried out for beauty, order, and simplicity.
Beauty, order, simplicity. My soul is also craving those things these days.
Next Stephanie led us to see where our heart moved us. I found myself mentally wandering into my office. First feeling, hitting me like a load of bricks? Overwhelm.
my corner office
So much INFORMATION in that room! Books, files, binders full of notes from the countless online courses I’ve taken. Not to mention the tech paraphernalia and office supplies lurking in my desk drawers.
It’s. All. Too. Much.
One of Stephanie’s reflection questions was, What does your home tell you about yourself?
My answer was clear. It told me I craved beauty, order, and simplicity, and that I have been neglecting my home like I’ve neglected myself.
It also showed me that I have a lot of shame to heal about the self-neglect.
I applied my healing techniques and self-compassion to that shame.Today, when I cleaned my house, I did it with an attitude of gratitude for my home, and a resolve to give it, as well as my body and soul, the attention they all deserve.
Author and coach Cheryl Richardson did a “Zoom gathering” on “Living Clutter-Free in the Wisdom Years,” and she had a very interesting spin on clutter that you who understand energy will appreciate. She acknowledged a conversation with Dr. Bruce Lipton on how our environment has a huge influence on our genes, turning them on or off (a science called epigenetics).
Clutter is not neutral; it affects our health. It can either support our genetic expression, or turn on the “negative” genes.
She convinced me that eliminating clutter and creating beauty, order and simplicity is not something that is optional in these, my “wisdom years” as Cheryl calls them. The effort begs to be a priority. Our health and future quality of life may well depend on it.
Have you ever thought of clutter that way? I haven’t. I knew disorder and clutter can spike stress and cortisol—there are studies on that. But turning on or off gene expression? Wow!Let’s make it personal.
Think about your own home, and how you tend to it (or not so much). Take a mental tour of each room and check with your heart how you feel about each one. Allow the feelings, and learn from them.
Address any heart issues that need attention, like the shame and self-neglect that came up for me. (Another thing I’ve been working on is what I call my “not enough and too much” issue. In this context, the fear of not enough leads me to take in too much, and that leads to the overwhelm I often feel.)
What would you like more of in your home? What would you like less of? Does it satisfy your deepest soul needs, whether it be for beauty, order and simplicity as it is for me, or something else?
What will your next steps be to bring more life into your home? What tiny action can you take in that direction? (Make it tiny as you start; maybe you’ll gain momentum, but if not at first, don’t worry. Remember my motto: “a little bit is better than nothing.”)
Feel free to comment below on your experience with this little coaching session.
Taxes, ChatGPT, and God’s Sense Of Humor
By · CommentsTax day in the USA is April 15, so I’ve been slogging away all week at my taxes.
I usually don’t wait until the last minute, but this year I had a vexing question that I couldn’t seem to get an answer to from anywhere. It had to do with the kind of trust we put the home into.
My lawyer said, “Consult a tax attorney” but cautioned that unless I had them do my entire taxes, no one would probably even consult with me. That proved to be true.
So, for the heck of it, I consulted ChatGPT.
And you know what? I got good information! I finally got the right questions to ask my attorney, went back to the AI bot with the attorney’s answers, and seemed to get the answer I needed.
This was a week ago. I was finally ready to sit down and finish my taxes.
That very morning, I came across something in my daily Bible reading that made me laugh out loud.
I’ve read through the entire Bible every 2 years since 2024. This particular year, I’m using The Daily Bible, which is broken up into Old and New Testament readings, plus some verses in between that can be a basis for prayer.
On this particular day, when the main task of the day was to do my taxes, of all the passages from the whole Bible that could have been selected for that day, I came across Romans 13:6-7:
“For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Give to everyone what is owed him: taxes to whom taxes are due; revenue to whom revenue is due; respect to whom respect is due; honor to whom honor is due. Owe nothing to anyone but to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.”
Not only did I laugh out loud, I sensed God’s smile, too. It felt like he was saying, “Don’t think that what you have to do today is mundane and of no importance. Everything can be done for me, and with my help.”
And he would make it fun! Or at least bearable. I smiled every time I thought of coming across that verse. And I asked him to be with me every step of the way.
As I discovered, I still needed help. My situation was so nuanced, even ChatGPT and the tax program support team went back and forth about it. I just kept feeding them more details, and finally, at last, I came up with the right answer and what to do. Which I chalk up to God’s answering my prayer to guide me through.
Photo by Dimitri Karastelev
(Some people ask me why I do my own taxes. Well, for one, the hard part is gathering the right information, which I’d have to do either way. Two, once when I did hire an accountant, I paid him $600 to watch him input the information into a tax program—the easy part that I could do myself. When I tried to learn something by asking him questions, he seemed miffed. What was I paying him for, anyway?)
I used FreeTaxUSA last year and this year, and I like them a LOT. I got the Deluxe Support, which was well worth $8. Highly recommended. I learned even more about taxes this year, through them and ChatGPT.
Which brings me to something I find fascinating about ChatGPT, and probably other AI models as well. They do some things we can all learn from.
One thing I noticed about the chatbot is how downright nice it was. Every answer to my questions started with some kind of affirmation:
-
“Great question! Let’s break this down clearly so you can handle it correctly on your taxes.”
-
“Ah — I see exactly where the confusion is, and it’s a really good, subtle tax question. Let’s go step by step.”
-
“You’re very welcome! That sounds like a smart plan — clean and simple. 👍”
-
“Ah — now this is a very important clarification, and I’m glad you pointed it out!”
-
Ahhh — now we are getting to the heart of it. Yes, this does change things — and it’s good you brought this up.”
Not only was it so encouraging and affirming, but the tone was super helpful and focused on solving my problems:
-
“Let me know if you need any further clarification or help with those deductions!”
-
“If you want, I can help you set up a quick worksheet to prorate your home office deductions for 2024 . . . Would you like me to build that worksheet for you? It’ll save time when you file your 2024 taxes!”
-
“If anything else pops up as you finish things up, just let me know! Happy to help you get it all sorted. 🌟”
Sounds like I’m dealing with a real person, doesn’t it? A real nice, helpful person.
And therein is where I get wary. I mean, if people are lulled into using AI over real human interaction, that is a problem. Much research proves how important face-to-face human interaction is for our emotional and physical health. (It is, for instance, one of the key factors in preventing cognitive decline.)
Did you catch what some of those things are from the above?
Here’s what one Wall Street Journal article pointed out:
“New research finds that large language models can outshine humans when it comes to showing empathy. What’s their secret? They stay focused on the speaker, validate feelings, and ask thoughtful questions. What they don’t do is rush in with advice or a personal anecdote, shifting the spotlight onto themselves.”
Another caution: AI is not always accurate. I called it on several things. At least twice, it said it was doing something for me but didn’t follow through correctly. The Excel files it said were all populated with the right fields were blank, for instance. I’ve caught them in other mistakes or even downright deflections, avoiding answering my questions directly.
Here’s the thing, though: the bot quickly admitted the mistake, and moved on to correct it. Something some humans find very difficult to do.
The machines are learning from us all the time. We might as well turn the tables and learn what we can from the bots about fostering better relationships through being a better listener, focusing on the other person, and admitting mistakes.
We’ll become better humans in the process.
The Healing Codes and the Placebo Effect
By · CommentsSomeone asked me if I recommended a particular energy healing device, and I said no. I’ve seen the many ads for it and it’s all marketing, no science even claimed to be behind it.
As a trained “master of web copywriting” from the Web Copywriting University, I know how to spot all the gimmicks and tricks to get you to buy. (And I don’t use most of them, as they are designed to manipulate. After I took the training, I realized I didn’t want to be that kind of copywriter.)
However, such devices and tools feature many convincing testimonials, and I believe a lot of them are true. People really do get healed. Why? (And why don’t many people get healed?)
Enter the placebo effect.
You’re probably familiar with it. It’s where a person experiences a positive outcome or improvement in their condition due to the belief in the treatment, even if the treatment itself is inactive or a sham.
The placebo effect is powerful. In his book, The Biology of Belief, cell biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton explains in detail how it works. Our beliefs powerfully affect how our cells operate, whether they are in open, healing mode (positive, true beliefs), or closed, disease mode (negative, false beliefs). So, if you believe something will help you, it probably will. This is why “social proof”–i.e. testimonials—are so powerful. “If it works for so many people, it will work for me” is the belief the advertisers want you to form.
And if you believe that strongly enough, it probably will work for you, and you will add your testimonial to the social proof. And on it goes.
So, do the Healing Codes work solely because of the placebo effect?
I say no, and here’s why.
1. It works on a person even if they don’t believe it, or know that a Healing Code is being done for them.
Dalton, April 18, 2014, age 2 1/2
Proof: The most dramatic, and persuasive, proof is the testimonial from one of my clients who did custom Healing Codes for her then-young son who had strabismus, an eye condition. The mom, Heather Perry, sent me a detailed account with pictures of the four-months she did Healing Codes for her son, and the results. You can look at that here.
There was no possibility of placebo effect in that situation, since the son was too young to understand and had no idea what his parents were doing for him.
Another similar instance was the story of Vinny, who had an inoperable but benign brain tumor. His grandmother did custom Healing Codes for him (and so did some of my Healing Codes community), and eventually the tumor was completely gone, astounding the doctors.
2. Healing Codes can work on pets, and of course the pet is not subject to placebo effect. However, animals can have negative memories, and/or they can pick up on our negative energy.
Millie
Here’s an example from my own life. And I’ve given custom Healing Codes to clients for their pets, and quite often there is healing for both the pet and the client.
I need to remind you of something important about The Healing Codes. Sometimes people wait until “the point of no return” to start doing Healing Codes on their pets or themselves. You do not usually get overnight results, given the way the Healing Codes work. Remember that all the Healing Codes do is neutralize the destructive energy in the negative memories and beliefs, which are at the source of all our issues.
Once this energy clears, the body has access to more positive energy to heal itself, which it’s wired to do (thank the Creator). This usually takes time.
However, with pets, if you do it early enough, the healing seems to be quicker, if they’re not too far along in some disease process.
I’ve often said that The Healing Codes are more like the Vitamin C you take every day to stay healthy, than the antibiotic you would take for 14 days to knock out an infection. You can use them, even if you’re skeptical they will work. (When I first started, I was skeptical myself. I did them out of curiosity, and the conviction that it couldn’t hurt me to sit down and focus on the positive for at lest 6 minutes, twice a day. The results exceeded my expectations.)
If you’re considering investing in some fancy energy tool (the only one I think is worth it is the HOLOS), try the Healing Codes first. It’s free, and it works!
Are The Healing Codes All You Need To Be Healed?
By · CommentsI get this question sometimes, and it’s a natural one to ask.
Are the Healing Codes all you need to be healed?
The short answer is, Maybe, maybe not.
Keep in mind what The Healing Codes do: they heal the negative images and beliefs in the (spiritual) heart by canceling the negative frequency in those images and beliefs, and thus allowing the natural healing processes God built into creation to work optimally.
We believe the spiritual “heart issues” are at the root of other issues—relational, spiritual, physical, and in terms of success. Therefore, healing heart issues paves the way for healing in all these other life challenges.
If you just need to heal some key negative memories that are “bleeding into” your current life, and you address them with The Healing Codes, that may be all you need. This is why, I believe, so many people do find a lot of healing just with the universal Healing Code.
Here’s the thing, though: If you’ve ignored this kind of healing heart issues all your life, the negative energy in your cells have had a chance to build and build on themselves, and that could result in a disease process, or an emotional breakdown of some sort. Once this process takes root, it’s likely you’ll need other things to augment The Healing Codes. But always remember to address the heart issues along with any other things you are led to try.
I see The Healing Codes as foundational, and preventative. I personally think everyone can benefit from at least a daily regular Healing Code session to deal with the “heart issues” that inevitably come up.
If something really bothers you, it’s likely attached to some unhealed memory that you can address with a Healing Code. This will then alleviate stress and increase your emotional resilience.
If you have a more serious issue, you may need to do more “house cleaning” of your heart issues. Do Healing Codes more often, for longer. Address whatever is coming up for you in terms of negative emotions, images, beliefs and/or destructive behaviors.
You may have to augment it with other treatments at this point. It’s not either Healing Codes or, say, therapy, but both the Healing Codes and whatever therapy you need. As Michael Thomas, inventor of the Halo that many cancer clinics use, would say, “All hoses on the fire.”
I have had clients do chemotherapy and Healing Codes, for instance. We would include in the Prayer of Intention, “Please find, open and heal the source of any disease or dysfunction in spirit, soul, mind or body, especially the cancer and any negative effects of the treatments. . . .” etc., and they would have minimal to no side effects.
At one point a couple of years ago, I needed major surgery for a problem that I was finally convinced could not be healed in any other way. Doing my Healing Codes, I believe, helped me hear from God as to the right surgeon to choose (which was key to this kind of surgery), helped me stay positive and focused on my healing of not only that issue, but a medical trauma from very early in life that was still affecting me. The outcome for me was unusually good. (Four doctors had told me, “this kind of surgery is rarely successful.” I had to change that negative belief and trust God could and would heal me.)
Another thing the Healing Codes did for me was to gently prepare me for facing and healing deep traumas I didn’t realize I had, until settling my mother’s estate brought me face to face with what my childhood was really like. I don’t know that I would have been able or willing to do the work needed to heal my complex trauma if I hadn’t had all those years of Healing Codes work under my belt.
If you have something like complex trauma, you may need other therapies such as somatic nervous system regulation practices or Internal Family Systems. Again, Healing Codes can augment such therapies nicely. Healing Codes also help you move quicker through the therapy, and the therapy helps you know what heart issues to work on outside of your therapy sessions.
Healing Codes can be the hand that fits inside of many different gloves for healing.
I urge you, though, to use them even if you don’t have any “serious” physical, mental or emotional issues. You never know what is happening under the surface. Usually when things manifest, it’s because they have festered for a long time.
I like this quote from Cheryl Richardson’s book, Waking Up in Winter: “Something Thomas, my first coach, told me during one of our early sessions: ‘Life gives you messages,‘ he warned, ‘and if you don’t get the message, you’ll get a lesson. If you don’t learn the lesson, you are sure to get a problem, and if you don’t handle the problem, you’ll get a full – blown crisis.’”
Let’s pay attention to those little messages life (and I would add, your body), give. At the earliest sign of angst, get curious about what’s behind it. Then address it with Healing Codes. You never know what dysfunctions that may stave off.
The Energizer Bunny vs. the Eufy
By · CommentsI have this robotic vacuum called the Eufy.
“Tim,” all charged up and ready to go!
It’s amazing to me how it seems to get every inch of the floor, and somehow detects the edge of the stairs and doesn’t go tumbling down the staircase. It can get under furniture, and does not connect with anything “smart” so I know my home isn’t being surveilled. (This is one of the main reasons I got this particular one, and I’m pleased with it.)
Eufy is, I must say, very cute. Something about it seems very focused as it goes about its job of picking up the amazing amount of dust and dirt that accumulates every week on our floors, undetected by the naked eye for the most part. (We take off our shoes when in the house, we have air filters, but still, all that dust and dirt somehow creep in.)
Eufy is so fun, my daughter dubbed it “Tim.”
“Tim” is very serious about his job. He goes about it in a way that makes sense to him, but seems random to me. He doesn’t always get every speck of debris, but he’s pretty thorough.
Tim knows exactly what to do when his job is finished. When his energy indicator light goes from blue to orange, he finishes any areas he may have missed, and then he makes a beeline toward his docking station. There he rests, orange light blinking, until he’s fully recharged. When that happens, the light turns blue again and he’s ready to tackle another level of my home. (We have three.)
I could take a lesson from Tim here. When my “blue energy light goes to orange”–i.e. I’m running out of energy, around 8pm—I should slow down and get ready to recharge.
Another thing about “Tim”: he is dependent on me to keep him going. I have to plug in the charger. I have to clean him out before he can tackle another job.
Contrast all this with the Energizer Bunny, that symbol of endurance and relentless energy. (I found out from ChatGPT that this commercial was first aired on October 30, 1989. Its iconic image was featured in the 2025 Super Bowl ad, which showcased a lineup of iconic brand mascots collaborating to deliver groceries on game day. It’s become a symbol of endless energy and unstoppable momentum.)
It’s also a symbol of the cultural value of productivity: you’re supposed to go and go and go until you succeed, until you get to the top of the ladder.
For most of my life, I followed the Energizer Bunny way (or tried to). Until I burned out.
Few people can keep up an “Energizer Bunny” pace. (One person who seems to be able to is President Donald Trump. Love him or hate him, you have to admit he seems to have superhuman energy. People say he never sleeps. I wonder if someday things will catch up with him. I pray he can continue for as long as he needs to.)
I am trading in the Energizer Bunny for the Eufy. “Tim” knows when it’s time to stop and recharge. (So do cats and dogs and just about everything else in nature. It’s just us humans who think of ourselves more as machines than creatures.)
“Tim” is also dependent on me. Energizer Bunny has all the energy already inside it . . . until it runs out. Then there’s no recourse. “Tim” can be recharged again and again, from a power source outside of himself.
I am dependent on God for the energy, which can be renewed any time I go back to him and rest. Come to think of it, God seems to think we need such recharging once a week. Remember the Sabbath . . .?
Ahhhhh . . .
“Misery Loves Company”-Why?
By · CommentsI was getting to know a new acquaintance the other day, and the conversation drifted to the time when my mother died and I had to settle her estate with a co-executor who had her own views of reality. I mentioned it was a very toxic situation, with the fallout being I had to cut myself off from two of my siblings and their families.
My new friend quickly shared she’d had a very similar experience. We compared notes, and offered each other empathy. I shared a detail that shocked her. “I just can’t imagine what that would be like,” she said.
There’s a saying that “misery loves company.” I thought of that as my friend and I talked.
Why does misery love company?
I don’t think it’s because we’re intrinsically mean. I think it’s something else altogether.
When Cathy was shocked by the detail I shared, I felt validated.
It really was that bad, what I went through. Cathy saw it, and validated it with her empathy.
I validated her situation, too. It really was bad for both of us.
My therapist friend told me that every single client of hers who has Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) has a part of them that believes “it wasn’t really that bad.” We minimize the experience for two reasons: to minimize the pain, and because we were constantly gaslit to believe it wasn’t that bad. We must be the problem if we think there was a problem.
When someone listens, really listens, and empathizes with the emotion behind what you’re saying, that validation is quite healing. I’m not talking mere sympathy here, where you feel sorry for someone. Empathy is when you feel with another person—and they can tell the difference. Sympathy can be demeaning, but empathy is validating.
I think that’s one of the most valuable aspects of good coaching. Some clients have never really been heard or seen and validated for who they are or how they feel. In a supportive group, it can be even more powerful.
Being validated by another person is crucial, but so is self-validation. Be kind and compassionate to yourself when difficult feelings or memories arise, and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with what you have, and have always done that. Remind yourself how much God loves you: Jesus died for you. You are loved, honored, and precious in God’s sight (Isaiah 43:4).
Plus—probably anyone would feel the way you do if they were in your shoes. (Anyone with a heart who isn’t being gaslit, that is.)
Jesus healed through compassion (Matthew 9:36, 14:14, 15:32). He extends that to you. You can add self-compassion to that as well.
Misery loves company only until the misery is validated. Validation triggers release, and then you (or another person) can move on.
