Archive for compassion

The 3 C’s of Healing

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Ever since I embarked on this healing journey, for myself and others, I have been fascinated, perhaps even obsessed, with what makes people heal (and, conversely, what prevents healing).

Since many of my clients are making great progress, I have been studying what they are doing. Are there any key ingredients to their healing that caused major transformation in just a few short weeks?

Turns out there are. I have boiled it down to 3 C’s: Courage, Compassion, and Commitment.

Courage. It takes courage to heal. It means facing yourself and your feelings, which are often painful. It may mean facing the fact that your parents didn’t really love you, not because they didn’t want to, but because they didn’t have the capacity. It means facing unhealthy patterns and beliefs that you have developed, and taking responsibility to change them.

The clients who have healed the deepest and the fastest are those who are willing to be brutally honest with themselves (and me).

When being brutally honest, it’s important to add the next key component to healing.

Compassion. Facing the truth with that brutal honesty needs to be tempered with compassion, first for yourself. When you take responsibility for the dysfunctional beliefs and behaviors, you can tell yourself this truth: “I did the best I could at the time, because I was in survival mode (or, I didn’t know then what I do now, or I had no one to support me”).

Adding compassion to your truth-telling is the catalyst to healing.

It will also help you to heal relationships. You may, for instance, come to the heartfelt belief, “My mother didn’t really know how to love me because she grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect herself, and didn’t know how.”

Earlier I wrote about how compassion seems to release God’s healing power like nothing else. When we apply compassion to ourselves or someone else, I believe we connect with God and his healing flows through us. Truth and love—aren’t these the cornerstones of everything we do?

The third element ensures that the healing “sticks.”

Commitment. Those who heal are committed to their healing. They do their healing work regularly. It is only in the persistent practice of the healing tools that results come.

I have written here and elsewhere about how important commitment and consistency is to your healing. Once your heart realizes you are serious about your healing, and that you are committed to letting it lead the process, your heart will guide you.

It will override your head, or what some people call the “ego-mind” and others call “the flesh.” Whatever you call it, there is a force inside that doesn’t want you to heal, only because healing means change, and change is scary to the ego-mind. Ego-mind wants everything safe, which means, to it anyway, “the way it’s always been.”

One of the blocks to healing I have noticed in clients is a sense of “who will I be without ____”? (Fill in the blank with your issue, trauma, belief, etc.)

“Who will I be if I don’t see myself anymore as a victim of a narcissistic mother?”

“Who will I be if I don’t have this illness that has gotten me all this attention and the care that I never had as a child?”

“Who will I be if I let go of the fear that has ruled me all my life?”

The Commitment to our healing takes us full circle, right back to Courage. It overrides the ego-mind and activates the courage to heal.

And then—you will heal! Perhaps in a miraculous way.

If a miracle is defined as a shift in perspective, then you should expect miracles regularly from your healing work.

That is, as long as you rest it on the three-legged stool of Courage, Compassion, and Commitment.

And if you want some extra support, I stand ready to help you ignite your Courage, Compassion, and to hold you accountable to your Commitment to heal. Peruse the options at https://healingcodescoaching.com.

 

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