Archive for forgiveness


How to Fully Forgive

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I remember Dr. Ben Johnson, co-author of The Healing Code, say that there has never been a case of cancer he’s dealt with as a cancer doctor, that didn’t have a strong element of unwillingness to forgive at its base.

Sobering, isn’t it?

Bitterness and an unwillingness to forgive can not only be the “heart issue” that fosters disease in the body, but it can also be one of the biggest things that keeps us stuck.

Furthermore, we may THINK we’ve forgiven, yet we really haven’t.

I have heard Alex Loyd say that the acid test of whether we truly have forgiven someone is whether we are able to 100% unconditionally accept the person. (Not the act, but the person. The distinction is important.) If we cannot accept the person, we have not really forgiven.


By this test, I have had to revisit a person or two I thought I had forgiven. If I’m truly honest, I have not forgiven because I still do not accept them unconditionally.

One of my clients reminded me of something that may help you get to that place of  “unconditional acceptance of the one you’re forgiving” (whether it’s another person, yourself, or even God). Read More→


The Problem with Mother’s Day

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The big problem with Mother’s Day is we idealize motherhood.

Some image of “great mom” lives in our heads and hearts, and on Mother’s Day that ideal comes out in sweetness and roses and a whole lot of sentimentality.

Try this little exercise: Take a moment to let images of “great mom” well up from your heart to your head. What do you see?

For me, a “great mom” is always nurturing, patient, kind, gives unstintingly to her family and the community. She is organized in the home, she can relax and have fun, she can relate to kids of any age. Her kids love to have their friends over because the home is so beautiful, serene, and fun.

Guess what? I don’t live up to anything in the image I just mentioned.

In fact, I can’t help but wonder: Read More→

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