Archive for grief recovery specialist

If you weren’t dealing with grief before the global pandemic, I suspect you’re dealing with it now, in one way or another. Who hasn’t lost something in the pandemic, even if it’s only the familiar way of being able to “do life”?

Many are dealing with loss of so much more. Loss of health. Loss of a loved one (including a pet). Loss of connections. Loss of work, of income. Loss of a sense of stability. Loss of a dream. Loss of faith. Loss of a marriage.

If you have unhealed grief issues from the past, likely any of the more recent losses just make the grief feel even worse. Grief is cumulative, and time does not automatically heal it. That is a myth.

Dr. Bernard McGrane, Professor of Sociology at Chapman University, says that “unresolved grief is the major underlying issue in most people’s lives.” Incomplete recovery from grief can have lifelong negative effects on your capacity for happiness—not to mention your health.

If you’ve felt that your healing has not progressed as you would like, it could well be that unhealed grief is the block.

If you were to tally all the losses of your life, how many would you say feel resolved?

If none or few of them are resolved, I suggest you make grief recovery a priority. According to Grief Recovery Specialist Lynnette Hetzler and others, grief is the natural human response to loss, and there is a process of recovery from grief that is specific.

I invited Lynnette to share both her story of grief recovery and The Healing Codes, and more about the specific steps to recovering from grief. The live webinar interview took place on Wednesday, December 30, 2020.

On the call Lynnette and I covered:

  • myths about grief that can impede your recovery.

  • kinds of losses that need to be grieved.

  • ramifications, physical and emotional, of not dealing with grief.

  • are there “stages” of grief to work through? (The answer may surprise you.)

  • steps to grief recovery.

  • how grief recovery and The Healing Codes work together.

In addition, Lynnette answered questions.

Sign up below to access the recording of the call.

Dec
23

God’s “Yeah Buts”

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As you know, one of the things we address with The Healing Codes are lies we have come to believe–what many call Limiting Beliefs.

Limiting beliefs rear their head, we are told, in the “yeah buts” that spring to mind when we want to move toward expansion. Some call it the Ego Mind that seeks to protect you from any kind of change, which is deemed dangerous by that part of our brain.

Say your intention is to finally heal an addiction. Ego Mind immediately bombards you with thoughts like, “How many times have you tried to quit and you didn’t? Why bother? You’re a failure. You can’t do this, and in fact, you can’t do anything right.”

The Limiting Belief gives way to the Harmful Action of beating yourself up. And then you feel you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve good things, etc. etc.

Lots of fodder for Healing Code work.

But what if we turned ‘yeah but” on its head?

Recently I asked how you would fill in the blank: “2020: A year of _____.

I resonated especially with one person’s answer, István from Hungary: “The year of chaos in the world, BUT DEEP (SPIRITUAL) CHANGES FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.”

István captures my experience as well. It’s been a year of contrasts . . . of God’s graces saying “yeah but” to the negatives.

We have all had to deal with changes and losses of all kinds. On top of the collective losses, which I fervently hope will bring us together and help us all grow spiritually, I’m sure everyone has personal challenges to deal with as well. Read More→

Nov
21

Grief, Grace, Gratitude, and Grit

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My mother left this earth on November 19, 2020. Marie Boos Filakovsky was 88.

There is grief. It’s showing up as lethargy, insomnia, fatigue, and sadness. I am always amazed at how strong the mother-daughter bond is.

Mom and I had a complicated relationship. The product of Childhood Emotional Neglect herself, she passed that on. She married a good man, my father, and lived out the 1950s script of a good Catholic girl, wife, and mother.

Mom and me, Aug. 2017

I never knew who she really was.

Until she was 78.

That’s when I started giving her custom Healing Codes. And I watched her change.

The changes in my mother solidified for me the power of The Healing Codes.

I can still remember the day she asked me how I was doing—and meant it. Before that, our weekly calls were mostly about her. It didn’t feel like she really was interested in me. Until that day.

From then on, she opened her heart more and more. I discovered to my astonishment that she had a tender, sensitive heart. For most of her life, she had hidden it under layers of socialization. Once she said to me, “You are giving me what I should have given you,” i.e. emotional support.

Then she had a stroke. And a second one, in 2017. After that, communication was very difficult. In a way, I lost the mother I’d just found.

A few weeks ago she was put on palliative care, and it was really difficult not to go out there. But with COVID-19, I just couldn’t risk flying out, for her sake and mine. I was told that it was too taxing for her to talk on the phone.

It was so hard, being cut off from her in her last days. Read More→

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