Archive for grief recovery
The Different “Flavors” of Grief
Posted by: | CommentsI have been writing about grief a lot lately, partly because we are all going through it in one way or another. If it’s not the grief of someone actually dying from COVID or other reasons, it’s the grief of a loss of a way of life that was suddenly ripped away a year ago. And many kinds of losses in between.
Plus, I’m walking through the valley of grief myself, as well as alongside many of my clients.
It strikes me that there are several distinct “flavors” of grief, at least two of which few people even talk about.
The Grief of Losing What You Had
This is the first and most obvious grief. You had something precious–a relationship, a business, a dream, a home—and it was somehow lost.
The “flavor” of this grief is bittersweet.
Sweet, because at one time you did experience something good. The lack of that now is what’s bitter.
The steps of Grief Recovery, along with The Healing Codes, heal this grief over time. Read More→
The Final(?) Chapter in the Cat Saga
Posted by: | CommentsI thought this would be another story of grace in my ongoing cat saga. Perhaps it is. Just not in the way I expected.
If you followed my cat stories, several months ago we lost Joey, our beloved black cat (the best cat ever), and also became petless for the first time in decades.
After months of not having a cat, and a couple of negative attempts to bring another pet into our lives, a few weeks ago I was really, really missing having a cat. Yet, I didn’t know if I was ready for a full commitment to a pet at this time (vet bills, food bills, and dealing with possible destruction of furniture as we had with the last brief cat visitation). I just entrusted the longing to God.
Not two hours later, I was checking my Nextdoor chat group, and someone posted that they needed someone to take care of her 14-year-old cat for 6 weeks. The cat loved to sit on a lap (and wasn’t picky about whose), she was front declawed, and used her litter box religiously. Bingo!
Read More→
Could this common feeling be blocking your healing?
Posted by: | CommentsIf you weren’t dealing with grief before the global pandemic, I suspect you’re dealing with it now, in one way or another. Who hasn’t lost something in the pandemic, even if it’s only the familiar way of being able to “do life”?
Many are dealing with loss of so much more. Loss of health. Loss of a loved one (including a pet). Loss of connections. Loss of work, of income. Loss of a sense of stability. Loss of a dream. Loss of faith. Loss of a marriage.
If you have unhealed grief issues from the past, likely any of the more recent losses just make the grief feel even worse. Grief is cumulative, and time does not automatically heal it. That is a myth.
Dr. Bernard McGrane, Professor of Sociology at Chapman University, says that “unresolved grief is the major underlying issue in most people’s lives.” Incomplete recovery from grief can have lifelong negative effects on your capacity for happiness—not to mention your health.
If you’ve felt that your healing has not progressed as you would like, it could well be that unhealed grief is the block.
If you were to tally all the losses of your life, how many would you say feel resolved? Read More→
