Archive for healing code
FOMO, FOMSI and POMO
Posted by: | CommentsYou’ve probably heard the term FOMO-the Fear Of Missing Out.
This seems to be a fundamental human fear. We don’t want to miss an opportunity. We don’t want to miss having fun.
I have struggled with FOMO. As I’ve worked with it, however, I discovered a perhaps deeper fear: the Fear Of Missing Something Important (FOMSI).
With so many moving parts to my life, with so many details to handle, FOMSI is something I often find myself doing Healing Codes for.
A traumatic background doesn’t help. Growing up with Childhood Emotional Neglect meant that I had to deal with life on my own. If I missed something important, I’d suffer for it. Trauma can lead to the negative coping style of hypervigilance, which is very stressful. It keeps your nervous system in fight/flight mode.
Some of the thoughts/beliefs (often unconscious) that fuel FOMSI are:
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I have to get it right, or else!
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If I miss an important detail, something disastrous will happen.
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Nobody has my back; it’s all on me.
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There’s too much to deal with; I can’t handle it.
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I might need [to do, now, have] that.
The feelings of FOMSI are anxiety, fear, and overwhelm. Maybe helplessness, maybe anger too. Read More→
Heal the #1 Heart Issue of Most People
Posted by: | CommentsIf there’s one “heart issue” almost every client I know addresses at some point, it’s some variation of “not enough.”
This unhealthy can show up in a number of forms, leading to various outcomes. For instance:
- “I’m not enough” (leads to low self-esteem, perhaps a sense you have to prove yourself; sometimes harmful ways of trying to fill the void).
- “I don’t have enough” (leads to anxiety and often actual lack).
- “I’m not doing enough” (leads to the harmful actions of overgiving, over-doing, workaholismm, etc.).
- “I don’t know enough” (leads to endless learning rather than actually doing).
- “There isn’t enough” (time, money, love, etc..–leads to despair).
Can you relate to any of these?
If so, remember—you’re not alone!
Some of us also experience almost the flip side of this: “too much.”
Too much expected of us. (And there are “not enough” resources to deal with it.)
Too much stimulation (especially true for those with the trait of High Sensitivity).
Too much to know before I can feel safe.
Lately a little “mantra” has slipped into my mind that helps me deal with the “not enough” issue (which for me is often, “I don’t know enough” or “I’m not doing enough”).
The mantra is this: “Let it be enough for now.”
Let it. Allow it. I have a choice: to allow, or to resist and fall back into the old “not enough” pattern.
“Let it be enough.” A whole new energy comes in when you say “enough.” At least for me, it’s like there’s a sigh in my soul. Aahh . . . it can be enough.
Let it be enough for now. Not forever. This is not procrastination. It’s a choice to let whatever I’ve done, whatever I know, whatever I am, to just be enough, just for now.
In this moment, I can choose to be enough, to have enough, to know enough, to let what I’ve done be enough, to trust that there is enough.
You might make that a Truth Focus Statement for your Healing Code: “Just for right now, I am enough, I do enough, I have enough, I know enough, there is enough. I can let where I am right now be enough.”
See what this does for your nervous system.
And let me know if it helps you!
Related articles:
God’s “Yeah Buts”
Posted by: | CommentsAs you know, one of the things we address with The Healing Codes are lies we have come to believe–what many call Limiting Beliefs.
Limiting beliefs rear their head, we are told, in the “yeah buts” that spring to mind when we want to move toward expansion. Some call it the Ego Mind that seeks to protect you from any kind of change, which is deemed dangerous by that part of our brain.
Say your intention is to finally heal an addiction. Ego Mind immediately bombards you with thoughts like, “How many times have you tried to quit and you didn’t? Why bother? You’re a failure. You can’t do this, and in fact, you can’t do anything right.”
The Limiting Belief gives way to the Harmful Action of beating yourself up. And then you feel you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve good things, etc. etc.
Lots of fodder for Healing Code work.
But what if we turned ‘yeah but” on its head?
Recently I asked how you would fill in the blank: “2020: A year of _____.”
I resonated especially with one person’s answer, István from Hungary: “The year of chaos in the world, BUT DEEP (SPIRITUAL) CHANGES FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.”
István captures my experience as well. It’s been a year of contrasts . . . of God’s graces saying “yeah but” to the negatives.
We have all had to deal with changes and losses of all kinds. On top of the collective losses, which I fervently hope will bring us together and help us all grow spiritually, I’m sure everyone has personal challenges to deal with as well. Read More→
The Power of Tracking Your Healing Results
Posted by: | CommentsOctober 2020 marked my 10-year anniversary of getting certified as a Healing Codes Coach/Practitioner by Dr. Alex Loyd.
What an amazing and wonderful 10 years it’s been!
So much healing, and so much learned.
A therapist friend said to me, after finding out some things about my past, “How did YOU come out of all that? I mean, someone who is able to do what you do and have done in the world, usually doesn’t come out of THAT kind of background.”
Answer: God’s grace, and a lot of hard work on my part. Also these:
- Believing somehow that anything can be overcome, if only I have the faith and the willingness to do the hard work of transformation.
- A willingness to learn, and most of all, a desire to grow. To grow beyond the confines of a narrow, emotionally deficient background and trauma.
I believe you also have those qualities, or you wouldn’t be reading my blog. YOU are the kind of self-aware person who desires to heal your heart issues—those negative memories, beliefs and feelings that block you from experiencing the love, joy, peace, purpose and self-fulfillment you sense is your God-given design.
And because you are that kind of person, and to celebrate some of the most fulfilling (as well as challenging) last 10 years of my work, I want to give you something that will speed your Healing Code results—if you choose to use it. Read More→
Healing from “Not Enough”
Posted by: | CommentsWhen I wrote last December about “settling into the energy of enough,” I had no idea it would be such a journey.
I thought it would be a simple process of figuring out what “enough” was, via reading a bit about Minimalism, clear some space physically, mentally, and emotionally. I thought it would be mostly about gratitude. I did not think it would not be a big deal.
After all, haven’t I been doing healing work every single day since 2007?
Well, it’s turned into quite an undertaking. Turns out, “settling into the energy of Enough” is a lot more involved than I thought.
First of all, there’s the becoming aware of how pervasive and deep “not enough” is for me. Who knew?
I began to realize that it goes all the way back to childhood (as most things seem to do—sigh). Because I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect and was so different from my family (highly sensitive), “not good enough” became a big part of me. Though I excelled at school, the family was indifferent to it. My father often said, “I wish my boys had your brains.” I took that to mean they were wasted on a girl. All that mattered for girls, in the culture I grew up in, was that they be pretty and please others, especially men.
Also, there was “not enough” of other things in the family. Attention, love, interest, money. As an adult, trying to grasp this suddenly huge issue of “enough,” I realize I continued the process by denying myself so many things that are really “me,” in favor of doing “what’s expected” (which was a big value in my family).
Religion also plays a role in this “not enough.” Distorted or incomplete religious teachings can lead you to feel you’re not good enough for God unless you do X, Y, or Z. Even if you do grasp the meaning of grace, which is what true spirituality is all about, there’s often the subtle pressure in churches to “serve.” This is fine, but when there’s the sense that you can never really serve enough, the needs are so great and you’re being selfish to think of your own needs when there are so many people worse off than you who need what you have—then, at least for me—it becomes very toxic.
It’s not just religious communities who can send that message, either. Work environments can also foster this “not enough” mindset. “You won’t be successful if you don’t push harder, put in more hours than other people.”
You’re not enough. You don’t do enough. You don’t know enough. There is not enough. These messages are everywhere, aren’t they? Advertising is based on it.
Just becoming aware of how “not enough” affects you is the first step. Bring this unhealthy belief and the memories behind it to your Healing Code work! Using the Truth Focus Statement, I am enough, I do enough, I know enough, I have enough, there is enough has been quite a help. As I have worked with this, oh the freedom I’m experiencing!
If “not enough” is an issue for you, I would love to come alongside you on your healing journey and help you find the freedom to be you as well. Check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.
Best Healing Focus While Doing a Healing Code
Posted by: | CommentsI‘ve often thought that one of the reasons The Healing Codes work so well is that you spend the bulk of your time focusing on something very positive. It’s this meditative aspect that makes them work, I believe, possibly more than the technique itself.
Yes, you identify the negative “heart issue” to be healed (in your prayer of intention at the beginning). But then when you point to the Healing Center positions of a Healing Code, you make the energy coming out of your fingertips positive because of your positive thoughts.
(This may sound “woo-woo” but it is actually a quantum physics thing. The energy of your intention actually makes something happen in the world of matter.)
Knowing this, the question becomes:
“What is the most positive thing I can focus on while
doing a Healing Code?”
There really is no formula. It is whatever positive thing you want to. Whatever works for you. Experiment.
Having said that, I know some people want some specific tips. So . . . Read More→
How to Heal and Process an Emotion
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever wondered what emotions are good for, anyway?
And what happens when you refuse to deal with an emotion?
Let’s say you feel sad about something, now. Growing up, if you showed sadness or cried, it made your parents feel uncomfortable. Feeling sad made you bad for making them feel uncomfortable. (You can substitute any other feeling you “weren’t allowed” to feel.)
If you were male and you cried, you may have been told, one way or another, to toughen up.
If you grew up this way, what are you likely to do with that present sad feeling?
If you let yourself feel it, you might find guilt being added to it (because when you felt sad in childhood and other people didn’t like it, you came to believe your feeling sad made someone else feel bad). Or shame (“I’m bad for feeling sad and causing a problem for someone else”). Read More→
How Feeling Bad Can Set You Free
Posted by: | CommentsDo you struggle in your relationships, especially close relationships?
The key to why lies in your childhood, in how you learned to love in your family. You learned patterns of relating that became “imprinted” upon you, including how to deal (or not deal) with feelings and needs.
An excellent book that explains all this is How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. My husband and I took a marriage class based on the book.
The authors have a free Love Styles quiz that tells you how you learned to love in your family. The patterns that you experienced will, without any kind of intervention, determine that “core pattern” of how you will relate in close relationships.
I recommend you take the Love Styles quiz, and find out what yours is. If you are part of the 75% of the population who did not learn a secure attachment style, you will be either an Avoider, a Pleaser, a Vacillator, a Victim, or a Controller–or any combination thereof! Read More→
“Must I Identify an Early Memory to Heal?”
Posted by: | Comments 
“I have no trouble identifying an emotional issue, however I can’t always link the feeling to a specific memory. Is it OK to do the Healing Code on the emotional issue alone?”
You do not absolutely need to link the emotion to a specific early memory. Your heart will find and heal the issues that need to be healed.
That said, I will add that if you can find an early memory, it seems to speed healing. The more specific you can be with The Healing Code, the quicker the healing seems to happen. (That’s why custom codes are so powerful; they are specific to your particular issue. ) But you never want to force anything with The Healing Code; that’s counter-productive.
At the beginning of your Healing Code session, give yourself a moment for any memories to surface. If they don’t, do the Code on the current emotional issue. As you work with The Healing Code and heal, you may find it easier to access the earlier memories.
Your heart may be protecting you from remembering early memories. Many of my clients also find that after working with The Healing Codes for a time, memories that have healed come to the surface. If there’s no emotional charge on that memory, then it usually means it’s healed. One of the wonderful benefits of The Healing Code is you “get your life back” as these healed memories surface.
One client had a very key early memory with several negative elements that needed to be healed. Interestingly, once the negative parts of the memory healed, it became a very positive memory–one she even started using for her “love picture”!
That’s all The Healing Code does, by the way: heals the negative aspects of the pictures and feelings. Yet when that happens, as the book explains, many amazing things can happen.
For more on how to get the most out of The Healing Codes, sign up for the free course, “Getting Started with The Healing Codes,” sent via email.
How the Law of Attraction Can Work against You
Posted by: | CommentsThe whole Law of Attraction was real big a few years ago with the movie and book, The Secret, and I know many people still believe in it.
I think there is some element of truth in it. What you focus on will tend to increase in your life. And you do “sow what you reap,” by and large. (This by the way is no “secret.” Ancient manuscripts tell of it openly. It’s all over the Bible, for instance.)
Here’s what I observe, though: a strong belief in LOA seems to produce fear. I have clients who are blocked in terms of dealing with their heart issues, because they’re so afraid that acknowledging anything negative at all will attract more of the negative into one’s life.
I maintain that it’s only when we acknowledge the negative–that there are things to be healed–that in fact we can heal those things.
In a Psychology Today article, “Why Optimism Can Be Bad For Your Mental Health,” Clifford N Lazarus,Ph.D, distinguishes between false optimism and realistic optimism: “The difference between false optimism and rational optimism can be captured by two different statements. ( 1 ) ‘There’s nothing to be concerned about, everything will be just grand.’ [Or, the LOA version: “If I just visualize everything being fine, it will be.”] That’s false optimism. The second statement reflects realistic optimism: (2) ‘We’ve got a real mess on our hands, things don’t look too good, but if we tackle it step by step, we can probably do something about it.'”
In terms of healing heart issues, you have to acknowledge that there are some things that need healing. You’re not perfect. The negative things that happened to you, the lies you’re believing, the feelings attached to memories–these things are real, but they don’t have to define you. You don’t have to be afraid to face them.
The only way to heal heart issues is to tell yourself the truth about where you are now, and then heal the heart issues with The Healing Codes and prayer. You replace the lies with truth, the negative with the positive.
Facing the negative and healing it will do the opposite of attracting more negative.
It is the only way to get to the positive you want to attract. It’s a step that can’t be skipped.
If you’d like some help dealing with “heart issues” using The Healing Codes, go to www.HealingCodesCoaching.com to check out how Healing Codes and Healing Codes coaching work.
