Archive for healing code

May
18

Mitigate a Key Factor of Disease

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One thing that happens when your focus is living Aligned with your Divine Design is you often get “messages” that seem tailored to you. It’s just what you needed to hear, and often, for emphasis, you may hear the same type of message or information several times within a few days.

One message that has come up for me again and again in the last few days is: the importance of not suppressing emotions.

One source was the book, When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté, M.D. He shows how many diseases have their roots in suppressed emotions. One study that struck me was about lung cancer. Smoking in itself wasn’t as much of a risk factor as smoking along with habitual suppression of emotions, especially anger.

“Heart issues” + lifestyle are the two co-factors that determine your health.

man wearing black shir t

Photo by Antonino Visalli

You’ve heard plenty about lifestyle, and it’s certainly important for staying healthy. But as Gabor Maté has found, it is not the only key factor.

Heart issues must be dealt with, if you want to heal. That is my unequivocal opinion. Difficult feelings need to be felt and processed.

A recent study, published in the journal NeuroImage: Clinical, co-authored by Farb and Segal, along with Ph.D. student Philip Desormeau, found that “suppressing or blocking out physical sensations related to emotions such as sadness can hinder recovery from depression symptoms and may cause a relapse into depression.”

And, the study found, we have to feel the emotions in the body: “blocking out sensation is related to a greater risk of depressive relapse. . . . Our research explains why working to keep feeling is so important. It lays the groundwork for seeing that emotional stress actually robs us of sensation—and to undo stress, one must counter this inhibitory effect.”

I find it fascinating that in the Bible, more than one-third of the book of Psalms are “Psalms of lament”–more than any other category of psalms. Clearly, Aligned Living includes examples of how to express a full range of feelings, including such “negative” feelings as anger, despair, sorrow, revenge and hatred. (The Maker knows how we are made and what we need to stay healthy!)

If you grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect, or had any other kind of Adverse Childhood Events such as death, divorce, neglect or other traumas, you are much more likely to suffer from a variety of chronic diseases and behavioral challenges, including obesity, autoimmune disease, depression and alcoholism. The greater the number of ACEs, the greater the risk for negative outcomes, according to the famous ACEs study.

However, the very good news is that you can heal these things. The traumas live in your body as cellular memories, and these have a negative frequency, and The Healing Codes address all that and neutralize or even change them to positive.

a woman sits alone against a wall holding her head

Photo by Tammy Gann

The first step is to allow yourself to identify and feel the negative emotions. You might want to turn to some of the Psalms of Lament as examples of how emotions can be expressed in the presence of God.

I have also written several articles on how to process your emotions. If this is something you struggle with, check out any of these articles to get started–especially the first three.

Another benefit of processing negative emotions is that you increase your capacity to feel all emotions, including the positive ones!

I vividly remember the day I was talking to my mother on our weekly calls in which I’d give her a custom Healing Code. She had always told me she “couldn’t remember” her childhood, and that she had no positive memories from childhood.

After she’d been doing my custom Healing Codes for maybe a couple of years by then, and that one day she started telling me all about how, when she was a child, the family used to go to her uncle’s farm and have the greatest time.

I stopped her and said, “MOM! Do you realize this is the first happy childhood memory you’ve ever told me?’’

She said in a surprised voice, “Really?” and then nonchalantly went on to recount more happy childhood memories.

That’s the power of healing heart issues.

And if you want to heal your heart issues and align with YOUR Divine Design, check out my program and fill out a Clarity Questionnaire.

Nov
09

FOMO, FOMSI and POMO

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You’ve probably heard the term FOMO-the Fear Of Missing Out.

This seems to be a fundamental human fear. We don’t want to miss an opportunity. We don’t want to miss having fun.

I have struggled with FOMO. As I’ve worked with it, however, I discovered a perhaps deeper fear: the Fear Of Missing Something Important (FOMSI).

With so many moving parts to my life, with so many details to handle, FOMSI is something I often find myself doing Healing Codes for.

A traumatic background doesn’t help. Growing up with Childhood Emotional Neglect meant that I had to deal with life on my own. If I missed something important, I’d suffer for it. Trauma can lead to the negative coping style of hypervigilance, which is very stressful. It keeps your nervous system in fight/flight mode.

man in black jacket and pants sitting on stairs

Some of the thoughts/beliefs (often unconscious) that fuel FOMSI are:

  • I have to get it right, or else!

  • If I miss an important detail, something disastrous will happen.

  • Nobody has my back; it’s all on me.

  • There’s too much to deal with; I can’t handle it.

  • I might need [to do, now, have] that.

The feelings of FOMSI are anxiety, fear, and overwhelm. Maybe helplessness, maybe anger too. Read More→

Jul
09

Heal the #1 Heart Issue of Most People

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If there’s one “heart issue” almost every client I know addresses at some point, it’s some variation of “not enough.”

This unhealthy can show up in a number of forms, leading to various outcomes. For instance:

  • “I’m not enough” (leads to low self-esteem, perhaps a sense you have to prove yourself; sometimes harmful ways of trying to fill the void).
  • “I don’t have enough” (leads to anxiety and often actual lack).
  • “I’m not doing enough” (leads to the harmful actions of overgiving, over-doing, workaholismm, etc.).
  • “I don’t know enough” (leads to endless learning rather than actually doing).
  • “There isn’t enough” (time, money, love, etc..–leads to despair).

Can you relate to any of these?

If so, remember—you’re not alone!

Some of us also experience almost the flip side of this: “too much.”

Too much expected of us. (And there are “not enough” resources to deal with it.)

Too much stimulation (especially true for those with the trait of High Sensitivity).

Too much to know before I can feel safe.

Lately a little “mantra” has slipped into my mind that helps me deal with the “not enough” issue (which for me is often, “I don’t know enough” or “I’m not doing enough”).

The mantra is this: “Let it be enough for now.”

Let it. Allow it. I have a choice: to allow, or to resist and fall back into the old “not enough” pattern.

“Let it be enough. A whole new energy comes in when you say “enough.” At least for me, it’s like there’s a sigh in my soul. Aahh . . . it can be enough.

Let it be enough for now. Not forever. This is not procrastination. It’s a choice to let whatever I’ve done, whatever I know, whatever I am, to just be enough, just for now.

In this moment, I can choose to be enough, to have enough, to know enough, to let what I’ve done be enough, to trust that there is enough.

You might make that a Truth Focus Statement for your Healing Code: “Just for right now, I am enough, I do enough, I have enough, I know enough, there is enough. I can let where I am right now be enough.”

See what this does for your nervous system.

And let me know if it helps you!

Related articles:

Dec
23

God’s “Yeah Buts”

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As you know, one of the things we address with The Healing Codes are lies we have come to believe–what many call Limiting Beliefs.

Limiting beliefs rear their head, we are told, in the “yeah buts” that spring to mind when we want to move toward expansion. Some call it the Ego Mind that seeks to protect you from any kind of change, which is deemed dangerous by that part of our brain.

Say your intention is to finally heal an addiction. Ego Mind immediately bombards you with thoughts like, “How many times have you tried to quit and you didn’t? Why bother? You’re a failure. You can’t do this, and in fact, you can’t do anything right.”

The Limiting Belief gives way to the Harmful Action of beating yourself up. And then you feel you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve good things, etc. etc.

Lots of fodder for Healing Code work.

But what if we turned ‘yeah but” on its head?

Recently I asked how you would fill in the blank: “2020: A year of _____.

I resonated especially with one person’s answer, István from Hungary: “The year of chaos in the world, BUT DEEP (SPIRITUAL) CHANGES FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.”

István captures my experience as well. It’s been a year of contrasts . . . of God’s graces saying “yeah but” to the negatives.

We have all had to deal with changes and losses of all kinds. On top of the collective losses, which I fervently hope will bring us together and help us all grow spiritually, I’m sure everyone has personal challenges to deal with as well. Read More→

October 2020 marked my 10-year anniversary of getting certified as a Healing Codes Coach/Practitioner by Dr. Alex Loyd.

What an amazing and wonderful 10 years it’s been!

So much healing, and so much learned.

A therapist friend said to me, after finding out some things about my past, “How did YOU come out of all that? I mean, someone who is able to do what you do and have done in the world, usually doesn’t come out of THAT kind of background.”

Answer: God’s grace, and a lot of hard work on my part. Also these:

  • Believing somehow that anything can be overcome, if only I have the faith and the willingness to do the hard work of transformation.
  • A willingness to learn, and most of all, a desire to grow. To grow beyond the confines of a narrow, emotionally deficient background and trauma.

I believe you also have those qualities, or you wouldn’t be reading my blog. YOU are the kind of self-aware person who desires to heal your heart issues—those negative memories, beliefs and feelings that block you from experiencing the love, joy, peace, purpose and self-fulfillment you sense is your God-given design.

And because you are that kind of person, and to celebrate some of the most fulfilling (as well as challenging) last 10 years of my work, I want to give you something that will speed your Healing Code results—if you choose to use it. Read More→

Jul
03

Healing from “Not Enough”

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When I wrote last December about “settling into the energy of enough,” I had no idea it would be such a journey.

I thought it would be a simple process of figuring out what “enough” was, via reading a bit about Minimalism, clear some space physically, mentally, and emotionally. I thought it would be mostly about gratitude. I did not think it would not be a big deal.

After all, haven’t I been doing healing work every single day since 2007?

Well, it’s turned into quite an undertaking. Turns out, “settling into the energy of Enough” is a lot more involved than I thought.

First of all, there’s the becoming aware of how pervasive and deep “not enough” is for me. Who knew?

I began to realize that it goes all the way back to childhood (as most things seem to do—sigh). Because I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect and was so different from my family (highly sensitive),  “not good enough” became a big part of me. Though I excelled at school, the family was indifferent to it. My father often said, “I wish my boys had your brains.” I took that to mean they were wasted on a girl. All that mattered for girls, in the culture I grew up in, was that they be pretty and please others, especially men.

Also, there was “not enough” of other things in the family. Attention, love, interest, money. As an adult, trying to grasp this suddenly huge issue of “enough,” I realize I continued the process by denying myself so many things that are really “me,” in favor of doing “what’s expected” (which was a big value in my family).

Religion also plays a role in this “not enough.” Distorted or incomplete religious teachings can lead you to feel you’re not good enough for God unless you do X, Y, or Z.  Even if you do grasp the meaning of grace, which is what true spirituality is all about, there’s often the subtle pressure in churches to “serve.” This is fine, but when there’s the sense that you can never really serve enough, the needs are so great and you’re being selfish to think of your own needs when there are so many people worse off than you who need what you have—then, at least for me—it becomes very toxic.

It’s not just religious communities who can send that message, either. Work environments can also foster this “not enough” mindset. “You won’t be successful if you don’t push harder, put in more hours than other people.”

You’re not enough. You don’t do enough. You don’t know enough. There is not enough. These messages are everywhere, aren’t they? Advertising is based on it.

Just becoming aware of how “not enough” affects you is the first step. Bring this unhealthy belief and the memories behind it to your Healing Code work! Using the Truth Focus Statement, I am enough, I do enough, I know enough, I have enough, there is enough has been quite a help. As I have worked with this, oh the freedom I’m experiencing!

If “not enough” is an issue for you, I would love to come alongside you on your healing journey and help you find the freedom to be you as well. Check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

I‘ve often thought that one of the reasons The Healing Codes work so well is that you spend the bulk of your time focusing on something very positive. It’s this meditative aspect that makes them work, I believe, possibly more than the technique itself.

Yes, you identify the negative “heart issue” to be healed (in your prayer of intention at the beginning). But then when you point to the Healing Center positions of a Healing Code, you make the energy coming out of your fingertips positive because of your positive thoughts.

(This may sound “woo-woo” but it is actually a quantum physics thing. The energy of your intention actually makes something happen in the world of matter.)

Knowing this, the question becomes:

“What is the most positive thing I can focus on while

doing a Healing Code?”

There really is no formula. It is whatever positive thing you want to. Whatever works for you. Experiment.

Having said that, I know some people want some specific tips. So . . . Read More→

Jan
11

How to Heal and Process an Emotion

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Have you ever wondered what emotions are good for, anyway?

And what happens when you refuse to deal with an emotion?

Let’s say you feel sad about something, now. Growing up, if you showed sadness or cried, it made your parents feel uncomfortable. Feeling sad made you bad for making them feel uncomfortable. (You can substitute any other feeling you “weren’t allowed” to feel.)

If you were male and you cried, you may have been told, one way or another, to toughen up.

If you grew up this way, what are you likely to do with that present sad feeling?

If you let yourself feel it, you might find guilt being added to it (because when you felt sad in childhood and other people didn’t like it, you came to believe your feeling sad made someone else feel bad). Or shame (“I’m bad for feeling sad and causing a problem for someone else”). Read More→

Sep
27

How Feeling Bad Can Set You Free

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Do you struggle in your relationships, especially close relationships?

The key to why lies in your childhood, in how you learned to love in your family. You learned patterns of relating that became “imprinted” upon you, including how to deal (or not deal) with feelings and needs.

An excellent book that explains all this is How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. My husband and I took a marriage class based on the book.

The authors have a free Love Styles quiz that tells you how you learned to love in your family. The patterns that you experienced will, without any kind of intervention, determine that “core pattern” of how you will relate in close relationships.

I recommend you take the Love Styles quiz, and find out what yours is. If you are part of the 75% of the population who did not learn a secure attachment style, you will be either an Avoider, a Pleaser, a Vacillator, a Victim, or a Controller–or any combination thereof! Read More→

Question about using The Healing Codes:

 I have no trouble identifying an emotional issue, however I can’t always link the feeling to a specific memory.  Is it OK to do the Healing Code on the emotional issue alone?”

You do not absolutely need to link the emotion to a specific early memory. Your heart will find and heal the issues that need to be healed.

That said, I will add that if you can find an early memory, it seems to speed healing. The more specific you can be with The Healing Code, the quicker the healing seems to happen. (That’s why custom codes are so powerful; they are specific to your particular issue. ) But you never want  to force anything with The Healing Code; that’s counter-productive.

At the beginning of your Healing Code session, give yourself a moment for any memories to surface. If they don’t, do the Code on the current emotional issue. As you work with The Healing Code and heal, you may find it easier to access the earlier memories.

Your heart may be protecting you from remembering early memories. Many of my clients also find that after working with The Healing Codes for a time, memories that have healed come to the surface. If there’s no emotional charge on that memory, then it usually means it’s healed. One of the wonderful benefits of The Healing Code is you “get your life back” as these healed memories surface.

One client had a very key early memory with several negative elements that needed to be healed. Interestingly, once the negative parts of the memory healed, it became a very positive memory–one she even started using for her “love picture”!

That’s all The Healing Code does, by the way: heals the negative aspects of the pictures and feelings. Yet when that happens, as the book explains, many amazing things can happen.

For more on how to get the most out of The Healing Codes, sign up for the free course, “Getting Started with The Healing Codes,” sent via email.

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