Archive for healing codes coaching

The 3 C’s of Healing

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Ever since I embarked on this healing journey, for myself and others, I have been fascinated, perhaps even obsessed, with what makes people heal (and, conversely, what prevents healing).

Since many of my clients are making great progress, I have been studying what they are doing. Are there any key ingredients to their healing that caused major transformation in just a few short weeks?

Turns out there are. I have boiled it down to 3 C’s: Courage, Compassion, and Commitment.

Courage. It takes courage to heal. It means facing yourself and your feelings, which are often painful. It may mean facing the fact that your parents didn’t really love you, not because they didn’t want to, but because they didn’t have the capacity. It means facing unhealthy patterns and beliefs that you have developed, and taking responsibility to change them.

The clients who have healed the deepest and the fastest are those who are willing to be brutally honest with themselves (and me).

When being brutally honest, it’s important to add the next key component to healing.

Compassion. Facing the truth with that brutal honesty needs to be tempered with compassion, first for yourself. When you take responsibility for the dysfunctional beliefs and behaviors, you can tell yourself this truth: “I did the best I could at the time, because I was in survival mode (or, I didn’t know then what I do now, or I had no one to support me”).

Adding compassion to your truth-telling is the catalyst to healing.

It will also help you to heal relationships. You may, for instance, come to the heartfelt belief, “My mother didn’t really know how to love me because she grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect herself, and didn’t know how.”

Earlier I wrote about how compassion seems to release God’s healing power like nothing else. When we apply compassion to ourselves or someone else, I believe we connect with God and his healing flows through us. Truth and love—aren’t these the cornerstones of everything we do?

The third element ensures that the healing “sticks.”

Commitment. Those who heal are committed to their healing. They do their healing work regularly. It is only in the persistent practice of the healing tools that results come.

I have written here and elsewhere about how important commitment and consistency is to your healing. Once your heart realizes you are serious about your healing, and that you are committed to letting it lead the process, your heart will guide you.

It will override your head, or what some people call the “ego-mind” and others call “the flesh.” Whatever you call it, there is a force inside that doesn’t want you to heal, only because healing means change, and change is scary to the ego-mind. Ego-mind wants everything safe, which means, to it anyway, “the way it’s always been.”

One of the blocks to healing I have noticed in clients is a sense of “who will I be without ____”? (Fill in the blank with your issue, trauma, belief, etc.)

“Who will I be if I don’t see myself anymore as a victim of a narcissistic mother?”

“Who will I be if I don’t have this illness that has gotten me all this attention and the care that I never had as a child?”

“Who will I be if I let go of the fear that has ruled me all my life?”

The Commitment to our healing takes us full circle, right back to Courage. It overrides the ego-mind and activates the courage to heal.

And then—you will heal! Perhaps in a miraculous way.

If a miracle is defined as a shift in perspective, then you should expect miracles regularly from your healing work.

That is, as long as you rest it on the three-legged stool of Courage, Compassion, and Commitment.

And if you want some extra support, I stand ready to help you ignite your Courage, Compassion, and to hold you accountable to your Commitment to heal. Peruse the options at https://healingcodescoaching.com.

 

Why Healing Your Heart Matters

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You don’t need me to tell you that we live in very troubling times. It’s all around us, and we can’t escape it. Political polarization, uncertainty, job loss, the pandemic, social media nastiness (which I avoid totally), natural disasters, racial injustice, violence. Even if you limit your news intake, as I do, you still can’t avoid the negative energy all around.

For some of us, especially if we have the trait of High Sensitivity, the energy is palpable; we may even feel it physically.

Authors Dr. Lise Van Susteren and Stacey Colino wrote a book about it, calling it Emotional Inflammation. It’s a state “not unlike post-traumatic stress disorder, but one that stems from simply living in today’s tumultuous world.”

Some symptoms include sleep problems, hyperactivity, persistent grief, or inescapable worry about the future.

In such a climate as ours now, we need to be especially intentional about our own healing. Because healing the heart matters.

It matters because it changes everything, starting with your very identity.

When you heal your heart issues, you begin to realize who you really are. You uncover what I think of as your Essential Self. Essential as in your essence—your core self, operating according to your core values.

Your Essential Self is really your human spirit. Your human spirit is meant to align with God’s Spirit, so that God’s Life flows through spirit to body and soul. This is where healing happens. This is why healing happens.

This is also why healing doesn’t happen. If heart issues block this flow of God-life, then dysfunction begins.

Healing is a spiritual matter.

When God’s Life does flow, and to the extent that it flows freely, everything becomes aligned with that God-life. We begin to know God as he really is, not as we have been conditioned by our relationships and/or past religious teachings to believe. We begin to connect with True God, and in so doing, we become more and more our True Self.

We can connect with other people better as well, when we’re aligned with God like this. Our Essential Self calls forth the Essential Self in others. Thus they, too, without even realizing it, are set on a path to healing, just because we are changing.

This was illustrated for me recently in talking to a client. She has had some difficult relationships with some of her siblings, and has worked hard to set healthy boundaries and let go of expectations. Recently, one of her siblings made a remark about herself indicating a level of self-awareness my client has never seen before. It hadn’t seemed possible that this sibling would ever say something like that. I believe that at least in part, the change was due to my client changing her own part of the relationship with her custom Healing Codes, and releasing the effects to her sibling.

If you understand The Healing Codes, you understand that everything is basically energy. Einstein said this more than 100 years ago. All energy has a frequency, a vibration. Every memory is energy that vibrates at a certain frequency. Some frequencies, such as the Schumann frequency of the earth, are healthy and life-giving. Some are destructive, such as man-made electro-magnetic frequencies (EMF).

With The Healing Codes, we change the frequencies of the negative images, memories and beliefs, which I believe reside in the information energy pattern in our DNA (cellular memories). When this happens, we “vibrate” at a higher level.

The “vibration” of our Essential Self, aligned with God, affects others. I have heard that if you put a bunch of pendulums in a room, all swinging in different rhythms, after 24 hours they will aleml swing to the same rhythm, according to the strongest pendulum.

Let’s be that “strongest pendulum.” Heal your heart matters because healing your heart matters. To you, to those in your circles of influence, to the world.

Step One in changing the world is to become your Essential Self, aligned with God so His life flows through you to others.

And if you would like help with healing your heart issues so that you can fully align with your divine design, visit HealingCodesCoaching.com and check out my coaching packages. Every custom client code is including Emotional Inflammation to clear away that new layer of negativity we’re all facing.

This week we had to face that fact that our beloved big black cat, Joey, the last of our pets, was too sick to treat, and had to put him down.

This is the first time in 20 years I have been petless, and I can hardly stand it. So I’ve been looking at descriptions of adoptable cats in local animal shelters.

This description struck of one particular cat struck me, and I’ll tell you why after you read it:

“Buddy is a 4 year old Superhero that possess abilities beyond those of ordinary cats. He can use his purr-powers to help your home become a better place. He wears his black & white logo with pride. He has other powers too, which include winning every race to the food bowl, out weighing most of his lap-cat competitors at 17.5 lbs, and able to make you love him in a single leap of faith! Buddy recently experienced a major life change when his beloved human was transferred to a senior home. Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back like Superheroes do, and is ready to save a new human with his unconditional love.”

That last line struck me: “Because he was so loved and cared for, he has bounced back. . . .”

That is what love does, for humans and animals: it makes us resilient, even in the face of loss. I feel drawn to Buddy; maybe he’ll be our next cat? Already he’s given me a lesson in resilience.

Coaching question: How can you draw on the love you have received in your most important positive relationships to help you “bounce back,” especially during these exceptional times? How can you offer love to another to help them become more resilient?

If you would like help healing your heart issues and opening up to love and be loved, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.

I was talking to a friend for the first time since this global shutdown came upon us.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

I answered, “Well, you know . . . it’s up and it’s down, good days and bad days, and today is not such a good day. The roller coaster ride of now.”

She repeated my sentence word for word, laughed, and said, “You have just nailed it.”

Up and down . . . good days and not so good days . . . the roller coaster ride of now.

And—the thing is—it doesn’t seem to matter what’s really going on.

For instance, a lot of great things are happening in my personal life right now. And in my clients’ lives. (Stay tuned, I have some real miracles to report!) I am focused on the positive, especially after last week’s revelation about how God searches out the positives and expands them. I am genuinely excited about coming into that space with him and allowing him to do that in my life, my relationships, my work.

And yet . . . yet the angst of the world’s suffering still seems to break in, even when I don’t watch the news much. It’s probably a factor in why I’m still easily triggered, like I was on Mother’s Day.

That Sunday held many wonderful things: my son and husband fixed something for me that delighted me, we had a nice meal with my son, the dog was here to play with.

However, a conversation with a relative had triggered me, and I just couldn’t get over it. I tried as best I could to focus on the positives, which did keep me from externally reacting. No one knew how lousy I felt inside.

The heaviness persisted until the next day, when I had that conversation with my friend. Somehow having her say she felt the same way, and knowing she really understood, lifted things a bit for me. Of course I worked on what was triggered with The Healing Codes and healing prayer, and that helped too.

In the end, though, I just had to go through it. Once I realized it was grief that was triggered, I just had to let those waves of grief roll over me, without fighting it.

The next day was better. And the day after that—well, the roller coaster ride continued, another wave rolled over, to mix my metaphors.

(Since it’s a mixed-up time anyway, it feels appropriate to mix my metaphors!)

So my friend, if this describes your journey as you attempt to slog through this unprecedented time, you are not alone. Someone said, “We are all in the same storm, but not in the same boat.”

It’s good to remember we’re not in the same boat. We all have our own “boats” to navigate, and it’s OK to realize that’s our first responsibility, to make sure our own boats stay afloat.

CC BY-ND by David McDonald45

It’s also good to realize that everyone is on overload right now, to one degree or another. We are all navigating this weird mix of constant change and uncertainty, while at the same time, sheltering at home for so long, everything is somewhat the same day to day. Too many of the events we looked forward to, too many of the everyday things that provided a break in our days (like seeing friends, or attending church or–getting our hair done!)–these are no longer possible until who knows when.

Seems like a stressful mix. A grief-filled mix. And the stress and grief spill out from everyone.

Many of us, especially the Highly Sensitive, are prone to taking on some of this negative energy that is projected out from other people (and is stoked constantly by the news media). One author calls it Emotional Inflammation: “a state not unlike post-traumatic stress disorder, but one that stems from simply living in today’s tumultuous world.”

If this feels like you, I have a visualization that was given to me in an Immanuel Prayer session some time ago. It has proven useful to me, and may be to you.

The visualization is simple: picture that your heart is actually a hole, open in front and back. You might even want to put your hands like so in front of your chest, to make it more conscious.

CC BY-NC-ND by Strep72

In my original vision, Jesus was behind me, like the catcher behind the mound as I was “up to bat.” Whatever came at me went straight through this heart hole, and Jesus caught it. Then he took care of it.

Some of the things he just threw away. Some of the things he tossed back to someone else. Sometimes he would give it back to me, saying, “This is something for you to deal with,” such as forgiving another person. And the rest—well, he knew what to do with it. I could leave it in his hands.

Now, especially in the mornings, I feel like a lot is coming at me. I suspect much of what I feel on any given down day is probably not even mine. I consciously open up my heart space, front and back, and picture God behind me, catching whatever it is and taking care of it. This helps me with the sense of heaviness I often wake up with these days, as if during sleep the unhealed energy of those I’ve been exposed to has settled upon me. Now at night I pray that this process of energy passing through me to God would happen during sleep, and it has helped me wake up feeling more refreshed.

Hearing bad news troubles me. I can’t help it; I’m a Highly Sensitive empath. When I learned that an 18-year-old autistic girl from our area went missing as she walked her dog in a flooded area, I immediately felt the anguish of her family. I had to let that pass through me with the prayer: “through me to you, Lord. Take care of everything.”

CC BY-NC by Pat McDonald

As you ride the waves of this storm that’s engulfing the world, those waves will take you up and down. Remember that you are not alone. We are all riding the waves. If you’re have a not-so-good day, it’s OK. Your feelings are valid, they are shared, and you can let them pass through you. The feelings are like the weather; they will change. Good feelings, bad feelings, both kinds will pass as we let them wash through us.

 

And for those feelings that are not even ours, that spill over onto our boat and threaten to sink us—let those pass through your heart space to the Lord. He is quite capable of taking care of all of it.

That belief is my anchor. I hope it can be yours, too.

If you would like personalized help in navigating your “boat” through these turbulent times, I’m just a few clicks away at HealingCodesCoaching.com. I’d love to come alongside you as your healing journey mentor.

How to Fully Process a Feeling

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Do you know how to fully process your emotions?

I sure didn’t, for most of my life.  I grew up in a family where emotions were never talked about. (I now know it’s called Childhood Emotional Neglect.) Sometimes people were angry or sad (hardly anything else), but I never saw anyone work through any of it, not even when something really tragic happened. I got the sense that feelings were a great inconvenience to other people. So I just stuffed them.

Making things worse, for me, was that I was born with the trait of High Sensitivity Processing, shared by 15-20% of the population. One of the four main aspects of the trait is “emotional responsiveness.” As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I was literally wired to be emotional. Yet it was a language that wasn’t spoken. No wonder I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere!

It wasn’t until I met April, in my twenties, that I got a clue that emotions might actually be useful. April was the first truly emotionally healthy person I had ever met up to that point. 

I got to know April really well from being in a small group at my church with her and her husband Bob, among others, for many years. She would regularly ask, “How do you feel about that?” or “How are you really?” And you knew she really cared, so you opened up to her. No surprise that she went on to become a licensed social worker, and a very successful therapist.

I recently saw April, and she spoke openly about what it’s been like to grieve the loss of her wonderful husband, Bob, with whom she had been in love since they were both 13. Bob was very special to my husband and me, as well.

Talking to April again, seeing how thoroughly she was processing her grief, reminded me how important it is to know how to feel and work through emotions so that they are fully processed. I hope what follows will help you in your own healing work. Read More→

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Do you believe a lie?

Of course you do. We all do. We all believe many lies.

And every lie we believe is the source of an issue in our lives.

According to the account in the first book of the Bible, Genesis 3, the whole world is under a curse because our first parents, Adam and Eve, believed a lie. They believed the serpent’s lie that God was holding back from them by not allowing them to eat from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

This worldview says that we were never meant to know evil. We were only meant to enjoy the goodness of all the other trees of the Garden of Eden that God had given them “freely to enjoy.”

When Adam and Eve “fell” because they believed the serpent’s lie, all of creation was affected.

The human race has been living by lies ever since, which is why the world is not perfect. When we believe a lie, we are affected in every area of our being: body, soul, and spirit. Starting with spirit. 

God had said, “In the day that you eat of [the forbidden tree], you will die.” Adam and Eve did not die physically that day. They did die spiritually.

What did that look like? Read More→

Tonight I met with my first client from China to do a Coach-Guided Healing Code.

It got me to thinking about the hundreds of clients I’ve worked with over the past 9 years of being a certified Healing Codes Coach-Practitioner, and what I’ve learned and observed.

First, I have the most wonderful clients in the world. Surprisingly, the vast majority of my clients are also Highly Sensitive. It’s surprising only because Highly Sensitive People only make up around 20% of the population, yet they comprise at least 80% of my clients. Perhaps it’s because The Healing Codes are so attractive to HSPs. It is a gentle process that involves meditation–an approach well-suited to HSPs.

With only one exception (more on that below), all of my clients are remarkably motivated to heal. Many of them have had overwhelming obstacles to overcome–abuse of all kinds, tremendous health challenges, financial hardships, and difficult relationship issues.

Yet they are not giving up! They are not victims. And, because of their commitment to their own healing, they do overcome. Many have dramatic breakthroughs.

These clients bolster my faith in the human spirit. Most people do want to be healthy and happy. God put that desire into us, and I believe he works with us to bring that about. With that commitment and help from God, it’s amazing how much people can overcome.

The one exception? A client with ALS whose doctor brought him to me as a last resort. The doctor warned me that she had little hope of his recovering, and soon I learned why. The man was completely devoid of love for anyone, including himself. I think we got through two sessions. I doubt he ever did his custom codes. He died of his illness within a few weeks of when I talked to him. His doctor said she wasn’t surprised, but had hoped that something could break through to him. Without his commitment to himself, however, no help could get through. Read More→

Pivotal Memories

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People often ask me what kinds of memories to start with to get the fastest, deepest healing. 

I always look for the “fractal memories”–those memories in which the core beliefs/feelings will repeat themselves and branch out to affect your life in all kinds of ways afterward. Heal these, and the ripple effects of healing begin effortlessly  to penetrate into all the areas of life affected by that memory.

In another post I talked about foundational memories. They are one kind of important fractal memory.

Another kind of fractal memory is what I call a pivotal memory. This would be a memory, usually conscious, that changed the course of your life. Something happened and you came to believe something about yourself that forever after influenced your life. Such memories can form your identity–for better or worse.

On the “better side,” pivotal memories can be quite positive. One important pivotal memory that shaped my entire future happened in college, when I fell in love with publishing. I was always a bibliophile and a writer, and the field fascinated me, so I decided I would major in English, but not teach. I would make a career in publishing.

Everyone told me, “It’s practically impossible to break into publishing.” Especially since I didn’t know anyone, even by the time I was a senior in college. Also, this was at a time when people with PhDs in English were driving taxi cabs.  Read More→

Dreams: Clues to Your Heart?

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Have you ever had a dream that somehow seemed important, but you didn’t know why?

It may be a message from your heart about what needs to be healed.

I have long been fascinated by dreams, ever since college days when I studied Carl Jung’s ideas on dreams and the symbols of the “collective unconscious.” I was a literature major, so images and symbols fascinated me.

Now, as a Healing Codes Practitioner, I hear from clients who sometimes tell me their dreams, and I’m struck by how often the dreams give clues to heart issues that need to be healed.

For instance, one woman shared this dream:I was a young girl and was attacked by a tiger, but it seemed to only give me a tiny surface scratch on my upper arm.  Later in the dream, I lifted up my sleeve and the wound was HUGE and festering and disgusting and dangerous and I  knew it would kill me if I didn’t heal it!  And in the dream I had not been at all aware what was going on under my shirt sleeve!  I thought the ‘wound’ was ‘nothing’ until I ‘uncovered’ the wound and learned it was actually horribly infected and was killing me!  My mother and brother were in that dream (key players in my hurtful childhood).  Obviously, it was full of symbolism about the pictures of the heart (things that seemed small when they happened are really festering and deadly if not dealt with using the Healing Codes!).  Pretty cool, huh?”

This client was becoming adept at seeing the connection and receiving the message from her heart. In fact, she also shared this (see if you can make a connection between this and her dream): “Interestingly, I am suddenly able to do the ‘kindness’ code in the Healing Codes manual!  I was in complete denial about that one up until after I had done your last custom code!  Suddenly, it was absolutely clear to me that the ‘kindness’ issue was one of my MAJOR problems!  Suddenly, I could see how all the ‘problems’ connected with the ‘kindness’ issue DO apply to me perfectly!  SO STRANGE that I could NOT see that before!  I just refused to acknowledge it and refused to see how any of that applied to me.  It’s obvious now. So I have been focusing on the ‘kindness’ code from the HC manual since the last custom code ‘expired’ and I can REALLY feel things happening inside of me!”

After she had the dream, and had used the custom Healing Code I gave her, this client was able to break through and work on an issue that may well have been at the core of her most troublesome issues.

See how it all works? A custom code “jump starts” healing to the point where the heart can begin to trust that, if it opens the door and lets some memories out, they will be healed rather than cause more hurt. (As The Healing Code explains, the role of the heart is to protect you from further emotional pain.) Once some memories are healed, the heart offers up more. Those are healed, and you begin a beautiful spiral upwards toward fullness of life.

Often a client will tell me that they have no memories. Here is where dreams can be especially helpful.  Here’s the key: Use your dream as the “memory” you are healing. Identify the feelings from the dream, and insert in the prayer of intention, where you would normally put the memory: “. . .  from the dream about. . . .”

If you have had recurring dreams, pay attention! Try healing “the [feeling(s)” from the dreams about. . .” Again, these are clues from the heart about something that needs to be healed.

If you feel “stuck” in any way, start telling your heart that you will pay attention to your dreams. Try to remember them when you awake, and even write down any dream that feels especially vivid.

Feelings and images are the things to pay attention to. This is not at all about “if you dream about such and such it means this will happen.” It’s about what feelings your dream calls up, and the images from the dream. They are images that will mean something to you. For instance, the “tiger” in my client’s dream could be any number of things. We had to explore what that symbol meant for her. If you had a similar dream, the tiger might mean something completely different.

So welcome your dreams, and the healing that follows!

If you need any help “jump starting” healing for your issue, or interpreting your dreams, or you just want someone to help you find hidden memories or guide your healing journey, visit my HealingCodesCoaching.com site. You’ll find all kinds of free help, as well as how to pursue more personalized coaching options.

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I‘ve often thought that one of the reasons The Healing Codes work so well is that you spend the bulk of your time focusing on something very positive. It’s this meditative aspect that makes them work, I believe, possibly more than the technique itself.

Yes, you identify the negative “heart issue” to be healed (in your prayer of intention at the beginning). But then when you point to the Healing Center positions of a Healing Code, you make the energy coming out of your fingertips positive because of your positive thoughts.

(This may sound “woo-woo” but it is actually a quantum physics thing. The energy of your intention actually makes something happen in the world of matter.)

Knowing this, the question becomes:

“What is the most positive thing I can focus on while

doing a Healing Code?”

There really is no formula. It is whatever positive thing you want to. Whatever works for you. Experiment.

Having said that, I know some people want some specific tips. So . . . Read More→

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