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diane
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Heather Dominick, mentor to Highly Sensitive Leaders, is teaching “Weekly Activation calls” on A Course in Miracles, and I’d like to share something that spoke to me from a recent call.
(While I’m not sure what I think of A Course in Miracles itself, I do like the way Heather gleans very practical principles from it and applies it to being Highly Sensitive. I also like the Course’s definition of miracle: “a shift in perception.”)
The Miracle she taught on that so struck me was #30, about guilt. She talked about how so often, guilt is used as a means to control. How many times has someone tried to guilt you into doing what they wanted?
So I asked her: How do you handle it when someone does this—they try to guilt you into something that isn’t right for you? (A situation I was currently experiencing.)
Heather asked me, “What do you usually do?”
I admitted that I usually want to be gracious, so often I give in. (In my case, the person was using all kinds of things, from “we’re family after all” to “A good Christian would….” The latter especially tended to hook me.)
Heather then helped me to see that being gracious does not mean giving in. I could trust that I can handle conflict from a place of grace, which doesn’t mean saying yes out of obligation. It means that I can fully accept that other people have feelings and viewpoints of their own, and they may not like mine, but I can come from a place of “both/and”– which is grace.
“Grace in not an act, but a way of acting,” she said. With grace, I can consider “you and me,” rather than “you or me.”
Coming from a place of “you or me,” someone has to lose, someone has to give in. I was thinking that giving in was somehow grace, but it would be an act. Approaching the situation with grace means I can approach the other person from a “both/and” place. I can access the words that communicate what I need, acknowledge what the other person needs, and be OK with the differing needs being at odds. If I’m in alignment with my own deepest values, I can stand firm, and trust that the other person will be able to take care of themselves.
And if they can’t—if they try to draw me into the Dreaded Drama Triangle of Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer, I can refuse to be pulled into that triangle. So often when people use guilt tactics, they try to pull you into one of more of these roles.
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diane
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Are you a person who is very spiritual by nature but you feel like you have to keep that part of you separate from your business success?
Most likely that’s because you are what Business Miracles Mentor, Heather Dominick, refers to as a Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur. Not sure what that is? Then take the Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur quiz here. You’ll also get her Success Guide to show you the next steps.
For years I followed Heather, and found her inspiring, refreshing, and encouraging. But when I finally signed up for her coaching (something I’ve been wanting to do for years, and this year the time was finally right)–well, I’ve seen many, many business (and life) miracles. (Definition of a miracle: a shift in perspective.)
The teachings and assignments are excellent, so carefully curated to move us ahead in the business, without overwhelm. In fact, that’s one of the HSE “shadows” that she purposefully helps us overcome, even as we move into our core strengths at an HSE.
This coaching program has helped me to gain confidence that, as she says, HSEs are uniquely positioned to help other people if we can learn to go with our HS strengths and not get snagged by the things that can trip us up….
Things like:
- what to do when you feel overwhelmed so it doesn’t stop you in your tracks.
- what you need to prioritize during your business day (so it feels good, gets done and generates income).
- who you need to speak to in order to attract your ideal clients (and how it doesn’t need to feel at all intimidating).
The carefully curated tools are designed to move us ahead, baby step by baby step. The coaching is amazing. I never knew such support existed.
During 2020, Heather stepped up the support even more. She offered those of us in the community extra “Exceptional Times Roundtable series” sessions to help us “rise up and lead through and beyond these exceptional times.” Those sessions were truly exceptional in the depth and practicality of what I and I’m sure others needed.
She also provided 5o days of “Exceptional Times Daily Activations”: 15 minutes or so of different ways to refocus us on the positive and access our Highly Sensitive strengths. Some of them moved me to tears.
I’m happy to report that these daily activation recordings are now available to anyone. Check them out here.
Heather says that for Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs and Leaders it can be tempting, when it all feels too much, to shut down, contract and try to protect yourself at all costs (or go into chaotic, panic, road runner mode). When what’s actually happening is you are receiving a call to OPEN UP, not give up.
It’s an opportunity to consider the possibility that there might be another way.
Opening myself up to that I think has led to many business miracles.
Despite the global pandemic and all that came with it, despite my breaking my foot in late September and having all that inconvenience (the worst being not able to take my daily walk that I’ve done for 25 years, rain or shine), this has been a year of miracles. My business is booming; in fact, I have a waiting list. I am moving in new directions. My clients are giving me rave reviews. And it is all so, so satisfying.
It’s not too late for Business Miracles in 2020 and beyond!
