Archive for highly sensitive
Nervous System Rx
Posted by: | CommentsI woke the other morning with two words in my mind: calm focus.
The words themselves had a calming effect. I often wake up feeling anxious, not sure why. Emotional inflammation? Maybe. Some of my other clients (especially the Highly Sensitive ones) report the same issue.
But this morning, those two words immediately seemed to override the anxiety.
I’ve been using them all day, returning to them again and again, especially as I begin a new task. Just saying the words to myself, calm focus, seems to bring that very thing into my being.
The word calm is calming in itself. Once I feel the calm, the question becomes, “How can I bring calm focus to this task?” That’s the mental part.
What words bring peace and calm to your nervous system?
It’s worth thinking about. More and more, I’m seeing how central the nervous system is to our health and well-being. I believe one of the reasons people heal from so many different ailments with The Healing Codes is that it displaces stress in the autonomic nervous system. Perhaps it strengthens the vagal tone of the vagus nerve, that all-important nerve that runs from the back of the ear (Jaws position?) all through just about every organ in the body (except the adrenal and thyroid glands). It’s the longest nerve in your body.

Image by Christine Schmidt from Pixabay
I’ve always found it intriguing that the test Dr. Alex Loyd used to validate The Healing Codes—Heart Rate Variability or HRV—is the same test that’s used to measure vagal tone.
Also, when the vagus nerve is stimulated, different maladies from Parkinsons to depression to addictions to rheumatoid arthritis tend to resolve. When “vagal tone” improves, everything in a person’s life improves: their health, their mood, their overall sense of well-being (just like with The healing Codes).
That’s why my theory is that The Healing Codes improve vagal tone–for a whole lot less money and hassle than the vagal tone stimulation provided only by some researchers. Perhaps because it’s a form of meditation, which is one of the ways to stimulate the vagus nerve and improve vagal tone.
Calming your nervous system by stimulating your vagus nerve can play a key role in your mental and physical health. As clinical psychologist Dr. Arielle Schwartz said, “By developing an understanding of the workings of your vagus nerve, you may find it possible to work with your nervous system rather than feel trapped when it works against you”–such as when you feel stressed.
One thing researchers also find is that when you don’t regularly stimulate the vagus nerve, any gains you had before tend to diminish. I’ve seen this happen too with clients who slack off on their Healing Codes. It needs to be a daily practice. Doing Healing Codes regularly and finding ways to keep in a calm state most of the day will lead, I believe, to long-terms healing.
Calm focus. That de-activates stress for me. What might work for you as you go about your daily business? It doesn’t have to be complicated!
I have developed several tools for calming and healing your nervous system. If you would like to know more about those tools, and a program to not only help you heal but Align with Your Divine Design(TM) so that every area of your life is transformed, contact me for more information.
What to Do When Your Day Gets Derailed
Posted by: | CommentsHave you ever had a day like this?
You start out with a plan, and high hopes of getting something important accomplished.
Then you get a notice of some kind. Let’s say it’s a low balance alert from your bank.
You go to fix that, and notice that there is a charge on your account that is way more than it always has been for like, the last 10 years. Like, more than 10x the amount. Of course, it’s an automatic charge.
You go to the vendor in question, to see if there’s any notification or explanation of when or why this suddenly exorbitant charge came about.
What you find: There’s no way to post a support ticket, no clue as to why suddenly this charge was made or was more than 10x as much.
You open what looks to be a support chat. The bot says they’ll be with you, and the window will remain open for you to keep checking back. (Like, I have all day to keep going back to check.)
You get an email saying, “For the fastest response possible, please do not update this ticket until you hear from one of our advocates.”
The next thing you hear from them is an email saying that you left the chat.
Case closed, apparently.
As you can guess, this happened to me. It reminded me of one of my favorite children’s books.
The incident I described was the first of about 5 things that attempted to derail me from the task I meant to get to first thing in the morning (which was this blog post).
I started to deal with the low balance alert at 10:30am. I finally got back to it at 4:30pm. And by the way, I disputed the charge on my debit card, and stopped automatic payments with that vendor. I don’t want to do business with a company like that.
Seems like modern life is full of such frustrations, doesn’t it? At least, if you have to deal with technology of any kind. (And who doesn’t, nowadays?) Especially, they tell me, when mercury is in retrograde as it is now–whatever that means.
So what do you do when you have a day full of interruptions, frustrations, and technological glitches?
What I did today: I kept re-returning.
I know that seems like a redundant term. But it reminds me that I can come back, again and again and again, to where I want to be.
I can shake off the frustration and refocus on my initial goal. (My Release & Infuse Technique really helps here.)
So that’s what I did. I released “anger, frustration, derailment, lashing out, and giving up. “
I infused “productivity, patience, peace, joy, and focus.”
And I got this written.
If you’d like this tool that allows you to clear negative energy is less than 3 minutes, and re-return to the state of mind you want, just go here. It’s free.
This technique is especially helpful if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person and/or empath who tends to take on other people’s energy.
A client told me yesterday she had one of her headaches come on, and she used the Release & Infuse Technique, and the headache went away right afterward!
Side note: The good that came from this day, which seemed wasted in so many ways, was that I got to write this piece. Perhaps for YOU. I am learning that when I roll with the changes (accept and adapt) and trust God to bring good out of the seemingly bad, I do see good.
The other day my friend told me her whole family was sick with stomach flu or perhaps food poisoning, yet it turned out to be a sweet, peaceful day of being together, despite the yuck.
God can bring good out of any “yuck.” If we re-return to trust and surrender, that is. The Release & Infuse Technique shows you how. My gift to you.
And if you would like personalized help for healing your heart issues, releasing old beliefs and infusing new ones to transform your life, check out my coaching packages at HealingCodesCoaching.com.
Are You Too Nice for Your Own Good?
Posted by: | CommentsI always thought it was a good thing to be a nice person, and strove to be a nice person myself.
Until I read this article by Jason Henry.
Henry says that people who are are “nice” (as opposed to “good”) are people who don’t want to hurt others because they were so hurt and traumatized in the past and didn’t heal, that they make a vow (perhaps unconscious) to never make others feel the way they felt.
Perhaps those who possess the trait of high sensitivity are even more susceptible to this. I’ve often thought that HSPs were the nicest people in the world. Because we feel so deeply and take in so much, including our own suffering and that of others, we often bend over backwards to make sure we don’t cause suffering to other people.
Sounds noble, right? Even, perhaps, “Christian.” Do not do unto others as they have done unto you.
However, Henry says that when you dissect this vow for its ramifications, there are several big problems. Read More→
What Would It Be Like to Never Feel Guilty?
Posted by: | CommentsHeather Dominick, mentor to Highly Sensitive Leaders, is teaching “Weekly Activation calls” on A Course in Miracles, and I’d like to share something that spoke to me from a recent call.
(While I’m not sure what I think of A Course in Miracles itself, I do like the way Heather gleans very practical principles from it and applies it to being Highly Sensitive. I also like the Course’s definition of miracle: “a shift in perception.”)
The Miracle she taught on that so struck me was #30, about guilt. She talked about how so often, guilt is used as a means to control. How many times has someone tried to guilt you into doing what they wanted?
So I asked her: How do you handle it when someone does this—they try to guilt you into something that isn’t right for you? (A situation I was currently experiencing.)
Heather asked me, “What do you usually do?”
I admitted that I usually want to be gracious, so often I give in. (In my case, the person was using all kinds of things, from “we’re family after all” to “A good Christian would….” The latter especially tended to hook me.)
Heather then helped me to see that being gracious does not mean giving in. I could trust that I can handle conflict from a place of grace, which doesn’t mean saying yes out of obligation. It means that I can fully accept that other people have feelings and viewpoints of their own, and they may not like mine, but I can come from a place of “both/and”– which is grace.
“Grace in not an act, but a way of acting,” she said. With grace, I can consider “you and me,” rather than “you or me.”
Coming from a place of “you or me,” someone has to lose, someone has to give in. I was thinking that giving in was somehow grace, but it would be an act. Approaching the situation with grace means I can approach the other person from a “both/and” place. I can access the words that communicate what I need, acknowledge what the other person needs, and be OK with the differing needs being at odds. If I’m in alignment with my own deepest values, I can stand firm, and trust that the other person will be able to take care of themselves.
And if they can’t—if they try to draw me into the Dreaded Drama Triangle of Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer, I can refuse to be pulled into that triangle. So often when people use guilt tactics, they try to pull you into one of more of these roles.
Healing from “Not Enough”
Posted by: | CommentsWhen I wrote last December about “settling into the energy of enough,” I had no idea it would be such a journey.
I thought it would be a simple process of figuring out what “enough” was, via reading a bit about Minimalism, clear some space physically, mentally, and emotionally. I thought it would be mostly about gratitude. I did not think it would not be a big deal.
After all, haven’t I been doing healing work every single day since 2007?
Well, it’s turned into quite an undertaking. Turns out, “settling into the energy of Enough” is a lot more involved than I thought.
First of all, there’s the becoming aware of how pervasive and deep “not enough” is for me. Who knew?
I began to realize that it goes all the way back to childhood (as most things seem to do—sigh). Because I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect and was so different from my family (highly sensitive), “not good enough” became a big part of me. Though I excelled at school, the family was indifferent to it. My father often said, “I wish my boys had your brains.” I took that to mean they were wasted on a girl. All that mattered for girls, in the culture I grew up in, was that they be pretty and please others, especially men.
Also, there was “not enough” of other things in the family. Attention, love, interest, money. As an adult, trying to grasp this suddenly huge issue of “enough,” I realize I continued the process by denying myself so many things that are really “me,” in favor of doing “what’s expected” (which was a big value in my family).
Religion also plays a role in this “not enough.” Distorted or incomplete religious teachings can lead you to feel you’re not good enough for God unless you do X, Y, or Z. Even if you do grasp the meaning of grace, which is what true spirituality is all about, there’s often the subtle pressure in churches to “serve.” This is fine, but when there’s the sense that you can never really serve enough, the needs are so great and you’re being selfish to think of your own needs when there are so many people worse off than you who need what you have—then, at least for me—it becomes very toxic.
It’s not just religious communities who can send that message, either. Work environments can also foster this “not enough” mindset. “You won’t be successful if you don’t push harder, put in more hours than other people.”
You’re not enough. You don’t do enough. You don’t know enough. There is not enough. These messages are everywhere, aren’t they? Advertising is based on it.
Just becoming aware of how “not enough” affects you is the first step. Bring this unhealthy belief and the memories behind it to your Healing Code work! Using the Truth Focus Statement, I am enough, I do enough, I know enough, I have enough, there is enough has been quite a help. As I have worked with this, oh the freedom I’m experiencing!
If “not enough” is an issue for you, I would love to come alongside you on your healing journey and help you find the freedom to be you as well. Check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.
Resilience: The Hidden Invitation of Exceptional Times
Posted by: | CommentsAs I write this, many people from all over the world have been “sheltering in place,” to one degree or another, for at least a month.
In that time, we have all been thrown into collective grief and shock, because the changes have happened so swiftly, so totally.
Every aspect of our lives have changed—forever.
Things will never be the same.
We need to grieve that. There are some days when grief looms large indeed for me.
Grief not only for what I’ve lost, but as a Highly Sensitive empath, I also feel the pain of countless others who are suffering.
Suffering the loss of loved ones. Loss of work. Loss of a business into which they have poured themselves.
And I can’t even think of the children who are abused, trapped in homes with parents who formerly could not bear the stress, and who now are at the breaking point.
Or other victims of domestic violence.
For everyone, a way of life has been changed forever, more or less, in one way or another.
How do we cope? Is there any way to come out of this crisis stronger?
I believe there is. If we can embrace the hidden invitations of this strange time, we will develop strengths that we can bring into the “new normal” we will soon, we hope, be able to forge.
What we need is resilience. Here are two steps to develop your resilience.
Step One: Find the Joy Amid the Suffering
The first hidden invitation, and a big part of the healing process, is to learn to find joy even in the midst of the suffering.
Joy? In the midst of suffering? Is that possible? Read More→