Archive for relationship issues finder

Did you know that there’s a place in your brain that literally lights up when you’re with someone who is glad to see you, glad to be with you?

And that when these “joy centers” or “relational circuits” light up,  a certain hormone–oxytocin–releases into your body and does all kinds of wonderful things to you, including promoting healing?

When your Relational Circuits are ON, you can live in love, joy, and peace, even if your circumstances are not so ideal.

When they are Off, you are in fear and stress mode. Then another hormone–cortisol–takes over, and that does bad things to your body over time.

So how do you know whether your Relational Circuits (RCs) are on or off?

Here’s how you feel when they’re OFF:

  1. You just want to make a problem, person or feeling go away.
  2. You don’t want to listen to what others feel or say.
  3. Your mind is “locked onto” something upsetting.
  4. You don’t want to be connected to ___ (someone you usually like).
  5. You just want to get away, or fight, or freeze.
  6. You more aggressively interrogate, judge and try to fix others.

If you answered yes to any of these, your Relational Circuits are OFF.

And having your RCs off “is like trying to see with your eyes closed or driving your car at night with the headlights off!” No fun–even dangerous.

So how do you turn them back on, so that you see the person as more important than the problem, and can operate from love, respect, humility, and peace?

There are things you can do with your body to actually help you “wake up” your RCs. Read More→

I just got back from a healing service at our church. It was part of the “Fully Alive” series my pastor and his wife are doing on sexuality.

In one part of this healing service, Stewart Ruch and his wife Katherine addressed mother wounds. As I sat there, I thought about my own history.

Within a week after I was born, I got very sick. There was some kind of abdominal obstruction. The doctor who operated on me said sewing up my skin was like sewing wet tissue paper; I was that fragile.

The operation was a success, and was written up in some medical journal. I, however, developed pneumonia and at one point, burst my stitches. They had to put staples in to hold me together.

All that kept me in the hospital for at least 6 weeks.

A nurse who worked in the NICU in that era told me what it was like: “The babies belonged to us. They never saw their mothers. We would prop them with a bottle to feed them.”

I did not get a chance to bond with my mother. It was not her fault.

When I came home, my mother was very scared she might do something wrong. She had to keep my older brother, who was two, away from me, because I was still so fragile. I think my first experiences of my mother must have been awash with fear and guilt.

Yet, sitting there in the healing service, searching my heart for any wound, anything to forgive, I found nothing.

Not even the memory of a wound.

That’s how complete that healing was, after several years of Healing Codes work.

My mother and I never were close until after she started doing Healing Codes herself, at age 76. She is a completely different person now. As her heart issues healed, our relationship bloomed. So did her relationship with God. Her memories of childhood came back, including some good ones that she at first thought she never had.

We now have the mother-daughter relationship I never thought possible. And remember, it didn’t start until Mom was 76. It’s never too late to heal!

This, my friends, is why I believe so much in the Healing Codes. They are a tool in the hand of God to heal. It is God who heals, but this tool makes it so much easier for us to position ourselves for that healing.

If you have a relationship that needs healing, I encourage you to take the free Heart Issues Finder with that relationship in mind. It will help you pinpoint what areas of the relationship and your “heart issues” need the most attention. Also take the Love Styles quiz to learn what kind of “love style” pattern you learned from your family.

And if you want to get some coaching and powerful custom Healing Codes for your relationship issue. feel free to check out my coaching at www.healingcodescoaching.com.

 

Breakthrough in Healing

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I had a recent breakthrough in an issue that I’ve been trying to heal, off and on, for a number of years.

It healed me on all levels: relationally, spiritually, and physically.

The breakthrough came through a total shift in perspective toward a particular person. It felt like God was breaking through, showing me how He sees this person. What resulted was nothing short of miraculous, at least to me.

The peace that had eluded me finally came in–and has stayed with me, even as things in my outer world became turbulent.

The relationship improved at least 80%, and just in time: a crisis hit almost immediately. Without my new perspective, I would have responded very, very differently. Now, I am in the crisis still with this amazing peace, and able to truly be a support to this person in the crisis that affects both of us.

In fact, I’m feeling nothing but peace, love, hope, and even joy in the midst of a lot of uncertainty in our outer world.

This, my friends, is what healing from a heart issue looks like.

It’s not that things are perfect on the outside. They are not. A few weeks ago, I might have felt like my world was falling apart. But now I’m able to be fully in the present, without the overlay of memories of the past coloring the present. In the present, I am finding grace to deal with what is, now.

Interestingly, a nagging physical issue also seems to have healed.

Read More→

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