Archive for running on empty

Gifts from My Mentors

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From Thanksgiving to Christmas, I like to acknowledge the people who have enriched my life during the past year.

This includes, of course, my personal friends and colleagues. But you don’t know them. You can know and benefit from some of my “virtual mentors,” and those are the ones I want to tell you about.

As I reflected on those whose work has enriched either my spirit, soul, mind or body through sharing their expertise, several people came to mind.

Spirit. The most influential–and healing–approach I have ever come across is the Immanuel Approach, developed by Dr. Karl Lehman, a psychiatrist and the author of Outsmarting Yourself and The Immanuel Approach (which we Immanuel Prayer ministers, and he, refer to as “the big lion book” because it’s exhaustive at 759 pages!). From Outsmarting Yourself, I learned about “implicit memory” and how we get triggered, and how to calm body and mind. Dr. Karl Lehman’s work is all about how to let God come in and be with you in the pain, and thus heal it.

I was trained by Margaret Webb and Jessie Handy from Alive and Well in Immanuel Prayer, and continued with training from Dr. Karl Lehman through his Advanced Training seminar and monthly meetings in which local prayer ministers gather to watch and discuss a video of Dr. Lehman facilitating someone in Immanuel Approach. I also meet every other week with other prayer ministers to give and receive Immanuel Prayer.

What has healed me the most, and creates the bedrock of my spiritual life, are my direct interactions with the Lord through these prayer sessions. What has healed my clients the most are the times we use Immanuel Prayer in a Coach-Guided Healing Code. More on that, including videos of my facilitating and receiving Immanuel Prayer, and links to more information, can be found here.

I want to honor Dr. Karl Lehman and Alive and Well for their excellent work. There is no healing like the healing you get when Immanuel–“God with us”– directly intervenes into your issue.

Soul. By “soul” here I mean my emotions, mainly. (As distinct from my spirit, mentioned above; spirit is connection to God and others. I believe our spirit is meant to connect to God’s Spirit, and from that connection life flows to body, mind, and soul, and out to our relationships.)

My mentor in soul healing has been Dr. Jonice Webb, through her book, Running on Empty, and her excellent articles. From her I learned that I grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect, and the impact that has had on me since. I learned why I (and so many of my clients) don’t have many childhood memories; it’s because memories are formed through emotion, and if there was not enough emotional support as a child, you don’t form many memories. You’re also haunted by a feeling of emptiness or “not being enough.” Dr. Jonice Webb has helped me identify my feelings and learn how to embrace and work with them. This has also helped me use Immanuel Prayer better, and to help my clients feel and deal with their emotions.

If you’re not sure CEN is part of your experience, take this assessment to find out and learn more about her excellent work.

Mind (and body and soul). I wasn’t sure where to put Julie Bjelland and what I’ve been learning from her about living well with Sensory Processing Sensitivity (otherwise known as being a Highly Sensitive Person or HSP), because it’s all-encompassing.

I have learned brain-training techniques, breathing techniques, how to calm my nervous system, how to track my stress levels, and so much more from Julie’s course and from her Sensitive Empowerment group. I have also received much validation about the unique experiences of being an HSP, through the Sensitive Empowerment community. And, since most of my clients are HSPs, I have been able to pass on a lot of what I’ve learned to them. Many express how life-changing it has been to learn about this inborn trait, which about 20% of at least 100 species possess, and how to thrive with it.

Thank you, Julie, and my fellow HSPs in the Sensitive Empowerment community!

Body. This has been The Year of the Summits, and I’m a bit tired out from it all. But one teaching stands out.

That would be Ari Whitten’s Energy Blueprint. Ari’s information is science-backed–he really takes the time to do the research, which I appreciate. (Julie Bjelland also keeps her guidance rooted in science.) I am learning (since I’m still working through the course) about circadian rhythms and mitochondria, and how they affect our energy and health at the most basic level. (Remember, I’m all about “healing AT the source,” the only way true healing happens.) While “heart issues” are at the source of so many of our problems, including physical, there is a dynamic interplay between our environment and our physical well-being as well. These days, so many things in our environment work against the way God designed our bodies to work. Ari Whitten is helping me understand how we are made, what environmental factors put extra stress on our bodies (especially true for HSPs, by the way), and what lifestyle changes we can make to mitigate the negatives and foster our own body’s balance and energy system.

You can take his extensive, free Energy Blueprint Masterclass by signing up here. Click here or on the picture link to get his free eblook on science-backed supplements for energy enhancement.

Relationships. I’ve already mentioned Dr. Jonice Webb. Her second book, Running on Empty No More, talks about how CEN affects relationships. If you grew up with CEN, or your partner did, please read this book as well as Running on Empty.

Another influential book for me in terms of my marriage is How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. My husband and I took a class on this a year ago, and continue to meet with an amazing group of couples who are uncommonly open and honest. It is a precious group.

You can take the Love Styles quiz to find out how you learned to relate to people based on your family background. I highly recommend it and ask my clients to take this before our session, as it gives a better context for our work together.

There you have it–my current mentors for spirit, soul, mind and body, carefully curated for you. Check them out as you feel led. You can find the assessments for CEN, Love Styles, and High Sensitivity here.

 

With The Healing Codes, we look for memories that carry the same kind of feeling as the main issue that bothers us. The idea is that what bothers you now is likely attached to something called “implicit” memory (memories hidden in the subconscious mind), and if we find and heal that original memory, the current issue will resolve.

But what if, like many people, you can’t find any memories with that feeling?

Maybe you’ve had that feeling most of your life. Maybe you have very few childhood memories, period.

All the more reason to use something like The Healing Codes, because the original memories are likely so painful, that your Heart wants to protect you from the pain of remembering.

(This why, by the way, a lot of times “talk therapy” alone isn’t very effective. I had a therapist tell me, point blank, “therapy doesn’t heal anything.” We need a way to get at these implicit memories that carry the original lie.)

If you can’t remember much from your childhood, it may well be for yet a different reason. It could be because you grew up with Childhood Emotional Neglect.

Running on Empty

What happens when you grow up in a family in which emotions were not acknowledged, validated, and dealt with?

In her excellent book, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional NeglectDr. Jonice Webb says that it’s not necessarily what happened to you that can cause problems. What failed to happen for you as a child “has as much or more power over who you have become as an adult than any of the events that you do remember.”

Some call it Type A trauma–the Absence of nurturing. And it can be just as damaging as Type B trauma, where the bad stuff like abuse happened.

Memories are formed when you feel strong emotions around an event. If your feelings were ignored, if no one ever helped you process your emotions, it can have an insidious effect on your life as an adult.

That’s because our brains record events as memories. Things that fail to happen go unnoticed, unseen, and unremembered.

You might struggle with self-discipline and self-care, of feel unworthy, disconnected, unfulfilled. Empty.

If you have the trait that 20% of the population has, High Sensitivity, where your nervous system is wired to process things deeply (including emotions), susceptible to over-stimulation (sensory or emotional), emotionally reactive, and sensitive to subtle stimuli–Childhood Emotional Neglect does even more harm.

When you’re Highly Sensitive, emotions are your native language. That’s a big part of the trait–emotional reactivity. If your language is not spoken or understood in your family, to them you were constantly speaking gibberish. You may have  been shamed or ridiculed. You may have tried to shut down, to turn off those feelings.

Thus you may have few memories, a feeling of emptiness and more likely than not, problems with your health, relationships, and/or career.

Emotion is energy, and that energy has to go somewhere. If it’s appropriately processed, it goes to a memory that becomes part of your life.

If it’s not properly processed, it becomes hidden trauma, and it goes into the body and mind and causes illness and disease. More and more scientific evidence points to emotional issues as the source of many if not most physical problems.

Then of course, there are the mental, emotional, and relational problems that show up because of hidden, unhealed memories. In How We Love, Milan and Kay Yerkovich identify five “injured Love Styles” that can show up in families where there has been emotional neglect or other circumstances that interfere with a strong, secure emotional bond with caregivers early in life.

What’s the solution? How to you begin to heal what Jonice Webb calls “the invisible force that may be at work in your life”?

Reconnect with Your Emotions

First, you may need to relearn the language of feelings. Just allow yourself to name the feelings, to yourself and others. For some, this may not be easy. You may feel shame for having certain feelings, or having feelings at all.

Or you may have trouble even identifying your feelings. Running on Empty includes several pages of feelings words, and so does How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

Ask yourself when you felt that way earlier in your life. If a memory comes up, heal it with The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer.

If no memory comes up, don’t sweat it. Just say in your Healing Code Prayer of Intention, “… from the childhood emotional neglect.” Assume that’s the source.

If you have any fear around the idea of welcoming emotions into your life, start with healing that fear. We always start where we are. Ask, “What’s bothering me? What exactly am I feeling? When did I feel like that before”? If the answer to that last question is, “All my life!” then that’s what you put into the prayer: “from a lifetime of emotional neglect.”

These questions will help you move forward in your healing journey.

And if you ever need more help, e.g. with finding hidden memories, just contact me at www.healingcodescoaching.com for some coaching.

 

 

 

I began doing The Healing Codes in June 2007, and by the summer of 2015 I wrote a blog about my healing journey to that date. Here’s what I wrote, and then you’ll get updates at the end.

This summer marked 8 years of my doing Healing Codes, and I thought I’d give you an idea of what kinds of healing I’ve experienced over those 8 years.

I do Healing Codes every day, rarely skipping a day (because I feel it when I do), usually at least twice daily.

All I had back in 2007 was The Healing Codes Manual, which I waited several years to get from the time I had first heard about The Healing Codes. All that was available then was the $700 package.

When I started doing The Healing Codes, I was on medications for asthma, allergies, thyroid, hormone replacement, and another condition I’d rather not name.

I started working through The Twelve Categories (unforgiveness, harmful actions, unhealthy beliefs, love, joy, peace, etc.–see chapter 11 of The Healing Code, or the Heart Issues Finder.) When I got to the Peace category, I had a major “healing response.” I didn’t know it at the time; I thought it was food poisoning. I didn’t have a coach.

Three months after that, I had a TIA, or mini-stroke. I recovered completely, but the tests showed the TIA was caused by a PFO (hole in the heart), so I was enrolled in a clinical trial. The details of that story can be seen on my video, but the upshot was that apparently The Healing Codes had closed up the hole. I was taken off all blood thinners within a few months.

In that first year, all kinds of physical things appeared, then disappeared without treatment: ovarian cysts, breast lumps, worsened allergy symptoms, and probably other things I can’t remember. I was always running to the doctor for this and that, until I learned more about how this energy medicine worked. Once I understood that these physical manifestations could be signs of healing, not disease, I started to wait awhile to see if things would resolve. They did.

So what kind of healing have I experienced over these years?

Read More→

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