Archive for stress
Flip the Switch
Posted by: | CommentsI was talking to my friend the other day, telling her about the two current big stressors in my life.
With one, there is an end in sight, though when exactly that will come about is uncertain.
With the other, there is no end, at least not a good one, unless some miracle happens. (Which I believe is entirely possible.)
I told my friend that what produces the most anxiety is that I never know what’s going to happen–when some unexpected thing concerning either of these two things will hit me. Seems like I’m derailed daily by things out of my control.
But then I remembered some of the unexpected good things that happened to me in the past week. And it hit me: Instead of living in dread of the unexpected bad things, I could “flip the switch.”
CC BY-SA by Marcus Q
Many mornings these days I’d wake up feeling anxious, with that sense of dread over “what might I be hit with today?” Some of it is no doubt “emotional inflammation“: me as a Highly Sensitive empath picking up on “what’s in the air.” But what if I could counter the automatic response with something deliberate?
What if I intentionally switched the “I wonder what will hit me today?” to, “I wonder what unexpected good thing will happen today?”
(You may recall that I wrote about how the same circuit in the brain where anxiety and fear reside, curiosity also dwells. You can’t be anxious and curious at the same time.)
Intentionally activating curiosity, and anticipating that good things will happen unexpectedly, totally shifted things for me. I become very excited about the day. My mood, my creativity and productivity skyrocket.
I’ve already been in the habit of ending the day by looking back at what went well, keeping a “gifts journal.” It is a good way to end the day.
This new practice provides a great way to begin the day as well. It’s done wonders to decrease anxiety levels.
It’s not just “positive thinking,” either. It’s based on truth and initiates a shift in perspective. God does give us many gifts in a day, if only we open our eyes to see and receive them. (I published a whole book on this, Abundant Gifts.)
Try it, I think you’ll really like it!
And if you’d like a custom Healing Code and some coaching to help you heal those things that stress you, and integrate this practice into your life, check out my coaching packages at HealingCodesCoaching.com. Also my Abundant Gifts blog, where you can find instructions on how to keep a “gifts journal” and a couple of ways to do it.
Simple Stress-Reducing Technique
Posted by: | CommentsIn a seminar for caregivers of people with dementia, I learned of a new (to me) technique that switches the nervous system to the parasympathetic (rest and digest) mode.
I’m thinking it would probably be especially helpful for those of us who are Highly Sensitive. (Take the quiz if you’re not sure you are.)
It’s called 5-4-3-2-1 and it only takes a couple of minutes.
When you feel yourself stressed or overwhelmed, stop, notice, and name (actually say the words out loud):
- 5 things you can see.
- 4 things you can feel.
- 3 things you can hear.
- 2 things you can smell.
- 1 thing you can taste.
This will ground you in the present and send your nervous system the signal that you are safe. It will turn off stress and allow healing to happen.
You can also do this with children, or your partner, or a friend who is in distress.
And if you’d like more help in ways to alleviate stress so that you can heal, check out the free resources and coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.
Holiday Stress Rx
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As you can see, another thing I don’t do well is take pictures with my iphone!
Yesterday morning, I was chatting with a small group of friends about Christmas preparations.
We were in my living room, where the Christmas tree stood, adorned with only lights. I explained how it was a lit tree, but this year, only the middle lights worked. We’ve had a heck of a time finding lights to fill in the spaces. All the new lights are LED, or 300 per string. Neither my husband nor I care to spend loads of time looking for lights. So there the tree stands as we decide whether this is enough lights, or we need more, before I put on the decorations.
One woman said last year, she never got around to putting on the ornaments. She just likes the lights. That may be what I do. And though all 4 other women agreed that my tree needs more lights, I just may say, “Enough.”
And then one of my friends said, “Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.”
We all kind of cringed at this. We’re all women with lots of responsibilities and high standards. We’d like to believe this … but it’s not so easy.
We laughed when someone said, “G.K. Chesterton said that,” because we all believe him to have been a very wise man, so that means we can really believe it.
Why am I telling you this? Because so many of us have these unconscious, high standards that keep us in overwhelm or guilt. Especially at this time of the year.
Somewhere in our subconscious (Heart), there is this image of The Ideal. Perhaps it’s the kind of Christmas you grew up with, and your images are all rosy, and you want to recreate that for your family.
Or, on the flip side, maybe your holiday memories are so painful, you want to do everything possible to create a perfect holiday season for your family now.
I remember when my image of The Ideal was born. It was in my senior year of high school, with a teacher I admired. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she put forth the image of a really fine, admirable person as someone who “does all things well.” Unconsciously, I absorbed that image into the kind of person I wanted to be.
It’s been hard to let that person morph into a more realistic image of someone who only does a few things well, and is OK with doing in other areas just enough to get by.
I read somewhere that it takes 10,000 hours to achieve the level of mastery. None of us has 10,000 hours to master everything. Trying to “do all things well,” i.e. achieve mastery in everything, is impossible and foolish to try to attain.
This holiday season has brought out how I try to do too many things too well, so I’m working on this with my Healing Codes. I’m constructing a new persona that knows her strengths and builds on them, and is OK with “getting by” in other areas. I’m rewriting that old belief that the only worthwhile, admirable person is someone who “does all things well.”
So if you’re feeling stressed this holiday season, I encourage you to take a bit of time to reflect on what image you might be trying to live up to, or what unhealthy belief is driving you. Try to see if you can trace the origin of it. (But if you can’t, that’s fine—just address the feeling and/or wrong belief the any memories attached to it.) If you want help with that, I’m always here for you!
And if one of the things that’s stressing you is, “What do I give so and so,” perhaps you would like to give the gift of healing in the form of a custom Healing Code. Visit this page and see the options.
I pray this holiday season will be one of joy, not stress for you. I encourage you to focus on the One Thing you can do to make this holiday memorable for you and your family or other loved ones. Ask what would give others joy, and then see what you can do to make that happen.
And then, let go of the rest. Forget Normal Rockwell and Thomas Kinkade; those sentimentalized scenes were never real life anyway.
Give Thanks for–Bee Stings?
Posted by: | CommentsSeveral months ago, I posted about the incredible stresses my family has experienced all at once.
That was back in December.
Things only got worse after that. Much worse. And they’ve continued until … now.
I honestly don’t know where I’d be without The Healing Codes during this time. That, and the things I mentioned in that earlier post.
It’s been a life-lab showing me exactly how The Healing Codes help you deal with stress.
The Healing Codes don’t do anything to prevent the kinds of outward stresses I’m facing (death of a loved one, financial pressures, major upheavals in schedule and living, technology hassles, betrayal by friends, legal issues, blah blah blah).
What they do for me is keep me current with reality. Because so much has already healed, I wasn’t “triggered” as much as I would otherwise have been.
When I was triggered–when something bothered me way more than the situation warranted–then I looked for the “heart issue” to heal.
When you’re healed, you have much more energy to deal with current reality, and you’re dealing ONLY with current reality.
So, for instance, if you’re rejected by someone (or you perceive you are), if you have unhealed rejection memories the recent rejection will feel like you’re being stung by a hive of bees. Each “bee sting” would be an unhealed memory of rejection.
But when those memories are healed, that recent rejection will be just like one bee sting. Unpleasant, but you can deal with it.
As these multiple stresses come at me, I can tell which ones are triggering an unhealed memory and which are not. I go to work on addressing the unhealed memories that get triggered. And before long, I am back to dealing just with the current stressor.
The one bee sting.
And either way, I thank God.
I thank God when I am able to deal with just an issue at hand. I thank Him for the healing I’ve received already in that area.
When I do get triggered, I thank God for the stressor because it is uncovering an issue that can now be healed.
Gratitude is a beautiful thing. I speeds healing. I encourage you to add it to your healing work.
