The Healing Power of Love
By"I went out to breakfast with my friend yesterday," Mary, my crossing guard friend, told me as I stopped to chat on my walk."She made me feel so loved. I went home and got so much done yesterday! And I didn't need to use my nebulizer [for asthma] once!"
Mary's experience reminded me of the tremendous healing power of love. In my work with clients as a Healing Codes Coach/Practitioner, I encourage them to come up with a "love picture" to focus on while doing a Healing Code. A love picture is a memory of a time when they felt very loved and secure.
Sadly, some people have trouble coming up with even one loving memory for a love picture.
This week, I think I created a love picture for myself and my daughter–from the most unlikeliest of experiences. I would label this love picture, "Misery shared."
My daughter, Christine, went to bed the other night with a queasy stomach. "Uh-oh," I thought. Two nights before, I'd been up all night with stomach flu. Now it was her turn.
At 1:30 a.m., I heard her in the bathroom. I got up and went to her. For the next four and a half hours I stayed with her, holding her head as she retched every 15 minutes. She kept saying, "I'm going to die."
Because I'd been through it myself, I had an idea of just how long this part of it would last (though I was not nearly as sick as she was, thanks most likely to Healing Codes). So I told her it would be over soon, she'd be okay. All I could really do was be with her, hold her hands or her head, try to get a bit of water in her, and pray. I prayed that God's love would flow through me and help her heal, and that someday, she would remember this night and know that Someone else was with her, too. The One who was giving me strength to love despite still feeling weak from my own bout with this virus.
After about 4 hours, she held my hands tightly and said, "I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I was unsympathetic when you were sick." Sweet words, especially coming from a teenager! Shortly after that, she was finally able to lie down and sleep.
That night changed something in our relationship.I think she felt in a new way that I love her. The love that she knew in her head was there, penetrated deeper into her heart. And mine, too.
By God's grace, a miserable experience was transformed into a love picture that perhaps she will cling to someday. When she remembers that night–and she will, because she'd never been sicker–I hope what will stand out was not the misery, but the memory of someone being with her. And I pray that she will know that Someone who loves her is always with her, sharing every moment, even the most miserable.
What kind of love pictures can you create for someone else today? As a parent, a friend, a partner, we have tremendous power to heal, just with our love.
Diane: Today I came across this list that I saved from a friend 7 years ago. It made me smile. Some of these are so touching. This is the way love looks to our kids. The last one especially reminded me of your story with your daughter.
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy – age 4
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri, age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny – age 7
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy – age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy – age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare – age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris – age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann – age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen – age 7
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica – age 8
And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry"
Diane, I just wanted to write a short note – re: the Love in our hearts —
I just ret'd from church on an overcast kind of gloomy March morning, (and I really didn't feel like going because of the time change etc but was so glad I did) – Pastor Dan is a wonderful person and I alwyas enjoy his talks / sermons—One of the songs we sang today – was "Let There be Peace on Earth and Let it begin with me" – I don't know what it is but that song always touches my heart in the deep places– I always think of my responsiblity to be kind and caring – to my family, friends, co-workers etc even when there have been difficult times between us.
It sounds like quite a time your daughter had – being a mother of two grown daughters, myself, I can remember flus or sitting with them in the washroom, just holding their hand. Also, when my husband suffered a major depression 5 years ago – and how we clung to each other for two years while things shifted – (an oil spill on our beautiful business and gardens didn't help things)I'm so glad we hung in together and braved it together and now that we are at the other end, we have a deeper love and faith than ever before.
I'm kind of rambling here but I just want to say I love your Blogs and hope to join the Healing Code blog–I recently purchased the book for myself and have been workoing away on the Healing Codes for a problem I've been having with my neck- quite painful actually – Its only been two weeks – I find it not so much helping my neck, but like you, my frame of mind– I feel lighter, less worried. Thank you again ~ I look forward to reading and keeping up wtih your Blogs and e-mails.
Claudia Sutton, Ontario Canada
This is a very beautiful story Diane. Thank you for sharing it. It reminds me of a story I wrote one time which made the point that we cannot always remove a person's pain but we can be there for them and help them endure it.
Warm Blessings,
Sharon
Thanks Diane for a lovely reminder about the healing power of love. It reminded me of the people I too had taken the time to nuture during a difficult event or time in their life. In Al-anon working with the friends and families of alcoholics presents us with many such opportunities.