Try This (Different) Kind of “Diet”

I‘ve written about how, when you want to change something, the focus needs to be on staying in the new energy of what you desire, through doing some small daily task to keep you in that energy.

I have set this, my sixty-sixth year, as “the year to fix and nix” and 2023 as “the year to be free of all that’s not me. 

One of the things I’m “fixing and nixing” is my thought life.

Many people at this time of year go on a diet. Or they resolve to work out, “get in shape.”

I propose a different kind of “diet,” a different way to “get in shape.”

It’s a “thought diet,” an idea inspired by Dr. Natali, Edmonds, who coaches what she calls Careblazers—people who are taking care of a loved one with dementia. (If you’re in this situation, check out her Youtube videos.)

Imagine your thoughts are like items on a giant buffet. Everything you believe, the habitual thought patterns, are spread out before you.

As you go through the buffet line, you get to choose what thoughts you want to “put on your plate” to “take in.”

I think a lot of us don’t realize that we get to choose how we feel, by choosing our thoughts.

The formula, which every child should be taught but few have parents who know this themselves, is that our thoughts determine our feelings, and our feelings determine our behaviors. Behaviors then tend to reinforce the thoughts, which get cemented into beliefs, and then the feelings are hard-wired into our bodies, until we find ourselves caught up in patterns we don’t feel we can control.

But we can. We do it by becoming aware of our thoughts, and, like going through the buffet line, we choose which thoughts we desire to think that will lead to the feelings we want to feel.

Here’s the kicker, for me at least: Just because a thought is true, doesn’t mean you have to hang onto it.

You can still look for a different thought, which can be just as true, but will lead to feeling better.

Here’s an example.

Let’s say you asked your spouse to take out the trash. It’s now 10pm the night before trash pickup day. He still hasn’t taken out the trash. In fact, he’s gone to bed already!

Thoughts: He never does what I ask him to. He just ignores me. Now I have to do it, on top of everything else I’ve done today. I’m just as tired as he is. But I always end up picking up his slack. I’ve had it.

What do these thoughts make you feel? Irritated, resentful, perhaps even unloved. Unheard, uncared for. Angry!

The incident may have triggered earlier feelings from unhealed memories of being ignored, unappreciated, not heard. (Those are the memories you would want to address with a Healing Code, so that you can more easily do the next step.)

Can you stop in that moment of fatigue and irritation, and notice your thoughts and feelings? And then ask yourself, “What would I like to feel now instead?”

Perhaps you want to feel compassion—for yourself and your spouse. Compassion is so healing, and is one of my go-to feelings. You might choose thoughts like, “I’ve had a hard day, and he has too. We’re both exhausted. When I’m tired, I forget things, too. I’ll just take out the trash and be done with it, and tell him tomorrow that I would really appreciate it if he would take out the trash earlier in the evening next week.”

Do you see how much energy you can save by choosing different thoughts and therefore creating different feelings for yourself?

The first step is to tune in and notice. Notice how you’re feeling, and what thoughts are fueling those feelings.

Then, picture yourself at that thought buffet. The current thoughts are spread out. You don’t have to put them on your plate! Think about how you want to feel, and look for the thoughts that would lead to those feelings.

Don’t beat yourself up for the negative thoughts and feelings. You are human. Those thoughts and feelings are real. But again, just because they’re real, and perhaps even true, doesn’t mean you have to keep them. You don’t have to put everything on that buffet table onto your plate. (Imagine if you tried!)

Remember always: You get to choose.

If you haven’t yet chosen your “new energy intention” yet, perhaps it can be “I get to choose.” Or simply, “Notice!” Like my “calm focus” reminder, it could help you make the changes you desire, with less friction and effort.

And if you want to learn techniques for healing and transformation that make this kind of suggestion easier to do, send me email (diane at healingcodescoaching.com). I’ll send you information on my new Align with Your Divine Design(TM) program to guide your discovery of your unique purpose, with brand-new, science-backed tools to rewire your nervous system and heal the blocks that keep you from expressing that purpose.