What I Wish I’d Known as a Young Parent


A few days ago, my youngest child celebrated her 18th birthday. In a couple of weeks, we will take her to college. My oldest child will enter his last year of college. (That’s her as a baby–always the joker.)

My child-rearing days are over. I am going through the 12 Healing Codes categories to heal any residual issues from those years to sort of “clean house” as my husband and I enter a new phase of life. (The 12 Categories can be found in chapter 11 of The Healing Code and in free Heart Issues Finder assessment tool.)

In the process, I can’t help but wish I had The Healing Codes when I was a younger parent. Knowing what I know now about “heart issues,” and after working with nearly a  thousand clients on their heart issues, two things stand out to me as the most important things a parent can do for a child.

1. Heal your own heart issues. Children “absorb” from their parents energy and patterns from unhealed memories. One of the best gifts you can give your children is your own health and example of how to deal with the disappointments, sadness, frustration etc. of life. Let them absorb the right things: peace, love, joy, faith, goodness, humility, self-control, patience. Let them learn from your example how to forgive, live in truth, and avoid harmful actions. When you heal yourself, so much follows automatically.

(One of the greatest blessings of The Healing Codes is that when you do a Code for yourself, you can release it to those close to you. You are connected to your family energetically. This works for or against you. Let it work for you! Do Codes on your own issues, release them to your children, and all of you will heal! Here’s an article to explain how.)

I gave custom Healing Codes for “mother” and “father” issues that you may find on this site elsewhere. You can use these to heal either issues from your own parents, or issues you have with being a mother or a father.

2. Stock your child’s heart with plenty of “love pictures.” One of the important ways Healing Codes work is by replacing negative images with positive ones. In my coaching I always advise people to focus on a Love Picture or Truth Focus Statement. The Love Picture is actually the more powerful, because images are the “language” of the heart. When you focus on a memory in which you felt loved, secure, at peace, you generate a great deal of very positive energy to redirect back into the Healing Centers of the body.

One of the saddest parts of my work is when I come across a client who cannot think of any Love Picture at all. We all should have hundreds of such memories to draw upon by the time we’re adults. So a big part of good parenting is to “stock the well” with as many good times as possible.  Of course, no parent has any control over how a child perceives their attempts at love. (There are a a couple of very good books by Dr. Gary Chapman about The Five Love Languages, one for adults and one for parents to discern their child’s love language that may help here.) By loving your child in as many ways as possible, you will provide a foundation or “base camp” to which children can return when they are temporarily stranded on an island of fear or sadness or anger.

I believe love is stronger than negative images. A few strong love pictures in your child’s heart will override a plethora of negative pictures. Scripture says, “Love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Your love will cover the many times when you failed as a parent.

This is the law of grace, and it’s stronger than the law of cause and effect. At least, that’s what I’m banking on as I launch my children into the world as young adults.

If you would like a custom Healing Code for your issues or more information on The Healing Codes, visit for much help and information.


0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Hadi Jungkenn

I just spent 7 days with my two daughters 43 + 48. Both had not read the Healing Code. I gave each a peace of paper, and made them write down what bothered them about themselves, their phsycal issues etc, Explained the healing Code we would pray together. They started writing…. The younger one said: ” I can’t remember anything about my childhood.” I said:” never mind, just write down, whatever you want to disappear, that you don’ t like in your live at this moment.” Then i said the prayer out loud and they said it after me. The… Read more »


Thank you for this. My children are 6, 5 & 2. I came across the healing codes a few months ago. I have struggled with severe post natal depression so parenthood is not what I envisaged. I have so much guilt over how I am mothering my children. I am healing and have hope now. I am relieved to know that it flows to my children. 


"Your love will cover the many times when you failed as a parent."  Thank you for this. 

Jo Ann Meadows Matejczyk

Diane, this is encouraging.  Like you, I wish I'd had this information when I was raising our three youngsters.  I'll send you a poem that I love that was published in the Ann Landers column many years ago, about the sending away of our becoming-adult children for college.

Privacy Policy

View Privacy Policy. Your use of this site implies you agree with this policy.