When the Holidays Bring Painful Memories
By
For some of us, the holidays are anything but peaceful or joyful.
Perhaps the holidays bring up memories of disappointment, tension, even trauma.
Or, perhaps there’s more of a sense of emptiness. It’s not that anything bad happened, it’s just that . . . there was nothing especially joyful about it either.
Or maybe it’s just that things are so different now, with all that’s going on and all that’s changed in the world.
If any of these scenarios fit you, I encourage you to do a Healing Code specifically on your negative holiday memories.
First, start with your current feelings and beliefs about the holidays. Is the belief that it’s all up to you to make the holidays a perfect, special time causing you stress? Are you feeling anxiety over finding “the perfect gift”? Are you dealing with the old “not enough” feeling as you try to make your budget stretch to include gifts? Are you anticipating disappointment because you’ve always felt disappointed by Christmas? Are you feeling pressured to plan a great party, wondering if you can live up to others’ expectations? Are you feeling lonely because you can’t be with loved ones now, and that’s triggering unhealed loneliness from the past?
Whatever your current stress is, rate it (1-10, 10 being the worst). Then ask yourself, “What other times have I felt this way?” Jot down those memories, rate them, then start to work on the strongest or earliest memory with a Healing Code. (Use the universal Code from The Healing Code book, or get a custom Healing Code from me.)
You can drain the negative charge from those earlier memories so that they don’t have to color your current experience. You can enjoy this year for what it is, and create new, joyful memories.
I pray you will let the Joy-giver, whose birthday Christmas celebrates, heal any negative memories, and break into your life with the joy and peace he came to bring.
And if you want some extra help and support, check out my coaching at HealingCodesCoaching.com.
I am a former Christmas outcast. Although on the outside, nothing has changed: I am “alone” in my tiny snow-covered house in the mountains rejoicing in thankfulness over the beauty around me. But I can assure you, I am not alone at all.
Let me go back a long time and share something beautiful with you, although at the time it was more painful than I can say.
Some years ago I was on the run from a very dangerous person who had held me essentially as a sex slave at gunpoint for 9.5 years.
Someone very precious and unafraid of anything had taken me into her home to protect me. Jesus was the center of her life.
Christmas came, and she and her husband, and stepson left me to go off for the holiday. My new boyfriend rudely and terribly unkindly broke up with me the day before Christmas. I was supposed to spend Christmas with him hence the friends unable to take me along.
This was another Christmas rejection, along with the many others I had suffered at the hands of family and friends. But this time I was truly crushed. I really loved the boyfriend, and his rejection was cruel. (Oddly enough, eventually we became dear friends and he called me last night. I still love him very much, but not the same way.)
I sat alone in my little room crying my heart out. Suddenly I became aware of Jesus in my room standing slightly beside and behind me.
Please be patient and let me digress for a moment. He did speak to me, and I want to warn you that what He said seemed unkind at the moment. I can assure you it was not said so. When you look closely you will see that it was an honor.
He said to me,
“They rejected Me. Why should you be any different?”
Then He showed me that I was following Him and that was not always easy, but it was always, Always, in ALL WAYS better than the alternative which is a life without Him.
I was much better that Christmas, and many Christmases after. But then I got myself into another constant rejection cycle and I left the states for a while.
That year in my temporarily adopted country, everybody I knew invited me over and I had a great time. I had Christmas dinner attempting to speak Spanish with my new found friends. Everybody got a good laugh over my Spanish, including me. But nobody would tell me what I said by accident… Everyone was laughing and the one English speaking person was turning as bright a red as Santa's outfit and refused to tell me what I just said! I still don't know. They are still my dear friends.
Although I have friends all over the place back here in the states, I am still not invited. Sorry, family only this time of year. That apparently isn't me.
Yet I cannot say I am either unhappy or feeling sorry for myself at all. I am so excited about Christmas it makes people laugh.
Tonight my best friend Jesus is coming especially to my house to dance with me and to bless me as we light lights together, sing with the angels, maybe eat, and read about the wonder of the Christmas story and just be together. He is the greatest thing in my life. He is my all, my everything.
I can never be grateful enough for the humility of the King of the Universe coming as a baby, helpless and dependent to my world, to offer His life for me in the most amazing act of love EVER experienced on this planet. Truly there is nothing like it.
From the depths of my heart, from His love within me, I wish you a Merry Christmas.
Shelley, what a story! Thanks so much for sharing it. That sounds just like the Jesus I know and love, too! He just gave me a wonderful Christmas with many special gifts.
Thank you, Caterina. Holy-day blessings to you, too! (I love that: Holy-days…)
Thanks Diane for such a thoughtful understanding of what Christmas 'stress' is to some people. I'm sure I'm not alone, when I am pleased when it is over – the overwhelming materialistic atmosphere, people rushing about (if they are not in traffic queues). No time for quiet contemplation or meditation for some. Commercialisation seems to have buried the true meaning of Christmas for many people.
Thanks for thinking of us Christmas' "outcasts" and for all the help you are giving us. God bless you wishing you the warmest Holy-days.