Why Not to Judge


Do you ever struggle to forgive yourself, or another person?

Do you struggle with judging others–or yourself?

In working with hundreds of clients from all over the world, one of the wonderful lessons I’ve learned was not to judge–myself or others.

Here are four reasons why not to judge, that I hope will foster a more compassionate attitude toward yourself and others.

1. So much of our past governs our behavior. We can judge the behaviors as wrong, but have compassion for the person, because we don’t know what that person has gone through to bring him or her to that point. Just think about the times you were judged, and you felt like saying, “If only you really knew me, you’d know why I am this way.” When people open up to me and share their stories, invariably I’m moved to compassion and admiration, not judgment. What some people have had to deal with is truly heart-wrenching.

2. Scientists don’t know how much of our behavior is governed by biochemical issues. Some go so far as to claim that we have no free will. I disagree with this as an absolute statement, but it does make one consider the extent to which other factors influence or even control us. Certainly we can have compassion on ourselves and others when we realize that we aren’t always in full control of what we do. (By the way, this goes as far back as St. Paul, who said in Romans 7, “I don’t do what I know I should, and I do what I know I shouldn’t.”)

3. Along the lines of #2, scientists are now discovering another influencing factor: the microbiome. There are trillions of bacteria that live on and inside of us, that are communicating with our cells.  I’m utterly fascinated with the microbiome, and so are the scientists. Again, we don’t know the extent to which, for example, pathogens are influencing what goes on in our bodies and brains, but we do know there is an influence.

4. Add to all this, the “genetic carryover” from past generations. We now know that traumas in one generation can carry down through the DNA to subsequent generations. These generational memories are one of the things I test for with clients. The influence of these memories can be huge.

An example from my own life: I was working on a generational memory from my mom (I actually knew what her memory was; we had to heal it in her, too), and when that memory healed, a success block cleared up for me and things were never the same after that (in a good way). That generational memory was apparently the cause of my success block.

Generational or other “hidden memories” (that your spirit and body remember, though your soul/conscious mind may not) are quite often the cause of stubborn issues.

Jesus said, “Judge not, lest you be judged.” I find it fascinating that when someone mocks, judges or ridicules, it says more about them than it does about anything else.

In fact, most of the time, most people are so engulfed by any or all of the above four things, that whenever they act rudely to you  it’s really not about you at all. It’s really all about them.

One of the reasons I do not like social media much is the judgment that goes on. It invites judgment. It may be others judging you, or you judging yourself in some way against others.

In a neighborhood chat group recently, I posted a concern about the way the gas company forced us to submit to having a smart meter put on our gas meter, and some links to some information that point to the possibility that smart meters could cause health concerns. Some people thanked me, but others judged me and mocked me.  It helped to remind myself of the above truths. I wished them all peace and signed off and said I’m done with the post.

Jesus said, as he hung on the cross for crimes he did not commit, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” How true. How freeing.

If you would like help in finding hidden memories to heal them so you can  act more freely, check out my coaching at

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Gracias dianeđź’—

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