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When I discovered how bamboo grows, I thought it an apt image both for how heart issues develop AND how they heal.

Knowing how heart issues are like bamboo may help you both understand the healing process and be more patient with it.

Bamboo’s growth starts underground, where the rhizome system that supports the canes are developed. For three whole years, the plant establishes itself underground and there is no apparent growth. Absolutely nothing appears to be happening. For three years!

In the fourth year, shoots appear. The bamboo canes grow in height and diameter for only 60 days every spring. After the 60 days, that particular cane will never grow again.

However, because of the rhizome system, the next spring the shoots that come up will grow much taller and faster in those 60 days. After a bamboo grove has been establishing its rhizome system for 5 years, the canes that grow in that fifth year can reach as much as 90 feet (for certain species, in certain conditions)–all in 60 days!

This picture also applies to how heart issues form, and then manifest eventually in our lives in some health, relationship, and/or success issue.

Like the rhizome system that forms underground,

memories and beliefs accumulate in the subconscious

mind.

If enough unhealthy beliefs based on negative memories and images gather (whether in the unconscious or subconscious mind, or energy patterns in the DNA or cells, nobody knows exactly yet), they will eventually manifest in some kind of problem. It may take years, even decades for the “shoot” of the negativity to manifest, but eventually it does.

That manifestation can “take off” into a major illness. If the theories of Dr. Alex Loyd in The Healing Code and Dr. Bruce Lipton in The Biology of Belief are true, such illnesses began long before any symptoms or problems showed up.
Read More→

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One of my favorite books of all time is a little book called Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel.

The authors mention a maxim in there, which I like and am trying to live by:
  • “Talk to God about everything.
  • “Do nothing out of fear.
  • “Love others deeply.”

Sounds good, doesn’t it? But how do we do it? Especially the “do nothing out of fear” part?

We Are Not Meant to Live in Fear

First, recognize and embrace that we are not meant to live in fear.

Fear does bad things to spirit, soul and body.

In our spirit, fear stunts our spiritual growth. Instead of the right kind of fear of God–awe at his greatness, wonder at his goodness–we can have a fear based on distorted images of God (he is mean, angry, punishing, out to get you–like, perhaps, a parent was?). This will keep us from the Source of love and life.

God does not want us to live in fear! I have heard that some form of “do not fear” is in the Bible 365 times. Once for each day of the year. (Maybe we’re allowed fear only every leap year!)

Fear also stunts our soul. It can cause us to miss our destiny. Jesus told a parable of a man who hid his talent (money) in the ground because he “knew his master was a hard [and unjust] man, so he was afraid” and did nothing with what he had been given. Fear keeps us from fulfilling our potential.

Fear will distort our perceptions  and lead to making bad decisions, ruining relationships–you get the picture.

And, of course, fear does bad things to the body. It keeps the sympathetic nervous system dominant, cortisol gets released along with a lot of other stress hormones that do a lot of damage over time.

So how do we “do nothing from fear”?

Recognize and Address the Fears

Look not just for specific fears, but what I think of as “baseline fears.” The kind of fears that are at the root of so many other fears.

For example, a fear of failure may really be a fear of rejection or judgment from others. Heal the fear of rejection, looking for memories of being rejected and/or judged.

Another “baseline” fear I recognize in myself and clients is fear of not being good enough, or worthy enough. Again, look for early memories and relationships where you felt that way. Heal that with The Healing Codes or Immanuel Prayer. Replace the lie that you’re not good enough with the truth that God makes you good enough. It’s not what you do, it’s a grace given that you can receive.

Here’s another baseline fear, one that marketers love to tap into: fear of missing out. Related to that: fear of not belonging. If you tend to succumb to manipulation tactics, one or both of these fears might be making you susceptible. Look for the underlying memories and beliefs that are the source of these fears, and heal those. You will find yourself automatically establishing better boundaries and enjoying healthier relationships.

Infuse the Positive

It’s not enough to heal the wounds, you also want to infuse and strengthen the positive. That’s what I like so much about The Healing Codes. It’s largely about infusing positive images and truths to negate the lies and hurtful memories. Immanuel Prayer is even better, as you invite the living presence of Jesus into those memories.

It’s impossible for our brains to hold a negative and positive thought at the same time.  So besides deliberately healing the fears you are aware of, consciously refocus your thoughts when they go to the negative place. Catch yourself, and replace it with a more positive focus.

You might even want to smile. I hear that actually does something in the brain.

This is not the same as “stuffing.” This is self-control. When you stuff a negative emotion or thought, you push it down, you don’t want to deal with it. When you practice self-control, you recognize what’s going on, and you deliberately choose not to give that thought any more time. At the same time, you are regularly making time to deal with what comes up. That’s the difference. With self-control, it’s more of a “not thinking about that now, I’ll deal with it in my healing work” or whenever it’s appropriate. But you do deal with it.

To “do nothing out of fear,” you need to deal with the fears, and practice self-control by deliberately refocusing on love and truth in the moment. I like to deliberately turn my focus to some memory when I just knew God was with me, or to appreciation of something good in my life. I remind myself that God is with me right this moment, and tune in to his presence. If there’s fear, I just talk to him about it, and affirm my trust that he can take care of everything.

Which brings me back to:

Talk to God about everything.

Do nothing out of fear.

Love others deeply.

It’s truly a wonderful way to live!

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I had no idea I was doing something on a daily (well, nightly) basis that was so damaging to my health: Not getting enough sleep.

I thought, like many people, that because I always woke up before the alarm went off, I was getting enough sleep. Usually it was 6-6.5 hours.

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker, PhDAccording to Matthew Walker, author of Why We Sleep, the research says that’s not enough. If you get less than 7-9 hours of sleep every night, you are endangering your health.

After even one night of less than 5 hours of sleep, natural killer cells (which kill cancer cells that appear in your body every day) drop by 70%. Just one night!

And routinely sleeping less than 6 or 7 hours a night increases your risk of cancer by 50%. And, “based on epidemiological data, any adult sleeping and average of 6.75 hours a night would be predicted to live only into their early sixties….” (p. 262). In an interview on NPR with Terry Gross, Walker said, “We also know that every disease that is killing us in developed nations has causal and significant links to a lack of sleep. And a lack of sleep defined as six hours of sleep or less.”

Yikes!

Walker cites many amazing studies, on everything from the sleep habits of various species, to what happened when high schools moved their start time an hour later (70% fewer car accidents, 212 points more on the SAT tests!). He calls himself “the sleep diplomat” and is out to help people understand the importance of sleep for our health and even societal well-being.

Take car crashes, for instance. Driving when drowsy is actually more dangerous than driving drunk!

He also points out that sleeping pills, alcohol and other drugs merely sedate you, they don’t help you get naturalistic sleep. Your “sleep” will not restore you as it’s meant to.

Though Walker takes a decidedly evolutionary approach, what he says about the function of sleep made me marvel at how God created us, and gave us this amazing, FREE source of nightly rejuvenation.

If only we will take it seriously….

Few books have actually changed my behavior. This one has.

What tipped me over the edge was learning that you can’t judge whether you’re sleep-deprived. You get acclimated to impaired performance, lower alertness, and reduced energy levels.

The bottom line is: If you’re not getting around 8 hours of sleep per night, you’re sleep deprived and are undermining your long-term health.

I am determined to get to bed earlier so that I can get my 8 hours of sleep that human beings apparently always need. Nothing can substitute.

As I address this issue in myself, I’m seeing just how many “heart issues” are involved. If you struggle with insomnia, I encourage you to read this book, work on whatever “heart issues” are preventing you from getting enough sleep. Follow the suggestions below, and get more help if you need it.

This one thing–getting enough sleep–may

literally save your life.

Here are some suggestions from the book on how to get more and better sleep:

  1.  Establish a regular bedtime and sake-up time, even on weekends.
  2. Go to bed only when sleepy and avoid sleeping on the couch early/mid-evenings.
  3. Never lie awake in bed for a significant time period; rather, get out of bed and do something quiet and relaxing until the urge to sleep returns.
  4. Avoid daytime napping if you are having difficulty sleeping at night.
  5. Reduce anxiety-provoking thoughts and worries by learning to mentally decelerate before bed (here’s where Healing Codes come in!).
  6. Remove visible clockfaces from view in the bedroom, preventing clock-watching anxiety at night. Also all screens, and don’t look at any screens at least an hour before bed.

There is an appendix with twelve other suggestions. Highly recommend the book!

And if you need help in finding and addressing the “heart issues” that may be undermining your ability to get a good night’s sleep every night, feel free to contact me for some Healing Codes coaching.

 

The other day, a client moaned to me, “That’s the story of my life.”

“Then that’s exactly what we need to address for healing,” I responded.

What’s “the story of your life”? That “heart matter” that keeps on popping up for you?

Here are some of the ones I commonly hear:

  • “No matter what I do, I can never quite get ahead.”
  • “People don’t pay attention to me. It’s like I’m invisible.”
  • “Never enough (money, time, love, joy, support….)”
  • “I’m never _____ enough (good/smart/attractive/etc.)”
  • “I never feel really loved for who I am.”
  • “I’m always getting blamed for things.”
  • “People always end up abusing/leaving/betraying me.”

Such negative patterns can usually be traced to unconscious beliefs based on interpretations of certain events in your life. But not only your own life–sometimes these patterns have their roots in “the way things have been” for generations.

The beliefs formed in our very early days or “absorbed” generationally get “hard-wired” in the unconscious and are difficult to access. This is where that “story of your life” becomes so valuable. Those themes that keep recurring are clues to what can lead to breakthroughs when they’re healed.

And the good news is–you can change these things!

You can rewrite the story of your life. Starting right now, you can create a new story.

The first step is to recognize the pattern. Articulate the story.

The Story of My Life

The “story of my life” can be summarized in one word: overwhelm.

As a Highly Sensitive Person, one of my traits is that I’m easily overstimulated. I was born this way. It didn’t help that the first 6 weeks or so of my life were spent in the NICU as a very sick baby. (I’m actually written up somewhere in a medical journal as being a “miracle baby.”) Back in those days, the NICU was an extremely stimulating place–with little to no normal human contact such as being held or cuddled.

One woman, who worked as a nurse in a NICU unit around the same year when I was there, looked back on those years and told me this: “The babies belonged to us [nurses]. The parents had nothing to do with their care. We lined them up in an assembly line and propped the bottle to feed them.”

When I heard this (just a few years ago), I realized why my mother and I never properly bonded. It was not her fault, nor mine. We never had the chance.

While I don’t have a conscious memory of that time, I do have either an imagined memory or spirit memory (I believe the human spirit records everything that happens to us), and it was of overwehelming noise and bright lights, never being able to rest, and loneliness. A fight for my life, and a sense that I would not survive if I didn’t please everyone.

These themes I have had to return to with The Healing Codes again and again.

Clues that you’re dealing with an unhealed memory

come up in the form of an irrational reaction to

something.

For instance, one day my husband made a minor mistake.

Instead of taking it in stride, I freaked out.

Realizing my reaction was way out of proportion to the actual thing my husband did, I prayed about what the real issue was.

Strangely, I got this “memory” of being in that NICU. A supervisor was scolding a nurse, presumably my nurse, saying, “You can’t make a mistake in here. You could have killed that baby!” (“That baby” being me, of course.)

I can still “remember” it. How? I don’t know. A spirit memory, I guess. (I believe  sometimes spirit memories are accessible to the conscious mind.)

No wonder I was freaked out at someone making a mistake! To me, it was a matter of life and death, based on that memory.

(Another memory I’ve had to heal is my first-grade teacher making us take the erasers off our pencils because “it encouraged us to make mistakes.” One night when doing my homework, I made a mistake on the paper, realized it, and erased it as best I could. That teacher noticed I had used an eraser and marked it wrong, even though it was correct. Message: you can’t ever correct a mistake once it’s made.)

Can you see why I became a perfectionist, terrified of making a mistake–or of someone else making a mistake that could affect me?

Heal the Story of Your Life and Experience a Breakthrough!

Many times when we heal this “story of my life” theme, we experience a breakthrough.

I knew I was healed of my “mistake issue” when my husband made a mistake some time after, and I took it in stride. Our marriage got a lot better as I was less anxious and therefore less critical of him making mistakes.

The bigger issue that was healed was my relationship with my mother. We got very close after she and I had both healed in many ways, including that lack of early bonding.

Who knows what breakthroughs you may experience when you heal “the story of your life”?

And if you would like some personalized help with identifying those “heart matters,” just go to my Healing Codes Coaching website to find out how I can help you.

 

 

 

 

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Do you get as tired as I do of the endless marketing that assaults us at every turn?

Don’t get me wrong. Honest marketing and advertising, where someone tells you honestly about the real benefits of a great product they believe in, and allows you to make your own informed decision–I’m all for that. After all, it’s what I do myself.

I’m talking about the advertising that is manipulative. That plays on your insecurities.

The kind that’s all about money. Feeling good in the moment. Power.

Of course, what those advertisers want us to believe is that we will get these things if we buy their products. The real underlying message is, “You need something from outside you to make you feel good.”

That sure doesn’t sound like we’re very free. We’re dependent on other things, outside of us, that we can’t really control, to make us feel significant, valued, secure.

I don’t buy it!

My identity and security IS tied to something

outside myself, but it’s not a “thing.” Read More→

Several people responded to my article on anger, in which I mentioned the soul and spirit, asking the question, “What’s the difference between the two?”

I responded in the Comments for that post, but thought I’d make it more visible here.

Some people don’t distinguish between spirit and soul, but Arthur Burk makes some useful distinctions, based on 1 Thessalonians 5:23: “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The soul is the mind, will, and (conscious) emotions, and is somewhat tied to the physical. So, for instance, the soul develops as the brain develops. We can help the soul grow by developing better thinking habits.

Soul memories may be more tied to brain development. These kind of memories can often, I believe, be healed through traditional psychological interventions, such as cognitive therapy. The soul is important. But the soul and body both are actually quickened by the spirit.

The human spirit is the completely non-physical part of us, and I believe starts at conception (if not before, with God; not sure how that works). The spirit has memory and feeling (deeper than emotions). The spirit memories are, I believe, what science now calls “cellular memories.” That is why one can have a “cellular memory” from the time in the womb.

Notice that in the scripture above, the order is “spirit, soul, and body.” Spirit comes first. That is why Arthur Burk can report such great results when mothers and fathers start blessing their baby’s spirit in the womb. Arthur says it gives the babies about a 10-month lead, because the “soul” doesn’t start to develop until the myelin sheath in the brain develops to a certain point. But the spirit records everything in every cell (cellular memory), and the spirit also, I believe, interacts with both soul and body.

My schematic is that the human spirit is meant to be connected to God’s Spirit, and then the human spirit is supposed to control both body and soul.

That is why, when you heal the wounds of the spirit–“heart issues”–everything improves. Physical health improves because the spirit is able to instruct the body how to heal, and the blocks to healing have been removed. The soul heals because the spirit is informing and infusing emotions and thought patterns with truth and love.  Thus relationships and one’s ability to succeed improve.

And that’s why, when you heal your spirit/heart matters with something like The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer, everything else improves.

Always focus on healing the spirit and getting it in right relationship with the Source of all life. Everything else just seems to flow from that. God’s Spirit, connected with your spirit, flowing life and love to body and soul. . . .

Aug
07

Is Anger Always Bad?

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Do you ever struggle with anger issues?

Some people believe that anger is always bad. I’ve heard one teacher say, “Anger is a sign that you have a wrong goal.”

Well, maybe. Sometimes. But I think anger is more like a light on the car dashboard, signaling that something is wrong.

When you are abused in some way–and it can be overt or covert, subtle or blatant–I believe you are wired to get angry about it.

The problem is, when you’re a child and someone abuses you, you have no frame of reference for knowing that this thing that was done to you was bad.

No frame of reference, except that part of your human spirit that makes you angry. I believe God built something into us that tells us when something is not right.

And it’s in our spirit, not our soul. It’s an internal “lie detector” which we can actually access now. (That’s what muscle testing does: helps us feel inside our bodies what our spirit senses is true or false, good or bad for us.)

Arthur Burk, who has done much study and teaching about both the human spirit and ministering to babies in the womb, tells of a horrifying yet fascinating experiment an obstetrician conducted on his pregnant patients.

While doing an ultrasound, the doctor would speak thus to the mother, in quiet, soothing tones, “I’m very sorry, but your baby’s heart is not beating. Your baby has died in your womb.”

That was a lie. The mother didn’t know it–but the baby did! It would start kicking the mother, as if to say, “He’s a liar. I’m very much alive.”

The baby’s brain and body were not developed enough to understand what the doctor was saying. But the baby’s spirit knew–and responded! I suspect that was an angry kick! The baby’s spirit picked up on the energy of the lie, because the human spirit operates on the level of energy.

Which brings me to another thing about anger: it’s an energy.

Using the Energy of Anger–Constructively

Anger carries energy. That energy often works against you. You lash out and harm a relationship, or you repress it and it goes inward and morphs into depression or addiction.

Anger is a very strong energy, and it needs to be channeled correctly.

When it’s unresolved, it can grow into bitterness. That’s the real problem–not the anger, but the bitterness and broken relationships that can come afterward.

So is anger something you should try to heal?

Go Deeper

Often I find anger is not the primary issue. I go deeper.

Is the anger really masked hurt? (This is often the case with men in particular, or when negative emotions were not allowed in one’s family.)

Has the anger turned to bitterness? Then the bitterness needs to be addressed.

Often the anger needs to be acknowledged as legitimate, and that in itself can be healing. When someone gets sad and angry on your behalf because of the abuse you experienced, that may be just the validation and comfort you need to start to heal the trauma and move on. (See my article on trauma.)

So when you’re angry, I encourage you to dig a little deeper. Is there an underlying pain of hurt and sadness to address? Has it led to bitterness, or harmful actions such as addictions that mask the pain? Address those.

Let anger be the caution light on your dashboard, alerting you that something is wrong. Heal the underlying issue.

And then use the energy of that anger to spark you to make positive changes.

And if you need help in identifying the underlying issues, I’m here to help you with some great tools that speed and deepen healing. Go to https://HealingCodesCoaching.com to find out more.

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In my last post, I wrote about how to prevent a painful event from becoming a trauma–for yourself. 

Now I’d like to share a story that beautifully illustrates how, through simple acts of kindness, we can prevent an event from becoming a trauma for others.

This comes from Cheryl Richards’s newsletter, dated July 1, 2018. Cheryl is the author of several books, her latest being Waking Up in Winter: In Search of What Really Matters at Midlife. Here is what she wrote.

It happened in an eat-in-the-rough restaurant in Bar Harbor, Maine. My friend Melissa and I had just ordered our meal when a boy walked into the room balancing a large tray on his shoulder. It was covered with several plates of food.

A family of five behind us was about to get their dinner.

As the boy stooped down to slide the tray onto the serving stand, a heaping plate of onion rings shifted and the whole tray went crashing to the floor.

Everyone in the restaurant stopped eating.

The family of five turned in their seats and gazed down at the onion rings, french fries and fried clams that were strewn all over the deck.

The boy stood in the middle of the mess, looking stunned and embarrassed.

That’s when it happened.…

A waiter came rushing into the room – a young man who looked to be in his late twenties. He stopped at the entrance when he saw the food scattered about the young man’s feet. We all took a collective breath as we anticipated his next move.

He stood quietly for a few seconds assessing the damage, then knelt down and started cleaning up the mess.

“It’s okay,” he said in a calm, loving voice as he scraped food off the floor. “It happens to all of us.”

The frightened boy slowly leaned down next to him to help pick up the plates.

“Please don’t feel bad,” the waiter continued as he playfully tousled the boy’s hair. “We all make mistakes. You’ll forget about this in no time.”

Melissa and I looked at each other, tears brimming in our eyes. A hushed silence filled the room. The waiter’s kindness was palpable. I’m sure everyone in the restaurant felt it.

Now there’s a model for how to be a good human being, I said to Melissa as we resumed eating our meal.

A beautiful lesson in choosing kindness under pressure.

I think about kindness and compassion a lot these days.  With so much divisiveness here in the U.S., I remind myself of how important it is to contribute something good and helpful and healing to others.

I also think about that young man at the restaurant and the example he set of grace under pressure, his impulse for choosing kindness over reaction and drama.

You never know when life’s going to present you with a teacher, do you?  That young waiter gives me hope for our future.

Thanks, Cheryl. You have given us a powerful picture not only of kindness in action, but of how to prevent a traumatic memory in another person. That young waiter who made the mistake will now have a memory of grace and kindness, rather than a memory of humiliation and failure, for the rest of his life. And so will the others who witnessed this scene, and who read these words….

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Does every painful event that happens to us inevitably become a trauma?

The good news is: NO!

To understand how this can be–and more importantly, to prevent a life event from becoming a trauma–you need to understand why and how  something becomes a trauma.

Trauma and UDINS

I’ve written before about life events that become traumatic because they are UDINs: Unexpected, Dramatic, Isolating, and having No resources, recourse, or solutions.

These four elements are what make something traumatic.

Notice that one and a half of the elements of a UDIN are unpreventable.

You can’t control when some crisis will happen, or how.

You can’t control how bad it will be (half of the Dramatic element).

That’s the one and a half you can’t control.

What you can control of the Dramatic part, though, to at least some degree, is how it will affect you.

And you can control whether you will let it Isolate you, and whether you will believe that there are No solutions or resources.

According to Dr. Karl Lehman, there is a pain pathway in the brain that needs to be traveled all the way through in order for a painful event not to become a trauma. If we can go all the way through the pain processing pathway, we “metabolize” the experience and it does not become a trauma that can then get triggered again and again, and cause all kinds of physical, emotional, or relational problems.

The main reason a painful event becomes traumatic is that we feel alone in it. Relationship has been withdrawn. We become disconnected.

Dr. Lehman explains that “because we live with brains that configure all our reality and experiences in relational terms, we must learn to stay relational in the presence of our pain.”

How do we do that?

Staying Relational in the Pain

Many of us grew up in families that themselves never learned this. When they or we were in pain, it led to withdrawal. The “relational circuits” in the brain (RCs) were switched off. If this happened in our experience, we may come to believe that when we’re in pain, love is going to be withdrawn. Thus we turn off to the pain, or we go off by ourselves to try to deal with it.

Which, if we’re to believe the brain science experts, never works.

So how do we stay relational in the pain, so we can actually process it and not let it become a trauma?

Look for Someone Who Knows How to Be With You in Pain

It can be difficult to reach out to someone when you are in pain, because not everyone will know how to deal with it. Most people will instinctively try to make you feel better, make the pain go away. You may instinctively turn to something to make you feel better, make the pain go away.

The only way out of the pain, is through it. Preferably with someone else.

If you know someone with whom you feel safe, you can kind of coach them along as to how they can help you.

Approach them at a time when you both can talk. Ask them if they would be willing to just listen to you and reflect back how you’re feeling without attempting to change anything.

Note: That someone can be God. God is always with us, and if you believe his Word, he has promised 14 times never to leave you or forsake you. You can journal or pray your way through the sequence below. (For more help with this, I suggest the book, The Joyful Journey: Listening to ImmanuelYou can also contact me for some Healing Codes. This is a big part of what I do in my Healing Codes Coaching work.)

Let’s say you just lost someone dear to you, and are feeling great grief.

The VCR of Relief

Here the three steps to working through the pain. Again, ideally you will do this in the presence of someone who has the capacity to be with you in this process.

  1. Validation: name the feeling and/or belief you have as a result of the event. “I miss my friend so much. She was like  a mom to me. Who will I go to now when I need the wise, down-to-earth advice she always knew how to give? I have lost so much, so unexpectedly….”

If you’re processing something with someone and they reflect back your words to you with empathy,  you will feel validated and understood. The first step is to stay connected with the experience rather than try to escape or minimize it. Doing this with another person removes the Isolating factor.

2. Comfort: Look for the origin of the negative feeling or belief attached to the event. You may be upset by the event itself, but it may also be triggering an unhealed memory from the past. You may or may not remember what that is, but naming the origin of it as best you know can be helpful.

“This sounds silly, but it reminds me of the time my father accidentally killed my cat when I was young. I used to tell my cat my problems, and I never felt she judged me.” So now we’re dealing with more than losing the friend; we’re dealing with an unhealed memory from the past, that amplifies the pain in the current memory. Just realizing this can be comforting. It can help you begin to make sense out of the pain. “Oh, this is not just about this incident.” (And you will want to address both incidents with The Healing Codes and/or healing prayer.)

Or maybe it is just about this incident, because in itself it’s so huge.  “I’ve never lost someone this close to me before. I don’t know how to handle it.” Understanding the level of intensity of the emotion is also part of comfort.

3. Repatterning, or Returning to Joy.  When the first two things have happened–validation and comfort–you are then open to new perspectives on the situation.  A skilled listener will know just how to help you come to the new perspective yourself, rather than trying to give advice, fix you or make the pain go away. This is where you realize you are not without resources, thus eliminating the N-No recourse or resources–of the UDIN.

The last step in the Pain Processing Pathway is finding meaning in the experience, so that it leads to wisdom and maturity.

This process can take time, or it can be fairly quick, depending on the intensity and scope of the painful event. But when you deliberately reject Isolation and seek help from someone who can Validate, Comfort, and help you Return to Joy, you need not fear that the event will become a trauma that you never get over. You will emerge stronger, wiser and more mature.

If you would like some personalized help in healing your trauma, please check out my custom Healing Codes Coaching.  I have wonderful tools for helping you process such pain successfully–and permanently. And I can be that validating presence that will help you get through the trauma to the other side, where wisdom and peace reside.

 

Are you a person who is very spiritual by nature but you feel like you have to keep that part of you separate from your business success?
Most likely that’s because you are what Business Miracles Mentor, Heather Dominick, refers to as a Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur. Not sure what that is? You can take the Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur quiz here.
You can also join Heather this Wednesday in a webinar class that will address the things that can trip you up in business.

 

I find Heather inspiring, refreshing, and encouraging. She has helped me to gain confidence that, as she says, HSEs are uniquely positioned to help other people if we can learn to go with our HS strengths and not get snagged by the things that can trip us up….
Things like:
  • what to do when you feel overwhelmed so it doesn’t stop you in your tracks
  • what you need to prioritize during your business day (so it feels good, gets done and generates income)
  • who you need to speak to in order to attract your ideal clients (and how it doesn’t need to feel all intimidating)
Reserve your seat here (even if you can’t make the live class, as there may be a recording).
Heather says that for Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs it can be tempting, when it all feels too much, to shut down, contract and try to protect yourself at all costs (or go into chaotic, panic, road runner mode). When what’s actually happening is you are receiving a call to OPEN UP, not give up.
It’s an opportunity to consider the possibility that there might be another way.
That’s exactly what she’ll be teaching you on this LIVE webinar class and it’s FREE. Click here to register.
2018 is calling for Business Miracles!
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Question about using The Healing Codes:

 I have no trouble identifying an emotional issue, however I can’t always link the feeling to a specific memory.  Is it OK to do the Healing Code on the emotional issue alone?”

You do not absolutely need to link the emotion to a specific early memory. Your heart will find and heal the issues that need to be healed.

That said, I will add that if you can find an early memory, it seems to speed healing. The more specific you can be with The Healing Code, the quicker the healing seems to happen. (That’s why custom codes are so powerful; they are specific to your particular issue. ) But you never want  to force anything with The Healing Code; that’s counter-productive.

At the beginning of your Healing Code session, give yourself a moment for any memories to surface. If they don’t, do the Code on the current emotional issue. As you work with The Healing Code and heal, you may find it easier to access the earlier memories.

Your heart may be protecting you from remembering early memories. Many of my clients also find that after working with The Healing Codes for a time, memories that have healed come to the surface. If there’s no emotional charge on that memory, then it usually means it’s healed. One of the wonderful benefits of The Healing Code is you “get your life back” as these healed memories surface.

One client had a very key early memory with several negative elements that needed to be healed. Interestingly, once the negative parts of the memory healed, it became a very positive memory–one she even started using for her “love picture”!

That’s all The Healing Code does, by the way: heals the negative aspects of the pictures and feelings. Yet when that happens, as the book explains, many amazing things can happen.

For more on how to get the most out of The Healing Codes, sign up for the free course, “Getting Started with The Healing Codes,” sent via email.

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